Chapter 33: Chapter Thirty-Two

I need not fear my enemies because the most they can do is attack me. I need not fear my friends, because the most they can do is betray me. But I have much to fear from people who are indifferent.

Nikolai

Petrov

I have two new girls to send when you are ready, they are complaining of stomach cramps. I trust you'll take care of the matter.

Nikolai

The clinic is closed until I return.

Petrov

Say hi to the Italian bastards for me.

Nikolai

I wouldn't provoke the very beast that stalks you, but to each his own.

Petrov

I have no interest in the Italians anymore… business is too good without them sniffing around. Shall I send the girls?

Nikolai

I'll text Jac, she can inject the first treatments.

Petrov

Kiss my daughter.

Nikolai

I thought that was against the rules of our agreement.

Petrov

A little bird told me it didn't matter anymore. Tick-tock, Nikolai, will you confess your sins? I await your return to Seattle.

I didn’t text him back. That was what he wanted. I knew he couldn’t prove shit, but I hated that I felt nothing but guilt and dread the next morning, instead of excitement.

I should feel content.

Instead, I felt sick.

I was at Andi’s funeral, gripping Maya’s hand as tightly as physically possible, and all I could think about were those brief moments of pleasure in her arms and how I wanted more.

How, if I was given the choice eight years ago, I would have still been in the same damn position. It had always been about her. It always would be.

And I could never tell her how important she really was to me without exposing my secrets, putting her in danger, and making her hate me forever.

I released her hand then rubbed my fingers along the inside of her arms where the scars remained. Six cuts on each arm.

Twelve cuts total.

All but two were lateral.

Made with glass from the car she supposedly crashed.

The fragments of glass were pushed into her arms to make sure that they looked like they had landed there and then the cuts were made.

The perfect plan.

For seeing something she should have never seen.

The perfect plan, for forcing an eager twenty-three-year-old into a tyrant’s service.

~“A trade.” Petrov shrugged. “Your father said you agreed.”~

~My father lied, which meant he must have owed Petrov a lot before his death. But Petrov never collected in money, he collected in blood.~

~Regardless of how rich I was, I would never be able to pay the debt.~

~“Of course,” I lied smoothly. I was so damn good at lying, at making anyone believe anything, that it was almost boring. “What would you like me to do Petrov?~

~“Did I say I needed an accountant?”~

~The hairs on the back of my arms stood at attention. It wasn’t good, or it wouldn’t be good.~

~“I’ve been told you want to conduct illegal research on the spread of STDs, but can’t manage to get your hands on enough infected women in order to test your illegal drugs.”~

~“Those drugs,” I spat, “will one day cure AIDS, you bastard!” I lunged for him but was held back by two men then kicked in the stomach.~

~I doubled over, trying to catch my breath.~

~“Exactly.” Petrov grinned. “I have girls to give you… but first, you must do something for me. It’s easy, really.~

~“I’ve been told you can manipulate people’s minds… that you’ve studied the power of suggestion, hypnotherapy.” He shrugged. “Brain-washing.”~

~The only souls I'd ever told had been my father and grandmother.~

~One or both of them had said something.~

~To the most dangerous individual I'd ever known.~

~“And?” I smirked. “Do you need me to make you forget your sins, Petrov?”~

~“Mine?” He laughed loudly.~

~“No, but a few of my men… they need to be controlled… you do some work for me here and there, make sure that I have adequate control over my business, and girls will magically show up at your clinic on a nightly basis.”~

~“A trade,” I whispered.~

~“I scratch your back, you scratch mine. What's the harm? I need people I can trust… and you need to save the world… why not allow me to help you do it?”~

~I shook hands with Satan that day, and never looked back for fear of facing my own pride and turning to stone.~

“And now, a few words from Andi’s good friend Nikolai Blazik.” A collective gasp rang out, apparently the rest of the made men had not been made aware of my presence.

I let go of Maya’s hand and slowly made my way to the front of the large Catholic church. I was still surprised I hadn’t been struck mute for the things I’d done in this life.

Things I’d pay for in the next.

I hadn’t written a speech.

I hoped my words would do her life justice.

“Andi,” I began, my voice never wavering in its strength as I looked out over a crowd of one hundred fifty members of the oldest Italian mafia families in the United States.

I wouldn’t blink if someone pulled out a gun and pulled the trigger. I almost expected it, but nobody made any sudden movements.

