Chapter 110

Nikami POV

That’s sad, but I really didn’t ask for your whole backstory. All I know is that you tried to kill a girl and hurt the people I love, I don’t care about whatever your excuse is. Pity is nothing but a speck of my rage towards you, however I know it would be illogical to hold it against her all the time. Everyone else is at her mercy, so I have to act like I sympathize with her.

“I see, I’m sorry to hear that. If anyone can do anything with sickness, it's either Shu or Kiyu-senpai. But I don’t think either of them will help you, after what you did. Aren’t you a doctor? Couldn’t you figure something out?” I asked her, hair lopsided while I stared down at her.

“I am a doctor! But for normal humans, her complication was something magical. Waaay out of my league unfortunately. I used everything I knew to at least help her with the tools and how poor we were, but still, only the Amatarini family had the medicine to not make my mom die immediately from her sickness.” She grumbled, licked the blood on her lips and just let her body go completely limp. “I wonder why I was even reincarnated here? Why did the gods choose me? Everything I have done in my past life was for the sake of saving others, yet, I got this. Why did they choose you? Why did they choose Raijin? I don’t get it.”

“I met god, actually.”

“What.” Yuutsu spoke in a toneless voice, complete and utter devoid of any emotion or intonation.

“They talked about blessings and reincarnation… About me being their favorite human. I don’t remember it clearly, it has been more than a decade after that happened.” I balled my hands, stoic turned ice and hardened. “But I know damn well that was a lie. Favorite human my ass, they let me suffer this way. No, made US suffer this way. They pushed you to this extent, broke the game and broke yourself in the process. I just wanted to reincarnate normally, not in this yuri game.”

“Hah! They actually met you? Wow, you really are the chosen one aren’t cha? I want you to be the main character rather than that scorching sunshine.” I raised an eyebrow at her term for Yasachu, once again she brought up about me being the main character.

“That again. Why?”

“Because you actually understand me.” I do, but forgiving you is another thing. “And that you aren’t really obsessed over people. Hey, didn’t know? You aren’t the only one she has infatuation over, she also has it over that tree lady. If it weren’t for you, she would have gone head over heels for Shukona. That inferiority complex of her’s ate her up on the inside, and you two being prideful bitches, she wanted to have that too. That boooooooring backstory about her having white hair and being bullied in her hometown had turned to admire you two, with your different types of affection she got addicted. I made it worse, of course. Waaaay before you two even met.”

What? She cursed her before I found her on the street?

I knew she was insecure about being a commoner in this noble filled academy and clearly wanted friends, but to turn that friendship into this? No, I’d imagine it was hard for her too. If she shivers each time a gaze is set on her, then she expects something bad. The two of us acted bad as well, yet we took care of her. That surprise of affection must have made her snap.

“And you did that… For what?” That curse on the protagonist, why?

“Because I wanted to warn you she was dangerous, she had all the signs didn’t she? I was so happy when you started to avoid her and I went to talk to you. And of course I fucked it up, that red keeps getting into my skull. I’m the real Yandere character in the game.” Red. That word again. Her eyes are pure now, her heterochromia of red and black is gone, it was nothing but void. Is that the physical manifestation of her other self? This is her whole heartedly saying sorry, so that other nature of her should be gone as well. She’s being herself and not her character.

“I want to die.”

“I can’t let you do that.”

“Pft,” She wheezed, scoffed at me. “Because you can’t heal your curse?”

“No, because I haven’t punished you enough.” I stood up and raised my heel, stepped on her forehead while I glared down. “I’m spiteful.”

“Fool, you’re shaking. Why are you acting so tough?” I held my breath, jaw clenched. Damn it. Why can’t I get mad?

“I want to embrace the part of me that is Shiromoru.” Why can’t I just be just like Shiromoru? I want to hurt her, for everything she had done to Shukona. I know I don’t care about her little sob story, the horrors I’ve seen in front of me is all her fault. This whole mess, Yasachu turned strange because of her, I had multiple mental breakdowns because of what happened, and yet I can’t even do this? Shukona bled in front of me, sacrificed herself FOR ME. Because of THIS BITCH.

You really are just like your predecessor, a coward.

Shiromoru?! You’re back.

“So what are ya gonna do to me that would be soooo bad I would want to remove the curse? You can’t torture me, it ain’t gonna work.” She rolled her eyes, her red eye back in its place. The moon rose on the opposite side of the sun, it would be a perfect time for her to fight back in the darkness yet that blurred charcoal eye of her’s tells me she already gave up a long time ago.

What should I actually do?

A taste of her own curse, remember how dark… That commoner reacted to her.

Huh?

Do you get it?

Ah. Yes.

“Yasachu, come here for a second.” I turned my head over at the short girl, pushed my heels further into her forehead to shut her up. Shoubu was next to the sisters that cried together, in her palms a water leash she wrapped around Yasachu’s neck. Her eyes perked up when I spoke, and she let go of Yasachu with a nod and smile at me. I can’t read her with her everlasting smile, but I feel as though that smirk was more tender than I remember.

