"Hi." I grinned as I opened the door and came face to face with Connor. To my surprise, he was kinda dressed up for the occasion. True to his style, he didn't wear a suit -no surprise there- but he was in his black jeans -the ones without holes in them- a plain dark shirt and his leather jacket. His hair also looked less disheveled than usual, but it could be my perception.
When I asked him to the Spring Ball I had been so sure he wouldn't want to come. And he didn't. But with some convincing he finally agreeded begrudgingly.
I smiled at the effort he put on it and, let's be fair, it showed. "You look good."
He hummed, detached from emotions as usual, but his eyes slid over me, burning me from head to toe. "Likewise."
I scoffed, a little deflated at his flat compliment. "Likewise? You're not even going to say it back?"
The hem of his mouth curled upwards as he took the challenge and he stepped closer, completely on my personal space as he towered over me and I was surrounded but the lovely citric scent that followed him everywhere.
"You," his fingers traced throat, his thumb blanched my skin as his palm reached my shoulder and it brushed sensually over my exposed collarbone. "You look beautiful."
"Thanks." I barely hear my own voice and there was a glint of satisfaction in his eyes before he captured my lips for a short kiss.
It felt more like a promise, dark and dangerous; but he pulled away too soon and it was as if the world began turning once more. My head spun and I felt light, fuzzy.
I never seemed to be prepared for him. And we both know it.
I blushed and stepped aside for him to come. I could tell he was taken aback by me letting him in when we were supposedly to march straight towards the school from here and the red in my face hardened. "Oh, mh, yes. C-could you step in for a second? My grandma-"
"Is he here already?" came Granny's voice lowering the stairs. "Come in, come in, I'm ready for the pictures. Bring him to the fireplace."
Connor's brow perked in the slightest to my mortification and mouthed: "Pictures?"
"I promise I had no idea!" I rushed in case he thought I'd set this up. "She..." I cleared my throat, fiddling with the skirt of my purple gown. "She w-wants to do one of those typical pics before we go... b-but it's okay if you don't want to. I-I can tell her that-" but he cut my nervous ramble with a shrug.
"It's fine."
I let out a relieved breath. "Thanks, come in then."
Granny was super excited about Connor, not seeming to mind his lack of reactions or straight face most of the time. She had been all over him since he first met her, and I was really glad she approved so much. Not because it matters to my feelings, but I just loved that she was so happy about us.
And also I got to say, for Connor, he was being nice to her. He let her snap a couple pictures and didn't do anything openly rude other than being all closed off... but well, this was Connor after all.
I was actually pleasantly surprised at the warm way his hands keep me close and let me hug him for the pictures. His solid presence kept me grounded and lured Granny into liking him more.
Connor was barely the cuddling type when we were alone, in front of a third part I was almost sure he would be uncomfortable but he wasn't. I was afraid this would push Connor's limits a bit too far, but despites mild signs of discomfort he went along with it, not really talking but it wasn't like Granny was giving him a change, babbling excitedly about how much fun this night would be and how we would treasure it for the rest of our life yada- yada-yada.
I felt my face flushing every time she hinted we were going as something more than friends and, just like with Connor, it wasn't as if she was bothered by what I had to say about it.
We were going as more than friends. And we were ore than friends. At this point I had accepted that the label might not come anytime soon. It clearly makes Connor uncomfortable. But ever since we talked in the computer room, ever since we said the L-word; he's been more form about me, giving me the place he wouldn't a allowed a tag to.
So I wasn't his girlfriend, but I was his girlfriend. It sounded weird, I know, but I finally felt valued and he went out his way to have the small details he would never allow before to make me feel cared for.
But there was no way i could explain it to Granny properly in a short talk and it felt too personal to openly have a discussion about it. So she just knew we were friends and kinda something more.
"I'm so sorry." I mumbled once we finally exited the house and made it to the car -Norah's yellow jeep.
She had gone to Macy's to prepare together and walked from there since she lives rather near Clayton's campus. We were supposed to meet them there. They invited me as well, but I had just enough time to get back from work and fix myself.
Connor would drive there so at the end of the night we'd had a vehicle. Norah'd wanted to rent a limo to be honest, but I knew that would make a significant hit on my college savings and Macy wasn't that much fan of the attention. So we were stuck to the jeep, which was perfect to me.
"It's fine." Connor shrugged, not bothered now that Granny intensity was over. I mean, I love her; but to someone like Connor, she can be a bit too much... even though he must be used to it with her sister's personality.
"She just got excited for me, you know? It's like she's living her senior year as well. She tends to get involved and loves to-" my babble filled the air, almost like a tune over the harsh music on the background. I didn't know if Connor was listening to me or the song, since he keeps nodding while his thumb drummed the rhythm on the steering wheel. Maybe both?
My nerves only made an appearance once we reached the school's field and the beaming of the music come to us as he pulled into the parking lot. A lot of other vehicles shown the high amount of people would be attending there. Social anxiety made itself present.
"Okay," I mumbled more to myself than to him, glancing at the decorated entrance that had balloons and garlands on it. "Let's go. Ready?"
"Wait." he suddenly stopped me and when I turned to glance at his ever present stoic face he gestured to the glove box.
"What's in there?" that earned me a look of exasperation, as if saying 'open and see, will you?' "Okay, okay..." I bit my lip opening it gingerly, not knowing what to expect, but as soon as I did my jaw hung up in bafflement. I took out a plastic box with a wrist corsage matching my gown's color. I smiled at it, touched and surprised he actually listen to my babbling about the ball and took the time to go buy it.
As if sensing my thoughts, he gave me a stern look, taking the plastic package and opened it without much of a ceremony. "Don't make it such a big deal."
