...
°Deanne's POV°
9:10 P. M.
My eyes burn.
Sniffling, I swat at my face, drying the tears, or rather, the traces left behind.
My mind reels, replaying the night's chain of events.
Yuh know mi n'ave nuh head though? What mi really did a think?
My heart feels like it's being crushed in my chest, my throat parched.
I don't know how long I've been sitting here like this, but I know that at some point, I heard Driva's car pull off.
I absentmindedly stare into the dimly-lit room, at the walls.
Eventually, my phone buzzes, snapping me out of my daze. Pulling it from my bag's pocket, I open it and slide the notification bar down, noting the WhatsApp pop-up on the screen.
It's a text from Rickel.
Rickyð: Apple! Yuh good? Mi nuh hear from yuh from evening. U nuh reach home yet?
I sigh, grateful for the distraction. However momentarily. I quickly text back.
Me: Hey. Just reach home. Did a deal with some stuff.
Her response is immediate.
Rickyð: Oh. Sum'n happen? ð Wanna talk about it?
Sigh.
Me: No, nuh really. Soon text yuh back.
Rickyð: Um...OK. Later then.
I can sense the confusion mixed with uncertainty in the tone of her text. I'm not usually the one to give her the cold shoulder, but I honestly just think I need some time to get my thoughts together. Rickel will understand.
Me: ð«¶
I put my phone down and sit there for a moment longer, trying to calm my racing heart. My phone buzzes again. Cho! It's another text. This time, it's from Peya.
Opening it, my brows furrow at the forwarded messages.
Forwarded: Why yuh fren never put Shara name pon the project?
Forwarded: Seriously? She feel like she a smaddy!? From wah day mi nuh know a wah fly up inna her head eno! A come a act like she a saint and nuh love man too! She must stop gwaan like she hype. Har stinking attitude turn mi off!
I roll my eyes. Moesha is always looking for drama. But a thru she nuh know say she a bark up the wrong fucking tree.
Grinding my teeth, I shake my head, at the thought.
When audacity did a give out...!
I quickly switch back to Rickel's chat.
Me: Guess who just texted me complaining about my 'stinking attitude'?
Rickyð: Who? ð
Me: Yuh big fren Moesha, mi luv. Like a she name Cynthia so she can come drape mi bout not putting her cousin name pon group work. Yuh waa hear: 'I act like I don't love man and that I'm too hype.' Murdaaaaaaaaaa ð
Rickyð: She text yuh that?
Me: No, yuh nuh see the gyal a coward a hide her hand. ð A Peya she mussi a text and a chat mi and Peya forward the messages to me.
Rickyð: Seriously!? Kmft. She's so annoying, yo. How she reach inna 6AQ affairs? No, Apple, man. Look like she have a big problem wid yuh!
Me: Clearly.
Me: After mi forget bout this bitch.
Rickyð: So wah Peya answer her say?
Me: I don't know and quite frankly don't care. ð Kmt. Yuh know she naggo show fi her side of the convo.
She a the next hypocrite too. Because why that tough foot bitch feels so comfortable discussing me with her?
Rickyð: Bwoi Mnk. Moesha is sum'n else. She just love stir up trouble.
Me: She lucky mi nuh have her number fi send her go way up under her mother, father, uncle, brother, sister, dog, puss and rat. Sick stomach.
Me: Because wah she mean?
Rickyð: Ignore her, Deanne. She's just jealous because you don't put up with her nonsense. That's all mi can say.
And because mi nuh frighten fi her. Love gwaan like she a bull-buck and duppy conqueror!
I sigh, feeling my temper subside as I read over my bestie's message. Rickel is always the voice of reasoning.
Couldn't be me.
I'm the hot head of the crew.
Which clearly makes some bitches feel threatened.
Me: She lucky mi have yuh fi keep mi grounded. Oh.
Rickyð: Always, girl. Yuh inna mood fi talk now? You sounded off earlier.
I hesitate, but I need to talk to someone about what happened. To save me from drowning in my own thoughts. So, I start typing.
