"We finally got to play actual music," I gushed, leading us out of the auditorium, "A class that tries to be everything ends up being nothing."
Mason hummed his agreement, exiting the auditorium beside me. His jade-green eyes swirled as he gazed at me. The scrutiny made me feel like an animal specimen, but then again, I was conducting studies of my own.
"You're a good violinist," he glanced over at me and the way I held my instrument-case like a baby, "But you're satisfied with a crappy school loaner?"
I gripped the instrument case tighter.
"I didn't mean you any offense," he recovered quickly, reading my expression and the slump of my shoulders a bit too easily for my comfort.
"My violin likely burned."
"Burned?"
"A touchy subject. I lost my mom and brother in that incident."
"Ah."
He had the audacity to furrow his brows.
"I'm allowed to not tell you everything," I insisted, glaring over at him. "That's the exact attitude that made me dislike you, you know."
"Before you even knew me?"
"I know what your... type are like."
I'd almost said 'your kind' and based on the narrow of his eyes, he picked up on that too.
"Would you like to eat lunch outside today?"
"It is warmer," I conceded, pinching the fabric of my dusty-turquoise Henley, "Maybe an Alaskan's standards for warmth are low..."
"Closer to zero than most."
"It'd be nice if the sun came out," I mused.
A small smile twitched into the corners of my lips. The thick, sticky-gray cover out the window was uninterrupted as far as the eye could see.
"Would you like to sit near the trees?"
"We are not going off to make out," I rebuffed, a little anxiety lacing my tone.
"Of course not," he assured, then hesitated, offering a hand experimentally to me.
I stared, blinking, and watched as he held the position.
Seriously?
Well, if I was going to do this vampire-boyfriend ruse properly, I'd have to make some concessions. Hesitantly, as if reaching to touch a slug, I offered my fingers. I heard him chuckle softly, but when I looked to catch the amusement on his face, he'd recomposed. He compromised by simply linking my forefinger with his. The unnatural coolness zinged up through the knuckle of my finger and into my arm, making the joints feel a bit like jelly.
"I think this is fine," he breathed, gauging my reaction with liquid-emerald eyes.
"Yes," my voice shot up an octave.
His touch was comforting. That fact unnerved me. Whenever the others had touched me in passing, I'd felt the knee-jerk instinct to cringe away. Then again, Leo had been an exception as well. I'd still been perturbed when his knee had brushed against mine as we sat cross-legged to watch the ballroom instructional video during last gym class. But the habit of hair-ruffling that he'd picked up had fit to me like a glove, oddly soothing the loss inside me.
Still, this touch with Mason was different. New. It didn't attempt to replace something that was missing like with Leo, instead, it budded tentatively in my chest.
And I hated that.
"Are you alright?"
"Yes, I just... I've never..."
"What? Held hands with someone before?"
"I have," I defended, but the indignation fell flat, "This just feels different."
Mason's lips parted as he watched my face. We halted, moving to one edge of the lobby as a trickle of students passed. I held tighter, attempting to feel the sluggish once-a-minute pulse of his heartbeat through the tip of his finger.
"It does," he finally admitted.
He angled his body toward the lunch room in an unspoken lead. I followed, our fingers still intertwined.
The lunch line didn't seem as long as usual as I stood there, hand mingled with Mason's, quiet despite the friends that had gathered around. It had only been a month since... that day. Had I really been craving affection so terribly? Had my connection with Alissa and Catalina not been enough?
The connection you erased, I reminded myself bitterly.
But no. This was different, I decided. Brief hugs between friends wasn't the kind of comfort I needed.
"You look troubled," Mason noted as we made our way outside. I hadn't relinquished his hand the entire time and had taken all lunch portions single-handedly, even carrying the tray with an expertly balanced palm and hooked thumb. "I told the others that you were zoning out. Kira and Leo helped â told them that we were going to sit by ourselves for our first date â " he rolled his eyes "- as if our first date would be on school-grounds."
"What's wrong with this?" I asked, but my voice still sounded absent, "This forest is nice. I like hiking."
