Chapter 109

Nikami POV

Is she okay?

Nope, she's not at all ahaha... Crying in my arms actually. I don't get her at all, but do you have any ideas?

Huh. I don't know why she suddenly left too. Maybe she was bewildered by my reply?

"And that's basically what happened! Hey wait, are you listening?" Raijin held my hand and squinted at me. "I am. Just processing everything, that's all."

"Are you okay, Rai? I know physically you're fine, you always bounce back so quickly. I meant mentally." She massaged my palms with her rough fingers, the world that twisted earlier had disappeared. Bangs veiled her eyes, but that glacier gaze was easy to spot. "Yeah, I'm fine." She huffed.

"Liar."

"Wha-"

I whipped her waist near me, finger tips trailed down her spine to straighten her back. Eye contact was made, and blood rushed to her ears. My lips didn't move, stoic stares met erratic eyes. "Fine!" She gulped then groaned, head turned to the side, "I was jealous. Happy now?"

I nodded, leaned over to kiss her neck and she squeaked. A tiny "What the fuck-" escaped her lips. I embraced her further, dug my face into her shoulders. This warmth I will never trade for anything, it had only been a little over an hour that I couldn't touch her yet this urge overwhelmed me.

"Hello love birds~ I understand that you two are all over each other, but can you please pay attention?" Shoubu titled her head and stared at us, underlying flames were in her eyes and we both nodded. "Thank you! Now then, we need your opinion on this. She's very insistent on not freeing you three from your curse, even if our little knight here is breathing down her neck." the princess placed her palm on her cheek and chuckled.

"Let me talk to her."

"Ara?"

"Huh? Nika? What do you want to even say to her? I mean I get the curiosity, but she's way out of her mind." Raijin gripped my wrist and pulled away to lock eyes with me. By her constant monologues, Raijin probably already had figured out that she was from our world too. She's too far gone, but she does still have sense in her. This is the same girl who created a new darkness spell from just simple knowledge about dark magic, and is undoubtedly the strongest spell I have seen. To take other's magic and turn it into her's [Devour], she is smart no matter what her actions are.

"Trust me, please." I gripped her hand back with a harsh stare, she sighed and nodded. Raijin backed off, hair twirled around her fingers. "Be safe, kay?" "I already know, but thanks."

"Why do you want to talk to her?" Shoubu stepped forward to lead me to the tied up female, "I wanted to try and convince her." If I was a part of Hameru, maybe, maybe I could use my words. I don't remember how I got so charismatic back then, perhaps I still have it now, so I'll use that to my advantage.

"I assume you want privacy?" Shoubu's gaze pointed towards Saboten who had her hand on her blade, Yasachu that had passionate eyes set on Yuutsu. "Yes please."

Oh?

It's strange how she is so yandere over Shiromoru, yet paid attention to her fake best friend and broke her everlasting gaze on her. It made that prideful girl freeze, she was so startled, I didn't expect it either.

Shoubu shooed the two away, pat me on the head before she left. What the. Huh? Wait, why did she-

I stood there, eyes blinked at Yuutsu as I processed what just happened. I... Don't understand that princess. From what I remember in the game, she didn't like physical contact other than with the people she trusts. That's why she's so touchy with Kikyou and never with other characters. Yet she...Actually pat me? Huh.

"Are ya just gonna stand there?~ Geez! I can't read what you're thinking, always with that STUPID unmoving face. Care to give me a penny for your thoughts, Nikami?" Even underneath me, she had laughed in the situation she was put in. She really doesn't care about her life, hm.

"What is Emica to you?" Let's start with this mystery. "My sister, she's a fool for following me all the way through though. I don't see her around, ya killed her didn't you?"

"I have mercy, Kurogane." I sat down next to her on the ground, eyes rolled when she brought up I might have killed her sister. I won't dare take out someone's life, at least by my own hands. "Huuuuhh... So where is she?"

"Ask Shiromoru."

"Hah! You have a name for your curse?"

"Shiromoru is NOT a curse." I slammed my palms on the ground, leaned over her to cover her with my shadows. Her red eye flickered, another cackle from her lips emerged while she leaned at me and smirked. "Don't tell me, you got close to someone so fake?"

"They are not fake."