"Okay," but it didn't wipe the smile from my face as I hold him my wrist and he tied it around. When he was done, I inspected it and felt my heart fluttering at how much I love it. "It's beautiful." I leaned over the gear stick and kissed his cheek. "Thanks."
He nodded, unbuckling as if he was uncomfortable with the attention and got up as I giggled. Inspecting it again. Connor circled the car to my door and pulled it open for me. "Come on."
The way inside was illuminated and decorated and as soon as we stepped into the building the beam of the music trembled in the environment along with my guts. My nerves burned alive again the closer we get to the gym, making me feel unease and instinctively I stepped closer to Connor, my arm somehow linking with his. He gave a look and I smiled shyly, but felt more confident when he didn't push me away so I took a better hold.
"Aren't you nervous?" I wondered with a small giggle. Surprise surprise, Connor shrugged. "Of course not. When are you ever? I-I'm always. Well, you know. But it's normal. This is kinda a big event. And everyone will be here, and there's a lot of pressure too, right? With the yearbook and being our senior year. Oh, God, you do realize they will take more pictures of us again? And they'll put it there and it'll remain forever in everyone's yearbook..." ,u chest clenched and I halted our steps on the verge of entering the gym. "Hold on, I'm not ready, we can always go back-"
But to my surprise Connor stopped me from scurrying away, taking my hand and rolled his eyes. "We're already here." and pulled me the rest of the way there.
Simple words. As always. But there was a steady firmness in there that eased part of my nerves.
We get in the cue forming at the entrance and I was surprised at how friendly people were being. Guys I hadn't ever spoken to, smiled and waved at us. When we made it to the front they took our tickets and made us step in a large green screen for the picture. Connor was beaming, but he held my waist posing.
I bit my lip to suppress a smile at his expression -or the lack of it. Bet he was already regretting this.
When we moved out the line I hugged him, standing on my tiptoes. "Thank you for coming with me." I knew he didn't want to, and to be honest, I wasn't into big balls either. But this was the spring Ball. Last event before Prom and Graduation, and Norah and Lydia had done a great job convincing me. I pressed a chaste peck on his lips, fiddling with this vulnerable feeling at every display of PDA, but it was worth at the way his lids fell and his shoulder relaxed. "I'm glad you're here."
"I love you."
I still wasn't used to those words, feeling them hit me like a train to my chest and I grinned. "I love you too."
Connor rolled his eyes, probably at how cliche we were being but his mouth lightly tugged like hiding a grin too and his head dipped to kiss my smile.
"Let's just get over with this." he took my hand away and dragged us to the borders of the gym where the light was low and there wasn't as many people.
The gym was all charming and amazing, I gawked around in awe. The lights were red and purple over us and they had tangled some of those Christmas lights across the ceiling so it looked like a bright night sky.
The warm light bathed the bare wooden floor in a lovely inviting way. They had placed benches and chairs on both large sides, and it was all sewed up with a huge poster saying 'Spring Ball' across the front stage. The DJ table and all the way across from it, and most of the students were parading the large tables full of food and plates so each one serves themselves.
It was all simple, but cute. It didn't look as lame as I thought it would.
"It's beautiful." I breathed out. Connor shrugged, unimpressed. What a shock.
I followed Connor's lead through the dancing students and to the large table with food. My brows knitted together.
"So here is where you've wanted to hide? You didn't peg to me as someone who would wander around the food. More like the mysterious one in the corner. Maybe causing trouble with someone or- Oh my God!" I gasped as he took out a silver hip flask from his jacket and dipped the content on the punch. "What are you doing?" I hissed as he hushed me.
"Watch if some teacher is heading this way."
I glanced around, sure I wasn't being as subtle as required but with the drumming in my chest I could barely think. "You're spiking the punch?" he eyed me pointedly and I could almost read his mind 'Does it look like I'm doing something else?' "That- that's forbidden."
"Then made sure they aren't looking."
"Unbelievable..." I shook my head, but did as he said, not feeling safe until he saved that silver item and filled a plastic glass with the punch content before handing it to me. "Are you kidding?"
He rolled his eyes, but let it down and instead and me over a bowl of crackers instead. I wasn't sure we were allowed to take a whole bowl, but was more than eager to get away from there so I didn't protest further.
"Come." he said and we moved to the furthest bench on the corner, where we had a perfect view from the gym, but we weren't anywhere near the spotlight. "You worry too much." he suddenly pointed out when I took the seat beside him, settling the bowl on the spot beside us.
"Easy for you to say." I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "You shouldn't get people drunk without them knowing it."
"It's a party punch. Those are always spiked." he pointed out nonchalantly. "It's really light, don't worry too much."
I eyed his empty hands. "You aren't even drinking."
He gave me a plain look. "I'm driving."
"Right. Then why spike the punch?" I asked boldly, curious indeed. If he didn't have any intention of taking it, why waste time and money -and my nerves- in it?
I swear I could see the corner of his lip twisting. "Because it's so much fun seeing others get drunk." he glanced around and his eyes sparkled when he spotted something. "Look," I followed what he pointed with his chin. "Somerson."
Confused, I followed his direction and saw James Somerson tipsily struggling to dance straight, leaning on poor Tania Lopez. I tilted my head, slightly amused at his clumsiness. "You think he's already drunk?"
"From the moment he first stepped in." he nodded. "He tried to kiss Mr Flou when giving the tickets."
"He didn't." I covered my giggled with one hand and turned to look back at Somerson, noticing then that his friends were as well not in their best. "Oh my God, look at them."
"That wasn't my doing, tho. A lot get off before even appearing." he shrugged.
"Look." I gestured a couple serving themselves from the punch. "Poor things. Who do you think will notice it first, him or her?"
"None." and I got to give him that when both drink as if nothing was wrong.
