"Oh, the silent treatment huh! Nice, why can't you answer me Calvin, is it because you don't know?" Feeling this anger and hurt building up within me. I feel like my body is being possessed by someone else. With the passion of betrayal flowing through me I snapped. Getting in his face pointing and screaming at him. Feeling like an observer in my own body as I watch this play out. Why can't I stop that me, from acting like this?
"Hey, Hannah calm the F@ck down! I'm not going to justify myself to you for something I have yet to do! I have never once pegged you as the jealous type, Hannah. Just admit it, you are jealous of Nina." Trying my best to keep calm and not overreact to her outburst of emotions.
I'm in shock by my girl's jealousy; It looks like Hannah's new personality is rearing its ugly head again. Replacing my lighthearted sweet girlfriend. Great now I feel bad, knowing I caused her to feel this way. All I wanted to do is have some fun while I was here. I didn't plan on hurting anyone's feelings.
"I do not get jealous; however, I do hate LIARS Calvin! I saw you two flirting with one another, when you thought my back was turned earlier, explain that!" I can feel my face getting hot and flushed. Hoping it's not visible enough that Calvin notices. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath to calm myself. Needing to regain my sanity so I may have clarity again. Opening my eyes, the first thing I spot is a rock that looked very inviting. I can't explain how or why but it is asking me to come sit upon it and relax.
(Spirits observation)
After clearing her mind Hannah decided to sit down on the inviting rock. We knew she needed a break and offered her the idea. She loves to sit by the ocean and listen to the water crash against the rocks. It's soothing for her. Calvin continues walking down the green belt without saying a word to her. Hannah turned her head and noticed Calvin had walked further down the path. Feeling depleted she turns her head back around and stares into the ocean.
Nice Hannah, just sit there and see if I care! I am not playing games with you! Am I? Wait a minute, what am I saying? I keep telling myself not to fall for this girl. I'm going home in eight months, and we both know this. I think it's best for both of us if I just keep walking. Fighting the urge to look back at her. No don't look back, we need to keep moving forward.
Stop, turn around and look! Hearing my own voice telling me what to do, in my mind. This is strange! Why do I feel like a robot made to follow orders on command? Observing myself immediately stop and turn around. Viewing out of my own eyes as if they were windows looking into this world. Behind these lenses I see Hannah for the first time. I feel and sense her own internal struggles. She's just as confused by how she feels about us. How am I able to know all this? It's creeping me out, when did I become a mind reader?
"Go to her!" Hearing the voice giving me directions again. Not only can I hear the voice. I can feel it nudging me to walk over and sit beside her. Hannah's back is turned to me as she looks off in the distance. She doesn't even notice my presents, as I take a seat on the rock right next to her.
"Hannah, I am sorry! This relationship is feeling heavy and confusing us both. I really thought we could have a fun lighthearted relationship. I made sure to ask Bennett if you would be interested in dating someone that was leaving in a few months. Do you know what He told me? These were his exact words, Hannah only dates guys from out of state. She likes to keep it light and have fun.
There was a reason I asked. Before I left home my mom made it very clear I would be coming back soon. She told me not to steal any hearts while you're gone. And I quote it would not be fair to leave someone behind brokenhearted!" Placing my hand on hers to show I care. I Intentionally make sure to leave out the second part of our conversation. where my mom told me not to go falling for anyone while I was gone.
"Oh, don't you worry Calvin, my heart is safe! I'm not stupid and I refuse to be known as a sucker in my own school! You know what I mean, right?" Irritated I Remove my hand from under his. Why did he tell me about what his mom said? Unless he's beginning to think I was falling for him! The truth is I never planned on it in the first place.
I think I may be possessive of my things. This situation reminds me of how I didn't like to share my Ken doll. I didn't love that doll, I just hated watching other little girls play with him! That's it, Calvin is like my Ken doll. That's why I really dislike the idea of sharing him with all the other girls. Glad I figured that out!
"Hey Hannah, don't you play innocent with me. You are no better than me. Every day someone tells me they caught you flirting or hugging another guy. I bet you didn't know at least twice a day I get asked by a random person at school if we are still together. You are confusing these people by the way you act. For example, when my classmates saw you being carried away like a sack of potatoes today. They made sure to inform me right away.
Hannah, you have a big charismatic personality, but so do I. It's just who we are. That's why I can deal with it and just shrug them off. I also know you don't mean anything by it." Turning my head to the side to break the connection of her gaze. For some odd reason I'm worried about her trying to read my thoughts. Like I had read hers earlier by accident. Except I sense she might know how to do it naturally.
"Why must we both be so damn charismatic! I can see your point, I come off as flirtatious and so do you!" Getting up from the rock and dusting off my behind. Feeling better now that I know where Calvin's heads at. He had made a good point about my own actions. How could I defend myself when it was the truth! I am as bad as he is. I just couldn't see it in me. Until Calvin shined a spotlight on me.
Jenni was right! Honestly, I'm scared at what else I might end up discovering about myself in this connection. I give him a smile letting him know I am no longer playing defensive. He smiles back and takes my hand as we stroll down the green belt. Thinking about what flavor of ice cream I should get.
