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Usne gaadi mein baithte hi kisi kadar quwwat se darwaza kheench kar band kar diya tha. Kapkapate haatho se compartment box khol kar apni medicine nikali. Uski saansein bhaari ho chuki thi. Khansi ne haalat abtar kar di thi. Medicine lene ke baad apni seat ke saath hi kamar lagaye, gardan seedhi karke woh ab saansein kheench raha tha.
Shadeed barish mein har taraf inteha ki tareeki thi. Qareeb guzarti gaadi ki headlights aankhon pari. Jhamake se toot-te sheeshon ka manzar aankhon mein laheraya. Woh aik cheek thi jo usne suni. Woh aziyat thi jo usne apni aankhon se dekhi. Wajood lahu-luhan tha. Stretcher ke pahiye shor karne lage. Corridor ki tiles par koi wajood dheher hone laga. Wheelchair ke hathhe par rakha haath kapkapa utha, sar jhuka hua tha, sar jhuka hi raha. Rooh mein wahshat utar aayi. Iztiraab ang-ang me theher gaya. Soyi hui aziyatein jaag uthin. Zehni dabao badh gaya.
"Main aapko barbaad kar dunga," woh khud ko sun sakta tha. Waazeha sun sakta tha.
Usne full neck jacket ki zip kheench daali. Jeb se mobile nikala. Call log mein pehla number Adeel Ahmed ka tha. Usay call karke ab do khanste hue mushkil se lafz ada karte apna address bata raha tha.
"Ek naam hai aur woh bhi tumhara nahi hai."
Usne kaanon par haath rakh diye magar awaaz band na hui, shor kam na hua.
Dur kahin gaadi ka horn baja tha. Headlights phir se roshan hui thi. Shor mabham ho kar ab madham ho chuka tha. Ab barish ki bhi awaaz nahi thi.
Aziyatein pinjar seat par rakha bag, us mein jama hui ashiya, un ashiya se judi yaadein, un yaadon se judi khataein, sab samne aa gayi. Uske haath ek dam khoon aloodh ho gaye. Uski ghaltiyan uske samne aa khadi hui. Uska hosla toot gaya. Uski himmat khatam ho gayi. Uski aankhon mein paani tha. Ab aansoo aa gaye the. Rashes sirf gardan tak the, ab rooh par aa gaye the.
Yakayak khidki ke sheeshe par dastak hui. Mushkil se saans lete hue usne sar uthaya. Adeel Ahmed darwaza kholne ki koshish karte hue sheesha bajaa raha tha. Usne lock hata diya. Darwaza khul gaya tha.
"Sir, are you all right?" Woh kuch pareshaani se pooch raha tha. Usne jawab nahi diya. Uske paas jawab dene ki taqat nahi rahi thi.
Usse sahara de kar aqbi nashist par beth kar, Adeel Ahmed ne khud driving seat sambhal li thi. Das minute ki drive ke baad, woh usse qareebi hospital le aaya tha. Emergency treatment ke baad uski bigarti hui haalat kuch had tak sambhal gayi thi.
Adeel Ahmed rahdari mein chal raha tha. Usne call karke usse bulaya to woh foran aa gaya. "Sir, doctor keh raha tha, aap subah tak yahin rahein to" Yeh kehte hue usne dekha ke woh coat pehn raha tha. Usne un kadhi nigahon se usse dekha ke woh baat adhoori chhod kar sar jhuka gaya. Teen ghante to usne guzar hi liye the. Haalat khatre se bahar thi, albata khansi, zukam aur tabiyat ka farq waisa hi tha. Aankhon ki soojan bas kuch halki ho gayi thi magar surkhi hanuj thehri thi. Gardan par rashes bhi numayan the. Usse apni nahi, Jannat ki fikar thi. Woh subah se bahar tha aur woh ghar mein akeli thi. Choti choti baton par azeedah ho jati thi. Uska ghar mein hona zaroori tha.
Coat pehn kar utha to tabiyat ki kharabi ke baais qadam jamaane aur tawazun barqarar rakhne mein thodi si dushwari hui. Adeel Ahmed ne madad karne ki koshish ki to uska haath sakhti se jhatak diya. Woh apne boss ko hairat se dekh kar reh gaya.
