Chapter 128: chapter 128

MADHAVSruthi is giving me a look of utter disgust and hatred. Her eyes, once so full of love, are now sharp and cold, piercing through me like pieces of glass. My breath catches as I look down at my trembling hands, covered in blood. Sticky, warm and crimson.“You are a monster,” she says, her voice low but venomous, each word slicing through me like a blade. I flinch at the sheer force of her disgust, but it’s her next words that truly shatter me. “Just like your father.”The air feels thin, suffocating. “No,” I manage to croak, my voice cracking, the word barely audible. My body moves on instinct as I take a step toward her, desperate to close the growing distance between us.But Sruthi takes a sharp step back, her hands raised as though she is about to attack me. Her recoil hurts more than her words, and I stop in my tracks.“Don’t come any closer,” she spits, her voice trembling with equal parts fear and rage. Her entire body is rigid, her arms wrapped protectively around herself as if shielding her heart from me. “I hate you. I can’t live with a monster like you.”The finality of her words echoes in my mind. I want to scream, to beg, to explain, but my throat tightens, trapping my voice. My legs refuse to move. I try to reach for her, but some invisible force—shame, guilt, or perhaps something more sinister—anchors me to the spot. My feet feel rooted to the ground, shackled by a weight I cannot see, yet can feel crushing me all the same.“Sruthi!” I call after her, but the word comes out raw, strangled, more a sob than a name. She doesn’t look back. The distance between us stretches impossibly far as she turns and walks away. I try again to move, to call out, to explain that I’m not what she thinks. That I can’t be like him. I’m not like him.But the shackles won’t let me go. My chest heaves, my hands still dripping with blood, and I can only watch as she disappears into the distance, taking my last shred of hope with her.I drop to my knees, the weight of her words pressing down on me like the blood itself is seeping into my skin, filling my veins with the poison of my past. I am left alone, drowning in guilt, fear, and the unbearable truth that maybe, just maybe, Sruthi is right.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥I open my eyes to darkness. My heart still aches from the scene I just witnessed. Fuck! It is another one of those nightmares. I don’t know it began, but the nightmares keep coming, and they’re starting to mess with me. With each day, I grow more anxious, wondering if Sruthi will leave me one day.I know that doubt in a relationship is unhealthy and will only lead to its doom, but I can't stop myself from feeling like the helpless, hopeless fifteen-year-old boy I once was.The more I fall in love with Sruthi—and I fall deeper every day—the more afraid I become of turning into my father. That fear is a constant shadow.Sruthi stirs in my arms, her sleepy eyes meeting mine. Whatever she sees in my face makes her fully awake in an instant. She snuggles closer and asks, “What’s bothering you, darling?”I chuckle at the nickname. I love it far more than I should. Do I even deserve this happiness?“Nothing,” I mutter, but Sruthi knows me too well to believe that.A determined look lights her eyes before I can predict what she’s about to do. She’s suddenly on top of me, straddling my hips.“Sruthi,” her name is a plea on my lips. She knows how weak I am when she takes the initiative. When she straddles me in bed, she has all the power—and we both know it.She leans closer to my ear and whispers softly, “Answer me again, Madhav.”Though her tone is resolute, her eyes are soft, gentle. I hesitate. Confessing my fears feels like admitting that I don’t trust her, and I’m terrified that will hurt her. I’m afraid she’ll either reassure me or question how I could doubt her love. But the truth is, this isn’t about her. It’s about me. I’m struggling to accept the peace and quiet we share. I’ve always convinced myself I don’t deserve a happily ever after, and now that I have one, it terrifies me. I’m waiting for the inevitable doom, and it’s exhausting.Sruthi brushes a soft kiss on my lips, and that’s my undoing. Before I can kiss her back, she pulls away, her eyebrow raised.I take a deep breath and confess what’s been haunting me for weeks. “I keep having this dream where you leave me. You tell me I’m a monster and that you hate me. It’s messing with my head, and I’m afraid it’ll become real. I kn—”Sruthi silences me with a kiss. It’s gentle and soft, coaxing and reassuring me. My hands wrap around her waist, pulling her closer. Kissing her never gets old. Every time feels like the first time.Her fingers thread through my hair, and I growl when she gives them a slight tug. I roll us over, pinning her beneath me. Her legs wrap around my waist, her eyes wide and filled with desire.