Chapter thirty two

To all the people who waited a long time for this update, I'm sorry.

To all the people who kept on my ass and told me to update twenty-four seven, who was there for me when I needed them, and to all who  wrote on my message board asking about this story, thank you!

All in all, it took awhile and I apologize to each and every one of you! But I am back and I plan to finish this story this week!

Oh and sorry for any grammar mistakes! :p

Much love, Nickymb <3

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“Tell me everything.”

I pull my legs up to my chest and rest my chin on my knee as Mia eagerly waits on the other end of her bed, grey eyes bright with wanting. Sighing, I wrap a piece of my hair around my finger and recount the last twenty-four hours to her in the least detailed way I could.

I run over what my mother said, the bitterness in my voice startling me. I should have known better than to expect her to call, I knew she wouldn’t, but I couldn’t help but hope that she would. She was my mother after all.

I recite the events leading up to Julio and I taking that next step and when Mia squealed, asking me for the juicy details, I quickly averted the conversation to Julio’s dad.

There was no way in hell I was going to tell her about that. Plus, when Kayla asked her about Aiden’s and her’s first time, the only thing Mia supplied us with was a faint blush and a quick ‘Shut up’. So yeah, she was getting nothing from me.

When I mention Julio’s dad, Mia instantly goes still. “You met him?” She whispers a little wistfully. I realize that Aiden must of shared with Mia Julio’s past. Letting out my breath, I drop my piece of hair and lean my head against the headboard of her bed.

“Mia you should have seen Julio. It looked like he seen a ghost.”

“I imagine,” Mia says, adjusting her body so that she was leaning next to me on her bed. “Aiden told me about how Julio use to be pretty messed up when his father went to jail. According to Aiden, there use to not been a sober bone in his body.”

I close my eyes, sadness coiling it’s way around my heart. “Mia, what if my mother was right? What if Julio can’t change?” My breath comes out a little shaky, my mind running through a whole bunch of scenarios.

“I know this feeling Mia. The thing that scares me is that I never felt it this intensely. All I want to do is go back to Julio’s and hurt that man as much as he hurt Julio. And that doesn’t make sense.”

Mia scoots closer to me, her arm wrapping around my shoulder. She clicks her tongue, her voice dropping to a low whisper.

“That’s the thing about falling in love with someone Kelsey. All you want to do is help them when you know deep down they need to help themselves,” I open my eyes and turn toward Mia and she smiles.

“Do you know how many times I try to fight Aiden’s battles for him? Do you know how many times I actually do?” I laugh softly,pushing my legs out. Mia shakes her head, a smile spreading across her face.

“This thing with Julio, it will work out. You just have to trust and have faith in him. While sometimes what you think might not be the best thing for him, might actually be the one thing that is. And that, Kelsey, is the hardest thing when it comes to love. Accepting that not everything is going to be perfect. You are going to fight, you are going hate each other at times, hell, sometimes you might even question everything. But at the end of the day, you know more than anything, that the faith and love you have for the person you want to be your forever is way more important than the bad.”

When she finishes her speech, I push her shoulder. “Ugh, you sound like a fortune cookie.” Mia reaches forward and pinches my thigh hard, jumping off the bed before I can repay the favor.

“If I was a fortune cookie I would be able to tell the future. And the future says that you will have more hot and steamy nights with Julio.” She wiggles her eyebrows and I push off the bed, my feet landing on the ground.

“I am going to kill you. Did you see that in your future?”

“Actually-”

Before she can finish the door pushes open rather hardly and Mia and I jerk back, and when we see Mason standing in the doorway, hands on hips and a frown on his face, we both try to hide our smiles.

He eyes Mia, me, and then Mia again. “What the hell is going on?!” He shouts, his blonde hair falling in his eyes inch by inch as he yells.

Mia shoots me a look and I shrug. I had enough time trying to figure out Julio, no need to add her brother to the list. “Are you okay Mason?” She asks under her breath.

Before she can answer we see Mason get shoved into the door and in walks Kayla, black hair and all. “That is a very stupid question. When is Mason ever okay? Mentally or physically.”

“I’ll have you know the ladies love me.” Mason inquires as he rubs his shoulder and shoots Kayla a big ol’ smile. Kayla sneers and turns toward us. “Tell your brother if he keeps smiling at me, I will kill him.”

Mason drops the smile and shakes his head, backing away out the door. “Acknowledge. Oh and Mia? Next time you invite the devils spawn into our house, remind me to get Holy water.”

Kayla shoots for the door and Mason runs out, the door slamming behind him. When the door is finally shut, Kayla closes her eyes and leans against the frame, letting her breath out slowly. “Finally.”