Yeh haqeeqat thi ke woh sakht aur inteha ka rude tha magar is haalat mein uska yeh rawayya achambhe ka baais tha. Chonki Faris Wajdan ka hukum uske liye farz ki tarah tha, to koi bhi aitraz kiye baghair woh uske peeche chal diya.
Jannat ki aankh khuli to us waqt raat ke gyarah baj rahe the. Bahar shadeed barish ho rahi thi. Bijli chamakne ki awaaz bhi waqfa waqfa se sunayi dene lagi thi. Parday sameete hue the to roshniyon mein sheher bheega hua lag raha tha. Uth kar baithte hue usne apne barabar mein dekha. Faris wahan nahi tha. Usne aath baje call karke kaha tha ke woh dair se ghar aayega, tab hi usne khana kha kar jaldi so gayi thi, magar ab to kaafi waqt ho chuka tha. Mobile uthaya, notifications check kiye. Phir ooni shawl ood kar bahar aa gayi. Pura apartment mein madhyam si zarqar roshni andhere se ulajhti nazar aa rahi thi.
Woh seedha kitchen mein gayi. Paani piya. Achanak samat se khansi ki awaaz aayi to woh apni jagah tham gayi. Jaldi se murr kar lounge ki taraf dekha. Phir aage badh kar central light jalayi. Neeche carpet par shopping bags waghera rakhe hue the.
"Kya Faris ghar par hai?" Woh kuch chonk kar tezi se aage badhi. Rahdari se guzarte hue sitting area ki taraf gayi jahan woh usse deewar se lage khidkiyon ke aage couch par neem daraaz dikhai diya. Qareeb aayi to table par paani ki bottle, allergy medicines, auto injector waghera rakhe nazar aaye. Mobile sar ke paas hi tha, aur musalsal baj raha tha magar uski awaaz se Faris ki neend mein zara sa bhi khalal nahi pada tha. Woh ek dam ghabra kar uske paas baith gayi. Chehre ka rukh moda. Peshani par haath rakha. Nabz check ki, beikhtiyar sukoon bhari saans li ke uska tanafas hamwar tha. Usne mobile ulta kar dekha to andaza hua ke usne sleeping pills aur anti-depressants bhi le rakhi thi. Woh bilkul wahan baithi rahi. Aaj se pehle aisi adwiyaat uske bedroom mein, uske side table par usne kabhi nahi dekhi thi.
Kuch fikar mandi se dobara usse dekha. Jaane use thand lag rahi thi ya andar ka mausam waqai mein itna sardi tha ke reedh ki haddi mein sansanahat dhoorti hui mehsoos ho rahi thi. Woh bedroom se laahaaf utha kar le aayi. Achhe se us par phaila diya. Sar ke neeche takiye ki bhi position durust ki. Ab woh neeche carpet par baithi usse hi dekh rahi thi. Aankhon mein bohot sari fikr, bohot sara khauf, bohot sari pareshani thi.
Samajh mein nahi aa raha tha ke kisi ko call karke doctor ko bulwaye ya phir uske jaagne ka intezaar kare. Woh bohot mohtaat rehta tha, agar koi serious maamla hota to yaqeenan woh ghar na aata, seedha hospital hi jata. Lekin har tarah ki daleelo ke bawajood uski tension kisi surat kam nahi hui thi.
Woh besudh sa kaafi gehri neend so raha tha. Saansen kabhi hamaawar, aur kabhi ghair hamaawar ho jaati thi. Yaqeenan duwao ke asar mein tha, lekin waqfa waqfa se usse khansi zarur hone lagti thi. Ek do baar usne kandha hila kar jagane ki koshish ki magar no response! Jannat ki tension badhti gayi. Beqarari ke aalam mein poore ghar ka ek chakkar kaat kar woh ek baar phir uske paas aake baith gayi. Kandha hila kar, aur awaaz de kar jagaya. Ab jab tak woh jawab na deta, uski tasalli nahi ho sakti thi. Kandhe se pakad kar taqreeban jhanjhoda hi dala toh uske hawas kuch bedaar huye.
"Hmm?" Ba-mushkil aankhein kholi. Uski aankhein be-hadd surkh, poori tarah se bhaari aur suji hui thi. Honth sukhe, rangat zard.