Mason glanced skeptically at the little copse of trees, beyond which the stadium seating for the football field could be seen.
"If we were to go on a hiking date, I'd take you to the National Forest, not some backyard woods," he clarified.
"I like it simple," I said softly as he guided me to a tumble-down set of rocks just on the fringe of outdoor seating.
"I'll keep that in mind."
I relinquished his hand to settle myself onto a chilly rock. When I became aware of my surroundings, I noticed our usual group, headed by Kira, seated at a picnic bench just out of my range of hearing. Leo trailed after, chatting away with Anthony good-naturedly.
"They haven't sat with us before," I noted anxiously, watching as they seated themselves into the throng of humans.
Kira animated, chattering away as if she'd sat with them everyday for the entirety of her high school career. Most of them reciprocated the sentiment; a true testament to her ability to act human... or supernaturally coerce them into thinking this was normal.
"Kira wants to gossip. Just ignore her."
"But it's weird."
"Why?"
I struggled to articulate, "They don't owe her a conversation."
His eyes never wavered from my expression, not even to examine the subject of our conversation. The analysis sent an unwilling blush scurrying up into my face.
"What?" I finally hissed.
"Like I said, you're hard to read," he confessed, taking up the red apple and rolling it around his hands, "Anyway, Kira will be fine. People gravitate toward her when she turns on the charm."
It's not Kira I'm worried about, I thought.
"If you all can just 'turn on the charm' then why don't you?"
"It's mainly a Kira and Leo thing. The rest of us either lack that ability or the enthusiasm to be so outgoing."
It's called 'compulsion', leech, I wanted to spit, don't act like you've never used it.
Though, as I watched Kira talk with them, I noted the way that she neglected to make eye contact for too long. She appeared to simply be talking as opposed to coercing the humans into speaking.
"I'm not particularly adept at insults and mockery, as you've pointed out," I waved a hand with a smug lilt to my voice, "But I suppose that to be my own fault as I don't take the trouble of practicing."
Mason's eyes sparkled, "I should re-apply myself then."
I had made the comment in jest, but did I really want the vampire to be interacting more often with humans?
"But isn't that why we're sitting together?" he posited, glancing over expectantly.
"So I'm just a test?"
"Why couldn't you be both practice and... what is the term... 'endgame' material?"
"You've known of me for about, what, three weeks? Maximum? And you've decided I'm the one for you."
He sobered, the joking light in his eyes simmering-down, "I don't date carelessly, Sara. When I show interest in a woman, I try to picture how my future could look with her in it."
The silver in his eyes churned and frothed, making the green of his irises burn bright as he watched my spluttering reaction.
"Are you just messing around?"
"N-no," I covered my mouth as I cleared my throat and let the embarrassed blush die from my cheeks, "No, I don't mess around with romance. You don't play with fire if you've been seriously burned before."
"Burned? By who?"
He looked about territorially, eyes narrowed.
"Don't be ridiculous. I haven't known anyone here for nearly long enough."
He reigned in his bout of aggression and had the sense to duck his head.
"With the way I've been acting toward you, shouldn't you feel vindicated?"
"The way you act toward me versus the way you act toward others is night-and-day," he said, shaking his head, "I've seen how you talk to Catalina, Alissa, and even Trevor. You're perfectly amiable."
His expression soured, the corner of his mouth twitching downward, and I saw him visibly nip at the inside of his lower lip before meeting my eyes again. A traitorous pang of guilt twisted my gut but I sealed my lips shut.
How did he become a vampire?
The thought bubbled up in Catalina's concerned tone. There wasn't usually any merit to pondering why a vampire was created. Many needed to be put down, regardless of their sob-story.
Had Mason been someone turned against his will? Was he someone who just... wanted to be human again? Was that truly the reason why the Wardes pretended?
You can't just assume something like that because a leech gave you puppy-dog eyes, I reminded myself, You have to know for sure!
"You mentioned that you liked simplicity in relationships," Mason probed, clearly attempting to brush over the tension.
I obliged.
"Relationships shouldn't be made entirely of grand moments," I contemplated with a frown, "If you just manage your expectations in a healthy way, then you can cherish a simple back rub or the trash they take out for you."
