Chapter fifteen

I know what you're thinking.

Two uploads in this same week?! Consider it a gift my people! (;

Lol, anyways here it is!

Enjoy ~

- NickyMb <3

unedited by the way! :p

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If there was anything in the world that I was afraid of, it was the idea of dying.

For someone who loved finding reasons for the way things happened in the world, just the first letter of that word scared me more than anything.

I’m logical. I like knowing and analyzing facts.

I believe there's an answer to everything, even if we don’t actually know what it is. If I don’t see it with my own eyes, then I don’t believe it. If I can’t touch it for myself, then there's no way it’s real.

Getting on Julio’s motorcycle was like staring death in the face and mocking it.

“You’re nervous.”

I look up from the heavy helmet in my hand to find Julio looking at me. His dark eyes scan my face, drinking in every inch he can,  and his lips turn down a little at the side. I sigh and grip the edge of the helmet the best way I could.

With the wind blowing, I peek over my shoulder in time to see Mia and Aiden head into their apartment.

Mia keeps her distance, something I can tell from Aiden’s tense shoulders  bothers him. I honestly have no idea if I have ever seen them fight and the idea of them ever breaking up was close to insidious.

Turning my head, I look back at the shining, sleek bike in front of me. Julio leans against it, his arms behind him, resting on the seat.

With him standing like that, show casing his arms full of tattoo’s and his raven like hair, he truly looked as dangerous as a snake.

Meeting his eyes, I tell him the truth. “I’m scared.” I whisper under my breath. I hated to admit to the fact that something so small frightened me, but sometimes even the littlest things in life can cause the most damage.

Trust me, I should know.

I feel something lightly sweep across my forehead and when I look up and find Julio in front of me, sweeping the hair that was falling in my eyes behind my ear and letting his fingers linger,  I hold my breath.

This close, I could smell something spicy penetrating from him and it was making my heart beat at an erratic rate. His fingers were a great contrast to the cold weather and before I can say anything, he moves his hand faster than I would like and puts it in his jean pockets.

“There's nothing to be scared of. Trust me angel, I’m the best damn motorcyclist in town.”

Letting the feeling of his hands on me vibrate away, I shake off the feeling of his hands lingering on me and stick the helmet over my head.

If I was doing this, I might as well get it over with.

Julio, seeming satisfied and maybe a little too confident, swings onto his motorcycle gracefully, as if he has done this his whole life, and looks up at me with an eyebrow raised.

I knew from that one gesture that he was challenging me. Seeing if I could actually get on the motorcycle without the help of him or anyone else.

Clamping down on the fear that was starting to blossom in my stomach, I take a breath and do the most stupid thing I could do.

I get on the motorcycle.

With the balance of a one legged dog, I swing one leg over the same seat as Julio and settle down behind him. When I feel like I actually might  have my balance, I let go of the side and let out a shaky breath.

I hear something like light laughter in front of me and I take the time to look up and glare at Julios back, even if it was a wasted gesture. Before I have time to think, I feel his hand reach out and grab my waist.

Gasping a little at the sudden contact, I feel him pull me toward closer until my thighs were wrapped around his midsection in a death grip. My chest presses into his back and I can feel his shoulders shaking with concealed laughter.

When he takes his hand away, he makes it a point to skim his fingers softly over my exposed, tingling skin.

“That’s better,” He mutters under his breath wistfully. Before I have a chance to move away, he revs his motor and it drowns out any snide comment I was going to blast at him.

Fear finally comes crawling back and I press a little closer to Julio.

“Hang on angel,” He shouts back over the sound of his motorcycle. “This is going to be the best ride of your life.”

With my mind so focused on his words, I don’t notice him kick off the ground. Before I know it I jerk back a little and I end up grabbing for Julio’s shoulders, needing something to hang onto.

Within seconds were cruising down the road and the wind whips at us from all sides. I feel my red dress flap behind me and I thank God that I had enough sense to were pantie-hose tonight.

The world seems to melt away at that exact moment. While driving in a car you are able to look out the window and see the outside world, but on the back of a motorcycle it was like you were part of everything around you.

Julio and I were kissing the world goodbye.

With my hands still tight on julio’s shoulders, I dare a peek over his shoulder. Up ahead a light turns green and Julio speeds to the lane next to the car in front of him and that’s when I realized we were about to turn.

“Please don’t crash,” I whisper under my breath, into Julios’ leather jacket. When I feel the motorcycle turn, the side turning toward the right, I move my arms down and wrap them around Julios tight waist, praying the whole time.

Even I knew I was being ridiculous, but from a girl who’s most daring ride was a bike in seventh grade, I was scared shitless.

When I feel something lightly touch my fingers, I take in a deep breath.