"Tumhari tabiyat kaisi hai ab?" Usne fikrmandi se poocha. "Theek hoon," kehkar aankhein band karni chahi. Jannat ne dobara se kandha hila kar jagaya. Woh bamushkil bedaar hokar usay dekhne laga.
"Mere khayal se hospital chalna chahiye."
Woh neem ghanoodgi ke aalam mein uski aankhon mein apne liye khauf aur izteraab dekh sakta tha. "Iski zarurat nahi hai."
"Zarurat hai," usne pareshan hoke uska mobile uthaya. Haath kapkapa rahe the. Faaris ne uske haath se mobile le liya.
"Jannat, main theek hoon."
"Tumse baat tak nahi ki ja rahi." Woh ro dene ko thi.
"Maine medicine li hai. Khatra nahi hai. Ab behtar hoon," ba-mushkil kehkar usse tasalli deni chahi. Is khayal se ke woh uski wajah se pareshan ho rahi thi, woh khud bhi bechain ho raha tha. "Subah tak theek ho jaunga." Usne kaha magar Jannat ke izteraab mein kami nahi aayi thi.
"Tum Auto injector use kar lo." Woh apni kahe ja rahi thi. Pichli baar woh maut ke munh mein jaate jaate bimushkil bacha tha. Uski pareshani baja thi.
"Main bas hospital gaya tha," usne gehri saans le kar bataya. Khayal tha uski pareshani kam hogi. Magar woh aankhon mein sadma liye usse dekh kar reh gayi thi. Woh itni takleef mein tha, aur usne bataya tak nahi. Khamoshi se ghar aa gaya aur jagaya tak nahi. Woh aankhon mein mobhim si nami liye apni jagah baithi reh gayi thi.
"Epipen rakha hai agar dobara haalat kharab hui toh," usne auto injector ki taraf ishaara kiya.
Bina jane ke is waqt woh uski kisi bhi baat se mutmain hone ke bajaye mazeed aziyato mein ghar gayi thi.
Apne a'asaab par qaboo paate hue Jannat ne gehri saans li. Har tarah ke manfi khayalat ko jhatak diya. Apni is kefiyat se bahar nikal aayi.
"Tumhein apna proper ilaaj karwana chahiye." Ab woh auto injector haath mein liye uski taraf rukh kiye kalin par a'alti paalti maare baithi thi. Mohtaat hokar. Uski parwaah karne ka tahiyya kar ke uski takleef mein mukammal mubtala ho kar.
"Mujhe yeh virasat mein mila hai, apne dada se." Faaris ki aankhein band thi. Woh kisi qadar koshish se khud ko bedaar rakhe hue tha taake woh pareshan na ho.
"Oh!" Jannat ke lab ghoom huye.
"Toh tumhare kisi aur khandani member ko nahi hai? Mera matlab hai tumhare walid, ya phir..." lamhe bhar ke liye Ruki "Ya tumhare bhai ko?"
Is arsay mein pehli baar Jannat Kamal ne uske bhai ka zikar kiya tha. "Nahi, sirf mujhe!" Khanshte hue jawab diya.
"Tumhein kaafi mushkil hoti hogi. Aise khuli ya saaf suthri fiza mein bhi har waqt alert hokar rehna."
"Hmm." Uspar phir se ghanoodgi chhane lagi. Magar woh uske liye bedaar hona chahta tha. "Tumne khana kha liya tha?" "Haan" woh auto injector par lage sticker ko kharoch rahi thi. "Mummy se baat hui thi?" "Haan, woh theek hain." Jawab de kar uski jaanib dekha.
Phir khamoshi!
Mazeed khamoshi.....
Faaris ki aankhein mukammal band ho chuki thi.
Woh ghutnon par thodi tikaye usay dekhti rahi. Bahar bijli chhmakti toh khidkiyon ki taraf gardan mori.
Sheeshon par boonde ubharti aur phisalti ja rahi thi. Hawa mein yekayak tez hui thi. Roshnion mein nahaya hua sheher ekayak dhundhla hua tha.
"Mummy! Mujhe kab lene aa rahi hain?" Madhum si burburaht nama awaaz samaat se takraayi. Jannat apni jagah tham gayi. Mudkar hairat se Faaris ko dekha. Chonk kar ghutnon ke bal oopar hui.