The little angel on my shoulder warned me this might not be the best idea, but the demon said it wasn't that bad. The hip flask wasn't even that big and the punch was huge, so it really couldn't cause any damage. Just a bit tipsy, right?
"Stop worrying." he scoffed as if reading my mind. "They would sober up in an hour or so. Chill."
He was right. This event would last two more hours minimum, so a little glass of spiked punch won't be that bad. Besides, they would probably have a lot worse once the official event was over and they party for real.
"You're twisted." I said and he smirked.
We joked a bit more about them and I give in in taking a sip of the glass. I regretted immediately and Connor scoffed a laugh as I choked and ringed at the awful taste. I honestly didn't mind having been kept from it 'till now. We talked -we mostly I did- and teased the DJ awful taste. I mean, they weren't horrible, but they certainly weren't good. They were danceable, leave it at that.
"There you are!" we turned towards the voice and saw a pink dot moving through the sea of moving people before we were assaulted and almost tackled by some really effusive hug. Norah's knee-length simple dress was the same tone as her hair and she was like an elegant cotton candy. "You made it! We were almost expecting you to back out... Well Macy was."
"Was not." the girl stood by our side, frowning at Norah, who was still clinging to us. Her cheeks darkened. "I was just pointing out that maybe you've decided not to come since neither of you seemed, um, excited about this."
"No matter how many times I said it, fashionably late isn't in Macy-bu's vocabulary. You own me a dinner."
My brows knitted at Macy. "You bet we wouldn't come?"
"No!" The dark skinned girl blushed to the tip of her ears. And glared at her partner. "Norah." but she was too busy curling over her stomach in laughers to care.
Back to his stony expression, Connor nodded towards her sister and walked past us, unbothered. Macy followed his retrieving back and sighed when he was out ear-shot. "I don't think he likes me." she mumbled.
"Bullshit." waved Norah. "Conny doesn't like anyone."
"But he likes you. And he definitely likes Alyson." pouted Macy. "It's me he can't stand."
"Along with the rest of the student body." Norah rolled her eyes. "Don't worry about it, M."
"How not?" she fixed the strands of her beautiful green gown, pursing her brows in cute distress. "He's your brother."
I smiled at the family drama they were hinting to. As good as a personal soap-opera.
"Exactly. You're dating me not him, for fuck's sake." Norah linked one arm with each one of us. "Come, have you voted yet? Here, come see the booths we've prepared?" and pulled us to the end of the gym, after the catering table where some people were gathering around the blinds that hide the ballot box. "Aren't they cute?" Norah pointed the names of the candidates on the pamphlet on the table for the contestants to take. "I help making them."
"Really?" I inspected the neat typography, impressed. "Nice."
Her smile widened. "I know, right?"
"No surprise here." Macy took hers as Norah urged us to the queue. "Everything you do is always beautiful."
"My my, Macy-bu, I might blush. Are you trying to get lucky tonight?"
I muffled a giggled as her eyes widened. "Shut up." but Norah wiggled her brows.
"'Cause, you know, you only have to ask..."
"Norah!" she whisper-yelled, fully blushed and she glanced around as Norah laughed. "Don't say such things here."
We vote, for Lydia, of course. And then let Norah shown us proudly all their work in the gym. As I said before, it looked good. They really had a lot of work here and it looked good. The music had begun to blast when the tour ended and she tried to drag us to the dance floor. It seemed like the place was filled to its top by now. Everyone seemed to be here, but as I scanned the place I realized the football team hasn't arrived yet.
"Alright suckers." Norah rolled her eyes. "Let's dance?"
For the glances they were giving each other I get that they wanted to dance but not exactly with me.
"I, uh, I think I should go look for my partner." I said, taking one step backwards so they didn't have to dismiss me.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, go dance yourselves." I gestured to the filled dance floor. The DJ had already come to the stage and was putting better music people cheered for. "I'll see you in a bit."
Norah smiled gratefully and pulled Macy with her as she waved at me, her cheeks rosy. They were so cute. Did Connor and I look like this in their eyes? I blushed at my own thoughts.
I was kinda jealous, to be honest. Even is things now were clear, Connor would never openly look as smitted as they were. And even if I was reassured now about what he felt, I couldn't help but yearn for him to grow comfortable enough with showing off. The I-love-you when we arrived was a step, but the fact that I couldn't even spot him anymore now made me sigh.
I guess he was uncomfortable in here. Like he said.
One last glance where Norah and Macy were now being all cute and I decided to scurry to the restroom. The music here only came as a muffled beat, but I smiled when noticed they had put some garlands in here as well. I washed my hands almost in a daydream and checked my reflection, adjusting the dress and hair. I honestly was proud of how I look. It took me like an hour of preparation, but it was worth it.
I don't usually wear dresses or nice clothes and I could tell by the way Connor had eyed me before, by the warm way he traced my spine and keep giving casual touches that he wasn't displeased at all.
The door clicked and a new girl pushed it entering the place as well, distracted I raised my gaze and my blood froze when it connected through the mirror with an icy green one.
Jade halted abruptly after the first step in, her first moment of surprised covered quickly with a glare. Even in her delicate princess-like gown, royal blue, she looked ready to chew me into pieces and spit the rests. Her makeup was spot on, but as much as she had covered most of it, it was still visible the now light scab on her lip.
Panic and guilt clenched my stomach at her sight. After what Noel mentioned about the picture and her not ranting about me to the principal, I had assumed we had fallen into a mutual silent agreement to mind each their business. I hadn't expected to see her again, but now I was cornered once more.
The door clicked shut softly behind her as we both stared each other cautiously. Her, us alone...
Her eyes narrowed in two thin lines.
"You." she spat and took one step adrenaline shot through my veins and I matched it backwards.
"Stay away from me."