Me: I did something stupid. ð
Another heavy sigh leaves my lips, as I wait for the text to be delivered and for Rickel to read it.
It does within the next few seconds and her reply is instantaneous.
Rickyð: Wait, what? Wah yuh do?ð§ð¾ââï¸
Me: Ago FaceTime yuh.
Clicking out of App, I dial her number.
She picks up on the first ring.
I immediately note her background. She's in her bedroom, her door closed, earphones in, and lying in bed, staring at me.
At least we'll have some privacy.
Good.
"Spill," she says, not giving me a chance to greet her or anything.
"Yuh couldn't make mi get a chance eeeh..." I chuckle, trying to ease the tension.
She gives me a sappy face, making me smile. Ah boi. This gyal is sum'n else.
Bringing my knees to my chest, I recount the events of the night: from the intense make-out session with Driva to my sudden decision to pull away when things got too heated, omitting the parts about Chance, and how what Driva said to me had triggered me.
Rickel still doesn't know the gory details about what happened with Chance. She only knows that I gave him my V-card, like I told her I'd planned to, as my BFF, and that the experience was awful.
Rickel listens, offering the occasional nod and hum.
"So, yeah, now mi feel like idiot. The man goodly think so too."
"Wow, Deanne. That's intense. Mi never know uno did so...mi nuh know...close?" She clicks her tongue. "Mi coulda tell eno! From how uno did a act flirty flirty today, but mi never waa assume."
Her comment causes the heat to rise to my cheeks. I bite back the urge to blush.
"As mi say, we never really intimate like that before, but, I guess, the atmosphere did just feel right tonight. Or sum'n. But...sigh."
Ricky nods her understanding. "So yuh like him?"
"Like, 'like him, like him' mi mean," she adds, for clarity.
I think about it for a few seconds then shrug. "Mi nuh know. Kinda...maybe...yes. I guess. If the fact say mi dream 'bout him and wake up wid mi draws soaked means that I do..."
Rickel's eyes go wide, as if taken by surprise at the last part. "Wah? Murdaaaaaaaaaa!"
Her laugh causes me to laugh too.
"Apple, yuh fi gweh eno!"
"Wah mi do?" My grin is teasing.
"Wah yuh mean, yuh soak yuh draws a dream 'bout the man? How? Where? When?"
"The first time when mi see him, mi dream 'bout him. But, mi never soak until after mi see him again a the funeral. Mi never tell yuh this, but he was the driver for the charter to Uncle Tony's funeral. And he kinda, sorta saw me naked..."
Rickel guffaws and the sound causes the speaker to crackle. "Apple, come offa mi phone before mi fling it weh!"
"The man see yuh pumpum?" she adds, speaking loudly.
"Shhh, nuh gyal! S'pose smaddy hear yuh?"
She just loud so. Cho!
Rickel lowers her voice. "Mommy a sleep. And Darren and Theo nuh deh yah," she says referring to her brother and step-father. "But hush."
"Ah." I get up and walk further into the living room, throwing my bag onto the couch and taking a seat beside it.
"But, yeah. Wah yuh say now? How that happen?" She wears an intrigued expression on her face.
"Girl, it's a long story. But, in a nutshell, him come fi peepee or sum'n when mi inna the bathroom a batheââ"
"Him walk een pon yuh?"
"Wait nuh!" I playfully hiss my teeth in mock annoyance. "Impatient so?"
"Sorry." She blushes. "Continue."
I hum. "Yeah, so as mi come outta the bathroom, inna soso towel eno, a him that mi buck up inna. Mi now, turn a gi' the man way fi pass, when the towel mussi hitch inna the door same time. The frigging sum'n nuh do noth'n more than drop off a mi to rassclaat, expose di whole a mi likkle body to the people dem son!"
"Murdaaaaaaaaaa!"
Yuh know say... I roll my eyes for real now. "Ricky, if yuh scream out so again, mi hang up this."
She takes a few seconds to calm down. By now, her face is flushed. "Hush nuh! But mi too excited."
"Yuh woulda must excited." I scoff.
"This just nice and good. Mi love this fi mi."
