Alone.
I had been left alone now for three days.
The only company I had was the sound that night provided.
Moans.
Screams.
Sighs.
Other noises.
Other sounds from the other room.
Saint was the main sound I heard.
There were others though.
I didn't care.
So long as it wasn't me.
And so long as it wasn't Oceane.
There was something about Oceane that made me feel protective. Attached. Maybe because of that first month we had been able to spend together.
We had, in the face of darkness, been able to forge a bond from the evil that rested outside our doors.
We had stuck together and became use to the other.
I had never had such thing as friendship at the Temple.
No. People did not want to be friends with me.
They wanted my attention. They wanted my blessing. My light.
But not my friendship.
Looking back- I think Oceane is my first friend.
Or at least- is the first person whom I can consider close enough to obtain that title.
It had always been the Moon and I.
Her powers had created a sort of barrier between me and others. I knew I was separated.
Isolated.
Alone in her power.
Maybe Jonaus would have helped.
If he had not given in so easily.
But he had turned himself over, and left me once again to bask in the knowledge that I was alone.
Alone.
Oceane's eyes come to my mind.
The beautiful blue-green hue.
I missed her.
Sitting in the room, alone and with no noise- I use the time to mediate. To try and reconnect to the Moon.
But I feel nothing.
Not since she revealed herself to me on that night.
After that the barren pit within my soul reclaimed my mind, leaving me to wander within the darkness blind.
Jonaus had not come.
I had scared him away.
He probably would not be back.
He was showing, clearly, what side he wanted to be on.
I hear a faint knock on the door.
"Who is it."
My voice is hoarse.
I haven't spoken in these past few days, so the sound grates against me.
"Arishia."
It's faint but I can make out the whisper.
I close my eyes, and sigh. And then softly make my way and open the door.
"Oceane. You need to leave."
I mask my face with one of hardness.
Oceane, as if she had heard my silent plea within her mind, is standing nervously, her eyes darting from side to side down the hall.
"Leave, quickly."
I make to close the door but she surprises me by holding her hand in the way. Stopping.
"Wait I..."
Her eyes widen. I see her take a few measured breathes, "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
I feel a tightness in my chest.
That night. I could see how it had haunted her.
Her eyes find the wound upon my neck.
I don't flinch from her touch as she softly reaches out, tracing the two punctures.
"Does it hurt?"
She needs to leave.
She had been lucky that no one had scented her out.
But her luck would not last long.
"Ocene, you need to go. It's not safe. I'm fine."
I push her hand away, but she won't have it. She puts in body in the line of direction for the door, stopping me from closing it.
I feel panic starting to rise but feature my face into one of neutral boredom.
Don't show your fear.
"It's okay- the drug they gave us lasts for a week. My scent is still masked."
That still would not help her.
If a creature of darkness were to roam the halls- scent or no scent she still is prey.
"Oceane," I back away, "Please."
She shakes her head, "They are all taken Arishia. Everyone of them. All but me. I know my time is coming."
I can't breath.
I feel the weight of a thousand worlds crush into my soul.
Not her.
We stare at each other in grim silence.
I don't know what to say. Because what she is saying is the truth. We both knew it would come.
So instead, I don't offer words of comfort.
Instead I take her face within my hands, feeling the softness of her cheeks. Instead I pull her forward and kiss her forehead.
Hoping that she could feel my light.
Her hands reach up to grab my wrists, encasing and surrounding them.
Her eyes are close, face relaxed. She could still feel the blessing that I carried.
No one else could.
No one except her.
I break from her and rest my forehead against hers.
Looking into her eyes that match her name so well.
"I will be with you."
Hope springs within her gaze.
I softly bump our foreheads together, resting it back in place, "It's okay. I will be with you."
A shuddered breath is released from her.
A single tear escapes.
"I'm scared."
I close my eyes at how broken the two words are.
"I know."
I open my eyes and watch as more tears fall.
"I don't want to. I don't want it. I want to be anywhere but here. Arishia," she looks up at me and slowly reaches for something that is hidden in the front of her dress.
I gasp as she pulls out a thin knife.
It's small.
Small enough to fit, yet still small enough to get the job that she had in mind done.
"I don't want to be here," she whispers.
Cold fear grips into me.
Selfish.
I was so selfish.
Because I slowly reached for the hand that held the knife, and slowly pulled it away from her grasp.
Selfish.
She is shaking.
"Don't."
"Why not."
I can't give her a good enough reason.
She won't make it.
It will happen eventually.
Only one could survive the reaping.
I already knew my fate.
I already knew the destiny the Moon had set in place for me.
I had to follow it. This was what I had been training for my whole life. This was why she had painted me within her life.
But Oceane.
She had no such purpose.
Selfish.
I was so selfish.
Because all I could think of was the gripping fear of never seeing those blue-green eyes.
"I'll save you."
She chokes back a sob, her hands squeezing my wrists as I move closer to her, desperate to make my words true, "I made you a promise. I intend to keep it. By all the holy powers blessed within the Moon and by the Mother Asundra herself- I will keep it."
I kiss her forehead once again and lower my gaze to meet hers.
"Do you understand?"
She nods, new tears making their way down.
"Good. Do not ever bring up such foolishness as this." I toss the knife aside, not bothering to watch it land on the bed.
My whole focus is upon Oceane.
"It's not safe here. Go back to the room."
She nods and slowly, we break apart.
"Goodbye Arishia."
I squeeze her hand one last time and watch her walk down the hall.
She is quick to leave. Cautious in her movements.
It's several minutes more, before I'm finally able to whisper into the barren space, "Goodbye Oceane."