â DAMIANO â
If there's one thing i hate in this world, it's hospitals.
The constant ring of the reception telephone putting me on edge, staff rushing from one place to another, and the utterly depressing waiting room.
It's like i'm anticipating bad news before i have even set foot in the building...
I can't help but feel like this entire situation is my fault. If i had never roped Rori into our petty feud, and if i had never lost my temper and threatened Zephaniah, we wouldn't be sitting here right now.
At the same time, i still stand by my belief that involving Rori was the only chance i had at forcing Zephaniah to confess his crimes. But if i had any idea there would be use of a gun, i surely wouldn't have.
This is the only time the two of us have ever been remotely quiet in one another's presence and, in fact, we have not spoken once since we arrived.
After shooting Rori, he was too stunned to do anything at first. Only when her eyes began to close did he pull himself together, alerting the paramedics of our sister's condition.
Her eyes were closed for what felt like a matter of minutes, but could only be around thirty seconds, and i had seriously worried. I didn't know how to deal with someone who had been shot, but i assumed violently shaking them was not a good idea, and so i was glad when she opened her eyes a few moments later.
She had fainted, i believe, but we were lucky she even woke up.
"I can't breathe," Rori cried out, clinging onto me like her life depended on it.
I knew she would require medical attention within the next ten minutes, otherwise we would risk her dying in my arms, but i wasn't sure where the nearest ambulance service was, and it made me panic a little.
I could see blood oozing from the left of Rori's waist. I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, so, in my most gentle tone of voice, i asked, "May i lift the bottom of your shirt? I'm not going to touch you. I just need to see where it hurts."
I realised that i was speaking to her as if she were a toddler who had just tripped up while chasing after a butterfly, and not a teenager who had been hit by a bullet, but i figured i shouldn't draw attention to the severity of the situation.
Rori nodded, and i could tell even that action was difficult for her to do. Slowly, and with great concentration, i lifted the shirt up a few inches, cursing at the sight i was met with.
The bullet was wedged inside the left of her waist, and, even though i did not touch the surrounding area, Rori continued to wince from the pain.
My attempts to calm her down were of little use. I was level headed in pretty much every situation, no matter how stress inducing, but i had never dealt with something quite like this before.
I had never felt as though someone else's life was in my hands, and it was truly terrifying.
Nevertheless, i put on a brave face for my newfound baby sister and removed my expensive cashmere sweater, using it to apply pressure to the wound so she wouldn't bleed out.
"I can't breathe," she cried out once more.
I believed that her shortness of breath was not only induced by the bullet, but by herself.
"I know it hurts, Rori, but i need you to try and take deep breaths for me. The paramedics will be here in no time, and they'll do a much better job at taking care of you. I promise," i attempted to reassure her.
This seemed to lull her a little, as she began to try and control her breathing, only making a few distressed sounds here and there, which made me feel all the more useless and guilty.
I desperately wanted to ask her what on earth was going through her mind when she stepped in the firing line, but it was obviously not the time or place.
Rori was rushed to hospital by ambulance, and, despite the fact we did not want to be anywhere near each other, i insisted that Zephaniah travel in my car.
I think it goes without saying, i didn't trust that he would be safe behind a wheel after shooting his sister.
Even now, after three hours of waiting, and three hours of pacing back and forth, we have not spoken so much as one word to each other.
I do not know where to start.
But, as if sensing my thoughts, Zephaniah speaks a moment later, the sound of his voice even startling me a little.
"I should call Xavi," he muses.
"We haven't heard anything yet..." i point out.
He turns to face me with an expression that can only be described as focused.
"Exactly," he says. "We've been waiting here for three hours and seven minutes, and we haven't so much a clue as to what is going on. I ought to sue this place," he continues, before remarking, "I reckon i will sue this place."
"We know she's in surgery," i remind him. "It takes a while, at the end of the day."
"It takes approximately one hour to remove a bullet. Not three," he argues.
