Connor Mendley.
I refused to look up but sneaking a peak through my hair I get a glimpse of him, leaning casually some feet away from the door. He was smoking and apparently he'd been there the whole time, only my tormentors where too excited to noticed. I became even more embarrassed at the thought of him witnessing me like this, especially since I still half naked. I curled even more over myself, my sobs increased unstoppably.
Kill. Me. Now.
"None of your business, you creep." spat Shannon with a fist over her hip.
The rain kept falling, only soaking me since they were under the peak of the roof and if I wasn't so focused on hiding my exposed body and embracing me for what could happen I would had noticed my limbs started becoming numb from the freezing.
Through my soaked flocks I caught Connor stepping on his cigarette to unlight it and pushed off the wall. He's leaving. A mix of relief and disappointment washed over me.
I dared to rose my eyes and immediately regretted it when they met Jade's pale blue ones, filled with hate and disgust.
"I'm done sparing you, whore."
And with that she spun her heels and disappeared through the door again, followed by her minion.
I couldn't understand her deep loathed for me. Why couldn't she just ignored me? Why does she had to hurt me that much? That deep? Every inch of my body hurt and I felt worthless and cheap. Just like she wanted me to but I couldn't help it.
I must get up and off that freezing weather but I couldn't. I couldn't move. I could only stare where they'd disappeared in shock, afraid that they came back for more. I forcefully pressed my lids shut, but not even that stopped the flow of tears mixing with the pouring rain. I was crazy shivering, frozen to the core and my numb arms did a poor job to protect me from the cold as more icy water slid and crashed against my skin.
How was I supposed to reach my stuff, or my locker, or even made my way home? I was half naked, soaked and humiliated.
I sobed harder.
What had I ever did to deserve that? I asked myself for hundreth time.
I ain't heard footsteps but suddenly something warm and heavy covered my bare shoulders and back. My eyes immediately opened wide and I stared in disbelieve the boy in front off me.
Connor.
Didn't he left?
Apparently not since he was glaring back at me with such intensity that I felt it through the tears and rain. The dry cloth on me was his leather jacket. It was lined inside and the leather didn't let the water slipped in. I wrapped it tightly around my shaking form and absorbed the remained heat from his body.
I glued my gaze to the ground, unable to keep the eye contact, completely ashamed and humiliated. He never even talk nice to me, now he was helping me? Was he for real or was that part of another torture? Hesitantly I forced my numb tongue to move:
"T-thank y-you." I managed to stutter but it was a mere whisper, my cries never stopping.
His face features hardened and he help me on my feet almost gently while my knees shook dangerously. I still baffled. Could Connor be gentle? But when I met his eyes again I saw his usually inexpressive cold gaze.
"Why do you have to be so weak?"
And he spun around and left me there and at the lost of support weakness washed over me once more making me kneel once more, clenching my teeth to prevent a whimper. Black dots toyed the corner of my vision. But instead of keep going, Connor pushed the same door from where the girls had disappeared and turned his head to give me the most indifferent glance over his shoulder.
"You're coming or what?"
Feeling all the more miserable at his reminder that I was just pathetically letting the situation get more humiliating I lowered my face, sniffling. It's fine, Alyson. You can do it. Made it to the principal and report it.
And get doubled crossed again? a small terrified voice wondered in the back of my head. Everything in me hurt. My ribs and abdomen, my scalp, my limbs... and on top of that my head felt like clouded with cotton. Not to mention I was halfway to hypothermia by now. I sniffled one last time and nodded slowly, using one hand against the pooled ground to propel me upwards as my other grabbed both sides of Connor's jacket around me.
The whole world bent and my shaky legs almost gave up again when forced me to step sideways to keep balance. Bad idea. It was like all my aches had magnified once I'd decided to stand. But Connor still there and I know he'd get mad if I wasted more time. Indeed, I was bewildered he had waited this long. I didn't understand the reason but wasn't in the spot to drag anyone else's ire towards me today. Swallowing a cry I forced my body to make its way there.
He pushed the door further so I had plenty space to get in and just as I did he let go harshly slamming it shut and advancing out the changing rooms and to the hallways, determined again. "Come on."