“U-uhm… What do you need me for…? Why are you stepping on Yuutsu?”

“Tell me the truth, do you like Kurogane more than me?”

“HUH?! Nikami, what in the wor-'' She flung her body forward to sit on the ground, but I bashed my shoes and smashed her back. Ouch, that’s gotta hurt.

“I can tell if you lie or not, so don’t even try to do it.”

Okay, that might have been a little too much.

“I just want to make sure, Yasachu, please answer me.”

“I…Uhm… It’s not that I…” She gulped and took a step back, chest went down and up rapidly, pushed her lips together while her gaze set on the girl under my shoe. “I-I like you both! I respect you, Shiromoru. And I care about her as a friend as well, I know she has done some horrible things but I think she can still be fixed…”

Bingo. Leave it to the protagonist to be too forgiving, she also has an obsession over Yuutsu. She was one of the only commoners there along with her, of course Yasachu is going to keep her close to the heart as well.

“Listen to me carefully, I adore you, but as a friend. I want you to be safe as well, and with what you have done against us will also get you in trouble as well. That knight does not like you at all, and she speaks for Rabadena-senpai.” Saboten has the same emotions as Shoubu from what I've seen. Each time I see her mad, Shoubu almost always has her jaw clenched. A small difference, but that smile of hers is her own poker face.

"Please run away with her. I love someone else, Yasachu. If you are safe, I am willing to suffer any consequences that will come from this action. Stay with her, as that curse makes you obsessive over people, I want you to either make her break the spell, or make her life hell." I placed both of my hands on Yasachu's shoulders, her face pale the moment I finished those words. She shook underneath my palms, gulped, and held her breath.

"As if she'd do that! Cooooome on, Chu-chan, don't you want to be with her?!-"

"I-I understand. I'll do anything for you."

"HAH?!"

Even if she's a yandere, she's still going to be that same insecure girl. If she has more confidence and drive, Yasachu is still going to follow my every command. She is not a [I'll make you mine and only mine] type of yandere, but rather, [I'll serve you forever and ever]. As long as you'll love me, and I can protect you.  That's what I noticed earlier.

"Damn it… That's not how I…-" Yuutsu widened her eyes, irises shook along with it and darted between me and Yasachu. You have the same fear as me, don't you? Losing yourself in your character. Yasachu is the vessel that makes that change happen, and being together with her will most likely destroy all of her old self.

Ni-nika! Why are you doing this, don't you feel bad?! I know she did a lot of things, but she only did it to survive. Like you did!

"AAAAAUUUGHHHHH!!" She shrieked on the top of her lungs, a dark bullet came out of her red eyes and shot towards me. Yet, Yasachu pushed me aside and took the shot herself. I stood there, trying to process what had happened before Yasachu stared at the ground. The hazed yellow eyes she had ever since she was cursed had now cleared, light as day.

"Huh…?"

"Yasachu! Are you okay?" I rushed to her side and looked at her nonexistent wound. The shadow didn't hurt her and merged with her skin instead, and I shook as it might just be another curse.

"Pl-please get away from me!" Yasachu shrieked and stumbled back, tears fell from her chubby cheeks as she crawled away from me. Her chest raised and lowered at a concerning rate.

"Yasachu…?" I pulled my arm that reached out to her and placed it on my side. What’s happening to her? That’s just strange, did she completely remove the curse? No, then she shouldn’t be this scared.

“Wh-what got into me…? I’m horrendous. I don’t belong in this world, why did I do that? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” Yasachu balled up her hands and smashed her head with it. One, two, three, over and over. She sat there on the ground and punched herself, black and red formed on her small complexion as her force made her neck jerk to the side.

I knelt in front of her and grabbed her arm, held it in place while I caught the other one as well. Puffy eyes landed at me, her body squirmed around to get herself out of my grasp but proved futile. Her breath slowed, hot liquid dripped down her bruised cheek. My stoic and calm expression had reflected on the white haired girl in front of me, her struggles relaxed and I was able to speak.

“Tell me what happened, please. Don’t hit yourself again.” Why did she go so far to do that to herself? An expression of pure horror and fists that crash into their own skull, that desperation to atone guilt. Why did you have such an aggressive reaction, Yasachu?

“I-I…I can’t be forgiven. I’ve done so many bad things, I told Gakerumi-sama to die, I kissed you, I-I fought against Rabadena-sama, I-I lusted over you and did so many disgusting things-” Yasachu spoke with in short breaths, her heart rose and lungs squeezed itself out of all air that is left.

She’s back to normal…? Before she got cursed, but she remembers. That surely must be a carousel of agony-

My thoughts got cut by her fogged eyes inches away from my nose. I flinched and leaned backwards, and right after her eyes gleamed back to clarity again. She flung her body back as well, tears swelled up in her face and with whimpers said to me, “I-It happened again, I wanted to kiss you for being so close, I-I didn’t want to think about those disgusting emotions! We’re both women and-”

I embraced her.