"Or what?" she laughed, but there was nothing funny in that sound. The snarl immediately after as she eyed me up and down made my spine stiffened. "You'll punch me again?"
"J-Jade, stop." I grimaced, but didn't even bother to correct that I didn't 'punch her', that was besides the point here. "I'm sorry about that, but y-you started it and this... this is getting old. I d-don't know what I ever did to you, but c-can keep treating me like this. I haven't done anything!"
"Anything?" her eyes beamed dangerously and she took yet another stride. "You just don't get, do you?"
"Get it?" I gasped in disbelief and felt the sink pressed my behind, I grabbed it forcefully, searching some kind of support. " Get what? As far as I know you're the one who's kept making my life miserable."
"Me? Ha! What a joke." again she laughed, but it only gave me chills. "You fucking ruined everything!"
The hatred from her tone was so dense I felt each word like a painful stab in my chest. Enough, I'd got enough of this and if I was getting bold in some aspects in my life, why not apply it in others? I shook my head and pointed one finger her way.
"Y-you keep saying that, but you were the one who turned against me. You, Jade." it was weird to remember we've been friends at some point. Well, 'friends'... More like her gaining turf to dig her claws on Brett. A competition I never even had the guts to enter. I shook my head, my chest tight and hot. "I'd always stayed out your way, but you didn't seem like to let it go."
"Let it go?!" she exploded and I flinched, memories from her ambush in the changing room filled my mind.
I straightened my back.
I've stood up to her once, I chanted to myself, but my heart was pounding mercilessly.
Jade, either way, didn't seem bothered a bit about my fear at her advances or our last quarrel; she was now blinded by rage. "How was I supposed to let go went you were always there? How was I supposed to make him fall for me when you got him wrapped around your fucking fingers."
Whoa, what? I frowned. "What-?"
"Do you have any idea how hurt he was after you little whoring? I could have fixed him. Love him, but you didn't let it go and just had to keep playing back and forth. Messing with his mind 'till he completely fell."
"What are you talking about?"
My question seemed to infuriate her even further and I immediately regret opening my mouth. Jade looked like steam was about to come out her ears. "Always playing the victim, making him follow you like a lost puppy, and pushing him away like some dirt on your shoe. You're just a little slut dressed up like Virgin fucking Mary."
She remarked the last statement with a push that sent me backwards, but I caught my balance in time not to fall. Panic and confusion were fighting inside me. She couldn't be serious with that. Not really. But her eyes said otherwise and my tongue suddenly felt heavy.
"Do you have any idea how it feels to love someone who'll never return the feeling? And to know the reason he never will is 'cause some bitch's having fun toying him non-stop?"
"I didn't-"
"It doesn't matter how good I could make him feel. In the end he just wants your shitty ass and it drives me nuts. At first I thought he'd noticed me when we first started to hang up, but soon enough I realized for him I was just his friend. Worst: I was his best friend's friend."
She chuckled humorlessly and for a moment I felt sorry for her. But then the cold of her stare reminded me everything she'd done. Worse: she'd just admitted she only hang up with me for Brett. Jade was never my friend. Even though it'd been a long time since we 'were', I felt this realizations like a shower of cold water. Tears started forming in the corner of my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. It was painful, but she didn't stop there:
"When you two finally split was like a sign. I was finally able to get to him, but was like trying to appeal a brick wall. Brett'd only got eyes for you."
"How's that my fault?!" I snapped ignoring the heart curling sensations I got when Jade said that. "I'd never asked for it!"
Her gaze was harsh as a blade and I got the feeling she could do something wrong.
"Yeah." she shoved my shoulders again, backing me forcefully against the sink. Cold sweat ran down my back. "You surely didn't." Push. "You-"
"Stop!" I shoved her off me, surprising both of us, but when she was forced backwards and away from me so she had to reach one hand to the wall for balance. I panted, buzzing with a new emotion curling my guts. "I'm done with you treating me like this. I'm sorry if he doesn't love you, but that's not my fault and I've got enough of you. I don't like him. I didn't ask for him to like me, and you can't blame me just because he doesn't notice you."
Her eyes widened, shock and anger swirling in them, but I also swear I saw the hurt in there. Satisfaction and excitement at finally telling her off filled me, but I also knew better than to test my luck in a lonely place by myself. The door opened again and a couple girls entered. I took that as my chance to exit the restroom, back to the crowded gym.
The cheerful loud music coming from the speaker was like dipping into a different pool, all the tension in there seemed none existent here. I quickly scanned the place and spot a sparkle of pink right before my arm was grabbed and forced me to spin.
"Here, listen you bitch." hissed Jade under her breath, so low only I could hear her. "You seem to forget I still have a certain picture of you." my stomach curled in a painful knot. "Wouldn't that be a shame if it gets released?"
She was lying. Noel said they got it deleted. But even if she wasn't for once I forced myself to not be intimidated by that for something they did wrong.
"It would." I gulped, struggling to sound surer than I felt and played along. "It also would be an evidence that you still harassing me. You would get expelled again. For good this time." she frowned. "I could also sue you for distributing minor's pornography if you ever think of spreading that and you're already eighteen, Jade." her grasp loosened and I snatched my arm free. "I've told. I got enough of you. From n-now on you'll leave me alone or I'll make sure you get what you fucking deserve."
Jade looked at me with hatred. Her lips parted, but nothing came out and she closed them again, pressing them into a thin line. I could feel the crazy thumping of my heart as I anticipated her reaction. She surely didn't look happy, but there was a hint of frustration there. And hurt.
She knew I was right. I held the power somehow. This was a first. A good first, but it felt damn good. Even more when she glanced at our surroundings and her eyes hooded back at me. Her jaw clenched giving me a wicked sense of victory.
"Fine." and she walked away.