Numb, I just put on the auto-pilot mode and stumbled behind his lead. Whatever it was, I didn't had the strenght to opposed it. Everything hurts. Everything crushed my chest down, hanged over like a dead weight. Guess that was why I never once decided to snitch on them before. It gets highly worst when I do. But today... I'd got beaten! Never once that had happen before.
Several students where already around the hallways, wandering around as one period ended and a new one started. Even tho my gaze remain glued to the floor I was almost sure some of the whispers were about me and their weird looks at my appearance burned like lasers. Fresh tears wetted my eyes.
When will all this stop?
My limping got worst and the next time I laid my feet on the ground the sharp pain intensified and climbed to my hip. I would had fallen but right as I stumbled someone was there at my side, helding me upwards with one arm around my back for support. "We're almost there."
I blinked fast, getting rid of the black dots of my vision before metting Connor's harsh one. He was helping me? Why? But what I managed to squeak out was: "W-where?"
His face remained stoic. I mean, did he ever feel? And just a tick on his lips allowed the impassive words to get out: "The nurse." slurred in a duh tone.
"N-no no no please." If this beating is what I got from trying telling on them, what would I get if I do fullfield a report like it sure would happen if Connor bring me there?
The mere thought made me wanna throw up. I felt my chest clenching and not only on the anxiety that hadn't let me breath for the last half hour but also knowing I was forcing him to look out for me. I never wanted this. He's gonna hate me more.
My hands tightened around his jacked, wanting to pull away and not leaned against him but knowing if I did I would fell and cause an even more stupid scene. I sniffled, lowering my head so the damp strands would fall as a blind. "I-I'm so s-sorry."
The slightlest twitch in his brows could had been read as a frown. "Why?" but then he saw something forward and another tiny change in his neutral face drifted something negative... like discomfort? Rage? Hard to read in someone like Connor and considering how off was I at the time. The only thing preventing me from collapsing where his hold and the will that forbid me to look like a fool infront of everyone.
But when I carefully followed his gaze everything broke within me.
There, on the other end of the hallway, was Jade. But she was not alone, oh no. The cheerleader was on her tip toes with her arms snaked around Brett's neck and her tongue shoved down his throat. He got his hands on her hips and both seemed overwhelmed by the passionate moment and my heart and chest ached. I couldn't breathe.
I knew it.
He was into this from the start.
Tears blurred my vision and then everything stopped making sense. I couldn't tell where the floor was or what the lockers' color was. I only felt pain, betrayal and emptiness. All my being was summed up in that.
The word became black and I felt myself falling. A couple of arms held me before everything finally stopped.
********************
First thing I noticed where the merciless pang in my head, as if it wanted to tear my brain in half.
"Oh, man, you're awake." blinking confused I turned to the side, towards the voice. The pain immediately intensifying in the place where my spine meets my neck. Bad idea. "Oh god oh god oh god." This time I recognized Macy's timber and then I managed to focus on her concerned face. "Alyson, hey." she let out a breathless laugh but it quickly faded to welcome worry again. What was happening? She placed one cold hand on my forehead, relieving part of the buzzing but my frown deepened when I took in where were we. Granny's couch, on our living. "How are you?"
"Why are we here?" it came out hoarsly and rasped my throat. I coughed.
"You fainted." she pulled her hand down and I missed it instantly as the unbearable throbbing started harder. "I think you're getting sick. You'd been out for about thirty minuts. And you look... Gosh. Don't you remember what happen?"
Fainted? Thirty minutes? I was-
Suddenly everything come back to me and I tried getting into a sitting position. Key word: tried. The world spun and all my injuried screamed at once, forcing me to lay down again with my friend's help.
"Easy there. Just, lay, okay?" she bit her lip as I winced. "I told them to get you to the nurse but he said... Connor said you begged him not to and we didn't know what to do."
I was breathing fast as I looked around, everything happened comming back painfully and I felt my eyes wetted. Jade had really done that. Her and Shannon... and then she was kissing Brett. It was all a joke for them. I wasn't more than a joke. Just there to amuse them with their tortures. "Where... where's Granny?"
"Not here." she answered and part of me relaxed but as the seconds pass everything hurt more and more. It was as if my injuries wre waking up as well. "We tried calling her but I guess she must be at friend's house or something. Norah was really on the edge and we didn't know what to do so we decided to bring you here and then decide..." she take a deep breath after the rush speech. "I'll go get her, just lay there, okay? You're okay now."
