Chapter six

“Today class you will be picking your partners for the upcoming project this year. I will be choosing the assignment you and your partner will participate in. This will be affecting your end of the year grade immensely. Remember that it is very important to the way…Miss Mays, am I boring you?”

I feel someone poke my shoulder hard with a pencil and I lift my head to see Maria, the girl who sits next to me in Physics, with her pencil raised and her small eyes flicking to Mr. Clark, the teacher who has now just stopped in the middle of his rant to look over at me.

I wipe the drool off my mouth, something that always happens when I fall asleep during the day, and I look to see Mr. Clark glaring at me, an eyebrow raised and his hands behind his back. Mr. Clark is the kind of teacher you listen too. If not, the consequences can ran from a number of things.

The whole class is also taking me in with interested eyes, anything to get them off the subject of chemicals and molecules. Seems as if I have yet again became the classes own personal entertainment. In college, anything but the class you are taking is better than listening to professors. As I’ve observed over the past week.

My eyes betray me and they go to the pair of dark eyes that were locked on mine, just like everyone else’s in the room. He takes me in with more interest, not caring that I’m looking or not. And I’m totally looking.

Julio smiles a little, not teasing for once, as he brings two fingers to his head in a kind of salute. Even though his smile isn’t his usual one, it doesn’t mean he’s not about to do something stupid. So when he nods and mouths good morning, followed by an obnoxious wink, I realize one thing in that moment.

I’m going to kill him.

I look away fast, blinking  my eyes the next second to get the rest of the sleep away. Everyone is still looking at me so I shyly clear my throat and straighten out. Obviously from the way I can’t keep my head up anyone can tell I didn’t get any sleep last night. When I finally did get back to my dorm the effects of what happened earlier were hitting me hard.

I had to help Kayla, who was already passed out and mumbling, into her bed. After about seven tries I finally got her on her stomach and asleep. When I finally got the chance to get into mine, everything from that night finally washed over me like hot water.

I kept replaying different scenarios in my head on what could have happened with that guy if Julio wasn’t there to stop him. Scenarios that frightened me more than I would have liked to admit.

Most of them were too much for me to handle so I ended up humming along to some Barney song I learned when I was five and thought about anything but drinking. Anything but the fact a guy tried to have his way with me and another guy ended up helping me.

Though, among all those disturbing thoughts, there was one little piece of that night that kept coming up and haunting me. One little piece that kept the Barney song from helping me to calm down and wash away the effects.

I also remembered the fact that Julio never heard me say thank you.

Sadly I wasn’t one of those people who liked to owe people. I have a theory that if you owe people, then they think they have the right to invade your privacy. They think they can do or say whatever they want.

Okay, okay, it was a weird way of thinking and made no sense, I will admit, but I guess I just didn’t like owing people in general. My mother always told me that if I wanted to get through life the right way, I needed to do it myself. If I depended on people then my whole life will be nothing more than a lie.

Yeah just add that to the list of all the other things I hate.

My eyes meet Mr. Clark's narrowed ones and I say a little embarrassed, “I’m so sorry sir. It will not happen again, I promise.” And it wasn’t going to happen again. If I had to drink coffee by the bucket loads to stay awake the rest of this semester than I would. I couldn’t fall behind. I had too much riding on this.

He grunts in a way of response, not bothering to comment on me sleeping,  and starts to walk again, going back to his speech about the project or what not. The project is just some big load of crap that every freaking professor liked to give out. Teachers here didn’t know what a break means if it hit them in the freaking face.

I focus on the lab equipment in front of me and run my mind through all the different instruments and names. Really anything but the fact that I was going to have to confront Julio sometime real soon. Most likely today.

I feel someone’s eyes on me, one of those weird things you can just tell, and I turn my head a little and peek behind my shoulder to find Nick staring at me. Now instead of the stupid equipment and Julio, all my focus goes to him.

He has on the same white lab coat I and everyone else has on, one of the precautions for being in this class, and his blonde hair is dishevelled and everywhere. It falls in his eyes a little and he sweeps it away with a flick of his little pinky.

I remember asking why Physics needed us to wear white coats, and when Mr. Clark said, rather arrogantly, that we will also explore Chemistry this semester, I never questioned the stupid coats again. At-least Nick looked decent in it.

