When I woke up, Dad's film was over and the TV was instead showing infomercials through the night. My eyes focused in on the screen after a few bleary, blurry moments of blinking myself awake, and I tried to carefully pry myself off the couch, away from Dad. I was still in the dress Summer had picked out, but I was super warm from having been resting against Dad's side all evening. He was radiating heat as if he were a human hot water bottle, and as I peeked up at his face, I realised he was still dozing.
I smiled and resisted the urge to spook him awake as payback for being such a dork earlier. He'd been very kind about my downer of a date, so I felt like he didn't really deserve it. This time, at least.
Instead, I cautiously stood up, trying not to make the cushions move too much in case they stirred him. I grimaced when I noticed the faint smear of my lipstick on his shirt, but... that was a problem for future Jess and future Dad, I decided.
I grabbed my purse and tiptoed upstairs, hoping our floorboards wouldn't creak too much as I went. Back in my room, my first instinct was to throw myself down on the bed dramatically, but honestly? Dad had already kind of talked me down from that ledge. Sure, it hadn't been a great date, but I kept trying to remind myself that it hadn't been a real date, either. I'd been so over-hyped for it, I'd fooled myself. And, okay, Summer's enthusiasm had been highly contagious too, but I couldn't blame her. She'd only wanted the best for me.
With Summer on my mind, I reached for my phone. Nine missed calls. Oh, boy.
I typed out a text for her.
NINE missed calls? why are you so obsessed with me???
Summer replied near-immediately.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME JESSICA
I smiled, despite not really wanting to. I knew where this was leading, and it wasn't going to be fun.
i'm getting a restraining order, I typed back.
Again, she was lightning quick to reply, and I knew she was sat focusing on her phone like I was. Of course, Summer was awaiting a full debrief of the evening, whereas I was desperately trying to distract and deflect her attention.
good, i can focus on my real best friend, Summer replied. your dad, she clarified, in a second text. who actually replies to my texts in a TIMELY MANNER, she continued, in a third.
you two are a waking nightmare, what if i started hanging out with YOUR parents
please do, they need more friends, she replied.
way harsh, sum
i'm just kidding!!! they have their wine and cheese nights now
There was a little pause in which I reached for the pack of make-up wipes that lived in the drawer of my bedside table. I yanked one out and started to wipe away all of mine and Summer's hard work from earlier, the little white piece of fabric turning into a beige and pink masterpiece, with little black smears of eyeliner and mascara as the finishing touches.
My phone buzzed again as I balled up the wipe and tossed it in the direction of the trash, missing by a few inches.
SO... you kissed!!! she smooched you right on the lips!!!!!
It kind of hurt to read. Summer's effervescent cheerleading combined with the disappointing reality made for a potent cocktail of mixed feelings. My fingertips hovered over the letters on the keyboard as I tried to find the right words.
Eight or nine sentences were started and swiftly deleted, before eventually I sent the little emoji of a monkey with its hands over its eyes.
Summer sent back five sparkling hearts, rapidly followed up with you guys are absolute #goals
I finally got to have my dramatic moment as I threw myself back against the mattress, drained. I was emotionally spent â I wasn't built for this level of chaos. Dad and I shared the philosophy of being as chill as possible at all times, and my dream girl drama was really messing with that.
I wanted to be sucked up into a black hole and stop existing entirely, because that sounded way better than dealing with this whole tragic mess. Instead, another buzz of my phone reminded me I was still on the hook.
are you guys like.......... official? officially dating? officially girlfriends?
My heart sank further, because not only was the answer no, but now I also didn't even know if I wanted that anymore. The saying is 'never meet your heroes' but honestly? Never meet the object of your subconscious's affections either, because it sucks just as much.
I replied back with a half-truth: i don't know. i guess not? it's too soon
Summer seemed to pause, her response coming back slower than usual.
well i'm sure it's just a matter of time. you know, until you're MRS. very berry
I stared at the words for a long moment before an unexpected laugh escaped me. Between Dad and Summer, moping around was definitely proving to be difficult.
I sent back two bride emojis, then go to sleep, dummy, before I locked my phone and left it face down on the bedside table, resolving to go to sleep myself and worry about this whole disaster in the morning.