We get to work cleaning away the bugs in silence. It goes quickly, Iris and I breaking a sweat trying to keep up with Meng. When we get a nice, half-foot pile of the wisps lining all of the campsite, Meng tells us itâs time to get the food and start cooking. He tells Iris where to find the food in the cabin. I can tell he doesnât want to go in there with William still inside.
âMinnle is doing a lot better,â Iris says when she comes out with leaf-wrapped meats and what looks like a bundle of potatoes with leaves growing out of them.
âProphet probably healed him,â Meng says with a bite behind his words.
âI donât think heâll want to leave either,â I say as I help Iris take the food out of the cabin. âProphets never come without a purpose.â
âHeâll have to live with disappointment. Iris, get the metal pot out of my cabinet inside. And the water skin. Weâll make a stew.â Meng gets a little table, fashioned in a similar way as the stool inside the cabin, and sets it by the rock-lined fire ring. He pulls out a knife and starts chopping up the food Iris brought out. âWisps put the fire out. Get a fire started while I start work on the stew, okay?â
âSure.â I take my own piece of flint, luckily saved in my pocket, and use it with my knife to light a bit of brush. In no time, I have a blazing fire. I race to make it bigger, starting from that tiny spark and adding wood and timber from the nearby forest as quickly as I can.
âHold it there,â Meng says after a while. âThatâs big enough. We need it to burn down so we can cook.â
âRight,â I say, trying not to pant.
âSo you really want to live here, do you?â
I wipe sweat off my brow and sit beside the fire on a large rock. âEver since I first heard of you. I started this group, you know? I never thought my dream might come true.â
âIt wonât. Stop thinking it will.â Meng chops vegetables with an irritated force behind his knife.
Iris, glancing up from putting together a stand for the pot, gives him a hurt, almost angry look. She stops working, letting out a sigh. âLook, Meng, did you ever think that maybe you donât have a choice in this?â she asks.
âI have a choice,â Meng says without looking up from his cutting board. âI can help you or not. Since Iâm not going to help you that means most of you will die out here. Maybe youâll live maybe you wonât. But your best chance is to leave.â
âYou wonât help us if we stay?â
âI didnât come here to start a colony, girl. I came here because I had no choice.â
âIs that why you came back then?â I ask.
Meng stabs the knife into the cutting board, nearly breaking it. He stares icily at me for a few terrible moments, then pulls the knife out of the wood and gets back to work.
âIs that stand ready?â he asks.
âYes,â Iris says as she puts the pot and stand over the fire. I help her fill it with the water skin.
Meng doesnât say a word as he carries the table over and dumps the meat and vegetables into the pot. âStir.â
I take the ladle Meng hands me from one of his pouches and stir the stew, fragrant aromas bombarding my senses. I hadnât realized how hungry I was. The chore of stirring becomes a tempting task as I longingly watch the stew cook.
Meng sits on the rock Iâd been sitting on and visibly relaxes, putting his hands behind his head. âWhat do you have back on the continent, Burin?â Meng asks.
âExcuse me?â I reply.
âWhatâs your life like?â
I cough, reluctant to answer. âMy family was able to keep our property after the revolution. We, um, we have a good amount of land that we operate plantations on. Weâre only allowed to hire Mills, but they thought we operated it better without much interference so we, um, get around the rules a lot.â
Instead of the disappointed or even angry look I expect, Meng only nods. âSo whatâs made you want to abandon that?â
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âIt, wellâ¦â
Iris comes to my rescue, saying, âHe wants the same thing we all want: a life with purpose.â
I nod and say, âYeah, that. Iâm sure I speak for everyone who came here, every Meng member back on the continent, when I say that we all felt dissatisfied with our lives.â
âDissatisfied,â Meng says as if trying to get his mind around the word.
âWe felt that trying to build a colony here, honoring your example, was much more meaningful than working at a mill or a farm.â
Meng takes a long sniff, sighing with satisfaction at the aroma of the stew. âHmm. Itâs almost ready. So hunting and farming and eating and breeding, these arenât worthy things unless youâre on Wilds?â
âWeâre following your example, Meng.â I laugh. âYouâre being pretty ridiculous. Anyone else would see what weâre doing as a great honor and you keep throwing it back at us.â
âYou want to follow my example?â Meng leans closer to me, gripping his knees with his hands. âDonât. Thereâs nothing here better than what you have at the continent.â He leans back. âYou think Iâm being ridiculous? Iâm not the one who threw away a comfortable life to scratch a living off the surface of Wilds.â
âThere was no meaning in my life.â
âThere is no meaning in life,â Meng says in the flattest tone Iâve heard any man speak. âWe live. We find a way to keep living. Then we die. Searching for meaning just makes life shorter.â He turns his eyes toward the darkening forest, in what I think is the direction of the ocean. âAnd sometimes more painful. You want my advice? Go back to your family. Live your life and survive. Youâll find just as much meaning with that as you will here. Probably more.â Meng turns back to the steaming pot. âStewâs done. Go get your Prophet friend.â
âHeâs not our friend,â Iris says as she quickly climbs the ladder and gets inside the cabin.
