âAshley, get up! You need to go! Now!â
âGo Ashley! Run!â
âWhat are you doing?! Go!â
I zoned out again. Their voices pushed to the back of my mind, the dirt under my knees cutting into me as I pushed the locket into my chest. I kept letting people down.
âAshley, you need to run! Get up, leave him behind!â Wind and dust picked up and clouded my vision further. They were approaching, swift footsteps echoing through the desolate plains. Eyes locked onto my locket, something in my head, no, my body, chained me to the floor. Like a tortured prisoner, I was stuck, unable to move yet fully aware of my danger. I was going to die.
Your voice echoed through the crowd.
Go! Now! Snapping back, I looked at you one last time as you disappeared into the crowd, I ran as if my life depended on it. I suppose in this case, it did. We saw the city in the distance and kept running. If we could make it back, weâd be safe.
âFuck! Damn it!â Amos beating himself up already, I knew it was going to hit him hard. Although I was feeling worse. Through tears and sand kicking up into my face, I clutched the locket into myself and screamed the voices of despair from my heart the whole way back; not once did I dare to look back. Managing to make it to the border, we hopped over the fence and barely avoided getting our ankles grabbed. Heavy breathing and muffled crying dominated over the screams of what was chasing us.
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âAshley, I think youâd better find your own way from now on.â Amos didnât make eye contact with me but his words cut deeper than any wound I wouldâve endured if I stayed.
âNow hold on, donât even think about blaming her for what just happened. Weâre all here, weâre all safe.â Coming to my rescue, Yvonne chimed in before I had the chance.
âNo! We arenât!â Even Amos began trying to hold back his tears. Through a false mask of masculinity, he was just as scared as the rest of us.
âIâm⦠sorry.â My voice was soft and broken.
Donât tell me he kept yelling. He did. Fucking Amos, Iâm sorry about him, Ash.
âNo need to be sorry, donât worry about him.â Luka decided to rescue me, too. Although I didnât ask for it, Iâm not gonna act like I didnât appreciate it.
âShut the fuck up, Luka!â No fucking way he shouted at Luka. I couldnât believe it either. Yvonne became scary, as she does when Lukaâs upset.
âAmos youâd better back the fuck down before I decide to make you.â Never seen her react like that. Believe me, it was terrifying; mustâve been terrifying to him too, âcause he stopped as quickly as heâd started. A defeated look washed over his face and he began to pace.
âItâs ok, Ashley. It wasnât your fault.â Those words, that phrase, it echoed through my head and honestly, it still does. âIt wasnât your fault.â But what if it was? If I was quicker would you still be here? Ashley, don't worry about that. If I wasnât on my ass, frozen with fear, could I have saved you? Please st- If I wasnât so god damn useless youâd still be here. Itâs not your fault, Ashley. So why does it replay in my head like a broken record? Why do I see you in my dreams, begging for me to save you and why do you die every fucking time? Tell me why! ⦠Itâs alright, Iâve accepted it. I love you. You loved me. I still do. Youâre not here to love me! You donât exist!