I spent a lot of time that evening talking about Summer. Like, a lot. If there had been any lingering doubt surrounding my relationship status with Nora, that evening definitely put it to rest. No one wants to go on a date where the main conversation topic is another girl. Nora probably didn't even want to sit through my babbling as a friend, honestly â it was relentless. But, once the dam broke, it all flooded out of me.
"I'm just upset. Like, we tell each other everything. Why couldn't she tell me she was going to ask you out for me? A heads up would've been nice," I scoffed.
Nora shrugged, spearing a new forkful of pancakes and staying quiet.
"There isn't anything I don't know about Summer. I mean, I know her entire natal chart. She's an Aries moon. Why do I know that? What does that even mean?" I was laughing, but the frustration that simmered beneath the surface was still there, almost tangible. "I know her favorite lip shade, I know her grandparents' super-secret chilli recipe, I know what her third-favorite Hamilton song is-- the list is endless, Nora," I said, exasperated.
"And yet you somehow didn't know she'd do anything to try to make you happy?" Nora said, eyebrows high. She almost looked scared to say it, and she seemed to wince when I found myself speechless, as if she regretted her words.
I stared at her, feeling like the soapbox I'd been on had just been yanked out from under me. It was a good point. A really infuriatingly good point.
I stuttered for a second, then forced out a laugh. "That's not-- okay, well," I paused, ruffling my bangs up and looking away. Summer would have gone to the ends of the Earth for me, and I knew that because I knew I'd have done the same for her.
Summer went behind my back in an attempt to make me happy â just like I'd have done for her, if the opportunity had arisen. If I'd thought Summer's happiness was dependent on her snagging a date with David, I'd have done everything in my power to get him to ask her out, yet I was offended Summer had done the same for me.
Oh, no.
"She was just looking out for you," Nora said, gently. She gestured at me with her fork. "You two are such nerds," she teased. "I can't believe you basically fell out over how much you love each other." She grinned down at her plate, shaking her head.
It took me a long time to absorb that. She wasn't wrong. It was hitting me hard. I had to stop and turn the words over in my mind a few times before I could continue to talk. "We fell out because I'm an idiot," I eventually said, leaning my elbows on the table either side of my plate so I could rest my head in my hands. "It's been... a weird few months," I admitted.
"Ever since I came along and rocked your world?" Nora said, emphasising the awkwardness of her words but thankfully completely teasing.
I laughed, but she was actually sort of right. "I mean, kind of," I shrugged. "It's been-- surreal." I thought about how often the girl in front of me had haunted my dreams, and wondered if anyone else out there had had the same problem. The Very Berry commercials were clearly too effective â eerily memorable.
"We spent so much time," I continued, "just-- trying to figure out what your deal was, and how to ask you out and..." I stopped, starting to feel I was saying too much. "This is so embarrassing," I muttered, pointedly dealing with the pancake stack in front of me so I had something to do and something to keep my stupid mouth busy.
"Okay, that's pretty cute, actually," Nora chuckled. "Were you, like, fangirling over me this whole time?"
And now I was sure I'd said too much. I could feel my face getting warm.
"Jess!" Nora almost squealed. She cackled a laugh. "You could've just asked for an autograph," she said, her smirk grating my last nerve. Still, I was feeling so much better now than I had been pre-pancakes, so she got away with it while I blushed deeper.
"I'm, um. Head of the fan club, actually," I mumbled out, still beyond embarrassed, but I knew the only way I could deal with it would be to joke my way out of the hole I'd dug.
Nora laughed, throwing her head back. "This is too much," she grinned at me, something proud in her expression. "I thought I'd struggle to make friends here, y'know? But oh, man. Shit, even David's cool," she chuckled.
"He's not bad," I said, kind of wishing he wasn't. "I'm still surprised he might actually be a boyfriend-shaped permanent fixture."
"Oh, uh," Nora shook her head. "I'm not so sure about that," she smirked.
When I cocked my head, she elaborated.
"I mean, maybe. Like, okay, Summer didn't say anything about them breaking up or whatever, but... I'm feeling way more Team Jess about this than Team David," she laughed. "It's kind of the most obvious thing ever. She would totally ditch him for you."
I was tongue-tied, watching her nonchalantly pop the last bite of her pancakes into her mouth, as if she hadn't just dropped a huge bombshell on me and my life.
"We're still joking, right? Like, I'm head of your fan club, you think Summer's about to break up with David for my idiotic ass?"
Nora rolled her eyes. "Number one, super disappointed to hear that the fan club thing isn't real," she grinned. "Number two, duh? Have you even seen how she looks at you?"
I couldn't believe Nora was actually being serious about this.
"Like, I agreed to go out with you partially because you're hella cute and it was totally worth a shot, but also because I low-key thought somewhere along the way you'd realise that what you were trying to have with me was what you already have with Summer." She shrugged, as if all of this was obvious. "I didn't think it'd implode before we even got to like... actually date, but whatever."
I looked down at the half-eaten pancakes, drained.
"Look, I don't know how you guys feel about other, obvi. But I gotta say, it's like... she's an Aries moon, Jess." Nora's grin was wide and playful, and it only grew when I gave her a curious look. "You know everything about her. You care about her a ton. You get this weird, salty look on your face whenever anyone talks about David. Put two and two together, my dude."