"You want me to clean your house for you?" he offered with that infuriating half-smirk.
"Bold of you to assume I'd take you home with me," I snubbed..
He calmed at this, "I'd be fine if you only ever wanted my company. I am infertile, so it's not like sex would ever be productive anyway."
My eyebrows disappeared into my hairline and he backtracked, "Sorry, was that 'TMI'?"
"You sound like an old man when you use words like that," I chuckled weakly, "How does someone so young know he's infertile?"
"I was ill."
"Not an STD?"
"No," he confirmed, "Just something that ravaged me from the inside out."
"Until a doctor confirms that your swimmers are drowners I won't be engaging with you."
"You're acting like protection doesn't exist. You wouldn't want any diseases, would you?"
I raised an eyebrow, skeptical.
"I may be a virgin, but you never know," he chuckled, completely unabashed by his confession, "What if I want to protect myself from you?"
"Fair enough."
"You're not offended?"
"It's not like you called me anything," I huffed, narrowing my eyes, "If you keep pushing the point, I will get offended."
He laughed, low and smooth. The sound tickled my ears and his minty scent crisped at my nose.
"I'm a cautious woman, myself," I admitted quietly, cradling my apple in both hands and inspecting the glossy surface.
"I imagine so," Mason smiled, then blinked, "So you're also a virgin?"
Am I? I wondered.
A squishy pop, the crushing of my apple between my hands, startled me halfway back to reality. The fruit thudded back onto the tray, scattering chicken nuggets. But I was still fuzzy and my body tingled like I'd just vomited.
"You don't need to answer," Mason said quickly.
He scooped the grassy nuggets off the ground and tossed them into the bushes. Something in his face resolved, like a puzzle-piece slipping into place. The expression registered somewhere in my brain, but the numbness overwhelmed any indignation I could muster.
"Would you like to invite Alissa, Catalina, Trevor and Will for an outing this weekend?"
"An... outing," I echoed, still dazed.
"Walking around Soldotna or the Kenai. There's the mall over there. Or maybe we can all see a movie?"
"Mall," I repeated slowly, still staring down at my tray, "I'd... like to buy some clothes."
"Sure," he smiled gently, inclining his head to watch my expression as the mental haze eased its grip on me, "Do you mind if Kira comes with us?"
"That's fine. No more of you though."
"What?"
"What?"
He met my eyes and raised a brow, "Not even Leo?"
"Why?"
"You seem to have taken a liking to him."
"He's in my gym class," I squinted thoughtfully, searching for a lie without finding one. I sighed, "He reminds me of my late older brother... a little."
"What about him?"
"Well they look very similar," I shrugged, "Bruno was - "
Cazzo-! My eyes darted to Mason's then away. Had I really just divulged a family name to this guy? I pressed my lips together, then begrudgingly continued.
"He looked a bit like Leo with the bright eyes and dark, curly hair. They act like carbon copies of each other. Almost. It's... unnerving."
Mason mused on this, an absentminded, half-smile on his lips. He hadn't reacted to my hesitation or the skipping of my heart-rate, but perhaps if I let some tears bead on my lower lids, I could sell the 'it's a touchy subject' angle...
What angle? It's the truth.
I bit my lower lip at that, brow furrowing as the heat welled in my eyes. With it, the darkness at the edge of my mind sought to claim the forefront of my thoughts. But I took a deep breath and the lethal vampiric-mint grounds my focus.
"Anyway, I don't mind Leo, but he's still technically a stranger to me."
"I understand," Mason nodded, running his fingers between each other, "So just me and Kira; sorry, I do have to insist on her presence. She'll never let me hear the end of it if I leave her out of anything."
"Charming."
"That's... one way of putting it," he grimaced, but nodded to my tray, "You should eat."
"So should you."
"Not hungry."
"Me neither."
My stomach growled. He lifted his tray and dumped the contents onto mine, slapping his back down on the ground upside-down.
"You talk, I eat," I ordered, taking a moment to rove my eyes around the lunchyard before taking up the apple.
"What would you like to know?"
