Chapter 22: Chapter 22

Maya An eternity after calling Les, the taxi pulled up next to the phone box, blocking the lane as its horn honked loudly.

“Hey, you’ll be Ka,” the taxi driver nodded as they climbed in the back. “It was easier to pick you up from here than have your mate come get you. He says you’re locked out?” the taxi driver chuckled as they pulled away from the curb.

“Indeed, it’s all this one’s fault,” replied Ka nonchalantly, nodding towards Maya who laughed, relieved at his quick thinking. She had wondered at the start of their relationship whether it was a good idea to go out with a man as good a liar as Ka, but she had got pretty good at telling when he was lying or not. Thankfully he very rarely lied to her, and only for the right reasons, like surprise parties.

“You’re the one that shut the door,” she returned the accusation, raising her eyebrows in expectance of his retaliation.

“If you hadn’t insisted I put the spider out and not flush it down the toilet, then we wouldn’t have been outside in the first place,” the dirty underhanded man countered. In reality, he was petrified of spiders, but insisted Maya remove them from the house unharmed.

She realised it didn’t really make sense that there were locked out in those circumstances as they both wouldn’t have been locked out together, so changed the subject quickly.

“Do you ferry around many locked out people?” she enquired of the driver.

“Oh you’d be surprised, ladies off to work in their pj’s and slippers is a regular event,” he laughed, looking at her in the rear-view mirror.

“Could you turn the heater up a bit?” requested Ka, goosebumps the size of small mountains accumulating on his long arms.

“Sure, where are you from then?” he asked.

“Michigan,” replied Ka. “Here with the girlfriend.”

“You’re local then?” he directed his question at Maya.

“Yeah, from Harrow,” she told him.

“Nice part that, from Hackney meself,” he said in his strong cockney accent. Maya was wondering why she had continued the conversation, wanting to do anything but deal with the small talk. And the last thing they needed was what came next.

“Say, don’t I know you from somewhere?” he turned his head to look at Ka, the traffic having given up crawling and come to a stop.

“I keep getting accused of being some actor, wish I was, that’s gotta beat selling windows,” he sighed. The taxi driver laughed, seeming satisfied with the reply.

Maya and Ka snuggled up for the long, slow drive to Camden, only a few miles away.

Les came down and paid the driver, pulling Ka into a hug, before holding out his hand to Maya.

“Les Cunninghame,” he said formally, kissing her outstretched hand dramatically, in a very camp fashion. Maya waited for them to enter his penthouse flat before asking if he was joking.

“You really don’t know who I am?” asked Maya as they walked through the familiar hallway. She had first came to Les and Rob’s flat the night she met Ka.

“I’m sorry, Ka doesn’t bring his girlfriends here,” replied Les politely, though she knew him well enough to see he thought she was nuts.

They sat down on the sofa, Les collapsing into the one opposite, smiling, but regarding them as if they were likely to blow up at any time.

Rob trotted in with four beers, introducing himself needlessly to Maya, and embracing Ka.

Shaking her head she nuzzled into Ka, which he returned, placing his head on hers.

“So, is someone going to tell us what is going on? How you land in the middle of London barefoot and dressed in summer clothing with a girl you never told us about?” Les demanded cheerily, balancing his beer on his knee.

Ka raised his head from Maya’s shoulder, took a long swig of beer and began.

“Five minutes before we called you we were at home in LA,” he told an incredulous audience.

“Jet lagged then?” Les chided, not realising Ka was serious.

“Days ago, we, as in you both and I; were floating around in our pool, drinking cocktails. Green ones, Rob’s speciality,” said Maya, confusing the situation further.

“It indeed is true,” Ka concurred. “I have no idea what the hell is going on, so I guess we should start at the beginning,” he sighed, looking at Maya for confirmation.

Between them, they explained everything about the portals, her unconsciousness on Ka’s side, and waking up out of a coma from her point of view. What they couldn’t explain was how the others were not on a plane, like the Les and Rob they knew, and why they didn’t know Maya.

“Right, so you went through this, erm, ‘portal’ and then instead of being in LA you were stood on Bayswater Road, in summer clothes,” Les concluded, rubbing his eyebrow.

“Pretty much,” Ka shrugged, downing his third beer.

“Have you been taking any substances, or drank any drinks from strangers?” Les asked them gently, looking for a simple explanation. Ignoring him Ka continued, “So there is another me then, another Ka who lives in LA?”

“Well of course, you live in LA,” Les said slowly. Rob had his head in his hands, his beer untouched.