His chances a glance toward the teacher before leaning forward in his stool. he gets even closer to me and drops his voice to a mere whisper. If Mr. Clark caught me talking to Nick there is no doubt I could be kicked out of my second class of the year.

“Are you okay?” He asks, his eyes searching my face. “You seem a little out of it today.” I could freaking imagine. I had a killer hangover, which involved an even worse headache, that ironically made me need to get a drink every ten minutes.

Let’s also not forget the fact that I owed Julio a thank you. A thank you that could go anyway. For all I know he would expect something from me after last night. If he did, he was going to be greatly disappointed.

I puff my cheeks out a little and let out my breath in one big swoosh. I wasn’t going to let Nick onto any of this. If I did, I could just imagine the embarrassment.

I lean back, getting closer to him, and I look straight ahead as I talk to Nick. Like I said, I had no need to get kicked out of another class. If I did, I probably would never show my face again at this school.

“I had a pretty…late night last night. I got like no sleep and my mind seems to think that it needs to overwork itself.” Yeah, that was pretty lame to say, but it wasn’t like I was talking to Brad Pitt here.

It was just Nick.

He laughs softly at my ill attempted joke and it makes me smile a little in response. Next to me Maria is taking notes on what Mr. Clark was saying so if I missed anything I could just get it from her later on in the day. It was one of the perks of having a smart seatmate in class.

“Maybe you shouldn’t stay up so late Kels. You know, brains need sleep too.”

Okay, that was an even lamer joke. I hold my laugh in and  sneak another peek at him and his blue eyes show a bit of humour in them. This is exactly what I needed. Someone who was willing to make me feel better with lame jokes.

“Seems as if my body is the one with the sleeping problem.”

He looks me up and down before meeting my eyes again. “No problems in sight. As far as I can tell.”

We stare at each other for a moment and I let the smile come through, not being able to hold it in any longer. If he was giving my body a compliment, then so be it.At least it made me feel a little better.

We’re smiling like idiots when I feel something suddenly hit the back of my head lightly. I start and almost fall off the stool but thankfully Nick catches my arm before I do. Confused, I rub my head  look down to see what hit me.

On the black table top  a crumpled paper ball starts rolling and almost falls of the edge. Even from here I know it’s what hit me in the head.

I continue to stare at the crumbled lined paper for a moment before my eyes flick to the one person I know who would have enough balls to throw anything at me. Let alone in class. Let alone talking to another person.

Julio is oh so casually whistling a tune under his breath while his hands are folded neatly on top of his own desk.  He looks innocent, but his little act doesn’t fool me. I can tell by the way he’s avoiding looking at me that he threw the paper ball.

I also know he knows I’m looking at him by the way his lips tip up at the corner, almost in a cocky boyish smirk. His eyes are still on the desk when I grab the paper ball and smile a little. Maybe it was childish, but Julio was not going to one up me.

So he thought he could just throw balls around?

Okay, that just sounded wrong, but you get my point.

Nick is now forgotten for the moment as I pick the paper up and unfold it's crinkled layers . Bringing it to the edge, I try to smooth it out as best as I can.

I grab my pencil and  start to sketch a picture messily within the lines . I don’t have to look up to know that Julio is watching my every move. At first I was going to draw a picture of him with the words DICK in dark block letters but I can be more creative than that.

I top my taco drawing with little pencil slashes for lettuce and  make a big show of crumbling it up nice and slow. Unlike him I want to make sure he sees me throw it right at his perfect stupid head.

I tighten my grip on the paper ball and I cock my arm back, steady and even, and Julio looks up in time too see me rocket the paper straight toward his head.

But with my luck, it never makes it.

Did I also mention that I have really bad aim?

Instead of hitting Julio like I planned, it bounces off some other poor kids head that was leaning over the table and hits Mr. Clark straight in the nose as he was in his usual mid lecture. Mr. Clark stops and looks down to where the paper ball is now rolling slowly under a row of cabinets.

I bring my hand to my mouth in shock and a little to keep the laugh from escaping. If I make one sound will totally know it came from my area. I’m still trying to hold in my laugh when I suddenly hear Julio bust out laughing, not even caring about hiding it.