“Yasachu. It’s not wrong to feel that way, it’s okay. You weren’t the one doing that, but rather the curse. I forgive you for what you did, I’m sure the other’s will also.” You’re the main character after all. It’s just built into us to make you happy. Even if Yuutsu had lost her mind, she still did make sense. This world is built around you, and I get controlled like a puppet whenever you’re involved. But I know it’s not your fault, you are a character and we all are. If we all are fake, then we all are normal. It doesn’t matter if I was reincarnated or not.

“Ahahahaha!” That high pitched laugh grated my eardrums, eyes twitched at the annoyance. “What are you going to do now?~ There is no chance she can do whatever you wish now that she’s broken too-”

“Yasachu, it’s not your fault. It’s the curse's fault, Yuutsu’s fault.”

“Shit.”

Do you really think I don’t think things through? I’m Nikami Shiromoru.

“Bu-but… Yuu-chan…I don’t think she deserves that treatment either… In the worst case I might hurt her! With all due re-respect Shiromoru-sama, I think you don’t have any idea how rotten my head is. I wanted to tie you up and just retreat to the woods so we can live without any troubles, going as far as letting her curse you just so I can have you! I’m the horrible one, not you!” That certainly is a confession I didn’t need to hear. But I can imagine how that wolf feels like she had won now, fucking Chesire cat. That doesn’t matter, I can still convince her, I know how to.

I pulled back from our hug, faced her glassy clear yellow eyes and opened my mouth.

“Yasachu, I know you’re guilty. That’s why I want you to be with her as well, that can be both of your hells. You are going to be with the one that has hurt everyone you cared about, maybe even obsess over them to the point of love. Be with the reason that you've hurt so many people and done things you regret. And Yuutsu wants to kill you, but in the end you hold her under your grasp, slowly and surely she’ll lose herself and become the thing that she doesn't want to be. The reason why she wants to remove you from existence in the first place, being your puppet.”

I am the grim reaper that chokes these two with my own skeletal hands, a torture that is painful enough to die, yet never truly pass away. One part of me wished I didn’t waste my breath to speak those terrible words, another is happy for the resolution of being danced around in a red string.

“Be the punishment and take punishment, this is one of the only ways you can redeem yourself without dying. Project me into her, and soon enough you’ll see yourself enjoying the scars you paint with her sins.” I leaned close to her ear and closed my eyes.

If there’s a prize for effort, you’ve already won that.

Shiromoru?

You promised to not hurt me, haven’t you?

Yes, why do you ask?

There was an intense silence both in my head and with the two best friends. A gulp pushed down all of the hesitation and dissatisfaction from the words that I said, I don’t want to regret anything now. It’s all in the past, and I only have to think of their reactions and how I deal with it.

If… I told you I wanted to merge with you, to truly put myself to rest, is that okay?

Merging. So that’s her way of saying that I’m embracing her side of myself, that cruel hearted but still determined soul. I can feel that she’s scared of disappearing, but I can tell she also wants to finish this mess.

You’ll always be a part of me, Shiromoru. You are free to give me all of the devotion and brutalness that you have, and in that way, you’ll never fade.

That better be the case. I have to talk to Meru before this, I’m… Not ready.

I’ll wait until you’re ready.

“You’re right. I deserve this, she deserves this too.” Yasachu nodded as if her neck had been made out of jello, a light giggle escaped her lips while she took out a dark grin that crossed her bruised cheeks. “I’m going to hell, and I’m bringing my best friend with me.”

Her eyes are fully dusty yellow now, she’s snapped. I don’t think I can ever take back this decision. She continued to hiccup laughs, stood up and walked towards Yuutsu that was on the ground. I turned to her while she had her arms limp, back fully curved to face the floor. Her sight was focused on Yuutsu, and to the future pains she will go through, she smiles brighter than I ever saw her.

“N-no! Wait, stop! Listen, I-... Don’t! Don’t get near me!” Yuutsu forced her legs to stand up, but the glow of light magic around her body started to scorch what was left of her clothes and even her skin, tightened like rubber.

“It’s too much, but I’ll have to choose you, Yuutsu Kurogane.” Yasachu faced the horrified villain, hands on her own cheeks as she flung her body straight and squealed. “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!” And with that, a blood curdling scream of terror came from the villain that was so smug earlier.

And that’s the ending line of the game, what the protagonist drops whenever she has finished a route. More like forced a route.

I held my breath and shook my doubts away, stepped forward to Shoubu and tapped her on the shoulder. “Ara? Are you finished talking? What did she say?”

“Just ask the commoner, she’ll explain. I have to go fix Shu.”

“What do you mean fix?”

To make her embrace childish self as well.

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Hello fools happy lesbian visibility week!! I would make art but I'm being lazy so heehoo

And just only a few chapters left before this ends! (finally!)

And when it does, please take a look out for the new book that I'll be releasing!

Have a nice week LGTV premium plus!

-Volty Lemonii

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