Chapter twenty four

Please excuse my grammar mistakes. I wrote this without editing it. My apologizes ahead of time!

Much love, Nickymb <3

By the way: The song on the right was mentioned to me through a message. This person wrote me and said how much she loved my story and how she found a song that fit Julio and Kelsey perfectly. I looked it up and I agree 100%. So I dedicated this chapter to her. She legit found the perfect song and I think you all should take a listen (:

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"If you keep doing that we are never going to get this project done."

My hands are frozen on the glass tube in front of me and Julio laughs against my neck. My heart beats frantically as he scoots away, the warmth of his breath leaving my neck.

I have the urge to reach over and pull him closer, but I don't. Right now my grade was more important that Julio and his teasing ways.

"Alright. We can save that for later." I roll my eyes as I go back to pouring the clear liquid in the glass tube in front of me. Luckily Julio convinced Mr. Clark for him and I to use his room for an hour.

I don't know how Julio convinced him since he kind of hated us, but somehow here I am trying to finish our project while Julio breaths down my neck.

It was very distracting.

"Did I ever tell you how chemistry turns me on? Or maybe it wasn't chemistry. Either way, you standing there like that, all concern and focus on your face, is enough to make any man come begging on their knees for attention."

"Are you flattering me Julio?" I peek up from the tube to find him leaning against the table in front of me. His hands are folded lightly over his chest and a small smile is on his face.

"Don't take it to heart. I learned awhile ago if I flirt with girls I can get them do almost anything." His words are supposed to be teasing, but something tugs at my stomach.

When he made suggestions like that, talking about his past with girls, it made me hesitate. Maybe we were jumping into this too quickly. Maybe I wasn't ready for something like this.

What makes me so positive that I wasn't going to turn out like them? I mean he had me in his clutches already. He had me exactly where he could hurt me.

I have had crushes and boyfriends so many times I know this feeling. What we had right now was what I liked to call middle field.

Nothing was official yet nothing was too vague either. I was a spinning timer and either we would go toward total heartbreak, where we both knew it's not going to work out, or we go to the other side. The side where we get closer.

Where things become serious.

Where things can turn deadly.

Where things can become perfect.

What if I'm not ready? What if I mess up? I was so good at messing up every other good relationship in my past I'm terrified Julio will end up like all my other past boyfriends.

Hell, was he even my boyfriend?!

"Yeah, well, flirting won't get you anywhere with me." My voice is flat and I know it. I can't look at him, afraid of what might be on his face, so I focus back on my task.

Our project dealt with chemicals and the way they affected the physical makeup of an organism. It was beyond complicated and I chided myself for not getting to it sooner.

"Kelsey, what's wrong?" Julio's voice tries to pull me from the task at hand but I don't look up. He was not going to see the vulnerability that was clearly showing on my face.

I shake my head, my hands running over my sheet of paper in front of me. I take in a deep breath to calm myself. Okay, I can do this.

I reach for the pencil to record our data but when I get my hand around it, suddenly Julio's hand stops me. He uncurls my fingers away from the pencil and grabs my hand, tugging me closer.

His fingers are then under my chin and he arches my head back until I meet his eyes.

"Talk to me." He says, his face suddenly serious.I swallow and grab the fingers at my chin and remove them. He drops his hand from my chin reluctantly but he still holds my hand.

"Julio-" My voice breaks and I want to curse myself. What the hell was wrong with me? "Just tell me this can work." I spit the words out before I can lose my courage.

He doesn't say anything for awhile and I look up to find him staring out the window. He runs a hand over the back of his neck and lets out a tense breath.

"I can't."

Even though I expected that, his words are like a punch to the gut. Well,what was I hoping for anyway? That Julio could possibly hold out feelings for me? Sure we shared things with each other and I wouldn't ever go back and change that. But what did that even mean?

It didn't set our future in stone.

So what if we kissed? Kayla kisses plenty of guys in her day without any attachments. Though I have no idea if it feels like the whole world around her is on fire when she actually kisses these guys. I go to pull my hand from Julio's, to leave the conversation at that, when he tightens his hold.

"That doesn't mean we shouldn't try Kelsey." I meet his eyes suddenly and he pulls me closer. I feel him lay a hand on the small of my back and he looks down at me, a somber look on his face.

"When it comes to even attempting relationships I don't know what to do. No girl has ever stuck around to actually give me the time to actually try it out. I'm not saying that's not my fault, cause it is."

He leans down till his forward touches mine and he closes his eyes.