"But hear this!" I shuffle in my seat, tucking one foot beneath the other, her enthusiasm urging me to continue. "That's after mi tell the man how much mi can bruck big hood...!"
The thought makes my heart skip a beat.
Rickel rolls over and sits up. "Wah? How that drop een?"
"Mi nuh know. Him did just have too much chat, so mi tell him say him hood likkle and him sass mi 'bout mi cyaa manage it. So mi tell him say him a idiot, mi a tek big hood longtime. Not in so many words." I laugh.
"Weh uno did deh?"
Fifty million questions eno...
"This was after him save mi from the bottle weh Aunty Sheryl nearly bruk inna mi head, during the war wah mi tell yuh 'bout." I chuckle, shaking my head at the memory. "And we did drop a grung, and mi lay dung pon top a him..."
She sighs, dreamily. "Then a so much things did a gwaan? Why mi never come a funeral wid yuh?"
I chuckle, grateful that she isn't mad I kept these things from her. "Tan a yuh yard! Yuh love blem-blem too much."
"A Sonya a mi mother..."
"Ago tell her, watch," I tease, knowing Aunty Sonya woulda pop her up.
Rickel sticks her tongue out at me, to which I roll my eyes.
"So, back to you and him and what happened, tonight," she says after a few minutes of me going silent, just staring at her. "Yuh think you woulda deh wid him? If he's interested that is."
"That's the thing, mi nuh know wah mi think. Right now mi not even know if the man like mi like that, and mi ready fi drop mi draws gi' him. The man goodly a pree mi as cheap." I sigh, feeling the heaviness spread from my heart to my limbs at the thought.
Rickel tsks. "Mi nuh think so. Based pon wah yuh tell mi, it seems to me like him a feel yuh too."
"If that's so, that mek it even worse, cause mi nuh know if mi ready fi deh wid nobody."
"Yuh naffi define the relationship. Yuh can just see what he has to offer, if anything." She rubs her eyes and blink. "But it's okay. You're figuring things out. You'll figure out what you want, eventually."
Not me taking advice from a virgin who has never had a man in her life.
Stifling a yawn, I say, "I just feel so confused." A thought then pops into my head, as I say so. "Rahtid, a now Moesha ago hate mi guts, if mi tek her "man"."
My comment summons a disgusted scoff from Rickel who scrunches her face. "Forget Moesha. 'Cause clearly shi fuck gyal."
Murdaaaaaaaaaa! "Yuh know yuh might be right. But she better nuh look over yasso."
"But must. It's giving obsessed at this point." Ricky scrunches her face like she smells shit.
"Big obsessed. Like wut?" I stare at my reflection in the smaller screen. Mi see why she woulda want mi still. Mi nice. Like rice.
Waiii!
If I laugh, I drop and spread out lacka carpet to pussyclaat!
"ANYWAYS, wah yaggo do 'bout Hot Driva?" Ricky's voice brings my attention back to her.
I involuntarily make a face making her giggle. "Mi nuh know, avoid him?"
I watch as my best friend's smile immediately drops. "Girl, nuh bother wid it."
This make me laugh. "So wah mi fi do?"
"Talk to the man and make him know yuh did just panic. It nuh hard."
A teasing grin stretches my lips. "Hear the virgin a influence mi fi tek man."
Caught offguard by my comment, Rickel guffaws. "Move nuh! Yuh nuh see mi a live vicariously through you!"
"Mi sorry fi yuh, 'cause mi ago lead a boring life from henceforth."
Her only response is a low hum, accompanied by an eye roll.
Dem soon stuck inna her head. Watch.
"Look here nuhââ" she starts to say, before she's cut off by a faint sound in the background. She swivels around. "Yes, Mommy?"
"Mi a come!" After listening to something else being said, she turns her attention back to me. "A wah Mommy coulda want at this hour of the night man."
I make a sappy face.
She gives me a sad smile. "Hush. Mi ago see wah she want. If mi nuh call yuh back, yuh know wah that mean."
"Aii."
"Later, mi twin. Soon come back."