Jade. Walked. Away.
I panted, watching her mixing with the crowd. Had I actually won? Relief replaced the previous awareness and my limbs suddenly felt like jelly.
Oh my God. I'd stood before her and won. Well, kinda, but this felt way better than reaching a breaking point and slapping her. Way better.
"So," I spun, startled at the sudden voice, and come face to face with Connor, who perked one brow. "You can actually swear."
"You- you were here this whole time?"
He shrugged. "I thought I'd let you handle it your way."
My jaw loosened and I felt a smile tugging my lips. "But you were ready to help me?"
His stare remained blank for another second, the he rolled his eyes, but I was fully grinning now. Beaming with satisfaction and happiness for finally having stood up for myself. And knowing Connor had my back, even if he wouldn't admit it out loud.
"Thanks." he didn't answer but I didn't expect him to. I brought my arms around his shoulders and stepped closer, still high on this power. "I love you."
He smirked, barely, and bent to steal a quick kiss from me, making me burn from head to toe and curl at his will. He had me empowered just by being there and I became so much stronger and sure these past months that I didn't feel like the same weak crybaby that started Senior Year. Well, I kinda was, but not that much.
"Can we go now?" he wondered only for us to hear and I almost laughed.
"Let's stay a bit more?" I pouted and his eyes fell there, making me hot all over. "Just a bit? I want to see Lydia snatched the crown from Jade."
"Twisted." he taunted, using the same word I called him earlier and his hands came around my back making me feel tucked into him. "I like this side of you."
I giggled, standing on my tip toes to kiss him again and then he sighed, allowing me to pull him through the crowd and towards the girls as they were calling for everyone to pay attention and as the nominated for King and Spring Queen made it to the stage.
********************
It was incredible. Lydia did win and there was something mischievously pleasurable in seeing Jade fail.
Did that made me a bad person? Twisted? Honestly, I didn't care.
We didn't stay much longer after that. We'd been arround for what it mattered, but people were already wanting to party and get wasted and it was only a matter of time until they closed the school and then everyone would be going out at once looking for a place to keep up the party. I'd heard the after party was at Hunter's place, but parties weren't really my thing and Connor didn't look like he wanted to endure more social interaction.
We went for a walk, talking and just enjoying ourselves. And to make things more romantic, it started raining at some point and we looked like the cover of some cliche movie. I loved it.
When finally arrived to his place a little before midnight, drenched and laughing -me, Connor smiled, controlled- but I felt light, so light. Macy and Norah were going to be in the first's house so we left them the car keys unlike planned and Connor had said I could stay with him. And I really didn't want to part now.
His parents were away tonight as well, some other final couple retreat but for what Connor had said they were difinitely going to separate, and Norah had confirmed it as well. I felt bad for them, but Norah played it cool and Connor barely talked about it -I was surprised he even accepted it.
The place was dark when we got in and Connor moved to put in the safe code in the alarm as I closed the door behind us, feeling how the cold drops glid down my skin and dress, pooling at my feet. I pulled my hair off my shoulders, but some wet strands stick to the skin of my neck and jaw, probably making me look like a wreck.
I giggled. "I'm sorry about the mess."
He smirked but didn't look bothered, more like amused as we entered the living room. As I said, we were home alone, but sitting at the table was a folded note with Connor's name on it. He took it as I watched him reading it curious and saw the way his jaw set. His fist closed, crumbling the note into a ball and dropping it at his feet as keep walking as if nothing and as we were holding hands I was tugged after.
"What was that?" I glanced over my shoulder towards the messed paper, but Connor was relentless and pulled us upstairs. "Is it something bad?"
"Just a possible therapist date."
"Possible?"
He huffed, getting us in his room and sliding his free hand frustratedly over his hair. I took the wrist of his hand holding mine with my other and stepped closer. His mad pulse pounded against my fingers and he blew out a harsh breath falling into his desk chair and with our close hold making me step between his parted knees. "They scheduled me a date tomorrow."
"Oh, well... that's good?"
He's been kinda unstable these last months, with his abuser early release and his parents now splitting, and his soon leave for LA... Was therapy really such a bad idea?
His flat look told me he thought so. "I don't like talking to people." he repeated what he said before about this topic and I nodded.
"But this isn't people and it might help you." his left brow twitched and I shrugged. "Come on, what's the worst that could happen?" I slid my hands through his wet locks softly and his lids fell. "He might give you some great tips to handle your emotions and get through it smoothly." Still with his eyes closed he breathed out a harsher breath and smiled lightly. "What?"
"You calm me."
I loved to hear that. Very much. I feel like I was swelling and glowing as he spoke lowly those words. But we both know that wasn't entirely true and I need to be logic about this.
"No, I don't. You trust me around you, so you feel save enough to drop your guard. Ergo, you calm yourself." I shrugged.
He eyed me for a long second, as if measuring me and my stomach fluttered when at the end his lip twitched upwards, shaking his head as he glared forward. "You gave me too much credit."
"Or maybe you just don't give yourself enough."
He pressed his lips and I had this feeling he was suppressing a smile, looking away from me and forward instead. "I'll think about it."
I grinned, letting him pulled me 'till I was siting in his lap sideways and let my arms come easily around his shoulders, leaning to kiss his exposed collarbone. His breath hitched, encouraging me with that quiet acceptance.
"I said I'll think about it."
I smiled, turned on that I too could have such a strong reaction from him. "Yeah, I know." and I kissed another spot a little over the previous one. Slowly and taking my time and then kissed his neck and the pulsing vein there.
My hands slid with his soaked clothes, pressing harder than I intended and he gasped. Just then making me realize two things: he hadn't protested or shown any signs of discomfort until now, and two: we were thoroughly wet from the unexpected rain. I probably looked like a mess.