“Well, why don’t you phone me,” Ka challenged, his head cocked, fixing Les with a steely determined gaze, the life that had ebbed away over the last week returning to his eyes.

Les spluttered “But you’re here, how can I phone you?” he appealed futilely as he grew positive that his friend had completely lost it.

“Just do it, for me, for the sake of proving me wrong,” Ka’s voice was measured as he continued to meet Les’s stare.

“What have you got to lose?” interjected Maya, watching in amusement as Les floundered for an excuse.

Les got up, exhaling sharply, and reached for the phone that was sitting on the coffee table muttering “This is nuts”

They stared at him in silence, each silently praying that the other Ka was home. Les stabbed the phone with his finger a few times before placing it to his ear, looking from Ka to Maya curiously, whilst slowly shaking his head.

Ka remained cool and calm as usual, but Maya knew he must have been as anxious as she was, he was just better at hiding it.

Suddenly there was a crash, loud in the silence as the phone slipped out of Les’s paralysed fingers and hit the floor. Everyone jumped, except the immobile Les. His face was white as a sheet as he stood there staring at them.

“Les,” Rob was at his side, “What’s going on?”

Rob’s presence seemed to free Les from his paralysis, though only enough for him to slide into the nearest chair.

“He answered,” Les breathed. Staring blankly in the direction of Maya and Ka, while somehow not really looking at them at all. “It was him, he answered,” Les repeated.

“Who, who answered,” asked Rob, sitting beside Les on the sofa.

“HIM” Les spluttered, slowly moving his eyes to focus on Ka. “It was Ka who answered.”

Ka and Maya exchanged satisfied smirks as their story was vindicated.

“Are you sure it was him,” reasoned Rob, rubbing Les’s shoulder.

“Of course I’m sure it’s him, or I wouldn’t be virtually catatonic with the shock of it,” scoffed Les, sitting bolt upright before sinking back into his seat. Ka meanwhile, was attempting to piece the phone back together into a functioning state.

“I don’t understand.” Rob shook his head, trying to come to terms with what was happening around him.

“It appears there’s two of us,” Ka told him. “And two of you.”

That was too much for Les, who toddled off to the kitchen muttering something about whiskey. He returned with four glasses and a full bottle of scotch, which he proceeded to knock back at an alarming rate.

“Shall I?” asked Ka, having pieced the phone back together. “How do you make this thing work? I mean, it doesn’t help that everything is written backwards” Ka had never had much of a way with technology anyway, without the bizarre reversed writing.

“Are you sure you should call yourself?” argued Maya, “I mean, you don’t want to scare yourself.”

“I’m a perfectly reasonable person” replied Ka, full of self-belief and beer, “I’ll understand.” Privately, Maya disagreed, but thought it best to let him get on with it.

At that moment, Rob’s pocket started ringing, “Ka,” said Rob, answering it. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you, but you are standing here in front of me...here, talk to yourself,” and with that, he handed the phone to Ka.

“Hey,” said Ka pleasantly into the phone. It seemed that trying to convince someone else of this crazy turn of events had slipped Ka into a recognition and acceptance of it all. For the time being anyway. “I walked through a portal into what appears to be a parallel universe....No I am not a crazy fan...No I am not drunk...Nor have I been taking mescaline...No I am not an axe-murderer...Ask me anything...Mrs Perry...Peed the bed on the sleepover at Kevin’s house and pretended it was the dog...That’s a tough one, most embarrassing thing? I’d rather not talk about the tree incident in front of my friends and girlfriend if that’s okay...You’ll be on the next flight?...Awesome,” and handed the phone back to Rob.

“The tree incident?” asked Maya intrigued, realising there was plenty she didn’t know about her boyfriend.

“Not even on my death bed will I admit to that one,” he grimaced.

“Show us a portal then,” asked Rob sombrely, saving Ka from Maya’s impending interrogation.

“Can’t guarantee where you’ll end up, so just watch the prettiness, okay?” she said, sounding more upbeat than she felt. “We have to hold hands.”

They moved away from the sofas and she stood in the middle of the two men she had been friends with for two years, despite them having never met her. She got a portal first time, and stuck her head through to see if it was home.

Les and Rob gasped and jumped backwards as Maya’s head disappeared into into the portal right in front of them. It reappeared just as fast with a wide grin “Not home,” she shook her head at them. “A desert, have a look.”

One at a time, Ka included, they each admired the desert. On a whim, Maya stuck her hand through, bringing back some sand.

“Just incase you think you’re dreaming,” she grinned, scattering it on the floor.

“Whiskey,” muttered Les, heading back to the sofa.