Two minutes later Norah came barging from the kitchen, sliding her phone in her back pocket. "Alyson? Oh fuck me, you scare the shit out of me." she launched to hug me, making me whimper when she indeed squeezed my mistreated limbs and ribs. "Shit. Sorry." she pulled away, searching for my eyes. "I just got a hold on your grandma, she was at Mrs Hitch. She's coming right now. What on earth happen?" I lowered my face, unable to say it out loud but she wasn't done. "Conny said those bitches where pushing you around." my stomach clenched as well as her jaw. "Is it true? Do they do... this?"
"Norah, let her breathe." Macy retook her place on the arm chair by the couch but the pink-haired only gave her a fleeting hard glance before turning towards me again.
"Were they? I swear Alyson if these bruises are from that Stefan bitch I swear to God I'll-"
That's it. I was crying again. Well done. It looked like it was the only thing I could do. "Stop..."
"Fuck!" cursed Norah getting up and pacing around angrily as I wrapped my arms around myself. "I will slap that little bitch so hard her head is gonna spin three time and then I will rip it out. And kick her where the-"
"Stop stop stop stop-" I shook my head. "Just leave it."
"No way!"
"Alyson-"
"No! Just leave please."
"You-" Norah stoped and they both looked at me shocked but I keep my head down, bouncing back and forward in my seat. Silent tears streaming down. "Your not seriously kicking us out."
My chest panged at the hurt tone. "No no its not that. I need to think."
"About what?!"
"Alyson," intervened Macy in a softer maner. "There's nothing to think about. This had gone too far. Their messing with you before but never like this. If Jade really-"
"Not only her." I whispered but jumped when Norah banged the table.
"Then you fucking tell on all their sorry asses and you'll see how they get what they deserve!"
No, no... it's not that easy. I just tried and they kicked me for it. "I need to think" I repeated hushedly.
They share a look, not at all convinced. "I don't think-"
"Please please, I just need some time on my own. It's all too much."
Norah looked ready to camp in my living but Macy genly nodded after the first seconds. "Alright..."
"What?" the other girl sent her a glare. "I'm not moving. Not with her like that."
"Her grandma is almost here, and we're only stressing her at the moment."
"But-"
"We'll come by tomorrow." she stated to my relief and apprehension when her gaze turned to me again. "And tomorrow we won't let it slip that easily." She bended to kiss my forehead and I nodded, brushing the moisture under my eyes.
Norah looked between us, shocked and frustrated. It almost looked as if she could stomped her foot at any moment. "I don't like this."
"I don't care." Macy took her coat and put it on. I struggled to get to my feet, deciding to accompany them to the door if anything. I felt awful for being like this when they had only been worried and concerned about me. They deserved more gratitud from me but at that moment I couldn't even snapped out my shock. I would start sobbing again once they leave. And then I would had to think ho to break the news to Granny.
Oh God, she's gonna freak out.
It took me a second to get my balance, everything pulsing and screaming for attention. The moment I managed to stand straight I get enguffled by Norah's arms. "I love you nonetheless, you know that?" my heart melted, as I hugged her back, feeding in that confort as we moved carefully pass the front door, her yellow jeep in view. "And no matter what, we'll have your back."
"Thanks." I chocked out, now leaning on the porch's fence.
"Don't mention it." he sent me one last hesitant look, then to Macy and then nodded going towards the vehicle. It was clear she was not comfortable at all leaving now but I needed to breathe. I needed to process what just happen and decided what would I do next... And with them here I couldn't concentrate in anything other than what they might think of me if they knew everything.
Macy gently squeezed my shoulder with a sad/concerned smile. "You're sure you'll be fine on your own? We can wait 'til Granny come."
"I-it's fine. Please. I need to think."
The dark-skined girl bit her lip. "We'll be here tomorow." he repeated after a couple seconds. "First thing. And then we'll figure this whole shit out. You'll be fine, okay?"
If only. I thought to myself but outside I managed to nod so she felt sure enought to leave. I watch the jeep pulled in reverse and drive down the street in a trance. What would happen now? What was the next step? everything I do always seems to bite me back.