"Kya keh rahe ho?" Chehre par jhuk kar poocha.
"Mummy, wo Hammad ko nahi chhorh sakti. Isliye nahi aati." Band aankhon ke saath woh phir budbudaya. Jannat ki dharkan tez ho gayi, usne hath badha kar usay uthana chaha phir ruk gayi.
"Tum aisa kyun keh rahe ho?"
"Agar main na gaya, toh woh mujhe maar denge." Woh keh raha tha.
"Kaun?"
"Azam Shirazi,"
Jannat ka dil ruka. Saansen tham gayi. Woh khwab dekh raha tha. Yaqeenan kisi gher haqeeqi situation mein phans gaya tha. Iske ilawa aur kuch nahi soch sakti thi. Kuch nahi keh sakti thi.
"Woh mujhe maar denge." Uski peshani par paseene ke qatre namoodaar huye the. Jannat ne besakhta uske haath ko apne haathon mein le liya.
"Woh mujhe... maar denge."
"Faaris!" Narmi se pukara.
"Woh mujhe maar denge."
"Faaris!"
"Woh, Woh mujhe..."
Jannat ne usse kandhon se pakad kar jhanjhoda. Aankhein khul gayi, jo us kuch bedaar huye. Woh neem ra aankhon se uski shakl dekh kar rohaansa hua.
"Jannat! Please mujhe sone do. Please!"
Jannat ne haath hata liye, khud bhi peeche hatt gayi. Carpet par do zanu baithi woh usay dekh rahi thi aur tab tak dekhte rahi jab tak woh poori tarah se so nahi gaya.
Hammad, Azam Shirazi... Woh uth kar washroom mein gayi. Thande paani ke chhapkke chehre par maar liye. Washbasin par haath rakhe woh kitni hi der tak khadi rahi. Uski dhadkan mamool se hatt kar thi. Aaine mein khud ko dekha toh...
Aapne bath tub par rakhe kapron par nazar padi. Jeans, shirt, sweater, coat aur sab hi bheege hue the. Usne uthakar dekha, itni shadeed barish mein aakhir woh kahan gaya tha? Phir usne coat ki jebein talashi toh ek keychain haath mein aayi. Uska ek sira toota hua tha. Teen chabiyan judi hui thi. Ek kaala rang ka mobile phone tha, mehenga magar teen chaar saal purana model. Screen par cracks the.
Usne woh cheezen jaisi thi, waisi rakh di. Gahri saans lekar ek baar phir uske paas aakar khadi ho gayi. Neend ki haalat mein uska daayna haath gir kar ground tak aaya tha. Jald par jahan rashes the shayad wahan kharish ho rahi thi. Usne Faris ka haath pakar kar wahan se hata diya. Shirt aur sweater ke upar ke buttons khol kar usne Gardan aur seene par jahan jahan laal nishaan dekhe, cream lagayi.
Ek baar phir usay bohot fikrmandi se dekha. Aankhon mein ab ke ajeeb sa tasur ubhra. Sukhe honthon ko tar karte hue woh uska haath apne haathon mein liye bethi rahi. Woh neend mein bhi kaafi se zyada bechain tha. Gardan ko jambish dete hue har baar uske chehre par takleef deh tasuraat ubhar aate the. Peshani paseene se tar batar ho jaati aur saanse ghair hamwar ho jati thi.
Woh saari raat Jannat ne pareshaani ke alam mein uske paas carpet par baith kar aankhon mein guzar di. Subah ki namaz ke baad jab uski hararat kuch kam hui aur woh neend mein bhi kuch pur sukoon hua to uski jaan mein jaan aayi. Takiya, comforter utha kar, Dheere se uth kar uske barabar mein neeche carpet par soyi toh phir dopahar ke dherh baje hi aankh khuli. Neem khuli aankhon se woh mez ko dekhti rahi, yeh sochti rahi, woh carpet par kya kar rahi hai? Aur kyun?
Faris ka khayal aaya, ghabra kar uth kar baith gayi.
Woh sofa par uski taraf rukh kiye letay tha. Ek cushion sar ke neeche, doosra taangon mein phansa tha. Comforter half sofa par toh half neeche gira hua tha. Woh aaram deh haalat mein bazoo mod kar sar ke neeche rakhe...