Before I can even blink, I feel one of Julios gloved hands grasp mine in a light grip. With his fingers wrapped around mine, he pulls my arm around him more, if it was even possible, and I hear him shout over the noise.

“I’m about to stop. Hold on if you need too.” I nod my head, even though he can’t see it, and in the matter of thirty seconds Julio was pulling into a parking lot, pressing one foot to the ground, and turning off this death machine.

Before his other foot even touches the ground, I jump off the bike and pull my helmet off. I’m breathless as I watch Julio take his time, swinging off the bike and pulling off his gloves.

“Oh my god,” I say, in that same annoyingly breathless voice. “ Did I seriously just do that?!” My voice rises a little and when I look over at Julio, I see him smiling at me.

This kind of smile didn’t hold the usual teasing, sarcastic features it quite often did. This smile was genuine, coming from a side of Julio I never seen before. A side that I wanted to get to know.

Which was stupid.

Embarrassed at wanting to get to know any part of Julio, I quickly avert my eyes and hand him his motorcycle helmet.

I try not to notice his small frown as he takes the thing from my hands and lays in on the back of his seat.

Avoiding his gaze, I decide to look around instead.

Of course, this is when I notice where Julio decided to take me for our first night of our official deal. Beat down trucks and big motorcycles liter the parking lot, along with empty beer cans and cigarette buds.

From here I can hear someone in side trying to belt the songs to “Sweet Home Alabama.” and someone else arguing from somewhere outside. Setting a hand on my hip, I finally turn to face the guy who brought me here.

“A bar?” I ask having no idea why he chose to come here. Stuffing his gloves in his back pocket, he takes that moment to let a half amused smirk slowly melt across his face.

“I told you that these were going to be the most thrilling nights of your life. I want you to live, Kelsey. I want the girl I know lives under all that perfect logical bullshit to come out.”

“You have no idea what you are talking about. This is me. I don’t know what you’re hoping to accomplish, but there is no other side of me that you so often claim I have.” While I try to have my voice come out strong, even I can hear the lie run through.

All my life I had to be the perfect one. Kayla was the one who was allowed to be wild and crazy. She didn’t have to think of rules when she went out. She didn’t have to worry about what our mother would think.

As much as she thinks I’m the lucky one, she is.

I never wanted to see my mother look at me the way she looked at Kayla, with disappointment written all over her face. I didn’t want people around me to say the things they say about Kayla when she’s not around.

More than anything, I didn’t want to let my guard down. Here Julio was asking me to do the one thing that was nearly impossible.

I’ve let my guard down before, to guy’s just like him . They all asked for a little glimpse of the real me hiding under all this fake persona, but when they saw her, they didn’t want to come back.

No one ever wanted to see the real me. I was scared to let her out for fear that if I did, people around me would leave just like those people before did. The only people who knew the Kelsey that lived underneath was Mia and Kayla.

Not even Julio could break the wall I built two years ago.

With my thoughts all in a jumble mess, I didn’t notice Julio walk up next to me. Now, I meet his dark eyes and I can see something there I’ve never seen before.

Honesty.

“That’s not true,” He says under his breath. When I feel his breath, warm and minty, lightly pass over my cheek,  I shiver a little. He steps closer, not once letting his eyes stray anywhere but at me.

“I can tell by the way you don’t take shit from me that you are strong. I can tell from the way you were able to get on my motorcycle, even though you didn’t want to, that you are more than this perfect cut out piece you call yourself,”

Before I can say anything, he moves a little, coming to the side of me. I close my eyes, letting the wind move my hair, and I feel him lightly touch his lips to the end of my ear.

“And,” He mummers, letting  his soft voice tickle my ear and make my heart speed up, “ I can tell from the way your heart is beating fast right now, that you want this more than anything in the world. That you want to drop that bullshit act and be the you you want to be. Be real with me angel, that’s all I want. The real you for just one night.”

With him this close to me, I couldn’t think. His body wasn’t even touching mine, his lips barely grazing my ear, and I felt like he was touching every inch of me, setting me aflame from the inside out.

I needed to get away, to distance myself from him, but with him hitting so close to my emotions, I was running on the pure ecstasy of his words. Without thinking, I turn and meet him face to face.

Our breaths meet in the middle and our noses were almost touching. Swallowing,  I move forward, taking in a breath of him, and lean toward his ear.

With my hair over one shoulder, I bring my lips to his ear the same way he did and let out a small breath.

I bring my hand out and I set my hand lightly on his chest, palm down, so that now I was feeling his heart beat fast under my fingertips.

With the thrill of knowing that I affected him the same way he affected me, I lean in closer and whisper as lightly as I can, “You show me the real Julio and I will show you the real Kelsey. That is, even you are able to find her.”

And with that I left him standing in the parking lot, watching me walk away,  having no idea how I held my breath the whole way to the bars doors.

I didn’t dare look back.