I couldn't fight back, I couldn't tell... Was I really bound to leave under this tirany for the next months? Yeah I endured longer so far but never fot this level of violence.
And now the girls wouldn't let it pass. Even Connor knew. And the principal... yeah I still yet to gave the proper names, I just hinted at who might be and that might be why they had been called to their office as Jade told me.
Jade...Oh my God, when did she turned this heartless?
I get that she get to dislike me, even hate me, but never once so far had she ever laid a finger on me, she simply remain around as other do. What changed this time? Was it that I told on them? Couldn't be. She was madder than I'd ever seen her. There must be another reason I couldn't point at.
And Shannon... that girl scared me. She was just a nutcase, but tetchy. Proof of that on my arms and hair. To her I was sure I had never done anything, she just hate me because her group does and she likes to let her frustrations go on me.
I was too deep in my thoughts I didn't even realized time keep running and the car that suddenly parked where the jeep had been. I was still leaning most of my weight on the wooden railing, slightly shivering at the cold breeze when I heard a door shut and someone cursed.
"Oh fuck." my heart skiped a beat. It couldn't be. But my wide eyes rose and all color drifted off my face. Brett had this concerner look on and in a matter of seconds had climbed the porch steps and was in front of me.
Not fast enough I stepped away despites my trembling knees weren't at all prepared for that. All kind of panicked thoughts running throught my mind. What on earth was he doing here? I couldn't breathe. My lungs simply refused to work. Wasn't earlier enough? Suddenly I wasn't shivering from cold anymore.
No no no no-
His blue eyes took me in in a somewhat concerned look but I wan't buying anything anymore. Not from him. Not after everything. Not an hour later him kissing the very person that did this. Under his command more than probably. He came waving the white flag only to get me to lowered my defences and then it hits me doubled hard. I shouldn't had trust him. I'm so freaking unbelievably stupid!
"It's true then."
What? Ignoring my state or simply not caring he took another step and rose on hand towards my face. I flinched away in anticipation, my back hit the front wall of the house, arms up sheltering me.
"P-please." it came out breathless and pitiful but I couldn't care at the moment. Not when everything was aching and I felt like I could choke, faint or both any moment now. Where was Granny? "I won't do it again. Just l-leave me alone."
When nothing happened I drop my arms and sneaked a peak at him with caution. Brett was standing in front of me, tensed and looking at me like I'd grown another head. I could feel my stomach so twisted that it hurt.
"What are you doing?"he scowled and took another step but immediately stop when I started crying. For hundredth time today. My hands shaking.
"I'm sorry, please. I'm sorry, sorry-"
"Alyson, chill." either he was actually confused or he was a heck good actor. "I'm just wondering how are you." I gaped at him, not knowing what to door think. He scratched the back of his neck, eying me up and down as I gulped helplessly. What was he playing at now? "I heard that the Mendley boy dragged you unconcious around Clayton and... I got worried. That's all." he ended in a hushed tone, almost embarrassed. The way he talked about it, so causally, even with a bit of concern his tone... made me sick. "What are you apologizing for?"
I struggled to swallow the knot on my throat, not able to take my eyes of his blue ones. Like I was staring a dangerous beast I never know when he might attack. Was he acting carefree for me to drop my guard? I bet! More tears keep falliing and I was sure I was making a hell of a scene but I was just too scared to control it.
"I- I d-don't like it when your m-mad at me." then is when bad things happen.
"I'm not mad at you." he frowned.
"Y-yes, you are."
"And why would I?"
"B-because I told on you."
His eyes widened, like he wasn't expecting that answer, but then he just shook his head and smiled softly. He had the nerve to smile at me! His infuriating gorgeous smile. If my heart wasn't already pounding mad against my rib-cage, I'd bet everything it would had been by now.
Gosh, I'm so stupid.
"You told on me?" he chuckled softly and carelessly leaned against the railing where I was moments ago, too close for me to feel safe. I was about to fully panic in fact. What if he snapped? Where was Granny? "Okay, Lys. What did you tell on me about?" I just panted, staring at him like a deer caught in the flashlights and he sighed frustrately. "See? You got nothing. I haven't done anything so why don't you just stop overreacting and tell me what happen." he straightened again and the sudden movement got me flinching. With irritated him further. "Would you stop? I won't hurt you, damn it!"