Jannat ne uske izharat se, jazbaat se, aankhon ke tasur aur tasuraat ki hikayat se mukammal khabar paayi. Usne ghutno ke bal upar uth kar dekhne lagi. Hawaayi udi hui thi. "Tum theek ho?" Andaaz aisa tha jaise agar usne na kaha toh woh do pal mein faut ho jayegi.
Khamoshi...
"Faris?" usne ghabra kar aankhon ke saamne haath hilaya. Phir uski peshani par apna thanda haath rakha. Hararat toh bilkul bhi nahi thi.
"Ab theek hoon." Usne kaha. Aawaaz bhaari, gambhir aur be inteha gehri thi.
Jannat ne be-ikhtiyaar sukoon bhari saans li. Phir usay khushamdi nazaron se ghura. "Tumne mujhe bataya nahi, kal raat tumhari billiyo ke sath meeting thi?"
Faris ke labon par tabassum bikhar gaya. Aankhon ki nami kuch aur barh gayi.
"Tum kya karti?"
"Tumhare sath jaati. Aur kya?" Jal kar boli.
"Ba khuda, usne billiyon se qata talluq kar liya tha magar shauhar namdar ko har doosre teesre haftay phir bhi allergy ho jati thi. Faiyda billiyo se door rehne ka?"
Woh carpet par thi, aur sofa par kehni lagaye intehaai sanjeedgi aur kuch barhami se usay dekh rahi thi. Faris ne haath barhakar uske gaal par phisalti lath ko kaan ke peeche kar diya.
"Tum kaisi ho?"
"Mujhe kya hona hai?" Shaan-e-bayniazi se kaha.
"Kaafi pareshaan thi tum."
"Nahi, bilkul bhi nahi! Mujhe toh sirf aunty ki fikr ho rahi thi jinhe tum jesa la- parwa aur nalaik beta mila hai."
"Yeh nalaik Shirazi Enterprises ka CEO hai."
Woh uth kar baith gaya. Nigahain central table par rakhi apni dawaaiyon par pad gayi toh ekdam se apni amliyat ka ehsaas hua. anti depressants aur sleeping pills samne hi rakhi thi.
"Tum raat kahaan gaye the?" Wo pooch rahi thi.
"Shopping mall!"
"Uske ilawa?"
"Kahin nahi." Mukhtasir kehkar kahin aur dekhne laga.
Woh chand sekon tak muntazir rahi, shayad woh kuch kahega, magar...
"Haan! Mujhe kyun bataoge tum!" Jannat ko gussa aagaya. "Main tumhari life partner thodi hoon jisse tum apne gham ya raaz share karoge."
Woh paon patakti hui wahan se chali gayi. Faris ne sar uthakar usay jaate dekha. Nigahain bhatakti hui fars par aa thehri. Waqt guzar gaya tha. Zhkam bhar gaye the. Dard abhi bhi uth raha tha, sar se baazu se, pet ke dahine hisse se bhi. Hath bhi jhakmi the. Rooh bhi majruh thi.
Wo usay kya bataye wo usay kya dikhaye. Gehri saas le ke anti- depressants, aur sleeping pills jeb me rakh ke wo washroom chala gaya. Fresh ho kar jab bahar aaya to wo dining table par khana laga chuki thi. Nashte ka waqt to waise bhi guzar chuka tha. Wo kursi kheech kar uske samne beth gaya. Khane ke darmiyan mukammal khamoshi rahi na wo usay dekh raha tha na wo koi baat kar rahi thi. Albatta kahe baghae aik nazar us par daal leti thi. Khane ke baad chai bana kar wo lounge me aa gayi. Ek cup uske aage rakha, aur apna cup hatho me liye dusre sofe par beth gayi. Wo be maksaad channel's badal raha tha, mamool ke bar aksh bahut khamosh tha.
"Chai thandi ho jayegi" usne kaha to tray qareeb karke pani ka glass utha liya. Apni tablets muh me rakhte hue, pani piya. Usay Faris ki khamoshi par ghussa aane laga. "Uske har mamlat par khabar rakh kar apne sabhi mamlat se usay bekhabar rakha hua tha. Aur ye nahi ki koi baat share karle?" soch kar tap chari, sar utha kar usay dekha.
