My eyes felt swollen and heavy from all the crying the previous night when I knocked the door softly. No one answered and I frowed, checking the time my phone. 3:58 pm. It was the time we'd accorded. Two minutes earlier, true, but they must be there, right?
I knocked again, waited and was about to knock once more time, frustrated now, when the door opened just before my fist connected with the wood, stopping inches away from a human chest. My cheeks warmed when I met Connor's annoyed/murderous glare.
"Oh, h-hi. I'm sorry. I was supposed to meet with your sister and she wasn't opening... How are you? I was just-" I took in his baggy jeans, only protected with a dark hoody despites the freezing weather and my eyes fell to he skateboard stuck under his arm. "Are you going to skate? Oh, I didn't know you like to. Where do you usually go?"
To my surprise, he didn't remove his glare but his jaw jumped. "It's hard to find a decent place."
"Oh," the shock of him actually answering got me dazed for a second. Connor usually ignored me or cut me. "You're so right. All them are full of kids or too damaged to use. I skate as well, do you know? Yeah, but I used roller shoes... either way, I usually go to the old church." I had no idea why I was sharing that with him. To be more likeble to him, I guess? He rose one brow lightly and my stomach clenched in nerves. "I-I mean, I know it's in ruins and all but that kinda keep people away and the back is a cement yard with 'obstacles'..."
"Cool."
And went to pass me without another word but something ocurried me and I stopped him before he walked away. "J-just don't tell your friends about it, o-or it'll stop being cool."
The hem of his lips twisted in the darkest and tiniest half smirk I'd ever seen. "What friends?" But didn't gave me a chance to respond and threw the skate to the floor, getting up and rolling away just like that.
"Alyson?" I turned towards the door again and found Norah there, helding it opened with her hip as she eyed me cuiously. I immediately noticed something was off with her. She was smiling and all but something in her eyes was tained with sadness. Just like her brother a minute ago she rose one brow. "Was he an idiot?"
"What? No." I was quick to recover from the baffledment and shook my head. "He was... surprisingly not mean?"
Norah let out a short chuckle, wrapping her dressing gown tighter around her frame and stepping aside so I could get in. "Yeah, he get less bitter from time to time." once inside I heard fain agitated voices talking fast. Their parents. Arguing. Like they'd been doing dayly for too long according to Norah. She didn't comment on it while closing the door and it was evident in her face she didn't want me to either. So I didn't and instead followed her up her room, as usual the bright pink walls were pretty distracting. I flopped down on the ottoman as she let herself melt on the mattress that bounced under her weight and rested on her elbows to look at me. "So?"
I knew what she was asking but my stomach tightened in a hard knot at the mere thought of it, last night anxiety clenching me from inside, so instead of responding I tried gaining time. "Where's Macy? Didn't we all agree to met here?"
Norah's smile faltered and the sourness in her eyes pronunced. "Oh, yeah." she diverted her gaze and I could only frown. Last night they seemed to be pretty close and all until I left. "She may or may not be... mad at me?"
"What?" she bit her lip and shrugged, which only rose my curiosity. "Did something happen after I left?"
"Well..." Norah, unsure. That was a first. She ran a hand throught her messy pink mane and let out a frustrated sigh when realized I wasn't letting it slid aside. "I may or may not had kiss her?"
"WHAT?!"
"Shh." she shushed me glancing the door, like making sure no one would suddenly barged in uninvited. "More like an attempt. It may or may not had ended with a dodge from the other part. And then it may or may not-"
"Would you stop the 'may or may not'?" I rolled my eyes dragging the ottoman closer and leaning towards her eager to know more. "We both know it's a 'it totally happen'." she shrugged, trying to cling on the playfulness but it was obvious it bothered her more than she was ready to show. I couldn't believe it. "So, you guys did hit it out last night. You... like her?"