Apparently he didn’t have the same lame hangups as I did.

I glare at him, clearly trying to tell him to shut the hell up when he flashes me that devious little bad boy smile he pulled off so damn well. Mr. Clark glances between Julio and me, examining us under his nose, and then  points a finger at each of us slowly.

Oh great.

He was freaking pointing.

“Since you two seem to be so acquainted with each other, you two will now be partners for the remainder of this project. You have lost the privilege of choosing. So Kim, trade places with Kelsey.”

No one moves for a span of five heart beats and he drops his voice so he can make his point even clearer. “Now.”

“Are you serious?!” I shout maybe a tiny bit too loud and the charming Mr. Clark turns his hard, beady eyes on me.i totally should have kept my mouth shut and just traded places with Kim. I mean It wasn’t like working with Julio would be bad …okay it would.

He didn’t seem like the type to take anything seriously and I needed an A on this project to pass the class. I needed to make sure my mother never has a reason to question her daughters grades. Already I’m falling behind so the idea of being stuck with Julio ruins everything.

My whole life revolves in being able to be in control and with Julio’s obnoxious, cocky, and sarcastic ways, there was no such thing as control. If I didn’t have the chance to make sure every part of this project was crystally perfect, the chances of it getting anything higher then a C is slim to none.

Mr. Clark walks a little closer toward me and I lean back in my stool. Hey, I was no fool. If he really wanted to be scary he could. Mr. Clark scared the living hell out of me sometimes.

“If you don’t like my arrangement Ms. Mays, you can leave my class.” I lock my jaw and bite my tongue to keep myself from saying anything back. He would probably laugh in my face if I asked for another partner. And if I told him I needed someone who would take it seriously, he would probably say something along the lines of, well then you should have been paying attention.

I gather up my binder in one hand and unhook my bag from the stool with the other. If I was going to have to do this, I might as well go with my dignity. Nick shoots me a sympathetic look and Kim smirks at me as I take my seat next to Julio.

Welcome to Hell.

The man feature today will be one pissed off white girl, one cocky bad boy Mexican, a smirking rat named Kim, and a chemistry teacher who smells like three day old cheese.

Oh joy.

When the teacher finally takes his eyes off me long enough to continue on with his speech, I feel Julio lean in closer, the smell of his rich body soap filling up my already high senses. Why the heck did he have to smell so good? Like mint and something equally spicy.

I look forward, trying not to retaliate, and I hear his soft laughter hit my skin softly in short little bursts of heat. Those little spurts of breath make me thinks things I really shouldn’t be thinking about.

“Why is it that every time I see you, you always seem to be getting yourself in trouble? I like to think it’s the fact that you think I will be your hero.”

I can’t help myself. He’s already teasing me. It’s his fault I’m next to him in the first place. I turn to look at him and see his smile grow bigger, as if he knew I couldn’t ignore him. Yeah, well, I don't think anyone could.

The end of one of his tattoos is peeking out from the edge of his white lab coat, which contracts with his tan skin and black hair perfectly, and I stare at it. I wonder why he decided to get so many tattoos at such a young age? Is it because he wanted them or do each and every one of them have some sort of deep meaning?

Darn, why did he have to look a so good? If he didn’t it would make this so much more easier.  “Did you ever once stop and think Julio that every time I seem to get in trouble, somehow you are always somewhere near me?”

He brings a finger up obnoxiously and starts to tsk at me, as if I was some lion that needed tamed. If anyone needed tamed in this situation it was him. “Ah, that is where you are wrong ángel. You just attract trouble as if it is your middle name.”

“Funny, I thought trouble was your middle name.”

“Want to find out?”

He raises an eyebrow at the suggestion and I make a sound of mock disgust in the back of my throat. He raises another eyebrow at the sound, wondering, and I can’t help but smile a little.Okay, maybe it was a good comeback.

“Why did you throw the paper ball in the first place?”  I ask instead of commenting on his middle name. He leans casually back in his chair, making a piece of his messy hair fall in his eyes.

“I was saving you from Mr. England over there.”

“I didn’t need saving.”

“Mays, if I had to watch him make love sick eyes at you for one more second, I would have needed saving.”