"Kal raat tum mujhse baat karte rahe." Aik lamhe ka tawaqquf karke izhaar Kiya. "Nind me!" Faris ko achhu laga. Khaste hue uski taraf dekha.
"Mein baate karta raha?" Aankho me be yakeeni utar aayi. Jannat ne asbat me sar hilaya.
"Tumse?" hairat.
"Haan"
"Nind mein?" Sadma.
"Bilkul"
Woh andar tak sun ho gaya. Lekin phir yeh soch kar ke Jannat is tarah ki baatein sirf tang karne ke liye kar sakti hai, toh kuch pur sukoon ho gaya.
"Nice try, lekin mujhe neend mein baatein karne ki aadat nahi hai." Apna cup utha kar muskuraya. Woh bhi muskurayi.
"Haan, jaanti hoon lekin kal raat tumne baatein ki. Khud se bolte rahe."
Woh mazaak mein le rahi thi magar Faris ke tasuraat mein yakayak sanjeedgi utar aayi.
"Aisa nahi ho sakta." Woh qat'ii lehje mein bola.
"Ho chuka hai." Woh maze mein thi.
"Kya baat ki maine?" Ab ke woh uski aankhon mein iztiraab dekh sakti thi.
"Lo, tum toh abhi maan hi nahi rahe the." Woh hansi.
"Jannat, main mazaak ke mood mein nahi hoon." Woh sanjeeda tha.
"Main bhi bohot serious ho kar baat kar rahi hoon." Woh chai mein cheeni daal kar chamach hilane lagi.
"Maine kya kaha?"
"Kuch aisa jo pehle kabhi nahi kaha." Woh uski kashmakash se lutf andoz ho rahi thi.
Faris ne ghoor kar usay dekha.
"Main bhala tumhe kyu batau?" Jawaban usne aur zyada ghura.
"Toh phir kise bataogi?"
"Doctor Bukhari ko aur kise?"
"Don't you dare!" Usne cup rakh diya.
Jannat ke chehre par kai tarah ke musarrat bhare rang bikhar gaye. Itne dino se woh usay tang kar raha tha. Aakhirkar aaj woh usay zich karne mein kaamyab ho hi gayi thi.
"Mujhe Doctor Bukhari ne kaha tha agar main tumhare behavior mein kisi bhi tarah ka badlao dekhoon, ya kisi medicine ke istemal ke baad kuch bhi tabdeeli mehsoos karoon toh unhein zaroor aagah karoon."
"Main thaka hua tha, mujhe allergy bhi hui. Agar dawaiyon ke zair-e-asar kuch keh bhi diya toh kya ho gaya?"
"Kuch bhi nahi hua. Kya maine koi aitraaz kiya?" Woh maze se chai ke ghoont le rahi thi.
"Jannat!" Woh achha khaasa chir gaya.
"Jo bhi baat hogi, Doctor Bukhari se hogi." Usne haath utha kar ilan kiya.
"Tum jaanti ho woh hi se rabtey mein rehte hain." Woh sahih maano mein usay pareshan nazar aaya tha.
"Nahi, main bilkul nahi jaanti." Woh usay tang kar ke bohot khushi mehsoos kar rahi thi.
Woh apni jagah se uth khada hua.
"Mere liye yeh bohot serious baat hai. Please!" Woh azehad sanjeeda tha.
"Tum darr kyun rahe ho?"
"Main darr nahi raha. Main..." Woh kuch kehte kehte ruka. "Tumhein mujhe jagana chahiye tha, na ke is tarah mujhe sunti rahti." Usne jhadak diya.
"Jagaya toh tha. Tumne mujhe jhirak diya aage se." Woh aankhon mein iztiraab liye khaas gai. "Aur agar sun bhi liya toh kya ho gaya?" Usne lehje mein narmi samokar masoomiyat se palkain jhapkayin.
Faris ke lab bheench gaye. Aankhon mein narazgi utar aayi. Peshani par dheer saare bal liye woh lounge se chala gaya.
"Chai toh pi lo!" Woh uth kar tezi se uske peeche aayi. Magar koi jawab diye baghair usne bedroom ka darwaza gusse se band kar diya tha. Jannat apni jagah khadi reh gayi thi.
âââ