"There's still more to be done," i remind him.
"Yes, yes, believe me, i know. I've been in her shoes. Quite a few of us have. But they ought to fill us in every half hour. This is utterly ridiculous. It's a good thing i never invested in this hospital. Next time, i'm bringing my lawyer," he rants.
Zephaniah, although rattled, does not conduct himself in a such a way that he appears nervous. He simply comes across as fed up, and i suppose less sociopathic than usual.
"At the end of the day, i need to prepare my siblings for the worst," he says.
My breathing hitches, my eyes widening momentarily.
"She's going to be okay," i attempt to reassure him, though i know it is stupid to do so given the condition we last saw her in.
"She better be." this time he looks at me as if it was me who pulled the trigger, and what's more is that i almost believe i did.
"I won't call Xavi," he decides. "And i certainly won't call Yakov," he adds with a grimace. "It'll have to be Vinnie."
"Which one is that?" i ask, awkwardly scratching my stubble.
He gives me a look that shows no patience for my stupidity and, despite me being older, you can tell he is used to giving such looks to his younger siblings.
"It's not that hard to do the alphabet backwards, is it now?" he speaks to me as though he is speaking to a four year old.
I level him with an authoritative glare, which he of course pays no mind to.
"I can barely recite the English alphabet as it is," i point out.
"Not my fault," he retorts, but eventually explains, "Vinnie is seven years younger than me. He's at least sane in comparison to Yakov and Xavi...and don't even get me started on Wyatt..."
I narrow my eyes at him.
Trusting Zephaniah's judgement is the last thing i want to do but, at the end of the day, i am out of my depth in this scenario, considering the only siblings i have met thus far are Zephaniah, Yakov, and Rori.
"I think it's time that Lorenzo knows what's going on," i say.
"No," Zephaniah instantly responds. "He does not need to know."
"Contractually, he does," i point out. "He is the head of our family; Rori his sister. A ty, yego brat, sluchayno ili net, zastrelil yeye."
"He is the head of your family and i am the head of mine," Zephaniah insists. "I eto byl neschastnyy sluchay, mudak. YA tselilsya v tebya."
I sigh, shaking my head in resignation.
"I will inform Lorenzo as soon as we find out what is going on with her," i tell him. "You can inform Vincent as you please."
Zephaniah continues to stare at me, clearly not used to being second in command.
"If you think i will allow him a place in my siblings' life, you are surely mistaken," he says. "The kids do not need new people in their life. Especially not new siblings. They have plenty."
"The kids have every right to know about the inner workings of our family. The privileges as well as the drawbacks," i argue. "And why deny them a relationship with their family?"
"Why deny them a relationship with their family?" he repeats, his tone derisive. "You said it yourself; i have a habit of screwing things up. As did my parents. The kids were only beginning to get used to the fact Yakov and i are once again in their lives, and you want them to now travel half way across the world to meet a group of strangers? I know what's good for them. Lorenzo doesn't. Nor you."
Despite my disagreement, i am willing to appease him. If not for the sake of his siblings', then for the sake of our peace.
"I will express how you feel to Lorenzo but, ultimately, whatever he wants will be what happens..."
Zephaniah is not happy with this outcome, but, thankfully, makes no further comment.
For the next five minutes, we resume our silence, sitting side by side in the dreaded waiting room. Our mannerisms are somewhat similar, as we sit here, looking as calm as ever, but i can't help but wonder what thoughts are running through his mind.
I might have only met Rori one month ago, and cannot say we share a bond of any kind, but she is still my sister when all is said and done; just a little girl, who has done nothing to deserve the harm that has come her way.
...Zephaniah stands up as soon as he spots a nurse heading in our direction, and, by the look on her face, i'd say they've already met.
"Who's this?" she asks him, as she eyes me with suspicion.
"No one important," he answers without hesitation.
I glare at him from the corner of my eye, him still facing the nurse, and, as i stand up, hold my hand out for her to shake.
