xx | promise

Jai felt like his breakfast was threatening to make an appearance. He rarely ever got sick and now that he was feeling queasy, solely because of anticipation and worry, he felt like a weak man. Of course, only Ishita could turn him into a quivering mess of nerves. This woman... this fucking woman owned him without even trying and he didn't want to fight it.

He focused on the document opened on his screen, reading through the reports. His eyes ran over the words but his thoughts fluttered back to Ishita. He couldn't wipe the image of her in that black dress on the night of his father's birthday party. Jai barely held himself back from shutting her feisty mouth with his own and hauling her into the darkness. She was a menace when it came to his heart. A lovable menace.

Two knocks sounded from the door and Jai's head perked up. His heart thundered against his chest. This was it. This was the moment he was either going to become the luckiest man alive or be sentenced back into the lifeless prison he'd created for himself. "Come in," he said, barely getting the words out. Just when he was going to repeat it again, the door opened. In walked Ishita.

She was clad in a linen black blouse and an olive green skirt. That fucking skirt... Jai didn't think he was going to live through today.

"Hi," she told him, rooting right in front of his table. "Good morning. You look... green. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Did you have breakfast?"

"Veer stayed overnight in the apartment. He made breakfast and coffee. The coffee he makes is too good to let it go for a waste," she said, shrugging. Veer was Sahana's boyfriend. His ex-fiance's boyfriend. The one she had left him for. But Jai didn't feel a thing except a tingle of happiness for Sahana.

"That's nice. Sit down," he said, pointing at the chair across him. Ishita surprised him by dragging the chair around to the side, just like she did when they shared lunch. When she sat, he could get a whiff of her fruity perfume. So familiar and addictive.

"Let's talk," she began, moving her bangs out of her eyes. "Can I start?"

"Yes, please," he croaked out. Oxygen was hard to find.

Her hands kneaded themselves on her lap. This was the first time he was seeing Ishita nervous. Guess it's the same for both of us, he thought, a little to his relief; he had thought he was overreacting. "I thought about it. Very well, in fact. I realised two things. One, I don't like myself very much. I know, hard truth to face since according to everyone who knows me, I'm Miss Confident but turns out I have been insulting myself a lot these days. I don't know when this started but this self-deprecation has become an unconscious habit so I am not sure -"

"I can love you enough for both of us until you learn how you can love yourself."

Ishita blinked at him. her lips parted and closed. "That's... I did not expect that. Thank you."

She is not rejecting my words, Jai thought immediately. His spirits lifted.

"And second, I am terrified." Ishita was breaking her walls. With it, she was too. Tears glazed her eyes.

"Of what?" he asked as gently as possible. He wanted to take her hand and pull her near. Closer. He hated it when she cried.

"Of losing you."

Her words froze him.

"I am terrified that once I give us a chance and it doesn't end well, whatever we built till now gets destroyed as well. I want to preserve it. Our bond... whatever we have between us... it's precious to me. I connect with you in a way I've never connected with anyone even if we are polar opposites," she forces a laugh, "I mean, you are the last person I thought I would end up liking. And here I am."

"Here you are," Jai echoed, still processing her words. "You didn't think you'd be here and yet here you are. You don't think we will make it but what if again you are wrong?"

"Trust me, Jai. For once in my life, I'd do anything to be proven wrong," she said, her hands clasping the edges of the chair. There was an urgency in her voice. "But I need to ask you something. Can't we have a shot at friends if we break up? Will you be able to give me that?"

"Ishita..." Jai leaned back and sharply exhaled. "You have no fucking idea how much I worship you. If I get to have you and lose you, I'd be a fucking idiot. And I am certainly not one. I can assure you that. But, if at all, worst case scenario, we breakup, I can't be friends with you and pretend I don't feel like my heart is getting shredded into dust whenever I look at you. I cannot do that, I am sorry. As much as I want to, I cannot."

Ishita tucked in her lips and glanced at the floor. A tear slipped across her cheek. Jai thought to himself, this is it. This is when she walks out. I blew my chance.

She looked up slowly, wiping her tears, surprising him with a small smile on her face. And that smile... it shined through her sad face. It was like the fucking sun.

"Then do you promise to be this honest with me all the time? Even when you are sick of me? Even when I become a burden?" she asked.

"If, Ishita. Not when. If you become a burden. If I am sick of you. And though that's not going to happen, I can promise you," Jai said.

"You mean it?

"I don't break promises." He smiled.

Ishita sat in silence for a minute and finally said, "Okay."

"Okay?" Jai's eyes widened. His heart raced. He needed to check if he was thinking the same thing she was.

Ishita nodded.

Jai reached for Ishita's hand and intertwined them. "I can do this and not get yelled at?"

Ishita nodded again, a smile on her face.

He hooked his ankle around the stem of her chair and tugged her close to him so that their faces were inches apart. "I can do this and not be pushed away?"

A nod and a grin.

He took her chin by two fingers and looked into her eyes. They shimmered with desire. With affection. With fondness. Without breaking eye contact, he tilted her chin and pressed his lips against hers.

Fuck. So soft. "I can do this and not be slapped?" he whispered against her lips.

"Only when you don't do it in front of the other employees," Ishita murmured.

He smiled and then kissed her gently, taking his time pouring in every little drop of longing that he experienced for the past few months. Ishita's hands slid against his chest, pulling him closer by his shirt and moving to hook around his neck. With one quick tug, Jai pulled her off her chair and onto his lap. "And I can do this?" he said, closing the gap once again with a smirk. "And this?" He licked her lips and when she parted them, he teased her with his tongue. She fisted his shirt when he pulled away, a familiar annoyance on her face.

"Yes, you asshole," she said, grasping his collar and tugging him closer. "You can do anything and I'll be ascending to fucking heaven if you kiss like that."

His pants suddenly felt tight just at the implication of her words. "Anything? That's a dangerous thing to say, Ishita," he whispered, brushing the shell of her ear with his lips.

"I know. And that's exactly what I meant," she said. "Now, shut up and kiss me before your other employees start arriving."

"Gladly."

a/n: it's difficult confining their story to text. i want to write about every single detail, bring it alive with descriptions. but we have only a few more chapters left! so, don't be surprised if you find more narration than texts especially now that they are together.