Perhaps they were that afraid of the Capo, or that stunned to see me, a Russian, in their precious Catholic church.

“Andi,” I said again. “Was the light in the darkness, the loudness in the silence, the laughter in the wind.” I cleared my throat.

“Being with her was experiencing life for the first time, and I know the world is now a darker place without her in it. As a doctor, I blame myself for not having saved her.

“It’s too easy to get deeply lost in the pride of your abilities until you are faced with something like cancer, something so devastating to the human body that you have no choice but to sit back and watch while it eats away at those you love the most.

“She died, but her soul lives on in the lives she touched with the five families. She may have had Russian roots, but her blood…” I smiled.

“It was Italian, and God, he sees the truth, does he not?” A few chuckles. “~Bog vidit pravdu.~” He sees the truth, I repeated. “And the truth is that an angel has joined the courts of heavens.

“~Blagosloveniya,~ Andi. We will miss you.” Blessings, Andi, blessings my dear friend.

I kissed my fingers holding the third finger pressed to my thumb, then took my fist and pounded it against my chest. The first was an ancient gesture of blessing, the second, loyalty.

When I took my seat, Maya grabbed my hand and squeezed. How had I thought I could ever continue living without her?

I couldn’t.

Not anymore.

Even if that meant she’d hate me forever.

I loved her enough to want her mind free.

Free to choose me.

Free to curse me.

Just…free.

“You did wonderful,” she whispered in my ear.

“~Moy,~” I whispered back. “You will always be mine. Thank you for being here.”

“Ah.” She smiled. “I’m getting to ask questions, and now you’re thanking me?”

My lips pressed together to keep from smiling. “Yes well, don’t get used to it.”

“Hard-assed Russian,” she joked.

Never letting her go again. My heart beat for her.

Once the funeral procession ended, I made my way over to Sergio to say my goodbyes, and Maya joined me, offering her condolences.

I was suddenly thankful she hadn’t met Phoenix until recently, she would notice a familiarity about him that I wasn’t sure I was yet ready to reveal.

His features would remind her of her own.

Connecting the dots would be unwise.

For many reasons, the main one being that memory too, was locked inside her brain and I knew if that one came undone, everything else would follow.

Clearly sex hadn’t been a huge trigger for her, but the day was emotional and trying. It wasn’t over, and I knew that the more tired she became, the more she would be tempted to let her guard down.

And when the guards of your brain were down.

There was no telling what could enter… or exit.

“A walk.” Phoenix nodded to me. “I’ll have Bee take Maya back to the car.”

I kissed Maya’s hand, and we both waited until she was out of earshot.

“You asked about the whorehouses.” Phoenix slid a piece of paper into my hand.

“The ones my father was involved in are long gone, but there are two addresses that haven’t been fully researched… Both are new constructions just outside of Seattle.

“Sergio hacked the cameras and was able to get a live feed. Seventeen cars in a little over two hours. All businessmen, entering the small temporary building, and then leaving.”

I nodded, and my stomach turned sour. “The girls have been carrying more bruises lately, the sickness starts in sooner than it ever has before. The conditions must be dire.”

“It’s your only lead, but be careful.” Phoenix sighed and looked back toward Maya and Bee.

“Petrov won't like the fact that you're trying to save Maya and expose him to the feds at the exact same time.”

“Petrov can go to hell.”

Phoenix laughed. “Can't say that I disagree, but be careful. It's rarely the first hit that takes down the giant…”

“I don't mean to destroy him with one hit… I mean to injure him so I can inflict so much pain on his person that he forgets his own name,” I said in a calm voice.

Phoenix's brows rose. “Alright then, on that note… I'll leave you to it. If you need a cleanup crew, let us know. It's the least we can do.”

“Thank you.” I held out my hand.

He shook it. “Doesn't mean we're friends.”

“Russians and Italians? Don't make me laugh.” I smirked.

Phoenix bit down on his lip, let out another chuckle, then gave me a middle finger salute before walking off.

When I reached the car, Maya was yawning into her hand and nervously popping her knuckles.

“So, it begins,” I said under my breath.

“Huh?” She popped her right hand, then left, and as if noticing for the first time she was doing it, she winced. “I'm so sorry, I know you hate that. It's bad for your joints, right?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “And that's not the reason I hate it.”

“Is it the sound?”

“More of what the sound reminds me of.”

“Cracking joints?”

I stared straight ahead and answered, “The sound of a clock ticking.”