"Damiano Antonelli," i tell her, and her curious eyes linger on me as we greet each other.
"Nurse Jones," she tells me, furrowing her eyebrows in thought. "I recognise that name..."
I try not to sport a smug look as i hear Zephaniah scoffing from beside me, but i'm only human after all.
"I understand you're looking after my sister," Zephaniah begins, and the woman nods, somewhat sympathetically. "I must see her."
Nurse Jones sighs, and her eyes soften as they look into Zephaniah's.
"She's only recently left the operation theatre," she reveals. "She's still extremely weak. It's likely that she'll have to undergo a second blood transfusion if things don't pick up."
Zephaniah tilts his head to the side, not at all impressed by the news.
"We have been waiting here for over three hours, Ms Jones," he emphasises.
"It was pretty much all hands on deck, Mr Åabanowski. There was simply no time," she confesses. "I can only offer my sincerest apology."
"It's not good enough," he dismisses her. "My sister is conscious, no? I demand to see her."
The nurse turns to face me once more, as if asking for my help, but her attention returns to Zephaniah when she says, "She insists that she does not want to see you," once again, she glances at me, "either of you..."
Neither one of us speak for a few moments. I do not note a drastic change in Zephaniah's expression, but i acknowledge the way he swallows the lump in his throat, as if disbelieving her words.
"Well, what did you expect, Zeph?" i ask him, aloud, causing him to send a harsh glare in my direction.
"She cannot be alone while she is going through this," he tells Nurse Jones. "She must want one of her brothers to be by her side."
Nurse Jones shakes her head, and offers him a tight-lipped smile as if to say, 'I'm just the middleman.'
"She claims she wants to be alone," the woman says, with an apologetic shrug.
This time, Zephaniah shakes his head, as he says, "No. That doesn't sit right with me. She is fifteen years of age. Let her know that i will join her, or i will ensure one of my brothers will."
For once, i nod my head in agreement. No one should be alone when going through what she is; least of all a child.
It appears Zephaniah's judgment can be sensible.
"As you wish," Nurse Jones says.
Only once she disappears do we sit back down, and i take a moment to remind him of our previous conversation.
"Now is a good time to call your brother, don't you think?" i encourage him.
He sighs.
"There will never be a good time. I can't possibly predict his reaction, and yet, usually, i have no problem with doing so."
"He will not react well, if that is what you want to hear," i tell him. "But there is no point in prolonging the inevitable. I must inform Lorenzoâ"
"I should be present when you call him," he interjects. "After all, you will only fabricate the story. Just like you did when you manipulated my sister."
Zephaniah obviously does not know about the incident in which i used to blackmail his sister, and i am not about to tell him.
That is for Rori to tell, in her own time, preferably when she has returned to full health again.
...I had almost forgotten about the reason as to why we ended up here; the fact that i threatened Zephaniah with death, after reassuring Rori that i wanted anything but that.
What i said in the car was true, though. I never intended to bring such harm to Zephaniah. Or his family, for that matter.
But as soon as he opened his mouth and started defaming my character in such a vicious way â as soon as he made such low and spiteful digs â all my morals temporarily abandoned me.
I will forever regret losing my cool like that. After all, it does not happen on a regular basis and it certainly does not happen for no reason.
Zephaniah may have a soft spot for his sister, but his betrayal knows no bounds when it comes to the rest of us.
He didn't intend to kill me when he pulled out that gun, that is for sure. But the fact that he so carelessly did â harming his sister in the process â tells me everything i need to know.
Zephaniah will stop at nothing if it means he ends up victorious...
My jaw clenches, and i remind myself not to take the bait. I am surely not about to parade our family drama for the world to see.
Instead, i offer him a tight-lipped smile.
My patience truly is being tested when it comes to this man...said everyone who has ever had the displeasure of meeting him.
"I think that is a good idea. Your presence will make things a lot easier for all of us," i respond, much to his surprise.