“What do you want me to do, Madhav?” she asks softly. “To prove to you that I won’t leave you.”My heart aches at the vulnerability in her voice. I lean down and press a soft kiss to the base of her neck, drawing a moan from her lips. “You aren’t the problem, Sruthi. It’s me. I’m scared of turning into a man like my father and hurting you. That fear is messing with me, honey.”“It’s okay to be afraid, Madhav,” Sruthi says, her voice gentle, her eyes understanding. She has no idea how much that means to me. “Not every fear comes true. I love you.” My heart skips a beat—it always does when she says those words. “And that means I love every part of you. The good and the bad. So don’t be afraid of me leaving when you’re at your worst. I’ve told you before, and I’ll say it again: I’m in this for the long haul. You’re it for me. The man I want to grow old with. The man I want to hold on to when I take my last breath. It’s okay to be scared, but don’t keep it to yourself. Talk to me. Let me put your fears to rest with my actions.”I give her a hesitant smile. “And how will you do that?”“Like this,” she says, brushing her lips against mine before taking my bottom lip between her teeth and sucking gently.She’s driving me insane, and she knows it. Her hands trail under the hem of my T-shirt, igniting sparks everywhere she touches.I pull away before I lose control and whisper, “You have no idea how dangerous I am.”Her eyes darken as she pulls me closer, pressing a kiss to the base of my neck. “I know, darling. I’ve seen you kill a man in the blink of an eye. If that didn’t scare me, nothing will. No matter how dangerous you are, I know you’d never hurt me.”Her unwavering trust warms my heart, and I close the gap between us, kissing her deeply. A year ago, having Sruthi in my arms on this bed was my wildest fantasy. Something I thought would never come true. Yet, here we are, and the reality of loving her is better than anything I ever imagined.“Madhav,” she whispers my name like a prayer as my fingers trail down her neck. “Stop.”I freeze and pull back, my shoulders stiff with worry. Did I hurt her?She takes in my expression and softens. “You didn’t hurt me. But we need to talk this out first.”She moves away, untangling her legs from my waist. Running a hand through my hair, I feel nervous. She’s right. If I want this to work, I need to be honest with her.“How are you feeling now?” she asks, cupping my face in her hands.“Hot and bothered,” I answer honestly, and she flushes.“Madhav,” she says with a shake of her head.“I’m being truthful. I was seconds away from ripping that T-shirt off if you hadn’t stopped me.”She gives me a shy smile. “Then thank God I did. This is my favorite tee, and I don’t want it ruined.”“You know I’d replace it if I did,” I say, glancing at the shapeless orange shirt she’s wearing. Most of the outfit she wears on the house are ones like this. Shapeless and baggy. She rarely weara dress that hugs curves, but when she does, the dress never survives the night—thanks to me.“Yeah, I know,” she replies, her tone turning serious again. “Now talk to me about your fears.”I hesitate, searching for the right words, but there’s no poetic way to say it. I decide to be real with her.“I’m afraid you’ll realize I’m not worth your love or time. That one day, you’ll see the darkness in me and leave. And I’m terrified I’ll turn into my father and hurt you like he hurt my mother.”Sruthi cups my face, her gaze steady. “First,” she says, counting on her fingers, “You. Are. Not. Your Father. Burn that into your mind. No matter how much you try, you could never be him. You’re self-aware in ways he never was.” She counts another finger. “Second, I am not your mother. I won’t confuse abuse with love. I won’t wait for things to get better. I’ve told you before: if I see any signs of obsession or harm, I’ll make sure you get the help you need. But I know it won’t come to that.”I open my mouth to refute, but she places a hand over it, silencing me.“And the darkness you’re afraid of?” she continues. “We all have darkness in us, Madhav. The challenge is to shine bright despite it. I know you will. I believe in you.”I lick her palm, and she removes it, shaking her head at me with a grin.“I want to believe it, too,” I confess, feeling hope stir in my chest. “But it’s hard. The doubts, the nightmares—they won’t stop.”“It’s okay to doubt yourself,” Sruthi says. “But it’s not okay to keep it bottled up. We’re a team, Madhav. Rely on me the way I rely on you. Don’t carry this alone. I’ll face your demons with you. Whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me for life.”I feel a weight lift off my shoulders. Pulling her into my lap, I press my forehead against hers. “I actually love that you’re stuck with me.”Her lavender scent grounds me, soothing my restless mind.“Good thing then,” she whispers with a smile.“Thank you,” I say softly. Her belief in me makes me want to be better. I don’t trust myself yet, but I’ll keep trying, for her—for us. One day, I hope I’ll stop doubting. Until then, I’ll lean on her strength.❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