He's sick.
"Then why did you..." my voice get weak along the question and fall into nothing. I didn't even know how to describe what happen. I blinked furiously to prevent the tears from falling again. I'm so pathetic.
"Why did I what?" he urged me getting impatient.
"Why did you sent them?" I hardly whispered but he heard me and his scowl deepened.
"Send who?"
Did he really thought I was that naive? Anger fought my fear and dared me to spat:
"S-stop tricking me!"
"I'm not!"
One tear slipped away and I quickly wiped it.
"Liar!"
I went to storm over pass him but Brett wasn't done yet and reached one arm to prevent me to.
"What- Lys, hold on a second..." he gently pulled me back and while doing it pressed the tender flesh above my sore ribs. Pain shot through me like a fire and I yelped holding it. He immediately let go, shocked and stared at me startled. His eyes taking note of everything and darkening at my hands holding my thumbing stomach. "What the fuck happened today?"
The rage in his tone took me completely by surprse.
He really didn't know... Could that be possible?
I didn't dare to totally trust that he wasn't aware of it, not especially since Jade's acts but maybe he didn't expected it to go that further? I wanted to believe in his innocence so bad, but years of experience and our lasts encounters prevented me to. This ache in my chest hurt, though, and I hated it. I hate how blind I seemed to be when it comes to him.
And he wanted to made me say it out loud to... I don't know, humiliated me some other way. Around him I'd always get hurt.
So my next words came out a bit harsh but I didn't care:
"Leave me the fuck alone, Brett. I mean it." the f-word tasted bad in my mouth. It wasn't likely of me to curse but I was beyond myself. His eyes widened, surprised as well at my choice but his lips pursed in a hurt twitch. My throat closed but I didn't let it stop me. "Find some other girl to bother but stay the heck away from me."
"I told you. I'm doing things right this time-"
"I don't want you to make things right now!" I snapped in disbelief. "You've already messed everything up! Too many freaking times! Do I have to remind you about my camera?" my traitorous voice broke at the end and I hated it. He winced involuntary before he could cover it up but I caught it. Good. "Have you any idea how this last course was for me?"
"I told you I'm so-"
"But this had just been the tip of the iceberg. You been bullying me for years!"
"Bullying? Hold on a second-"
"And now you want to mess with my mind again!"
"That's not true!" he also rose his voice and now we were both yelling. Good thing that the street was empty this hour of the day. "Why can't you believe me when I said I want to take it all back?"
I gawked at him.
"Why? You're asking me why?" my fists clenched and I had to bit my inner cheek to prevent me from crying. Today's events still too recent on my mind and on my body. "I bet we both know why."
"I don't!"
"Liar! This is all your fault! Yours, Brett! They cornered me. Is that what you wanted to hear? How they kick me and hit me, all because you made it okay for them to mess with me."
"I-I've never hit you."
"No needed." I scoffed, unable to control the volcano of supressed impotence in my chest. And he flinched, looking at me with an unreadable expression but I couldn't stop. What was there left to lose anyway? "You keep pushing and mocking, you broke me the first and it must had been hilarious cause it's been the main attraction lately. It might had been her, but I bet that's what you've been waiting for so long." my voice broke in a chocked sob. "You s-so wanted this! Me like this. You're sick! And I'm done enduring your crap. You crazy-"
I was cut in the middle of my sentence when he suddenly pull me into a crushing-hug, but not hard enough to make me squealed in pain from my injuries. Oh. My. God! His arms were firmly wrapped around me, pushing me against his hard chest, and I completely forget how to breathe. Something about the lungs right? But he lowered his face to the crock of my neck and I lost the ability of thinking as well. I was absolutely surrounded by him and his warm and scent hit me merciless.
"W-what are you doing?" I stuttered in a high pitchy voice. A part of me was about to freak out, but the other one wanted to close my eyes and let his heat melted me... made me feel safe again.
Disgusted by my own lack of self control I fisted the back of his shirt and pulled it to peered him from me. Unluckily my strength was long gone and my shaking arms did a poor job. I felt more weeps about to break free from my chest and my eyes were already watery. He didn't deserve my tears. He didn't deserve to see how bad he could affected me. I was not fair.