"More about your family," I bit out through crunches.
"You've met, or at least seen, everyone aside from my mother," he said slowly, leaning back against the tree behind him, "I suppose the most interesting out of us is my father."
I nodded, covering my chewing mouth with a hand.
"He earned his doctorate at the University of Edinburgh," he smirked, as if enjoying an inside joke, "And came to the United States for a change of pace."
"Oh, he sought out American small-town living?"
"Exactly so. He's an excellent doctor and father. I strive to be like him as much as I can... although I don't share his aptitude for medicine."
He frowned, his eyes tensing for a moment.
"Your mother?" I prompted.
"Claire? She works as a real estate agent wherever we go and flips houses in her free time."
"O-oh..."
Such ordinary occupations. Though the doctor - even with what Mason claimed, with what Catalina said, and what I had witnessed - I still couldn't quite believe a vampire exercised the level of self-control required for a job like that.
"I've seen Dr. Warde in action," I said carefully, focusing my eyes on the nuggets in front of me, "I'm hoping to do a work-study or something of the like and, I was wondering, are there many surgeries that happen at the local hospital?"
"A decent amount of emergency surgery can be done in-house, given my father's capability. Prior to his employment, they would airlift the worst-off patients to the hospitals in Soldotna, or even Anchorage, if needed. They still do for long-term monitoring or for complex procedures."
"It's a small town, how many surgeries tend to happen?"
"My father can perform a decent variety of procedures," Mason hedged, running his fingers along the ridge-dividers of the plastic tray, "If you shadowed him, you'd likely see things related to weight management and heart disease, given the statistics of the area."
"Oh."
"Being a doctor isn't what it's like on television."
"Guess I should be a combat medic then," I suggested, a wry smile alighting my lips, "I don't think I could watch people eat, smoke, and drink themselves to death knowing that there are others bleeding somewhere else in the world."
"You'd join the military?"
"Ah, well, I couldn't fight, so maybe not; to end a human life like that, with my own two hands, it's impossible to accept."
I swallowed hard on that. From the corner of my eye, however, I saw Mason flinch at my words. My eyes narrowed.
"The enemy is the enemy," he recovered, moving a hand slowly to pick at the moss beneath us.
"That's just the problem, isn't it?" I pressed, leaning forward over my crossed legs, "The vast majority of the men fighting are average people like us; that want to be with their families, who might've donated blood, money, or time to good causes at some point or another in their lives. But when they're fighting in opposition to us, any of the good they ever amounted to means nothing."
"What about people who enjoy the bloodshed?"
His eyes grew dark.
"That's very rare, you know," I objected, shaking my head, "True psychopaths? Sociopaths? And violent ones at that; many with the diagnosis don't exhibit murderous tendencies or a penchant for gore."
"Not all who enjoy the blood of others are people with a possible psychiatric diagnosis."
Ain't that the truth, I wanted to bite out, but trapped the snark, "Still, that's something for humans to deal with among... ourselves."
That last word came out slightly mangled, which earned me a justifiably curious glance.
"Humans?"
"It's up to humans to decide which among us aren't human anymore; humans who relish in the slaughter of others, I'd argue, are closer to monsters than men."
"Yes," his agreement nearly cut across me and his eyes blazed, "Yes, I wholeheartedly agree."
"You're a philosophical kind of person," I noted softly and his intensity vanished, washed away by curiosity.
"I'd say so," he agreed, "You'd probably enjoy a discussion with my brother, Sam. He likes to question existence, civilization, the root of evil... the list goes on."
I hummed. A motion in the corner of my eye caused me to stiffen. Kira had perked. Her head slightly tilted in our direction.
"Depends," I mused, interlacing my fingers together, "Does he mind a person who can play devil's advocate?"
"Trust me, Kira's given him plenty of practice," Mason informed me. My eyes slid back to him. He watched his siblings with a softened expression. "They keep each other sharp."
A nasal buzzing rang out over the schoolyard and the student body roused like a startled flock of geese.
"Are you doing anything after school?" he asked, taking up my half-eaten lunch tray.
In answer, my stomach rumbled.