"You okay?" I wondered readjusting my position in case I did trigger something. Instead of responding his arms came around me to keep me in place just in case I was thinking of getting up and I got my answer there. I smiled, brushing my hand through his long locks backwards and pushing them off his face. Drops falling from us to the ground and soaking the spinning chair he was in. "We're messing everything."
"So?"
Yes, Alyson, so what? but it was so hard to keep my train of thoughts going on with the warm feeling of his hands on my thighs and all the body contact we were currently having. Tonight it all felt different. Well, everything had felt different since he said he loved me the first time. Like taking a final step and there was no need to be unsure anymore.
He tilted his head, as it rested against the back of the desk chair and I realized he was waiting for my answer.
My cheeks burned, retaking what I was saying and hoping I didn't look too awestruck or dumb. "We should get dried."
"We should live together."
"What?"
Had I heard him right? It was all so out of the blue, it felt like I couldn't process it or understand the meaning behind such simple words.
But Connor shrugged one shoulder, like it wasn't a big deal at all.
"Next year. I've been thinking, and if we both would be in LA I see no reason not to."
Right, because I finally got the scholarship. I got the news yesterday and still couldn't wrap my head around the idea that I made it. So far I'd only gotten the confirmation by phone and we were waiting for the letter with all the specifications, but I'd made it to the USC. I felt like a dreamed come true.
And Connor, he said he wanted to move to LA, and as the course came closer to an end, he'd been planing to move there in the summer with Trevor to see how that works, starts looking for a job and stuff. I was kinda disappointed me the we wouldn't be together during the summer, but he were both moving to LA, meaning I get to spend the summer with Granny and the girls, who I would miss terribly next course.
But moving in? I hadn't contemplated that, but it looked like Connor had given it a thought or two. Wasn't that a big step?
I looked at him carefully, attentive for any reaction, but he looked calm, chill. My heart doubled it's beats.
"You mean that?"
He nodded. "If the scholarship don't cover the dorms, you're either paying for a shared room or we could look for an apartment."
I smiled, it sounded all too good to be true, but there was also the usual problem: "I don't have so much money."
"I have enough for the first year," Connor said nonchalantly, making me remember the whole fighting and betting in the outskirts of the town was precisely to save up for his moving. "And once there I'll work and you said you'll look for something as well."
I did. Whether the scholarship covered it all or not, once in LA I would be on my own and Granny wasn't in the best situation to send me much so I will be looking for a part time job. Maybe waitress or paid internship... or both. I had assumed my college time would be overwhelming, especially knowing if I didn't keep up my marks and do also a photography course I won't be offered the scholarship next year, so ahead of me were four of stressful years. Still, I couldn't be more happy about it.
I got to study a vet degree. In USC. That had been what I wanted since the beginning.
And living with Connor? I shuddered just thinking about it.
"That is your money-" I started hesitantly, but he scoffed.
"I would put the initial payment and the deposit, but if we move in together we'll be splitting the upkeep."
Splitting, building together a place for out own.
I grinned. "I like the sounds of that."
"Yeah?"
"Yes." I kissed him softly and he melted a little against me, turning me into this fuss ball of nerves and emotions. My fingers tangled through his damp hair and out clothes were beginning to feel cold and uncomfortable now. "About getting dry..."
He huffed, his eyes amused, but he leaned backwards against the chair. "What?"
"We should get changed or something."
"Or something?" he repeated and I blushed at my stupid choice of words, but it was hard to concentrate when he just offered to move out together. He smirked as if reading my mind and this buzzing in my chest increased all the more. "Suit yourself."
"Can I borrow your clothes?"
He shrugged and I went to move, but his arm tightened around me and keep me there. Then said, as if having a last moment thought. "Put on the black shirt." The black. One with the word MAYHEM written in red all across from it. He'd let me have it some other time before. But I was surprised by the specific request. As if reading my mind, he smirked and whispered in my ear. "I like it on you."
It was hard not to shiver at that. At how low his voice was, at how alluring his touch and words felt. At how I was about to sleep with him again. We'd done it so often now it was weird the night we didn't spend together. Convincing Granny had been the hardest, but after the first couple times sneaking in it didn't feel right to keep it from her.
But tonight it felt different. More intimate and dense. More hot.
I moved towards the wardrobe and pulled open a known drawer, seeing all his shirts nicely folded inside. My eyes scanned them quickly and easily spotted the black one he wanted me to wear. I took it and called over my shoulder.
"What do I get you?"
"Whatever." was his lazy response and I caught a glimpse from the corner of my eyes of how he opened the room's door and disappeared. I frowned, taking clothes for me and him and moved back to the middle of the room just as he came back with two towels.
"Ah," I relaxed back into a grin. "You're ahead of me."
"Always."
I laughed at that, but when I went to grab one for me he kept it out my reach tilting his head in amusement and only when I dropped my hand, he smirked; and holding each towel end with one had, he pulled it around me and used it to make me step closer. The soft fabric brushed my bare shoulders and Connor used it to wipe my arms, spreading warmth.
"Can't I do that myself?" I wondered but I was actually loving him taking care of me like that. It was sweet.
And I can tell he thought the same as he smirked and brought the towel up my shoulders and neck, drying my skin and gently brushing my hair. With him standing before me and his arms around this felt almost like an embrace. My fingers clenched on the soaked fabric from the bottom of his shirt and standing on my tip toes I pecked his chin.
"I'm trying to get you dry." he said not giving in and too tall for me to reach his lips if he didn't dip his head.
"I know." I kissed his jaw and he breathec out, but I was surprised when he pulled away and dried my face. Startled, I gasped as he brushed my cheek with the cloth. What a way to turn the moment off. "Hey."
"If I dried you, and you touch me, what's the point at all?"