"They? Wait huh?" She gasped, mouth wide open before she altered it to an amused smile and leaned back to the ground. "Ahahaha! What the hell, two of them?! Are you that insecure?!"

"What are you talking about now?" I stood straight once more, her limp body had wheezed on the ground before she answered my question. "[Phobia] is my special magic that I got from the fairy king, it makes what the person is afraid the most into a reality. Though, here's the twist,"

Her Cheshire cat smirk infected her complexion and pulled her cheeks like rubber, red eye turned void for a second before she spoke, "The thing they're afraid of is what they are embarrassed about, their own insecurities. Yasachu's obsessive nature is real, Shukona's cowardly and crybaby reactions are real, your ruthlessness is real, All I did was amplify those emotions."

Huh?

"Aren't you countering yourself, you said that Shiromoru wasn't real-"

"She isn't real!~ Because she's just you."

"I..." I sat there, body frozen. My throat was dry, each time I spoke there was a crack of a spike inside it. I...I mean yes, she's technically just me but...She's different, I'm not her. I'm just a part of he-... Oh. They were right from the start. They are just a part of me, the ones that I am embarrassed about. I hated Hameru for her naivety, I hated Shiromoru since she wanted to take over my body.

But not anymore.

Hameru is kind and charismatic, Shiromoru is passionate and a guardian. The pieces I have loathed yet lost, that was them. I don't know what this means for the future, but I want both of them to be in their own sanctuary, this time out of will and freedom.

"So all I need to do is accept that side, correct?"

"Hmmm?~ You always seem to surprise me, don't ya?~" She nodded to my words, laid on her back. Body stiff, wires illuminated her body while the darkness ate the world. But her eyes were in the neutral state of blankness, a thousand mile stare along with relaxed cheeks, dead calm of an ocean. With now a gaze of full black in the sky, I didn't utter a word with how light the air was unlike before. "You know. If only I wasn't in this body, or if you were the main character, it would make things so much better."

"How would that make things different? Either way, things already happened and everyone is against you now. You'll be killed either way, so at least die in a noble way." That cycle of what if's only do nothing more than hurt me, I want to face reality and not just give in the comfort of the bubbles in my head was too sweet to completely remove.

"I was just your usual anime enjoyer! I was so excited when I found out about Raijin's name in the newspapers, because it meant I was in a game. In another world! Reincarnated! It was a fantasy, and I could get to talk to my favorite characters! It was far too late when I got blessed, an infection that you two had as well." She started another one of her monologues, but I let her, as cliche as she is right now, being heard is always a good way to get close to someone. It's heartless, but I need to tug at her heart strings to remove the curse. Or at least, the curse of others. I don't know if it would really remove the two, I would rather stay cursed.

"I know you were like us, but you didn't have to go this length. It's over kill."

"Ahaha!~ That's what I'm saying right, it's waaaaaaay too much! But how unlucky with me, you two got the cold and hot characters, I got the vengeful one! I just want to be a nice person. I want to be happy. I want to make others happy. That's why I became a doctor in the damn first place, to help people. Yet what, what?! I fucking CAN'T." She shrunk in place, a tower of guilt on her shoulders made her snap and with the cold light that shined on her, tears reflected the moon.

"A doctor...?" Wait, she's older than both me and... What's her name again, Haiki? We were barely in highschool, yet she already has a job?

"I was in surgery, I helped people. And this urge to just seek and destroy, I didn't expect. It overwhelmed me before I could even understand what was going on. Unlike you two, I didn't have a support system. I didn't have a Shukona. Ahaha! Maybe that's why I targeted her first, because I desperately needed someone like her in my life, I am so fucking petty." Her voice cracked, throat was dry and itchy. Her hands shook, bit further the inside of her lips. Copper drowned her tongue, the slightest of vermilion came out of her lips as well. That calm river-like surface crashed down like a waterfall of distress. Full of anger, of guilt, of hatred towards herself. She exposed her heart for only me to see, a deep trust I failed to understand.

"I had my mom, and Emica. That's it. We had to move away from our village because of them knowing I was blessed by the ooOoOoOhHhH so evil dark fairy king. The moment we arrived in this country, my mom got sick. She couldn't work anymore, so my sister became a maid. I wanted to help at least with SOMETHING, my sister carried both me and my mother at 6! So I made a deal with the devil. The Amatarini Family was the only one that could heal my mother."