"I'm glad we can agree on something," he says, though his eyes tell a different story. "I'm going to head outside before i call my brother. Do you have a light?" he grunts.
"I don't smoke, so no," i answer, and he half-heartedly rolls his eyes before heading towards the nearby exit.
Not even a few seconds after Zephaniah has left, i notice Nurse Jones approaching once more.
She looks half-relieved that Zephaniah is nowhere to be seen, but also slightly on edge.
"Nurse," i greet her, bowing my head with respect.
"Mr Antonelli..." she begins, awkwardly. "For obvious reasons, i do not know the full details of Ms Åabanowski's case, but i can tell you that she is not in a good place right now."
I swallow the lump in my throat.
"Might i ask you to explain exactly what it is you mean?" i say.
"Given the circumstances, Rori has done exceptionally well. There's some mild vascular trauma which shouldn't require any surgery. However, we underestimated just how much blood she lost before undergoing surgery, so the doctor is dealing with that now," this time, her expression turns more serious. "More importantly...Rori seems to be remembering certain things...and reciting them...We wondered if you would know anything about that?"
My eyebrows furrow in confusion, a wave of unease passing through me.
"What sort of things?" i ask.
She looks hesitant to tell me, as if it is not her place to do so, and i feel even more concerned.
"After surgery, when she woke, she was quite distressed...She claimed that she couldn't breathe, and that she was having visions..."
The woman's words immediately remind me of how Rori reacted earlier on, after she had passed out in my arms. How she said she couldn't breathe, and i had thought nothing more than it being both the shock of being shot and the impact of the bullet itself.
"She said that, in these visions, she was being drowned by a man who vaguely resembled her father..."
I pause before answering, taking a minute to gather my thoughts.
"I know Rori has been through a lot, but i'm not sure about anything like that," i say, and Nurse Jones nods, sympathetically.
"The meaning of these things aren't always obvious," she says. "Sometimes, repressed trauma resurfaces through dreaming of an event that might not have even happened. And, in cases like this, visions of drowning might indicate that she is going through significant emotional turmoil...Don't get me wrong, it could be nothing. It could be the fact she has just been shot and is a tad delirious. But, as someone who has, in the past, behaved similarly to the way Rori is right now, i'd say it's worth looking into," she advises. "It really seemed as though this affected her, and that she was reluctant to tell me, so i'd say that's even more reason to investigate," she adds, along with a small, friendly smile.
"I'll let Zephaniah know," i tell her. "He knows her far better than i do."
She smiles once more, and then waits, as if she has something else to say.
"Is that all?"
She sighs, nodding.
"Rori still insists on being on her own, and, if that's okay with you and Zephaniah, i will make sure she is in safe hands...Also, i do not know of your relation to this family, nor is it my place to know, but, if i were you, i'd stay close during times like this. That little girl is going to need all the support she can get. And, knowing Zephaniah, he will too."
(Edited)
A/N: Rori is literally my baby.
Before anyone gets ahead of themselves, i can assure you that Rori's fixation on being drowned, or witnessing someone else being drowned, is not a direct form of PTSD. Henryk never tried to drown her, nor did her father, or Zephaniah, or anyone else, for that matter. But, like the wise Nurse Jones implied, Rori's past and current traumas are manifesting themselves into this particular nightmare sequence.
There's actually a lot of interesting meanings behind visions of drowning, and i'll attach a link below incase nerds like me want to read up on it.
https://www.thecut.com/article/dreams-about-drowning.html
I, personally, cannot recall ever experiencing dreams of drowning, but it has always intrigued me.
That's not to say that if you have dreams like this you should be worrying, as everyone has strange and obscure dreams and every dream can mean multiple things. It's just about how you choose to interpret it.
This has already been such a long tangent, so i will keep this next part short. I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, despite it being shorter than usual. There will most likely be a different POV in the next one, and there is still lots to unfurl.
As soon as my homework is out of the way, i will begin working on the next chapter. I love you lots and i will see you in the next one xxx.