I follow her with my eyes as she goes up the ladder, watching the way the muscles in her thighs tighten as she climbs.
âSo,â Meng says with a light-hearted voice. âDid she come because she wanted to see me? Or because you were coming?â
âWhat?â I ask.
âYou wanna find meaning in life well there you have it.â Meng points at Iris as she disappears down the roof of the cabin.
I laugh, my face getting warm. I hope itâs not reddening too much. âI donât think I follow you.â
âStop being stupid, Burin, and I mean that in the most general of ways. That girl likes you. Way you watched her walk away I can tell thereâs some interest on your part. You wanna have a life of wilderness and freedom well find that on the continent. Itâs all work and pain here. If there is meaning on this island, Iâve been too tired to ever notice it.â
âIf thereâs no meaning here, why did you come back?â
Meng glares at me, his face shadowed by the orange glow of the fire.
Iris hops off the roof and walks back toward us, shocking me a bit. âI found bowls in your cabinet. William says heâs not hungry,â Iris says, bowls and spoons in her hands.
âI guess the Prophet doesnât need to eat,â Meng scoffs. âLetâs eat quickly before it gets dark.â
No one wants to talk during dinner, though Iâm sure Iris has a thousand questions. I do too. But Meng has a sort of barrier put up around him that Iris and I donât dare break with conversation. I feel like heâs one more question away from sending us out of his camp. Since he doesnât have enough bowls for all of us to eat at once, Iris and I finish up quickly and fill up our bowls for Mally and Minnle.
Minnle is able to eat, though heâs not strong enough to stand. He asks us all about whatâs going on outside. Mengâs attitude toward our group makes him so mad he gets on his feet and nearly spills his stew when he falls over. Mally eats well, keeping her opinions on a more level head, though Iris and I can tell sheâs incredibly disappointed.
No one speaks to William.
When the sun sets and the darkness rolls in, I go outside and look up with apprehension to see that there isnât a single star in the sky. When I ask Meng why this is, he shrugs and says, âItâs the sea breeze. The clouds come in off the warm currents and drift up when the sun goes down. Sometimes they thin out and you can see stars. Most times you canât.â
I look up and feel a strange sense of homelessness. Thereâs something incredibly human about staring up at the stars. Iâd hoped that Wilds would have a much better view, so south on the planet and so far away from the mills. As I stare up at the cloudy night sky, for the first time since Iâve come to Wilds, I feel a sense of sadness and isolation.
Iris and I wait, sitting by the glow of the fire, for a long time in silence with Meng. We want him to tell us stories, tales of his adventures here. After trying to ignore us, he finally opens up.
He tells us of how he first came to Wilds, how he first learned all the things about it that were necessary to know and survive. Iris and I take it in like children, clinging to every word. As Meng tells us of his trials, he seems to grow more comfortable with our company. He even smiles a time or two.
We learn all about the errors he made, the many times he neared death. He says it took him almost five years to stake a claim on the island. He says there wasnât anything else to learn then, so he went back for his family.
Itâs at this point in the story that his smile erases and he says, âI think itâs time we sleep. You have to wake up in time to get to the boat before the tides go out.â He stands and walks over to the ladder.
âBut wait,â Iris says. âWhat about your family? What happened when you got back?â
âI got back. I came back. I kept living. Thatâs all that matters.â
âDid, didâ¦â Iris licks her lips, trying to be delicate with her words. âDid your family die here?â
âNo. Go to bed Iris. Iâll keep watch.â
âYouâre not going to sleep?â I ask.
Meng shakes his head. âThereâs not enough room in there. Besides, Iâve never camped with this strong a smell of humans. It might attract attention and we need a watch.â
âIâll stay up with you.â
âNot necessary.â Meng grabs his weapon, the bone-handled thing he used to kill the wolves with earlier, and rests it on his shoulder. âIâll wake you if thereâs danger.â
âButâ¦â
âIâm done talking. Tomorrow youâre going to head home. Youâre going to forget about Wilds and forget about me, both of you. Youâd best start that now.â