"You are going to hate me sometimes. You are going to wish you never gave a guy like me a chance. If perfection is what you are looking for Kelsey, I'm not that guy. I will be an ass to you for no reason. I will leave before I have the chance to talk things out. I know will cause you pain even if I try not to. It's just who I am."

He pulls me closer and his breath fans across my face.His words are urgent.

"But I swear I will give this a chance. You are not going to get off that easily. This scares the shit out of me too, but fuck does it feel right. Never in my life have I have been so sure and unsure about something.. At times, I want to push you away because at the end of the day I know it's the right thing to do. Other times I want to pull you closer and never let you go. What I am saying it I can't promise you perfection. But I can promise you one hell of a ride."

Now I wonder how I ever doubted this boy. While he talks, I can hear the fear underneath his words.

He was so used to people leaving him, them not believing in him, that he was used to pushing them away before they had the chance to do the same.

I know how he feels. He fears putting his trust in someone again. He fears that if he puts his all into something the chances of it leaving him are inevitable.

But for him to ever think I was like the people in his life makes me want to laugh. Over the years I have learned that to be able to take chances on people you have to take a chance on yourself first.

I smile as I quickly lift up on my tippy toes and lay a quick kiss on his lips. Well, it would have been quick if he didn't cup the back of my neck and push my lips back to his. Seconds pass before he leans back, disconnecting his lips from mine.

He stares down at me, a question in his eyes, and I answer it. "I wanna play a game."

It was one my sister and I use to play when we were younger. We did it after my dad left and the only reason we did was because it was secretly our way in asking each other if the other was okay.

I watch as Julio raises an eyebrow, surprised at my question. Before he can get any idea about what the game may be, I tug his hand down and we both go sprawling on the floor.

He leans against the back cabinets, his head resting on the wood, and I lay back against the table behind me.

"Okay, I'm listening." I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear and smile. The game was a loose interpretation of two truths and one lie. This was actually quite the opposite.

"Okay, we are going to state three things. Two lies and one truth. If you can guess which one is the truth, you get to ask me any question you want. No boundaries. If you are wrong, I get to ask you any question I want. Deal?"

He nods his head and I straighten out against the table. I know it was a silly game but this was what I was comfortable with.

"Okay, I'll go first." I bite the inside of my mouth as I think of my three questions. When I come up blank, I just shoot for random things.

"One time I cheated on a test, I hate math, and I once had a dog name Goodfellow."

Okay yeah they were pretty random. I look over at Julio and raise an eyebrow. He raises one too and I smile, thinking they were really good questions. Before I can pride myself, Julio leans closer and drops his voice.

"You love math. It's the only academic thing that can never change. It's too practical for you to hate. The dog? That's a little tricky. But I could never see yourself with a dog, let alone naming something as God awful as Goodfellow. I'll take you cheating on the test."

My mouth threatens to drop but I hold it in place. He got the answer dead on. I sigh and slump against the table, sweeping my hand out. "You are right. Ask your question."

"Who was the first person to ever break you heart."

I jerk my head up at the question. My heart starts to pick up and memories I didn't want to remember flutter by. Why the hell would he want to know that?

I've told him one time about how I have gotten my heartbroken plenty of times, some offhand comment, but I know from his face he wants to know who really broke my heart. Who was the last one to take a knife to the thing.

I look away, opting to stare out the window instead. Snow flitters to the ground and I know soon that we would be heading home for thanksgiving break. I wouldn't be seeing Julio for two weeks.

Two weeks of dealing with my mother and her perfect little world.

"His name was Jake." My voice is hollow as I recount the last person to seriously cause me damage.

"He use to live awhile from me and at a chance meeting at a supermarket we hit it off." The memory of him 'accidently' running into mine and Mia's cart makes a lump form in my throat. I remember the way he use to hold me, promising me that everything was going to be okay.

That him and I would never be separated.

I believed every damn word.

" He told me he loved me." My voice is raw and I can't help the catch in my words. "So one night he wanted me to prove how much I actually loved him. He took everything from me that night. My love, my virginity," Okay, I would have been mortified at admitting that to Julio but I was in too deep to shut up. "After he text dumped me and showed up a week later at a club with another girl.Thankfully Aiden was there and ended up punching him in the face. Haven't seen him since."

I look over and find Julio already staring at me. His eyes are dark and his face is down right serious. I was waiting for the teasing or the laughing. When it doesn't come, I let out a shaky breath.

"God you are probably thinking I am pathetic."

"No," He says simply. But his voice holds a dark edge to it. "What I am thinking about is telling myself not to do something stupid."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean right at this moment, I want nothing more than to find this guy and hurt him as much as he hurt you."

