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khawab bhayanak tha. aawaze takleef deh.
'ammi..! ammi...! ammi! '
woh cheektey huye jhatkay se uth kar baith gayi thi. sir se paiir tak pasine mein sharabor. larazta, kanpta wujood aur bhaari tanaffus.
"Ye roz roz ka kya tamasha laga rakha hai tum ne?" aglay hi lamhay woh is ke sir par dahara tha.
kuch khawab ki wehshat thi aur kuch faris ki dehshat. woh sehem kar reh gayi. jane woh ab kya ke raha tha. kisi baat par chilla raha tha. usay pata nahi tha. yaad tha to bas yahi ke baazu se pakar kar is ne usay kamray se bahar kya tha .
haan yaad thi to darwaaza band honay ki woh aawaz jo kaafi der tak uske kaanon mein gunjti rahi thi. ki woh woh abhi tak , apne khawab ke assar mein thi. laraz rahi thi. kpkpa rahi thi. wehshat o be sukooni ki daldal mein utarti jarahi thi.
'woh raat. woh is ki zindagi se nikal kyun nahi jati?' nangay paiir thanday farsh par baithtay hue is ne apne gird bazu bandh liye. sir ghutnon par rakh liya.
'Jannat! Nahi Jannat! Please..! Jannat mera bacha..!'
"Mujhe bakhash do Allah ke liye" apne kaanon par haath rakhtay hue woh phoot phoot kar ro di
Iski saari bardasht is aawaz par khtam ho jati thi. yahi cheekh yahi pukaar is ki dhajiyan bekhair deti thi. jee chahta tha woh khud ko noch khasoot daaley, zakhmi aur lholhan karle.
'saari zindagi tum ne ammi ko dukh diye hain. saari zindagi tum un ke liye museebat bani rahi ho jannat.' aur ab yeh awazon ka silsila shuru ho gaya tha.
'ammi...! ammi...! ammi...! Darwaza kholen' woh hawaas bakhta ho kar darwaaza bajanay lagi.
"Farish darwaaza kholo please!"
Raahdaari ka maljama andhera roshni mein badal gaya tha. March ki woh shab apni tamam tarikeon ke sath is ke dimagh mein halool kar gayi thi.
"please! darwaaza kholo faris." khuda ke liye woh gur gurai 'bi bi jee! maheen bi bi ki tabiyat kharab ho gayi hai.' gaari ka horn kahin daur se baja tha.
"Faris.!" is ki hichikiyaan bndh gayeen. woh darwazay par zor zor se haath maarny lagi. magar darwaaza nahi khula tha. Us raat bhi nahi khula tha .
'Maheen, Burhan wasif ki doosri biwi.'
woh darwazay se ghisat kar neechay baith gayi. Usne apne mun par haath rakh liya tha. apni cheekhon ka gala bas woh aisay hi ghoont sakti thi. tamam manazair film ki terhan dimagh ki screen par chalne lagey. woh hanpti kaanpti, shiddat se roti study room mein band ho gayi. thanday farsh par tangon ko seenay se lagaye woh saari raat aik hi position mein baithi rahi thi .
Aur band darwaaza subah ke saat bujey khula tha. hamesha ki terhan tak suck se tayyar woh office table ki janib barha tha. jannat darwazay ki baen taraf farsh par ghatney seenay se lagaye baithi thi. sir uthaye surkh o mutwaram aankhon se ab usay dekhnay lagi thi .
'Yeh kaghazi rishta hai, kaghaz tak mehdood rahay ga..'
Etraaf se yaksar be nayazi brtte hue is ne laptop case mein laptop rakha, apni file uthai. kuch Jaruri Documents aur prints ka sarsari jaiza liya aur phir usay mukammal tor par nazar andaaz karta study se chala gaya.
'Yeh ehsas kitna aziat naak hota hai ke aap mojood hon aur koi aap ko Adham kar day. aap marwarai ho jayen, nazar hi nah ayen.'
ansoo bohat pehlay khushk ho chuke thay. woh ab ro nahi rahi thi. Aadatan apne dahinay haath ki kalayi baen haath mein mazbooti se tha se pathar hui baithi thi.
'Toota insaan ya to saans ki terhan saakin ho jata hai ya phir samandari lehron ki terhan sarkash!' kis qader koshish se woh uth kar khari hui. ulje bikhare balon ko samaitt kar study se bahar aagai.
is ka rukh bed room ki taraf tha. kuch hi der mein woh wash besin par jhuki hui thi. phir woh dressing table ke samnay khari, apne baal bana rahi thi. fresh ho kar neechay aayi to turning hall mein Mrs. Shirazi aur faris mojood thay.
Uski roi roi ki ankhen sooji hui aur mutwaram lag rahi theen magar chehray par Bishashat thi. Labon par muskurahat. aik acting faris kar raha tha. aik woh kar rahi thi. dono kamaal ke adakar thay.