I move around Mia and head toward Kayla, worry in every move I make. “What are you doing here Kayla? I thought-” Before I can finish, she opens her eyes and narrows them at me.

Great.

I could tell from the look alone that she was pissed about something. And if I had to guess, that something had to be our mother.

“Do you know what it is like being stuck in mothers house all on your own?” I can tell from the hardness in her voice that something must have happened. I sigh, pushing my hair behind my ear.

Yeah, I kind of do Kayla.” She shakes her head and kicks off the door frame, heading toward Mias dresser. “Yeah, well, I’m not used to it.” She picks up a brush and examines the handle. Mia sits back on her bed, her eyes on Kayla as she watches the brush.

“Why don’t you tell us? It seems like the both of you have been having a pretty shitty week.” Mia comments, her gaze still on Kayla. When Kayla sits down the brush and turns, I see something shift in her posture. The anger is gone and is replaced by something else.

It’s resolve.

“I have something to tell you guys.” When she goes to touch her nose piercing I finally get a good look at the tattoo our mother went off on. It’s fully black and it was of a fully front-faced compass. It was pretty simple and actually something I could never see Kayla getting.

“What is it?” I ask, looking away from the compass and at her. Our eyes meet and that’s when I see it. It wasn’t resolve I saw earlier, it was forgiveness.

“Kelsey.. I can’t do this anymore.” I grab her hand and pull her toward the bed, squeezing her between Mia and I. I push our joined hands between us and wait for her to look at me before I talk.

“Kayla, you’re scaring me. What do you mean you can’t do this anymore?” Mia shifts on the bed and gets closer to Kayla. I wait, my heart starting to pick up, while thoughts run through my head. Was Kayla worse than she let on? Was it my fault?

Suddenly all those times I said things I shouldn't have voiced come back to the surface. Back then, I didn’t see it. The way I acted around her, how I tried to protect her but the way I tried too wasn’t the right way.

I start to apologize, because now I realize every fault I have. Now I realize the wrongs I have made, the things I have said, and I want Kayla to know how sorry I am.

But before I can, she suddenly talks. “I mean I don’t think Michigan is for me.” All my thoughts come to a stand still and shock replaces them.

“Wait, what are you trying to say?” Kayla pulls her hand out of mine and stands up, her back to me and Mia. “I’m trying to say I don’t want to stay here. I don’t want to go to college. I don’t want to look at the same thing for the rest of my life. I want more out of life than this,”

She turns around and motions to the room around her. “My whole life I thought I was stuck. Stuck with mom, with all the people who didn’t like me, and now I’m finally realizing this isn’t for me. Guy’s, I think when this break is over I’m going to find a new place.”

“A new place?” Mia says, her eyebrows drawing together in thought. Kayla nods, a small, sad smile starting to spread on her face.

“As far away from Michigan as I can.”

Finally I understand the forgiveness she was showing before. She was sorry that she was going to be leaving Mia and me here while she lived her own life. Had her own adventure. Suddenly the compass makes perfect sense. Her whole life, Kayla thought she was stuck. And now that she thinks she found a way out, she was going to take it.

The only thing keeping her here is Mia and me, and I wasn’t about to stop her.

I stand up and wrap my arms around her in a hug, my face smashed against her shoulder. Kayla brings me closer to her and I mumble against her neck. “ I love you, you know that right? So whatever you do Kayla, wherever you go, I will support you. You’re my sister, my best friend, and whatever makes you happy makes me happy.”

She tightens her hold and when I hear her sniffle, I know she’s about to cry. I pull back a little and watch as a small tear leaks from the corner of her eye. “Don’t you dare cry because if you cry, I will.” She does anyways and of course that leads to me tearing up too.

Soon, Mia starts to cry and it turns into a big crying fest. The only thing we were missing was Mia’s mom. That lady could outcry us all. Finally, when we all get our emotions in check, Kayla starts to laugh.

“Oh my God. I can’t believe I won’t be here. It’s kind of crazy to think about.”

“I know.” Mia says, her voice full of wonder. Kayla turns to us both and her smile gets bigger.

“The best thing though, is that I know I’m not leaving you guy’s all alone. Mia, you have Aiden. And Kelsey?” She turns to me and punches my shoulder lightly. “You have Julio, rather you want to admit it or not.”

“I’ll have you know I actually did admit I have Julio. Don’t you remember the whole ‘mother’ thing?”

“Ugh, I don’t even want to hear that woman's name.”

Kayla leans back on the bed and slings her arm over her face. Mia joins her position, arm over the face and everything. “At least your mother isn’t trying to pick out baby names.”

“You’re kidding,” I say.

