Chapter 10: Chapter 5, Part 1

I nearly burst out laughing. It was just so inconceivable and random that I actually had to pretend I was coughing so I could let out the trapped laugh before my mouth did something I might regret later. I finished my unconvincing coughing fit and took a couple of deep breaths. “Well Eoin,” I said, locking eyes with him, “that’s really kind of you, but I’m really sorry, I already have a team.”

“You don’t seem to understand-” he began.

“I’m just on a bit of a break for them at the moment is all, you see.”

“Yes, Miss Indy, but-”

“And I feel so bad if I gave you all the wrong impression; you all seem so lovely and it’s just awful of me to have strung you along like this.”

“That’s hardly-”

“I mean, I should absolutely have known, right, I should have seen the signs – asking all those personal questions, chasing me all the way up here… It was all right there, but instead I let you think I might be interested in, like, joining a team. Gods, I’m a terrible, terrible person.”

“This is not-”

“I know I’ve already said this but you do all seem lovely, it’s just that I’m not looking for another team right now, and I know some people are happy to share, but I’m just not that kind of person, and I don’t see that changing soon. I could never double-time my team, you know?”

“Now listen here-”

“So even though it’s so lovely of you, I’m just going to have to say no. And I get that it’s such a cliché, but it really isn’t you – it’s me. I just hope we can all keep being friends. Just because we’re not teammates that doesn’t mean we can’t still hang out and-”

“ENOUGH!”

That was such a clear win for me, but I was once again impressed by the control he’d managed to have over his emotions until that point. Some of the others were definitely taking advantage of Eoin looking at me instead of them to giggle at his expense though, so I put another mark in my mental ‘wins’ column. Eoin did not look as amused as everyone else. He sighed loudly (and a bit melodramatically, in my opinion) before speaking. “I’m glad we could all get that out of our systems,” he said. “So if we could now push ahead with what we actually came here for, that would simply be amazing.”

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“Sure thing,” I said, heading towards the stairs.

“For Freya’s sake… what are you doing now?” He sounded tired, emotionally drained by this whole affair – a sure sign I was winning. I stood most of the way up the staircase, turning back to address them all. I had a podium, and it was lecturing time. “Look,” I began, “I’m still not entirely sure what is going on, who you are, or why I should apparently go with you on whatever it is you’re doing.” I held up a hand before anyone could interrupt. “And that’s fine. I have no interest in being dragged along somewhere against my will, but I have even less of an interest in trying to fight a bunch of people, getting beaten up, and then dragged along against my will anyway. I assume,” I went on, looking at the non-Eoin people, “that if he ordered you to, you’d do that? I don’t know what your relationship is, but I’m going to guess there’s some leverage involved?” There were a few guilty looks and a bit of awkward shuffling, but nobody actually contradicted me. “Great. So if you’d all give me a moment, I’d like to make a suggestion.”

“I love suggestions,” said Tove.

“And I would much prefer it if this could all be resolved amicably,” said Nalfis.

“Fine,” Eoin gritted out. Alf just looked bored.

“Perfect,” I continued. “So. I can’t speak for you guys, but I am not fond of the idea of climbing all the way back down however many ladders we just came up. I also don’t really know how you got in, but any time near those feet increases the risk of getting squashed by them, since it’s clear this isn’t stopping.”

“Is this going somewhere?” Eoin asked.

“Of course,” I smiled, “just setting the scene first.” It looked like he was about to yell something so I kept going. “In short, my proposal is that we keep going up.”

“And why, in Odin’s name, would we do that?”

“I’m getting there. Basically, as far as I can tell, we’re nearly at the top already, probably somewhere near the collarbone,” I gestured to myself with my left hand, before realising it meant I was pointing my cannon at my throat, and nervously put it down again. I saw a few nods though, people clearly agreeing with my assessment. “I honestly think,” I continued, “that there would probably be an escape mechanism of some kind at the very top.”

“Why?”

“Logic.” I shrugged. “Think about it – if this is the top, it’s probably where it was commanded from, so where all your most important people would be. There are a lot of ways that something like this could probably have been damaged or attacked, so if I was designing this, I’d want a way out if it all started going wrong.” I went right to the top of the stairs, and pressed my ears against the door. I could still hear the high-pitched whining, along with the crackling noises, which told me those orbs were still waiting there. How irritating. I straightened up, and tried to look as pompous and regal as I could for this bit – mostly by copying Eoin. “My proposal is thus:” I declared, “we open the doors, dispense with these… floaty things, examine whatever’s above for signs of a swift exit, and if there is none to be found, we begin the journey down again. Any questions?” I asked, finishing by confidently gazing at the back wall, not meeting their eyes and imagining how heroic I seemed. In my peripheral vision, I could see several hands going up.

“None? Excellent.” I turned back to the door, levelling the barrel of my stave at it. “Then let’s begin.”