Knowing there's no guarantee she'll be back for now, I sigh. "If anything, tomorrow then..."
"Yeah."
The call disconnects and I toss my phone to the side.
With heavy limbs, I pull myself up from the comfort of the couch, and trudge up the stairs.
My mind is flooded with thoughts once more.
I head to the bathroom and splash cold water on my face. The coolness helps clear my mind a bit. Leaning against the sink, I stare at myself in the glass.
As I look at my reflection, I can't help but question my actions since night.
Mi did really ago make Driva have sex wid mi, inna him car?
Or any at all?
Was I ready for that?
Am I really ready for any of this?
Those are the pertinent questions which need answers.
Regardless, I find myself blushing, having flashbacks of how good it all had felt. Driva's erection pressing against my ass; His fingers doing a number on my clit; His tongue stuck down my throatââhe's a great kisser, by the way; His body, firm and hard beneath mine.
The thoughts cause the throbbing sensation to grow between my legs. I press them together, in an effort to quell the urge, but the friction only makes it worse.
What the hell is happening to me?
It's like something has been awoken within me. Something uncontainable.
No man, mi affi get this under control.
This is madness.
I sigh.
Damn.
°
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°
°Tyrone's POV°
11:55 P.M.
It's minutes to midnight when I pull into my drive way and kill the engine.
Feel tired yuh fuck.
It has been a long day. One I want to put behind me.
Feeling a bit groggy, I yawn, rubbing my eyes with the back of my hand, before picking up my phone from the dashboard and tucking it into my front pocket.
My mind drifts to Candi and the missed calls I've been ignoring, feeling my jaws automatically tick.
Mi just hope she a sleep because mi cyaa tek the bagga fuckry inna mi head space right about now.
Jah Jah. With an exasperated sigh, I exit the vehicle, arming it with a simple click of the fob.
Walking up to the porch, I lazily punch in my security code, before pushing open the front door, the hinges creaking slightly in the silence.
The house is dimly lit, and I can hear the soft hum of the refrigerator from the kitchen.
I take a deep breath, trying to shake off the lingering scent of perfume on my clothes. It's flowery and sweet, reminding me of the owner.
My thoughts momentarily drift to her, but I quickly bury the thought before it can blossom into anything significant.
Fuck.
I shouldâve changed my shirt.
As I step inside, I see Candi sitting on the couch, her eyes fixed on me, a tightness in her jaw that tells me sheâs been waiting. Same fuckry mi a run from...
Jah Jah.
Mi nuh inna the mood fi it now eno, star.
Sighing under my breath, I say, "Evening."
Although, technically, it's already morning.
Candi narrows her eyes as I walk further into the room, throwing my keys and wallet into the porcelain holder by the door. "Look pon the time yawh come in here, Tyrone. Weh yuh did deh?"
Trying to sound casual, I kick off my sneakers. "A work mi did deh eno. Wah yuh expect?"
She scoffs. "When since yuh work so late?"
Ignoring her comment, I continue what I was saying before she interrupted. "Then mi did stop by Mumzi fi a bit, then link up wid Perry and Mani dem. Waah the problem?"
Without waiting for her response, I walk towards the bedroom, hoping to avoid a confrontation. But Candi follows me. I can feel her gaze burning into my back.
Candi hisses her teeth. When she speaks, her voice is a bit sharper. "Really now? 'Til 12 inna the night?"
"Never know mi deh pon schedule," I deadpan.
She hums. "OK, say you were with your granny and then your friends for the whole night, why yuh clothes smell so? Dat nuh smell like no man cologne."
Cho, pussyclaat man.
Turning to face her, I keep my expression impassive. "Candi, you a overreact. Yuh realize say a the road mi a come offa? All type a people deh 'round mi, wah yuh think ago happen?"
Her eyes narrow, and she steps closer, sniffing my shirt.
I ease her off with my elbow. "Yow, wah the fuck do yuh, ease off nuh, yo...!"