"Of course I like her!" she surprised me saying, her brows knitting together as she looked at me again. "I thought I've made it pretty clear. I thought she knew it too but then she pulled away and say... Uh!" she covered her face with her arms and leaned back on the bed, muttering unintelligible things agaisnt her sleaves. "She hates me now, Alyson."
"Oh, no no no." I too her arms and pulled her uper body back into a sitting position. Only then I noticed her eyes were swollen and red, like she'd just or was ready to cry. My heart clenched at the sight. "Of course Macy doesn't hate you, Nors. How could you even think that?"
"It's what always happens! Same old story. In my previous school I too started to date this guy and you know how that ended."
"Kyle?" I tried to remember what she'd told me about him.
"Of course Kyle! That stupid shit head." she whined and laid on her back again, dragging the pillow over her head so her voice came out muffled. "They all treat me like a joke. I'm fun to be around, but then I get too much and no one want to deal with me further than that!"
Oh, dear Lord.
"You're making absolutely no sense." I climbed on the bed next to her and pulled away the pillow, metting her pouting expression and those puppy eyes that looked up at me. "I'll deal with you any day."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Even tho I'm annoying and eccentric?"
"Oh, please." I giggled. "That what make you you. And people who love you must accept that amazing quirky part of you. We're happy to have someone so especial in out lives."
"Especial?" her lips morphed upwards as she let my words sink in. "I am, ain't I? Damn right. I'm motherfucking especial!"
"See?"
Her eyes sparkled. "You people should be at your knees begging me for attention."
Wait what? "Norah-"
"On your knees, mortal!"
"You overtake it there."
"Mh." her lips pursed. "It sounded better in my head... well." she shrugged this in way a better mood than previously and I giggled again when she threw her arms around me and squeezed. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it." I hugged her back and pulled away, relief that now she was in a better emotional phase already. "So," I cleared my throat and sent her a half smirk. "You guys did almost kiss?"
"Uh, yeah." she slid her hands throught her hair with a short sad laugh. "I must had misunderstood the whole thing. I was so sure we both were on the same page..."
"What happen?" I asked carefully.
"Well... after you left we have so much fun and Macy was so pretty, Alyson, so much... it all was going perfect, and the music and everything... I just thought it was bound to happen so I went to kiss her but Macy pull away and say she must go. She was so freaked out all the sudden... and uncomfortable... Damn, I made her so uncomfortable! And half an hour ago she sent me this text." she tossed me her phone and whined. "I don't think she's comming today."
I looked down at the screen.
MACY-BU: I'm sorry for last night. We both had drink a bit too much and werent thinking straight. Let's just forget it, okay? I wouldn't want our friendship to get ruined over it <3
"Uh," Norah stole my attention once more with her grumble. "I never meant for it to end like this mess!"
"Don't overthink it." I mumbled letting the phone down on the mattress and laying beside my friend. "She'll come around eventually." Especially since it's pretty obvious she's into you as well.
She hummed, not that sure, but then turned to her side so we were face to face and sent me a malicious smirk. "Now let's talk about you." my stomach twisted. Shit, that was what I was dreading. "What happen last night?"
I had to suppress a shiver at the memory of Noel. Of his hands, his mouth... all over me. "Nothing."
"Oh, you won't fool me, miss, 'cause this, "she pointed the tender spot in my neck and I immediately shuddered. "Is a hickey."
"No." I covered it with my hair as she grinned.
"It so is, Alyson. Now spill your guts. Was it Lover Boy?"
********************
The old church was hid behind the new one. It got crumbled after an small eartquake that sent the fragil old structure down. Now it's just a bunch of ruins half engufled by the forest that surrounded the east side of the town. I like it here. It's chill. It allows me to think and just let it go.
Usually when I come here I enjoy the low sounds of nature, how the grave cracked under the rollers shoes or how the birds sing in the distance... But no today. Today was one of those days when I had so much shit in my head I rather numb my thoughts. So I plug on my earphones and let the music muffled everything else.