I roll my eyes at how observed he sounds. Nick didn’t even see me that way. Plus if he did, I wouldn’t even know why. It isn’t like we’ve had real intriguing conversations lately.  Folding my arms over my chest, I lean back in my chair.

“You’re crazy.”

A small smile. “Only for you ángel .”

Instead of commenting on that, I look to see if Mr. Clark is around before leaning toward him and dropping my voice. I figured I might as well get what I need to tell him out of the way.

“Thank you.” I finally get out in a tight whisper, sounding as sincere as I can manage. His eyes meet mine, confused a little. He searches my face for a while right before moving forward and softly saying:

“For?”

I swallow the sudden lump in my throat. My god, did he have to lean in so close? I can’t meet his eyes so Instead I look at the table as my fingers nervously make random shapes on the surface. Maybe if I focus on my hands it can keep me from looking up and meeting his dark eyes.

Even though it happened hours ago, it still embarrasses me that I couldn’t control myself in the slightest bit last night.  I should have known better then allow myself to get wasted and to dance with some random guy.

It doesn’t matter though. What’s done is done so I might as well just get done with this thank you thing and move on. The faster I forget the better.

“For helping me at the club. I never got to…” I don’t get to finish before his words slice through mine, cutting them off.

“Never thank me for something like that.” I snap my gaze to him and find him  looking at me seriously, the teasing completely gone.

I nod my head, not understanding why he needed me to know that, but not asking why either. Julio just didn’t seem like the type of guy who liked to be questioned. Actually he isn’t the type of guy you want to talk to period.

We don’t talk after that, falling into a somewhat  comfortable silence as Mr. Clark walks around the room, assigning projects to partners.

I notice that Kim the rat was partnered with Nick and I note to myself that if I see him later today, I will give him my condolences. He deserves it after being partnered with someone like her. Turns out theres worse people to be assigned to the Julio.

I sigh and lean my head on my open palm. This was going to be awhile. Maybe I could get Julio to take this seriously? If I actually think up a good speech I could probably persuade him into going along with whatever I want to do.  Hey, maybe all it takes his flashing him a little boob to get what I want.

I snort a little at the idea of me forcing him to do anything and Julio looks at me oddly. I ignore his look as Mr. Clark makes it to our table. His friendly smile seems to droop when he looks at us, his mouth tight. Yeah, well, I’m not too thrilled to see him either.

I drop my hand and quickly straighten out, turning on the whole more sophisticated Kelsey. He could probably make Jesus straighten out from the look he was giving Julio and me. Let’s just say, it wasn’t too friendly.

He brings his clipboard, a whole lot of red marks on the white sheet, under his arm and I know that he was getting ready for a speech. It’s his signature move when he’s about to rip kids a new one.

I slump a little in my seat, not being able to help it. The thought of getting yelled at just made the headache that I was trying to repress want to come back and I was so tired I felt like I was going to drop.

“I am very disappointed in the two of you. I would like for you to know that I will not take things like this lightly as a teacher of this University. If you would like to stay in this class, you will have to…”

No, I don’t stop listening to the speech because he was boring me.

I don’t stop listening because he was pissing me off.

I don’t stop listening because I already know what he was going to say.

Hell, I don’t even stop because I was getting a headache again.

No.

I stop because Julio suddenly brings his hand away from his side of the table and puts his open, warm hand on my knee. I startle a little, surprise at the contact, and I see Mr. Clark eye me but he continues on talking anyway.

At first I think his hands on my knee because he’s offering his comfort. Some lame attempt at apologizing.  But when I feel Julio's hand lift off my knee, replaced by his fingertips gradually moving down and making circles around my knee cap, I know better.

His fingers are light, smooth, warm, and…and I feel goose bumps rise on my arms and neck, showing Julio just how much his touch was lighting up my skin, making it tingle and catch on fire. When his fingers continue to lazily make small circle, I feel like I’m about to lose it. Such a small touch is seriously messing with my head.

I have both hands on the table in front of me and I know that if I move my hands under the table and tried to stop Julio’s deliberately placed hand, he would make a show of it and make Mr. Clark finally kick us out.

The thing is; I can stop him at any minute. I can end this stupid feeling coming over me the longer he touches. All it takes is one simple word.