Candi swats my hand away, making me chuckle dryly. Jah know... "Tyrone, yuh tink mi fool? Dat smell like woman perfume! Being around people mek yuh smell like them now? Who yuh did a mingle up wid?"
I can feel the anger rise within me. She's pushing me for a reaction but I hold my composure. "Mi tell yuh already, mi buck up some people pon the road. Why the fuck yuh always a jump to conclusions? "
Candi catches me off guard when she pushes me, so I stagger a bit before planting my stance more firmly.
"Buck up some people?" She hisses. "Yuh expect mi fi believe dat? After mi know seh yuh out deh a cheat? Come home stink a gyal dutty kus-kus!"
At her comment, I step closer, my voice hard, saying, "Oh, mi a cheat? Then wah mi fi say 'bout yuh?"
Mi never did ago say noth'n eno, just did ago mek it gwaan play out, then mi just fuck her up, but she a force mi hand, early.
She looks taken aback, her eyes going wide momentarily, before she quickly masks it. But I caught it in time. "Mi? Don't do that, Dada!"
I hum, then chuckle. But I can bet it sounds forced even from a mile away.
"Wah that s'pose to mean?" I'm assuming she's addressing my reaction.
"Yuh good man."
I go to move around her, but she grabs ahold of my arm, pulling me back to face her. My eyes travel from her face, down to our interlocked arms, then back to her face. My lips spread thin. Yo, yuh see how the Devil trang?
"Mi a talk to yuh," she says when she holds my attention. "Wah that s'pose to mean?"
"Wah what s'pose to mean?" I quirk a brow.
"That reaction. Yuh don't believe me?"
Again, I only hum.
"So you don't trust me then?"
If mi never know wah mi know, mi woulda fall fi her likkle "innocent" act, to how good she a sell it.
Devious yuh fuck.
"Trust?" I laugh. It's cold and mocking. "Come outta mi face wid that yawh man."
"Watchya!" She pouts, blinking back tears. "Why yawh do this to me, Tyrone?"
"Why yawh do this to yourself." That yuh fi say.
"Mi literally nuh do noth'n, yet yawh accuse mi like this..."
Jah know.
Like tonight a my night fi Satan test mi faith.
"Alright, so ano you mi dawg see ova Portmore Mall wah day wid man?" I hiss, my voice low and deadly.
She swallows hard, going as silent as a lamb.
"Answer nuh," I urge, her silence ticking me off further.
Weh the chat gone? Yuh never just full a it?
When she still doesn't budge, I add, "Mi dawg see yuh ova deh inna broad daylight, Candi. Brawlin'. Like some likkle bombohole. Him say him see yuh a hug up and a kiss up wid a next bloodclaat man, a maggle through Mall like yuh n'ave nuh abidencity. Like yuh single or sum'n. Then yuh have the audacity fi come yasso a accuse me? Liff up from yasso and fuck that!"
And nuh mek mi get bomboclaat dawk inna this.
I narrow my eyes. My nostrils flared. If looks could kill.
She cowers as I hover over her, menacingly.
To how mi feel right now, a just one thing a save her, and a thru mi nuh too believe inna the domestic violence thing. 'Cause mi nawh ask...!
Candi relaxes her hold on me, her eyes brimming with tears. "Mi never..." she goes to say. Then, as if thinking better of it, she changes her tune, raising her voice now, with a pathetic, "What? Yuh mad? Mi nah cheat pon yuh, Tyrone! Don't flip this pon mi fi cover fi yuhself!"
A woman that fi yuh, bredda; dash out wah dem cyaa manage and when them get it back them play victim.
I scoff bitterly. "Mi a flip it? So a mek him a mek up sum'n? Ah." I scoff again, shaking my head. "Yow, uno woman a bumboclaat sum'n else eno..."
I step around her, but she steps in front of me, blocking my way.
Yuh know wah...I sigh.
Candi's face twists in anger, her eyes narrowing into slits. Her fists clench at her sides, and I can see the rage boiling beneath her skin which tinges red.
She feels cornered. I can tell.
This is about to get real ugly, real fast.
But I don't plan on backing down.
I've had enough of this shit.