"I'll admit Hannah, when another guy looks at you, I don't get jealous. I take it as a compliment. I know it sounds cocky but it's true for most men! Now on the other hand when I hear your girl is being carried over some guys' shoulder out of the school, that pisses me off a little! You can see how that would bother me right? A guy taking a glance at you is normal. I hate it when guys flirt with you, especially when they know you're with me. Something I will never be ok with and where I draw the line is another guy touching you!" Desiring to hold her close to my body again, sliding my arm around her waist. Hoping she feels comfortable with my actions.
Calvin boy, do you have me spinning my wheels. I wish it didn't feel so good to be held close to him! While feeling disappointed in myself, I couldn't fight the urge to lay my head against his shoulder. We walked along together like this in silence, until we reached Ruby's Ice cream. Waiting in the lengthy line, we had time to study the menu. Before we reached the order counter.
"Yummy, I am going to have the Peppermint stick with hot fudge, whipped cream, chocolate sprinkles and a cherry on top!" Excited and filled with joy. Listening to fun ice cream shop music. I couldn't help but do a little head bopping and dancing in line. Egging Calvin on, too join me in the fun, making silly faces at him. He plays along pretending to play the air guitar. Really hamming it up entertaining everyone in line.
"We should hike up the hill after this, it's the quickest way to get to my house from here." Wanting her to come back to my house, knowing how she felt earlier. I think Nina and I can finish our project over the phone without any flirting. Which should convince Hannah that she has nothing to worry about. Now, all I need to do is convince myself the same!
Finally, we reached the counter and placed our order. Within a couple of minutes, the lady served me a bowl of deliciousness topped with a cherry. Calvin reached into his pocket and pulled out a 10-dollar bill to pay for our order, before being handed his boring vanilla cone.
"For a person with such a larger-than-life personality, you sure do have a boring taste in ice cream! Lucky for you, I wore my Air walks! Now you won't have to break your back carrying me up that great big hill. Let's hurry so you can get your homework done sooner. Then we can enjoy the rest of the night chilling at Tom's house." Enjoying our ice cream as we made our way up the big hill.
Standing right outside Calvin's house, I'm beginning to get nervous. I have never been alone with a boy I have dated before. I hope he lied, and his family is home. Pretending everything is cool I finish the last bites of my sundae.
"Hey Hannah, you know what taste good with Vanilla ice cream?" I gave her no time to answer, playfully bopping the side of her nose with ice cream. She stands still as if she was a deer caught in the headlights.
Widening my eyes revealing the displeasure. Calvin gives me a cocky side smile being the charmer that he is. Inching closer to my face as if he was going to kiss me. Then right before our lips meet, he pulls a fast one on me. Using the tip of his tongue he licks the ice cream off my nose. Did he really think I would be ok with him licking my nose? Like a dog! Eww!
"Gross that's nasty Calvin, don't do that again!" Shaking my entire body, showing how repulsive his actions were to me. I haven't told anyone, but I think other people's saliva is gross, especially on my skin. It all started with my mom and Meme' licking their fingers to clean my face as a child. That is why I don't go around kissing every cute boy I see.
Damn, she's pissed off at me! Trying so hard to hold back my laughter, a chuckle sneaks out. Noticing how cute she looks when she is upset. Hoping to make amends, I use the cuff of my flannel shirt to wipe and dry her nose.
"There is that Better? Come here!" Trying to be cute backfired on me. I guess not all girls like being licked. I thought it was supposed to be romantic, like in the movies. Opening my arms for a hug. Hannah glares at me grudgingly.
Changing her tune, she gives me a smirk and leaps into my arms. Taking the empty ice cream dish in her hand, she places it on top of my hat. Getting her revenge as she giggles at the sight of melted ice cream drops dripping down my face! I can't say I was surprised by her actions; she keeps me on my game. It's not like I care; I got what I wanted and more. Not only is Hannah in my arms but her legs are wrapped around my waist.
Hannah's eyes radiate, a loving soul. They have me hypnotized; I'm having a hard time resisting the urge to kiss her. Not wanting to let Hannah go, I Carry her up the front stairs of the house. Taking extra precautions, I glanced over at the driveway to see if there were any cars. I need to be careful; I don't want to get caught bursting through the front door holding Hannah in my arms. Awesome, the coast is clear, no cars mean no adults are home!
While I Fumble around in my pockets for the keys. She playfully teases me with her eyes as she bites the bottom of her kissable lips. Finding my keys I unlocked the door carrying Hannah into the house. We kiss from the front door all the way to my room. Tenderly I laid her down on my bed. Feeling an intense passion that continues to build by the minute. My only thought right now is kissing every inch of her!
Hope you enjoyed this episode! I'm diving deep into each character's mind and feelings.
In the next episode, we'll see just how far Calvin and Hannah take things, and what happens when Nina hears from Calvin. We'll also explore Janet and Jay's relationship. Expect drama, drama, and more drama, but with plenty of laughter & heart throughout the story.
We'll connect with these characters on a deep, meaningful level, perhaps even learning something about ourselves or those we know along the way.
May you have great thoughts filled with love and compassion as you express your truth! Have a self-loving, fulfilling week, and always remember to be good to yourself!
DISCLAIMER This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, business, events and incidents are the products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Copyright © 2021, 2022,2023,2024,2025 by Hetza E. All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.