My cheeks burned, wasn't he hilarious? But he did have a point under all his unticlimactic amusement.
"Fine," I pushed his hands and took the towel. "I'll just do it myself then."
He rose his hands, claiming innocence, but his lips' curl held so much taunting it was almost like he was laughing. He was trying to get a rise out of me. Like usual.
He stepped back, unbothered at my playful glare and sat back on the chair. The other towel was around his shoulders, but he made no move to help himself at all, instead he leaned back eying me as I wrung my long hair.
"Are you just gonna look at me like that?"
His brow perked. "Like what?"
"Like that." Making me hot and bothered, almost like his touch was still on me even if it was now just the caress of his eyes.
But he smirked and slouched further against the back of the chair. Daring me. He was playful today. Because the Ball he's hated so much? For the perspective of moving to LA soon? Just because?
I couldn't tell the real answer but it was spiking and cute.
Now I would usually go change in the bathroom or Norah's room and be back to him finally dry and changed. We might fix us something to eat or put on a movie and just let the night charm engaged us. But like I said, today had felt different.
I felt different.
And if he was so knee in getting under my skin, I as well could have some fun finding his boundaries.
Sending a mental prayer to find the actual courage within me, I let the towel around my shoulders as well and reached for the gown laces on my back. Connor noticed what I was doing as I fiddled with it and something swirled under his orbs.
"What are you doing?" his voice was enticingly low, making goosebumps arise down my arms but despites his controlled tone, he instantly leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs -almost as if to get a better look. And part of my shyness mixed with the excitement that I could still caught him by surprise.
"If I'm trying to get dry, I doubt the soaked dress would help." I was glad I didn't stutter, but I wasn't that sure he would have noticed or even heard me. His eyes had lowered to my figure and I only got a hum in response.
Finally undoing the laced, I feel the cloth loosening around my torso and as it shifted I realised how much the wet fabric weight as if tugged down. Slowly, I let the gown slid to the floor, not even caring it it crumbled. It was already messed up with the rain and right now I was way too distracted with how his eyes dipped and took in everything.
I was extremely aware of all the skin on display. The only protection offered by the towel on my shoulders and the simple underwear. No lacy, or fancy; just the most normal, plain white panties and strapless bra.
I'd never been this exposed in front of anyone in years. And never with someone that wasn't family. But, surprisingly, I didn't feel shy. I love how his eyes roamed on me. Making me feel sinful and wanted.
Biting on his lip Connor reached forward and tugged at the hems of the towel, making me stepped the remaining distance between us and over my discarded gown. I breathed out slowly as he held my gaze, gently tugging at the towel and letting it fall too, depriving me from it's protection and making me burn. I felt his fingers on my left hip, closing alluringly around my waist and pulling me back before him.
His eyes were deep on mine as I stood half naked between his feet, attentive to see if I would regret it, but strangely enough, I feel less afraid and more daring the more this stretched, contrary to what I would have first expected.
When Connor convinced himself I wasn't running away anytime soon, he allowed himself to look at me. I shivered and his dark eyes met mine once more, growing even darker.
"You're extremely pretty, you know that?"
No, I didn't, but right now I really felt like it.
His hands roamed almost hesitant on my burning skin, closing behind the back of my legs and making me stepped even closer.
"What now?" I whispered, unable to speak louder than that, but in this bubble around us it was clear enough for Connor. More, my sudden cluelessness seemed to amuse him.
"What do you want?"
My fingers traced his hair and shoulders, mesmerized and feeling every inch of skin to skin contact. Wanting more. More? Was that what I wanted? I was so naive and inexperienced in this that I bet it was laughable.
"I... I don't know." I confessed lowly fiddling with the collar of his shirt, soaked and glued to his skin and the dark ink lowering in complicated unknown patterns down his chest. "You?"
I was half terrified this was the wrong answer for two main reasons: One, that I might be embarrassing myself; and two, that this might push his boundaries too much.
But his lips curled slightly pulling like that at the strings of my heart and taking with them my remaining embarrassment. "You want me?"
He stood, easily towering over me and I didn't even realize he'd backed me until I felt his desk preventing me to step further. His hands moved down my hips and he lowered a little to help me eased so I was sitting on the surface and I felt like I could explode as our head leveled and he stood between my parted legs.
"So?" he teased in that irresistible low tone resting his hands beside my hips and leaning close, so close all in my personal space so my bare skin prickled and his breaths fanned my lips. "You want me."
That didn't sound like a question, and I could only hum, too dazed to compose a proper sentence. I almost flinch as one cold drop fell from one strand of his hair to my thigh. Making me realize he still hadn't made a move to solve that.
I straightened my neck, squirming in the spot as everything in my wanted to give in, but at the moment I decided to shove his own words in his face, preventing his intent of kiss from happening and pushing at his chest softly instead. "If I've dried, and you're drenched, what's even the point?"
"Oh really?" I could feel my skin burning, like a blush everywhere. His eyes sparkled, tilting his head, but not at all backing down. "What are you gonna do about it?"
I smiled, similar to what he's done before, I took the towel from his shoulders and brushed his hair backwards, grazing sofly his neck and enjoying the way his skin glistered and how his muscled moved under it. I bit my lip, when I was done with the towel for the moment and fiddled with the hem of his shirt.
Should I tell him to undress? I wanted him too. Way more than I should. And I realized just then that I'd never seen him shirtless before.
"Can I? I mean," I tugged at the shirt bottom and my knuckles grazed the hot skin of his abdomen, making him shiver. "Is it okay?"
He hesitated for a second before nodding and I braced myself, fisting the fabric for a better grip and straightened my back as the ball of excitement in my guts swelled as I lift it up. The wet cloth slid easily over his smooth skin, revealing more and more patterns of ink over the flawless sculpted muscles.