Yuutsu POV

Hands tainted with red, no line of sound other than the sway of the leaves in the tree I was in. A crystal globe in my hand, spun it around, a sigh escaped my lips. That noble man really just picked the wrong family to fight, this clairvoyance skill was something they clearly wanted and he just HAD to show off at the auction. R.I.P Desmond, you were a dumbass. Orb reflected that dance in the moonlight, surrounded by flowers, villainess hand held by that girl who had an unnatural amount of mana; a spark of curious impulse flamed my heart.

What is she doing? I know by their conversation with my first trial of [Phobia] with Prince Raijin that they were both reincarnated like me. But, this...I don't get why she's doing this. Just to humor Shukona? Pft. geez.

Yet I was captivated, unable to look away from the mediocre dance performance the two had. And it was done, the green haired child went back to where she came from. What was the point of that...? Didn't she just talk shit about her, there was no point other than trying to make amends with her and...

Before I knew it, a thought from the sight scorched me, burned me carefully with passion I held deep inside.

Is she trying to make friends with the villainess? But what would happen to the game?! Shukona's backstory was supposed to be filled with loneliness and fake pride to protect from the hatred she had created for herself. If she becomes friends with her, along with Raijin, that would completely change it! What would happen to a game without a villainess, what would happen to the protagonist?!

A change.

A CHANGE!

If I can't change myself, then all I have to do is to change the others around me. Like what I did with Raijin, my first trial with [Phobia] This is it, the hope that I needed! I can finally stop this red in my mind that paints me with violence. These flashes of blood and dreamlike states of anger, this red eye of mine would be gone. But where do I start...? Oh, I remember, those horses from above wanted a spy.

"Onee-sama!" I yelled out, hopped to stand in the branch I was on. She glanced at me from the window of our house, a sigh escaped her lips. "What do you want? Clean off the blood and get off the damn tree."

"Let's make you the maid of the Shiromoru family! Specifically that Nikami girl! You know it pays a lot, and didn't the master want a spy over there? You could do it, you know!" The tip of my feet balanced itself on the window sill, hand grabbed on the top of the frame to support myself and not fall.

"Hah? How do you think I can do that? I'm literally the lowest maid in the estate, unlike you I have no good gift that would prove me useful." The damp towel on her hand had landed on my bloodied palms, a gentle rub to take off my sins. A gleam of the stars reached my smile, "Then just use your connections! Listen, listen, you're super good at chess right? Trust me on this, but if you keep beating Nikami on it, I'm sure she'd get interested in you and appoint you to be her maid! You're at a professional level!" I yelled at her to make my intentions known.

Yet she did nothing more than roll her eyes and flicked my forehead, "Yeah yeah, whatever. As if that would work! Come on, we have to get to sleep. We have to wake up tomorrow morning." My wrist was grabbed, pulled in the house and I nodded. "At least try it, please!"

"Ugh if it would shut you up, fine. Give some water to mom, I'm tired." With her command I nodded, charcoal eyes set on her while she laid on her bed and after a day of sweat she went to sleep. I skipped over and grabbed the water, hand on handle and opened my mothers room with a creak from the old door.

"Hey, mom! I have some water for you, let's get you to bed today, okay?" A lopsided smile came towards the woman who had sat up on her bed. Frail fingers tapped the window that let the moon shine in, face barely had any hint of life in it. Pale enough to be a ghost, yet the sway of her bangs from the west wind proved that she really was in reality.

"Yuutsu, dear, you didn't have to do this. You're already doing so much for me... I'm sorry." And as always, the moment her chapped lips opened, apologies always struck me. Her fragile jaw hardly could move, yet she smiled at me.

"Mom!~ Geez, please do not apologize for our situation! I love ya so much!" You aren't the same as my mother in my own reality, yet these blades of a pitiful gaze gripped my heart like no other. This playful mask may just be a cover, a thing that could drop with a slight flick, that is only because I do not wish to worry you two.

I live in the world that despises my existence, hated in all lands, used and abused. You two are the only thread that I hang on, and finally I could change this fate of mine because of that dance. I will use that hope to untie the rope around my neck, I'll change everyone's fate and mine. I will forever be admiring you from afar, whoever is in Nikami Shiromoru's body.