… But I don’t.

My eyes toward his and his lips twitch at the corner, him keeping his smile in place so Mr. Clark won’t catch on. It is like he can read my mind. It’s like he knows how much his fingers are burning their way across my skin.

My breath quickens and my heart picks up in double speed when I feel his fingers skate to the underside of my thigh, three inches above my knee. It’s like he can’t help but devour every piece of exposed skin with his hands.

Even though I have jeans on, I can feel his fingertips create a little trail of fire everywhere they land. He doesn’t go too far up, invading my privacy, but he doesn’t stray too far down either. He was pushing me to the brink of no coming back.

He’s testing my limits.

Just when I think he might go higher, he sweeps his hands to my knees again and back, forever teasing.  All I can feel are his fingers running across my skin and my breath coming out in short gasps. The longer he does this, the more breathless I become.

“I like to run a tight knit class here. I don’t like when kids who haven’t mastered the art of adulthood come in here and act as if they ha…”

Just shut up and give us our projects already!

Because while my mind says no, my body says hell yes! Julio must be doing that whole mind reading thing again because I hear his soft laughter as his pointer finger runs up my thigh, over my hip, and to my waist as if following a path that has been mapped out for him.

I squirm in my seat, my skin tingling from his touch. My heart still beats fast and I can hear and feel it pounding in my ears. I feel like i’m about to combust right here, right in front of Julio and Mr. Clark.

Julio leans closer toward my body, and Mr. Clark is still going on with his speech when Julio’s whole hand finds my bare skin, from where my shirt has ridden up in the back.

When I feel his whole hand land on the small of my back, his warm and long fingers grazing my skin tenderly,  I can’t help but let out the moan/gasp I’ve been holding in this whole time. Mr. Clark stops talking and looks at me, his eyebrows drawn together. Oh my god, if he knew what was happening under the table he would have a fit.

“Ms. Mays, are you alright?” Julio doesn’t even give me a chance to answer his question. I feel his finger lightly tread the edge of my pants waist band, his fingers dancing along the soft skin like a faraway whisper.

A whisper my body totally wants to answer.

I have to get out of here. I can’t sit here in silence as Julio affects me the way he's doing right now. It’s been so long since a guy has actually touched me that it’s messing with my mind. I put walls up for this very reason.

I stand up fast, making Julio’s hand drop at his side just as quickl. I look at Mr. Clark, not quite able to meet his wondering eyes, as I talks fast.

“I- I have to go to the bathroom. Bad.” I emphasise the word and Mr. Clark seems to actually lose his words for once and  nods his head, giving me permission even though I don’t need it, and I make my grand escape.

This involves me almost tripping over my stool and landing on my face.

When I get into the hall, I lean against the wall for a minute to catch my breath. I close my eyes against the hard light of sun coming through the window and sigh. That was…I don’t even know. Is there even a word for it? I highly doubt it.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not Miss Virgin Mary over here, but not once has a guy affected me that much without going all the way. Not once in my life have I wanted to have a guy continue to touch me the way Julio was.

It’s different from how every other guy I’ve been with as touched me. All them were demanding, wanting me to give up what they wanted. Julio on the other hand teased and set my skin aflame. It was.. something.

The sad thing is that not once did I think he was taking advantage of me. Making me do something I didn’t want him to do. Not once did I feel like he was the guy from the club. He didn’t do anything I didn’t want him to do.  You know what? This is stupid.

I just met the freaking kid and he was making me gasp?

This is why guys think they have control and I won’t let Julio or anyone else ever think they have control of my feelings again. He’s not going to get a rise out of me. Once he does, he will think he has some sort of hold over me.

Once someone gets into your heart, one they know you care for them, they think that they can just stomp on you like an ant and you will come running back. They think they can break your heart and still expect to be able to hold it at the end of the day.

I can sum up what happened back there in one word: Attraction.

Now, I’m not attracted to Julio, but whenever you get someone like him, running his fingers over your skin, give me a call and tell me how that went. Because I’m sure you would turn into a puddle too.

I mean my mother thinks that the guy at her bank is attractive. My sister thinks the cute guy in her Lit class is attractive. It doesn’t mean anything. It’s just a word.