Skating always gets the best of me. Its adrenaline and the way my muscles ache at last, or how the wind grazzed my form, or how gravity bend against speed... It just made me feel unstoppable. And considering everything, that's exactly what I needed in that moment.
Convincing Norah to let it go had been one of the more difficult things I'd ever done. She realized the mark in my throat hadn't been something willing on my part but I shut down the rest. Was I ready to voiced what actually happen in that party? I don't think so. Saying it out loud would only make it more real... and I wasn't ready for that. So far I could just close my eyes and convinced myself it was all just a dream. A nightmare, more likely.
I was still refusing to accept Noel would actually had done something like that, even intoxicated. It was just so fucked up. And Jade just did nothing... I shivered just thinking of it.
Panting, I stopped by the rock where I'd laid my jacked and bag, holding on my knees for support and enjoying the ache of my bumbing muscles. Yes, I love the sensation. It just top everything else. But that numbing rush also was my cue to stop.
Once I regained my even breaths -kinda-, I carefully sat by my belongings, unlacing the complicated knot of the roller shoes. The more I let my body recover from the adrenaline, the more I noticed the cold breeze against my damp skin. I glanced up and frowned when I took in the orange in the sky. Shit! It was later than I'd thought. Guess I should call it a day, then.
Quickly standing after my normal shoes where back on, I hang the roller ones on one shoulder, my backpack on the other and began making my way Granny's. I unlocked my phone, wondering if she would had called or something but I found none calls from her. Instead I got several messages from Macy.
Apparently she wasn't that cold about the whole 'almost kiss thing' as Norah had thought. She was rather as shaken as the pink haired. Only more. She told me she'd been too afraid it was all just another charade from Nors. I mean, really? And ever since our conversation has been me telling her she should be fair and solved the misunderstood only to have her shying away and finding more excuses.
Honestly, the more I thought about them together the more I liked it. It was undeniable they had chem and all. But why had them both had to be so insecure on that? On that specifically? Considering none of them were even a shy character. Ahhh. Life, uh? I highly enjoyed it tho because their drama drowned mine.
Half way home I gave up in changing her mind today when she gave me the thrid excuse in a row. Guess I'd have to play Celestina a bit more some other say. Sliding the phone back in my pocket I bordered the park. At this time the place was almost empty, only random people wandering around, but chill. I love the quieteness. I stepped on the small kerb between the path and the grass, balancing over it like I was walking on a tightrope.
Childish, I know, but fun.
From the corner of my eyes I saw huge dog running, barking happily. Nothing out the usual, really, people came here to play with their pets all the time and I might had ignored it if it wasn't that I saw the animal going pretty determined towards, well, me. The heck?
In a matter of seconds it reached me, stopping right in front where I was standing and forcing me into an abruptal halt. Raising my gaze my frown melted when I took him in. A huge, fluffy, golden retriever I knew all too well.
"Bolt?" my eyes widened but the animal ain't gave me time for the realization to sink in and not wasting time he lifted with a happy bark, so he was on his back legs while his front ones pressed my chest and shoulder. Almost as tall as myself he used that new height to lick everything he founds on its way: my hands, neck, face... and inevitably making me lose my balance.
How could I'd forgotten about Bolt? I'd known him since Ryder's family got him for Brett's tenth birthday. But I hadn't seen him since... well, since three years ago?
Now on the grass , my backpack thrown somewhere, and this huge mass of muscles over me covering my face with happy, sloppy dog kisses. I started giggling, but he get more exited and licked with even more enthusiasm. The more he licked the more I laughed and it became an endless loop. My hands buried into his soft, almost white fur to push him but the animal didn't budge. He'd became huge!
"Oh! Bolt...No...S-stop it... ugh!" I chuckled frantically, I couldn't see anything beyond the ecstatic golden above me. I heard his owner laughing somewhere near. "Help?!"
"Okay, Bolt, here." his voice sounded amused but suddenly the dog was peeled off me and I finally could breathe again. I wiped my face with my sleeve and when I looked again I saw Brett pulling Bolt's collar 'til he was siting, with his tongue hanging out and his tail wagging fast. "Seems like he'd miss you." the auburn joked and I lifted my gaze to met his.
