Chapter 9: chapter 9

ch-9 old memoriesmy fear.... my terror.... it all began therewhen I was 14 years old. Our family did not had enough money. my parents were worried about me. so my mom started doing a job of a babysitter for me. it was a normal day. everything was going alright until my mom...my..she...she died in a car accident..... I was in a trauma and so my dad too. he loved his wife. he was not able to lay hold of all this happening . first of all he was worried for me, secondly he was emotional for mom. he became weak. everything started to fall apart. I left my school because we did not had enough money.i started doing mom's job. one day I came late. and.... and when I came at home. I saw.... I saw something unbelievable. my father was hanging. bloo. blo...blood was tripping from his toes and neck. he had committed suicide. he left a note for me. it was written that... " madi I love you. i am sorry i left you but I can't live without your mom. I am going away. madi. there is one last wish of mine that is I failed from life but you can't."I was screaming in pain. everything had been over. my father, my mom, there was no one else in this world. I wanted to suicide but I couldn't because of my father's last wish. he left easily but left me to fight on my own. so I started earning money at a shady restaurant that was enough for me. but life was not so easy for me. people started making rumours about me. they said that I've..I have killed my father. some said that I poisoned him. some people even made assumptions that I killed both my parents . life was starting to become difficult for me. I began to have  panic attacks, I was in depression in a young age. I wanted to die but I couldn't. I.... I stopped having social interactions. loud noises gave me attacks. people asking me questions was my biggest fear. I lived this way for 5 years until I moved to a different place and started doing photography course and this is how I ended up here.