"B-Brett, please." I whispered with a broken tone that I immediately loathed.
I tried to pull away but his arms tensed around me not allowing me to get far.
"I took no part in what happen." He- he's lying. But his statement was firm and almost...pleading? I stared right into his eyes trying to read through him. "I don't even know what happen." Liar liar liar... One of his hands came up to gently brushed my hair away and I flinched when he also wipped my tears -almost tenderly which only made it worst. "I hate seeing you like this."
His gaze was dead serious and that confused me evemore. The whole damn situation was frustrating as hell. Tears filled my eyes and I couldn't prevent them from falling this time. I lowered my face, shaking my head. Everything was just too much. He said one thing, he'd do other. I couldn't always be on my guard around Brett. I couldn't. It was too much for me to handle. Just too much.
"I'm tired of your games." I whimpered not strong anymore.
I was weak. I was pitiable. I was a fail. And I couldn't take it anymore.
I didn't even fight when he cursed and pulled me back in another tight hug. I just closed my eyes and prayed for everything to stop. My head spun and on top of my physical and mental exhaustation from today I also felt my brain pulsing, surely with fever from the cold from earlier. Brett's hands began to gently stroke my back and that warm gesture was actually reassuring. I immediately tensed.
He should be able to comfort me after everything. He had no right. But my body ached to lean into his touch. What the hell is wrong with me?
That only made me sob harder and I buried my face in his shoulder to hide me from him. Brett was the last person I wanted to see me breaking down like that. Even after Jade or Noel. But there I was, crying my heart out and letting him hold me. Hold me!
"I'm not playing any games here." he said in my hair while kept rubbing circles along my spine. "I don't know anything and if I had I would never let that happen."
I wanted to trust him. I wanted it so bad but I'd already been hurt so many times before.
"How can I believe you?" I stuttered against his collarbone and he tensed but I already was at the bottom, I was not holding back now. "You'd n-never gave me a reason to."
"I know, Giggles but- but I swear I didn't know." my lids closed harder at the stupid pet name. It was actually ironic he was calling me 'giggles' at my lowest moment. leaned his head sideways so his cheek pressed to mine and another shudder ran my spine. Only this one was different from the others. "Fuck, your burning." he really sounded concerned. Why couldn't he just be transparent? What should I believe? He let out a sigh and the warmth of his breath feelt good on my skin. "If it wasn't for that creep of Connor-"
"Don't." my eyes flushed open and I pulled away from him, Brett finally allowed me to. He looked at me confused and his hands stay for a second in the air before he slowly pulled them down to his sides, fists clenched. I shook my head and took another shaky step back. The word spining around us but I was determinate this time. "Don't bring Connor into this. Don't called him names."
"What? Why?" His features hardened. "Did you two-"
Whatever his mad supposition might had been I didn't let him finish.
"He didn't do anything to you. Don't you dare to lower him." Connor hadn't been exactly a nice person, even when he brought me through the hallways he never changed his expressionless face, but he did something in the end. He helped me. I felt more tears as I though about the whole experience again. "He was the o-only one there when... when she-"
"She?" Brett's eyes darkened and he took a step. "Who did it?" I stared at him struggling to not gawked. Does he think I'm stupid? "Alyson?" his voice was demanding and my chest tightened with rage and disbelief.
"Who do you think?" I snapped and he frowned. Really? More ache rushed over me when he didn't answer. Two options: he was tricking me again or he found my harassment enough meaningless to actually be oblivious at his most loyal and enthusiastic minion's whereabouts. And either ways were horrible. "S-stop playing me. You know who!"
"I don't-"
"Cut the bullshit." my head felt unusually light and I had the feeling that if I heard another word from him I'm going to get sick. Twice hard I mean. So instead of letting Brett tricked me all over again I backed more and glared at him ignoring my shaking limbs. "I said it before but maybe this time you'll listen: I'm done with you! I don't want you near me. Just leave me the fuck alone!" I yelled leaving him baffled and confused -also hurt maybe?- before spinning my heels and limped inside my house.
********************
QUESTION: Marry, kiss and kill: Brett, Noel and Jade. What would you do?
Don't forget to comment, vote and share.