"You still have him?" I was unable to wash the grin on my face.
Brett rose one brow. "Why wouldn't I?"
"I-I..." slowly the high that lovely animal had given me was fading and the more it did the more I realized what was hapeining and who was in front of me. Brett freaking Ryder. Friday's events were still too recent and I felt my guts tightening painfully. "I don't know." I mumbled in the end. Not really knowing what my next move might be. "I missed him too. He's so sweet."
Brett smiled and I swear my heart fastened. "They say pets are like their owners, you know?"
"Uh..."
What was I supposed to say about that? That he was sweet? That he wasn't? Hell! I could easily dig my own grave and that was terrifying.
His grin widened and out of the blue held out his hand. The gesture took me by surprise and my heart somersaulted once more. I stared at it hesitantly, and Brett rose his brows.
"What?"
"What?" I echoed puzzled.
He rolled his eyes and I swallowed.
"Will you laid there the whole day?"
I felt my cheeks heating and I diverted my gaze. I had pulled myself in a sitting position but he still towering over me and I started to feel uncomfortable yet ridiculous. Thank God the place was empty at this time or this would had been ten times more humiliating.
"No?" it sounded like a question and his eyes shone with amusement, his hand still outstretched.
"Then?"
I forced myself to pull everything together and I took his hand. As soon as our skin met an electric chill rushed up my arm, crossed my chest and down to my legs. I fought back a shudder and held my breath as he easily pulled me up.
When I was on my feet again I didn't waste a second to let go his hand and repress the instincts of taking a step back. Something about him was just so magnetic... I couldn't help myself and I hated it! Especially considering our last interaction and past situations. My heart pinched at the intensity of those burning blue eyes and the innocent smile he sent me. "So, what's got you out so late?"
I shrugged, picking up my belongings and his gaze fell on them. "Just skating..."
"Really? You still doing that?" I nodded and his grin strenghtened. "That's so cool. Where do you?"
Why does he want to know? "Around..." I shrugged again, and Brett gave me a knowing look but didn't comment one my obvious vague answer. Last thing I need was to lose one of the last peace places I got.
Bolt whined at his feet and snuzzled against his legs. Brett released his collar and threw a small ball -that only then I noticed was in his hand- back towards the park. The dog immediately ran after it. My gaze follow them, more to have a distraction from what he awaken in me than anything else. I felt like I couldn't concentrate when he was fully focused on me... and at that moment it felt like he was.
My mind was frantic. Was he aware of what happen Friday night? Was he part of it? Of the plot? Did he-
Questions keep bombing my brain and I couldn't trust myself nor him, so there was only one thing that would made me feel safer all at once. "Mh, gotta go."
But he stopped me. "Wait! I..." he bit his lip, hesitantely. His blue orbs were full of different emotions I couldn't quite point at diverting them as his voice draw off. "Fuck, you got no idea how hard this is." he mumbled in a low tone I wasn't sure it was for me to hear before clearing his throat and looking up again, now speaking louder: "I know you hate me."
My eyes widened at his deadpan. Hate him? Maybe I should... after everything. But somehow I couldn't. Even now, I couldn't. How stupid does that make me, uh? I diverted my gaze this time, feeling my stomach upside down and reminding my mind constantly how reckless I was.
"But I can change, you know? I just..." Brett let out a harsh breath, confusing me further with his intentions. " Let's just start over, please?" my head snapped up at the faintly familiar words. Haven't I heard that before? "I..." he gulped while messing his hair apparently out of unease. "I just want us to be friends... again." he specified when I knitted my brows together, a powerful emotion roaming my chest. "I miss you."
I'd definitely heard that before.
Every time he messed up. And I, like a lost puppy, forgived him every single one.
But now the real question, would I fall for it again?
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QUESTION: What should she do?
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