'woh tumhe Adam kar raha hai, aur tum usay aisa karne day rahi ho?'
Usne faris ko dekha. Uska chehra har tarah ke ta-assur se aari tha .
koi insaan itna be hiss, itna be reham kaisay ho sakta hai ?
'Jb koi apne liye khud be reham aur safaaq ho jaye to usay doosron ki safaqiyat par sawal nahi uthana chahiye.' wohi aawaz.
Halaq mein ubhartay aanso-on ke phandey ko neechay utaartay hue woh palat kar jhuk gayi. churee kantay ki madad se cheese omelette khatay hue is ki ungelian kpkpa rahi theen.
woh faris ko dekhna nahi chahti thi magar nigehain theen ke baar baar uske par sukoon aur mutmaen chehray ki taraf uth jati theen. woh -apne yateem bhateejay ko apni sarparasti mein lainay ko tayyar nah tha. woh usay apni zindagi mein koi maqam dainay ko amaada nah tha. aisay insaan se mohabbat to daur ki baat. reham ki umeed bhi nahi rakhi ja sakti thi aur woh tawaqqa kar rahi thi ke is ka dil naram ho jayega!. Wo use sirf or sirf bardasht kar raha tha. Or Jannat iski bardasht me gunzaish dekh rahi thi?
'Pichhli baar khala aayi thi, is baar koi nahi aayega! Is baar tumhari koi madad nahi kar sakega!' Usne chai ke ghoot ke sath kayi aansuon ko apne andar utar liye the.
Nashte ke baad wo Mrs. Shirazi ke sath lown me aa gayi thi. Lown chairs par unke samne wo dhoop me bethi to wo use baghor dekhne lagi.
"Tum saari raat roti rahi ho?" Unhone itne achanak se pucha ki lamhe bhar ke liye wo kamzor padh gayi thi. Aankhon ke kinare nam hue, honth kapkapa ke reh gaye. Dil chaha sab kuch unke gosh guzar karde.
"N-Nahi! Asal me sardard ki wajah se me thik se so nahi payi, nind Puri na ho to meri aankhein aesi ho jati hai!"
Mrs. Shirazi ne iske wajahti jawab ko khamoshi se suna. Phir wo samne amaltaj ke patton ko dekhne lagi , jo bairuni deewaron par jhuke hue the. Mamool ke barak wo jara khamosh si thi.
"Farish tumhare sath kaisa hai?" Chnd Roz kabl unhone puchha tha, aaj dobara puchh rahi thi. chnd roz kabl Aankhon me jhak kar puchha tha. Aaj Aankhein chura kar puchh rahi thi.
"Bahut achha hai!" Hamesha ki tarah iski muskurahat aankhon tak nahi pahunchi thi. Usne Abhi tak Faris ke Jarihana rawaiyye ki bhanak unhe nahi padhne di thi. Wo heart patient thi, beemar rehti thi. Use ehsaas tha. Yahi wajah thi ki Faris inke samne mohtat ho jata tha. Aur koi bhi aisi harkat nahi karta tha jisse ye jahir ho ki inka talluq kis nowwiyat ka hai.
"Aapki tabiyat theek hai?" Jannat ko taswish hui thi. Unhone iski taraf dekha phir hash di. Na jane unhe hashi kis baat par aayi thi? Magar is hashi me bhi bebasi thi.
"haan, mein theek hon!" woh jannat ke gaal par haath rakh kar mohabbat se bolein.
"Tumhari tarah mein bhi theek se so nahi payi." jannat nam aankhon se inhen dekh kar reh gayi. dono ka apna aik dard tha, aur dono hi aik dosray se chhupana chaah rahi theen. jannat ne gehra saans le kar hirmaan misri ki kitaab khol li thi. khaali alzhni ki kefiyat mein woh ab matlooba safha talaash kar rahi thi .
Jo insaan apne yateem bhateejay ke liye be reham ho, woh is ke liye reham dil kaisay ho sakta hai? jo nikah jaisay mazboot rishte ka mazaaq bana day, is insaan se woh kisi achhai ki umeed rakh bhi kaisay sakti hai?
is ne sar utha kar mrs Sharazy ko dekha, woh khoyi khoyi baithi theen. nigahein daur kahin bhatak rahi theen. chehra kisi posheeda dard ki akkaasi kar raha tha.
'Tum aik baar phir khud ko halaat ke dhaaray par chore rahi ho jannat! tum aik baar phir wohi ghalti dohra rahi ho'
kitaab par is ki ungliyo ki girift yaka yak mazboot hui thi. 'Toota hua insaan ya to saans ki terhan saakin hota hai ya phir samandari lehron ki terhan sarkis!' Nana aksar use karte thay. magar jo saakin hota hai, usey sarkash honay mein dair bhi nahi lagti. yeh baat ab woh faris wajdan ko batane wali thi.
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