The nagging, the constant insecurity attacks, the motherfucking lies.
Candi's voice trembles when she says, "Oh, so yuh really waan flip di script pon mi now? Yuh a try mek mi look like di bad one?"
I chuckle, but it's as sarcastic as they come. "Yuh nuh need mi fi mek yuh look bad. Yuh do a good job by yuhself."
Fuck she a say to mi?
This sends her over the edge. "Yuh think yuh slick? Yuh think yuh can just walk in yah, smelling like anedda gyal, and mi fi just tek dat? Nah, Tyrone! Mi nah deal wid dat! And yuh cyaa force that pon mi!"
"So, a me a di problem?" I jab at my chest. "A mi start it?"
"Mi simply ask how yuh stink a perfume and where yawh come from, and look where yuh drag things gone. So, yes!"
Jah Jah. Uno a hear this? Easing her out of my way, I walk over to the bed, and take a seat at the edge. My frown deepens. "Yo, yuh see when yaggo play hypocrite, mi naggo bother wid it, yuzimi! Just rest the argument yasso, yuzeet."
To hell wid this.
Mi nuh care nuh more.
She can fuck dung the whole island for all I give a fuck.
Just know say mi ago return the favour wid brawta.
"Mi nawh rest noth'n when you and yuh fren dem a tell lie pon mi!" she persists.
Oh? I shrug out of my driver's uniform shirt. "A that yuh mek yuh mouth say? So the man nuh see yuh and di man? Yuh think the man blind?"
Why mi even a entertain Candi and her fuckry, though God?
Honestly.
"Yuh know wah, nuh answer that," I say, on second thought. "Drop it. It nuh really matter at this point."
Candi bites back her words, and a silence settles between us as I stare at her.
The room feels smaller with each passing second, the tension wrapping around us like a vise, causing my chest to tighten. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest.
Yuh see why some man say certain things 'bout certain woman?
My anger flares, thinking on the blatant disrespect I've endured in my own house; the emotion mixing with something else ââ resentment, a sense of betrayal, maybe even a little disappointment.
Yo, tha woman yah wicked yuh fuck!
Jah Jah.
Candi blinks, tears in her eyes. "Mi cyaa tell when last mi go Portmore," she mutters breaking the tension. "If yuh fren say him see mi, a lie that, Tyrone! Mi never do noth'n! Yuh just a find excuse fi yuh dutty ways! Because yuh waa the relationship mash up fi yuh get fi go to yuh nasty gyal dem."
Bombaat star.
Uno see how woman stay?
Regardless, I fix her with a glare. "Excuse? Mi nuh need no excuse fi call out yuh fuckry!" My voice rises dramatically. "Mi dawg see yuh, plain and clear! You a di one who fuck up dis relationship, not me! So, nuh come bomboclaat blame mi."
"Stop spin it pon mi!" she shouts, her face flushed.
Sighing, I bury my face in my palms. After a short while, I run my hand over my face and sigh, looking up at her. "Yo, mi see say a smaddy yawh look fi mad out inna di night yah...and yussi thru my heart nawh bruk thru no gyal, a better yuh fuck off and lowe mi, yer!"
Candi glares at me, her chest heaving with each breath. The room feels like it's about to explode from the sheer force of our anger. That's how tense it gets. I know I should calm down, try to defuse the situation, but Iâm too far gone for that now.
Mi tired a the rassclaat back and forth, back and forth, every other day, yah now, man.
It a stress me the fuck out.
I'm drawn out of my head, at the sound of Candi's voice, her voice breaking when she says, "Tyrone, mi never cheat pon yuh, I swear. Mi love yuh, and yuh out here a destroy everything. How yuh fi treat mi so?"
If a this yuh call love, bredda, yuh can keep that shit.
I regard her coldly, giving her a harsh, derisive laugh. "Love? Yuh call dis love? Gwaan like yuh innocent. Yuh nuh love mi. Yuh love di idea of mi. Big difference."
Mi literally spoil her, and a so she repay mi?
Then a come gimme sob story 'bout love?
I scoff.