My stomach clenched as I pulled it over his head and he shrugged off his arms with one swift movement, throwing the cloth somewhere in the room.
My eyes followed the draws in his torso, all black, but each different. Doodles and words laced together down the flat muscles of his chest and stomach, leaving more free skin down his abs and navel. I could feel my mouth drying as my finger moved across his shoulders.
"What?"
I looked up to see him watching me watch him. Cautious. I grinned. "You're beautiful."
He rolled his eyes at my cheesy words, but he was barely holding back a smile when he leaned and kissed me hotly.
His bare chest pressed mine and I shuddered at the incredible feeling, making me dizzy and needy at once. Needing more. My arms closed around his neck to pull used even closer and his hands traced my naked back.
My skin felt hot and too tight, making me buzz and swirled as I years for more and this grew exponentially. His lips parted mine and his tongue stroke mine earning another needy sound from the back of my throat.
With some extra courage, I slowly undid his belt, getting rid of his also damp trausers that slid down easily and he kicked them, shifting me closer without stoping the kiss.
It slowly grew more and more intense, it felt like a moment stolen from time, but I became unaware of the actual passing time. It could be ten seconds, ten minutes or an hour; all I knew was that I kept fluttering in strong emotions that built up and to which he responded with equal want.
Connor pushed at my knee, parting my legs more and his hand came to test the waters, brushing the sensitive skin of my lowadbomen down, taunting the verge of my underwear. I could feel my head spinning as he pulled away enough to look at me. Waiting for permission. Unable to speak proper words, I nodded, holding on his hard biceps and I moaned when his fingers teased me over the thin fabric.
Apparently satisfied with that, his mouth dropped and sucked on my throat and the world bent as my focus wavered. We've never gone that far, but it was like I couldn't even think to stop, halt or any other nonsense.
This was good. Great. Amazing. I was drowning in my own delightful glee and couldn't seem to care about being a prude or what lines was I willing to pass. For how incredible this was feeling, I could have crossed all of them and wouldn't regret it one second.
His shoulders tensed as my finger traced his chest, needing him closer, flush and hot. He shuddered, but there was an extra tension in his muscles and I forced myself to slow down. Even his hand came to a stop on his wonders down there, moving to my thigh instead and I grew aware of his rapid breaths. Maybe we've pushed it too far?
"Hey." I kissed his jaw, bringing my hands back to his shoulder, knowing that was a safer place and he shuddered against me. "Do you remember the safe word?"
He eyed me for a moment, as if brought back something swirling under his orbs, intense; but quick and his whole demeanor changed at once. "Yes."
Before I could even process what was different, his hand urged my legs to wrap around him and hopped me off his desk. I gasped at the sudden changed, but before I overpowered the sense of vertigo he dropped me on his bed, easily climbing on top of me.
Torn between surprise and the excitement of his hard body hovering mine, I barely registered how his hot skin felt pressed delightfully against mine as his hand curled around my throat and I gasped at the restriction.
"Do you?" he said back, so lowly my toes curled and I felt like exploding. My hand moved to cover his, but he took it with his other and held it against the mattress by my head and the room spun behind him. All I could focus on where the deep dark pools of his eyes. "Do you remember the safe word?"
I nodded and the uncomfortable pleasure increased, sending more of those chills everywhere and I shuddered under his body, very aware how he lowered to fit between my legs and pressed me down with his weight. I burned and consumed arching my back unconsciously to press us closer. Impossibly close.
His breath hitched with mine and somehow that was almost as sexy as his hands and body on mine. "Say it."
I shook my head and his eyes darkened. I couldn't help the shameful moan when I felt his teeth grazing my lower lip before biting on it. It was verging pain, but only dancing in the borders and instead allowing and intense pleasure and aching anticipation to boil under my skin when he rolled it in his mouth.
I couldn't breath properly, but I couldn't tell if it was for his hand on my neck or for everything else.
Unable to grasp anything, my free hand closed on his lower back and my legs wrapped around his hips. This inevitably brought them lower against mine. I shuddered as he leaned with the movement and ground against me in the most delicious, dominant way. Fireworks ignited under my lids and this time, whatever sound I could make died in his mouth as he kissed me intensely.
Everything was Connor. Every touch. Every inch. I could only feel, sense or smell him and I love the secluded world we'd just now created for ourselves. Like nothing else mattered as he moved again and more pleasure built and built as he shuddered over me and my legs tightened as he pulled again, breathing hard against my lips.
"So?" he panted, still waiting to see if I reached a limit and called 'Red' on this.
No way in hell.
I smiled, swelling from inside out at the both emotional and physical delight. My hips raised to create that friction again and my hand on traced up the ridges of his spine feeling the goosebumps on his skin.
I arched my neck to cross the half inch meet his lips once more. "I love you."
He groaned, kissing back hard and making me see stars. If this was him 'ruining me', I didn't mind it at all.
"I fucking love you." he said back, gaining back his power and letting me lay there and take it.
And I did.
And this time when we kissed there was no restraint left.
There were so many ways to intertwine with someone, and that night I sealed my fate with Connor in every way possible. Because he was the one that brought me back together and bring out the best of me. And at last, I felt ready to be myself in every way possible.
Connor made me feel nothing but beautiful, wanted, safe and loved as he stripped me piece by piece, literally and metaphorically.
Until there was nothing but us.
Until we were nothing but one.
Against all odds, Connor Mendley was mine.
And I was his.
The school was almost done and a whole new life was spreading in front of us, waiting for us to face it...
Together.
THE END
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QUESTION: Say whatever random thought here:
I can't believe this is over *sniff* I honestly think I like better this version. I just ship Alyson and Connor even in the original book LMAO. I'm kinda sad this is over <3
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