Mia lifts her arm and narrows her eyes at me. “I’m not. She’s on the W’s now. She thinks Wandella is a beautiful name for a girl.”

She shudders and I laugh, the name as silly as it sounds. “I’m scared to think about what she has planned for the boy.”

“Waldemar. And let’s not talk about how she got that name.”

“Hey! Isn’t that the name of-”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it!”

We all start to laugh when Suddenly my phone rings. Mia and I both jerk our heads toward it at the same time and when I see Julio's name flashing, I snatch the phone off the dresser. The moment I press the talk button, Julio pleads his case on the other line. He doesn't even give me a chance to talk. Which right from the start I know something must be wrong.

"Kelsey, I need to tell you something. And I want you to listen, okay? Just... listen." My heart stops in my chest at the way his voice sounds. Panicked. Julio was panicked. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I wait to hear his next words.

"All my life I looked down on this kind of shit. Now I need you to know that I have no idea what tonight brings, or if tomorrow I will have the chance to say it. Kelsey... I'm falling in love with you more and more every day. And I just ... dammit," He stops suddenly and my whole body seems to go numb. “ I wish I was what you believe,” he whispered. “I wish I was what you need me to be, Kelsey. But I have made mistakes and I can't fix them. I can't... be the guy you need. I'm sorry."

Before I could even get a word in, before I can tell him the same thing, tell him he is the guy I already need him to be, he presses the end button and I'm left sitting there, replaying his words. He said he was falling in love with me. I should be happy, I should be jumping up and down while singing some damn song. But the way Julio sounded on the phone. The way he...

Turning toward Mia and Kayla, I jump off the bed and say as urgently as I can.

"Julio's in trouble."

Before they can react, I reach for my hoodie and throw it over my head, my hair getting tangled everywhere. My breath comes out in short little bursts and when I grab for my phone my hands shaking a little.

What the hell did he think he was doing? Calling me like that and saying he loved me just to throw it all away? Whatever was going on I knew Julio needed help And if he thought for one moment I wouldn’t be there for him he was crazy.

That was the boy I loved on the other line and I wasn’t about to see him do something stupid.

“Mia, call Aiden. I want to know what the hell is going on, please.” I say breathlessly as I  head toward the door. I have my keys in my hand and my mind only on one thing. Find Julio. Before I can make it to the door though, Kayla steps in front of me and blocks my path.

“Kelsey, stop. I don’t know what Julio said but obviously it has you freaked out. Wait a minute, take a breath, and see where this takes us.” I go to dodge around her, but Kayla being Kayla, she figures out my move and blocks me again with her body.

“Kelsey, no. You are not driving while your mind is half way up your ass with worry. Just wait, okay?” I shake my head, the longer I stand in front of her the more worried I get.

“Kayla you have no idea how he sounded on that phone.” When she doesn’t say anything, I throw my hands in the air in frustration.

“He said he was falling in love with me dammit!”

Her eyes widen a little at my words. Which is exactly what I want. With her momentarily distracted by my words, I push around her and sling the door open. I know what I was doing was stupid. I know it was.

Deep down, the rational part of me was saying to stop and think about what I was doing. Sadly, when it came to caring for someone, you don’t stop and think. You don’t try to reason with yourself. The only thing your mind and body seem to understand is the person you care for needs you and deep down, you will get through and do anything to help them.

Before I can even make it to the stairs, I feel someone come up behind me and wrap their arms around my midsection. Cursing under my breath, I turn around in their arms too see Mia looking at me, worried and frightened.

Kelsey, wait. I called Aiden. He said he will be here in ten minutes. Just wait till he gets here before you do something stupid. For all you know he might not even be home.”

“I don’t care Mia, I’ll find him. He needs me.” She pulls me into a fierce hug, her voice a whisper. “I know Kelsey, I know. But just listen to me when I say there was a reason he didn’t tell you where he was. He might not want to be found because he might not want you to be there. And Kelsey, Julio hes..”

Her voice trails off and I push out of her arms.

“I know what he is Mia, I know better than anyone. But deep down I know he’s a good guy and I knew something was up ever since he got into that black car that day and when we went to that party and he got all tense about something someone said. He’s hiding something, and even if he doesn’t want me to find out, that’s okay. He doesn’t have to have me there. I don’t need him to need me all the time. But I know Julio and the way he sounded on the phone, I just...” I put my hands over my face and take a deep breath, reason finally making it’s way back to me.

I count to three and drop my hands, a decision surfacing. “Okay, I’ll wait for Aiden. But the minute he gets here we find Julio, okay?”

Mia nods her head and when she pulls me back into her room, I can’t help but wonder if I made the right decision.

Because what if Julio doesn’t need my help?

What if this is just his way of saying good-bye.