We don't say anything for a tense moment and Julio lets out a hard breath, digging his fingers through his hair. "Fuck. Okay, okay. I guess it's my turn."

I see him trying to shake away his anger as he closes his eyes and leans his head against the cabinet behind him.

Before anything else can be said, he talks.

"I'm a super hot Spanish firecracker. Girls melt at my feet when they see me. I hate peas." He opens his eyes and looks over at me, his face completely serious.

"That's too easy!"

He looks at me a little appalled. " Are you saying I'm not a super hot Spanish firecracker?" I roll my eyes and choose the third option. He smiles and lazily stretched his legs out.

"Looks like you know me better than myself. Go ahead." He waits for the question and I have to think of one. My mind runs over a million things I want to ask and don't want to know.

He asked about my past heartbreak and I was going to ask him who was the first person he ever fell head over heels for. Who was the first girl he ever actually cared for, but I realize I don't want to ask that question.

So instead I say, "What's your favorite color." He raises an eyebrow at the question.

"What's my favorite color?" He drawls out and I want to slap myself in the face. Well, it wasn't like I could take it back now. I flush a little as I square my shoulders and nod my head. He looks at me for a moment before answering.

"Gold. But I'm going to give you the answer to the question you should have asked- you."

"What was the question?"

"Who is the one person I would do anything for."

My breath stops. I freeze and Julio reaches over and grabs my waist, pulling me toward him. "It doesn't matter what the question would have been, the answer is always going to be you."

There is so much in those words and I lean over and kiss the corner of his mouth, pulling back before he can drawl it out longer.

"Thank you." I say under my breath. He opens his mouth, to say something more,when a voice cuts through the air like steel.

"What are you two doing on my floor." When I see Mr. Clark standing above us, his hands crossed tightly over his chest, I spring up from the floor in a hurry.

Julio still has his hand around my waist and as he scrambles off the floor, we end up tripping over each over and I end up hitting him in the nose with my head.

"Shit." Julio mutters under his breath after my head nails his nose. I jerk back, horrified as I see a little dribble of blood start to trail down his face. He starts to bring his hand to the blood when Mr. Clark huffs.

"Here." He produces a tissue out of thin air and shoves it toward him. Julio takes it without complaint and holds it under his nose. I want nothing more than to just apologize but Mr. Clark was staring at us with fire in his eyes.

"I repeat, what are you two doing on my floor? With open chemicals still in the room, no doubt." Before I can answer, Julio butts in with a witty remark.

"Kelsey dropped her contact. We were trying to find it." He looks straight at Mr. Clark as if he was daring him to say he was lying.

Mr. Clarks eyes narrow noticeably.

"Yes, well I hope you know in two days break will be here. After that, you are required to turn this project in. I surely hope you spend more time on that and less time on finding useless contacts." Before we can say anything else he dismisses us.

"You two may go. Mays, you can pick up your equipment before you leave for the holiday. I refuse to let recklessness stay in my classroom."

I see Julio make a fist with his left hand as we leave the classroom, Mr. Clark burning his eyes in the back of our heads. It was actually quite frightening.

When the door closes behind us, I let out a tense breath. Who knew one teacher could make me nerves from just staring at me?

"He shouldn't have said that. You are the last thing when it comes to reckless. Cautious, maybe. Reckless? Hardley." I look up to see his tissue turning red and I frown. I bring my fingertips up and touch the edge of where I hit him lightly.

"Sorry." He smiles and moves the tissue away from his nose.

"Just the next time you want to ram your head into my nose at least warn me first." A slow smile starts to spread on my face until I remember Mr. Clarks words.

Two days till thanksgiving break. That meant I was going to finish my midterms and be too wrapped up in worrying about school and home that I wouldn't have time to see Julio again.

I let out my breath and close my eyes briefly.

"So, this is it? I won't see you for two weeks. I'm sure you will busy with your family. God knows I will be."

Julio crumbles the tissue in his right hand and nods his head, his raven like hair catching in the light.

"You don't have to say it. I know you'll miss me." I laugh tentatively before Julio comes up and pokes me in the nose lightly.

"Don't worry. If you have any free time, you have my number. You can meet me anytime you feel like you need too. I will always be there."

And I know he means what he says. That even if he was busy, he would drop everything and come help me. He was offering his hand for whenever I needed it and that makes something in my heart leap.

I meet his dark eyes and what I see in them is enough to make me lose my breath.

"The same for you Julio. Whenever you need me, I'll be there too."

And that was the truth. I wasn't going to be like the people in his life and leave him. No, I was staying right here. I wasn't going anywhere.

Rather he liked it or not.