She blinks at me, hurt flashing across her face. For a moment, I almost feel bad. Almost. But then the anger flares up again, and I can't stop myself.
Mi just a imagine the heart weh she have fi have mi a fuck her raw when a next man a go deh.
Then that nuh the height of disrespect?
Issa good thing mi nuh nyam pussy to bomboclaat.
Else mi woulda surely affi kill it.
Springing to my feet, I stalk over to where she's standing, my voice low and dangerous when I tell her that, "Yuh know wah, Candi? Mi done wid dis. Mi cyaan deal wid you and yuh bumboclaat games. Pack yuh things and come outta mi house."
Her face falls. Shocked. "Wah?"
"Mi done talk," I hiss.
"Yuh see the time, Tyrone? Yuh really a go run mi out?" She turns to follow me as I walk over to the dresser, tossing my watch onto the jewellery rack. "A break yuh really a break up wid me, Ty? After all dis time, all we been through?"
All this time?
2 months?
Granted, it has been my longest relationship to date. But still...
I remain resolute. "Yeah. Mi done. Yuh haffi find someweh go. Now."
Despite the finality in my tone, she stands there, stunned, as if she canât believe what sheâs hearing.
But Iâm serious.
Iâve had enough.
"Nyam shit, Tyrone!" she shouts, after a moment of tense silence, swatting away her tears.
Yeah man.
Cool.
I watch as she turns and storms out of the bedroom, and into the ensuite, slamming the door behind her. The sound echoes throughout the house, but it doesnât bring me any relief.
Pulling up my pants which sags, I sigh and head through the door, before making a beeline for the guestroom bathroom. Mi waa shot a piss.
Not even wash mi nuh get fi wash off the grime offa mi before mi affi a deal wid all this pussyclaat fuckry.
Ah tell yuh bwoi.
When I'm through, I go to the living room. I sink onto the couch, rubbing my temples. Mi head a tear off yuh fuck.
Lolling my head against the soft cushion, I close my eyes and exhale deeply.
Although Candi hasn't yet left, the house feels emptier now, the silence heavy and oppressive. I know Iâve made my decision, but it doesnât make it any easier.
Jah know, it rough.
Minutes later, Candi reappears, a suitcase in hand. She stops in the doorway, her eyes red from crying.
I hold my head down, staring at nothing particular on my phone, knowing that if I meet her gaze, I might reconsider.
And that naggo benefit either of us.
"Yuh really sure 'bout dis, Tyrone?" she asks softly.
Without looking up, I release a heavy sigh. "Yeah. Mi sure."
She decided for me when she decide fi fuck pon mi.
I just can't view her the same anymore.
Her phone beeps and I'm assuming it's either a taxi.
Or the next nigga.
Either way, it's up to her. Wish her luck.
Candi hesitates for a moment, then turns and leaves, the door closing quietly behind her.
As I sit there, alone, the weight of my decision pressing down on me, I take some time to reflect on the night I've had.
In the span of less than 24 hours, I've had one catty reject me, for whatever reason I don't know, and a relationship I've committed to and poured so much into these past few months, go down the fucking drain.
The fact say tha girl deh get mi fi commit, and a this she do...? Jah know...
My jaws tick.
The anger I felt, though mellow now, lingers, but itâs mixed with a deep, gnawing, fucked-up feeling.
Then Schoolaz a the next one...I bury the thought of her. Mi did think she did a feel mi, but I guess not.
Like mi a lose mi mojo, Dawg.
Awah this?
I recline against the couch once more, feeling like mi woulda bun a big head spliff. But mi run outta grabba. So I close my eyes, feeling the tension in my head ease.
My mind drifts back to Candi and I hate the feeling which settles over me.
Iâve done what I had to do, but the emptiness that follows is something I wasnât prepared for.
Regardless, weâve both made our choices, and now we have to live with them.
Thereâs no coming back from this.
Unless mi nuh name wah mi name.
And as far as mi know a Tyrone Leon Ferguson deh pon mi bloodclaat birth certificate. So smaddy get knock.
Yuh fuck.