âHey, Osiris!â I greeted my fellow-undead husband, and gave him a hug.
He looked confused, as usual, and stumbled away from me after our hug had ended.
Life as a zombieâ¦
Life as the only zombie I knew of who hadnât lost their damn mind!
Iâll rewind real quick for yaâ¦
Us inhabitants of Earth had finally managed to find another habitable planet, but had also decided to treat the natives there like Columbus had treated the Native Americans.
It turned out that they were really powerful, and decided to kill all humans who were on Earth in response.
By âkill,â I mean that they unleashed some sort of gas all around the world, and it caused all humans to become zombies. Like me!
Well⦠Mostly like Osiris, actuallyâ¦
None of us require food or drink or anything like that, but nobody seems to have much of a brain either. Iâm the only person who Iâve run into who still knows how to talk, and thus the only person who understands me is me!
I imagine that there must be more people whoâve kept their ability to talk and whatnot, but I only know of me. So, yeah⦠I guess us Earthlings arenât much of a threat to anybody else in the universe now. Hell, weâre probably much less of a threat to our own planet now.
Maybe our zombification was a good thing!
Suddenly!, Osiris meandered back towards me, and said, âAakifa! Whatâs going on? Why didnât Earl and Sandy understand me when I asked them whatâs going on? And, whatâs that weird smell?â
âOsiris!â I beamed, and planted a big wet kiss on his lips, which he was quite cheerfully receptive to, âEarth got gassed because we of how we decided to ?!$$ off the wrong aliens. Iâve been able to talk and whatnot the entire time, but most people havenât been able to. Iâm so glad to have you back!â
âWeirdâ¦â he said, with a frown on his face, âI wonder why some people get affected and sooooooommmmmmm-â and, to my great dismay!, my dear sweet husband suddenly went back to being the sort of zombie who heâd been just a few minutes ago! Dammit! I sure was glad that Iâd at least managed to share a kiss with him while heâd been in lights-on mode for a moment, because Iâd really missed being able to do that. I only hugged him when he was in lights-off mode, because kissing someone who seemingly couldnât understand what romance even was just didnât seem either desirable or right.
My shortly-lived conversation-and-romance with my beloved Osiris was filling me with hope now!, though; and I said a quick prayer that there would be many more lights-on times for my husband in the future!
Whatever weird gas it was that had essentially stopped us human Earthlings in our tracks seemed to be quite a bit more complicated than simply a lights-out zombification drug, and something deep inside of my soul told me that my dear Osiris would be capable of both speaking and being my lover again before longâ¦