A word that doesn’t even have to be emotional. Because when is being attracted to someone mean you have feeling for them? It doesn’t. That’s what one night stands are created for.

I shake my head and walk down the hallway, my shoes squeaking on the newly clean floor. The hangover I currently have must be affecting my mind interpretation or reaction or…whatever.

It’s entirely the hangover. All I know is that Julio will keep his hands and all his little tingling sensations to himself for the remainder of the project. If he even thinks about touching me I will... will.. I don’t know.

Drop kick him or something.

When I get into the bathroom, I lean over the sink, turn on the knob, and splash cold water on my face.When I feel cooled down, I brace my hands against the sink and look up at my reflection.

On the outside all I see is brown eyes holding little flecks of gold and  brown hair swept across a forehead. I see a small nose and a little scar on my chin from the time I fell off the swing in third grade.

But do you really want to know what I see when I look at myself? I mean everyone sees something, right? Insecure girls only see the things that they hate about themselves. The things they think the world will hate about them.

Confident people look at themselves and accept what they see looking back, knowing they are what they are and no one has to accept that but them.

People see all kinds of things when they look at themselves, no matter who they are. But all I see staring back at me is a girl who is broken.

I’m strong, yes I know this, don’t get me wrong, but deep down I want what every other person wants. For people to love them for them. For someone to look at me and not see the faults but the bright parts.

Hell, now when I look at someone I can’t even mutter the word love without the faces of all the men who hurt me flashing through my mind. I can’t even put my trust in my own hands in fear that something will come along and destroy it.

This isn’t some kind of confession. If it was, I would be in one of those churches muttering out all my sins, trust me there are a lot, this is just me telling myself who I am and that I need to get over it.

I still believe I don’t need a man and…and…I blame all these thoughts on Julio.

And his sneaky little fingers.

“That idiot.” I mutter at the mirror and when it doesn’t answer back, I flick water onto its surface and roll my eyes. I pull the door open and walk out, collecting myself. No need to have a freak out in the bathroom.

I hear the door close shut behind me and when I look up and see the one and only idiot himself leaning against the wall in from me, my breath catches in my throat. He leans nonchalantly against the wall, arms crossed laily across his chest. Even though he’s the perfect image of ease, I can tell by the way his jaw is locked that he’s wired and tense.

I stop short and when his eyes land on me, images of before come rushing back . I also notice that his lab coat is now gone and his tattoos flash up at me. Designs color his arm in ink and for once his face is serious for the moment. His eyes run over me, up and down, and he nods a little.

“If anything I did back there was…”

I stop him before he can make it awkward. I wasn’t good when it came to awkward situations and I decide to let whatever happen in the class be nothing but a long gone memory.

Yeah, right.

My thoughts can be a bitch sometimes.

I hold my hand up to him. He needs to know that it’s better to just not think about it. “Let’s just forget about that.” Easier said than done, my mind taunts yet again.

Okay, this hangover was pushing me to the point of insanity.  I shake my head to clear it and it is my turn to look serious.

“All I really care about Julio is this project coming up. I really need the grade so can you just for once take something in your life seriously and do a good job?” His lips twitch at the side, indicating that his usual manner is back.

“What do you take me for, a bad guy?” He flashes me his smile that melts girls’ heart everywhere and when I stare at him blanked face, he stumbles back a little and puts a fist over his heart mocking me.

“My heart bleeds from your lack of trust ángel. It really does.” I roll my eyes.

“You’re a bad actor.”

“Nah,” He says, dropping his hand. “It all depends on the audience.”

I don’t even say anything  as I go to walk away. I needed to get back to class before Mr. Clark went on a mission and started looking for us. I’m about to take a step  when he catches my arm, drawing my attention back to him.

“By the way,” He says, deadpan. “I do take a lot of things in my life seriously. Don’t ever think differently.”

He regards me for another moment before he moves his fingers off my arm and walks down the hallway, pulling the Physics door open and shutting it lightly behind him.

So there I am left standing in the hallway, blank minded and wondering what he meant by that very statement alone.

But, I learned from only the short time of knowing Julio, is that you never know what he was thinking.

Because Julio Hernandez is what I call a wild card:

Untamed and too charming for his own good.