Ewan woke to the sound of his alarm, sighing through his nose. Slowly, he glanced over to the other side of the bed to find Ben sleeping, body not tense for once.
He only looked truly peaceful when he was sleeping. Otherwise, he was stressed or panicking and mumbling about Ezra.
The weather had been intense for the past three days - ever since Ezra had shown to be possessed, ever since he'd run away with a bullet in his heart, ever since Ben and Ewan almost kissed in the rain.
Ever since Ben trusted that Ewan wouldn't willingly abandon him.
The two hadn't gone home together since that day, but they always woke up together. Sometimes Ewan woke up to a shifting in the bed, sometimes he woke up to rain once Ben opened the window to let himself in. Sometimes he woke up to a forehead kiss and sometimes he woke up to silent sobbing.
It wasn't that Ewan was complaining. He wished it was under better circumstances, but he and Ben were on healthy terms now.
Something about the way Ben spoke made it seem like he was keeping secrets, though. It was always a possibility that he just had a lot on his mind, what with Ezra leaving and Charlie coming to school with bruises on his body.
In the back of his mind, Ewan was worried about Ezra. He was scared that the blind boy would die because of the world Ewan had brought to him. But he had to have faith that Gregory would be greedy enough to keep his human alive.
"Turn it off," Ben grumbled through the alarm. He turned, planting his face into the sheets.
Ewan slammed a hand against the alarm. He didn't understand how to turn it off, didn't know anything, really, about the world's technology, but slapping it had been working for the past two weeks. He was doing something right.
"Ben," Ewan said softly, "we need to go to school."
"My attendance is fine," Ben growled, voice muffled. "Go back to sleep... please."
Ewan grinned, setting his head on his shoulder, looking at Ben. His messy hair, his handsome morning voice, his wrinkled shirt, even the way all of his muscles were, for once, relaxed. Absentmindedly, Ewan reached out stroked Ben's back.
He sighed through his nose,knowing he had to get Ben up despite how badly he wanted to lay back down. "You told me you had seven more absences than you're allowed. I don't think they're fine. Come on, get up." He patted the other's back, and Ben groaned.
"Alright," Ewan said through a sigh. He turned Ben over so he was on his back.
Ben grinned bashfully, pulling a pillow and putting it over his face. Small snickers came from him as he tried to turn back on his stomach.
"Hey," snapped Ewan. He grabbed the pillow from Ben, who went to snatch it back, but Ewan swooped in and hovered his lips right over the others. He gave the implication that he wanted to kiss, but he stayed right above the other's lips, waiting for him to take the bait.
The other went still, letting go of the pillow. The two met eyes and Ben bit his lip, hesitating. Maybe he knew what he was in for because Ewan had done this every morning the past three days, but he went for it anyway. The other boy leaned forward to meet Ewan's lips in a kiss, but Ewan leaned back... back... back... until Ben was sitting up.
"Time for school, Ben," teased Ewan, getting up.
He listened as Ben sighed through his nose and set the pillow on his lap, hugging it.
The weather was good in the mornings, usually, and it only drizzled when Ben was asleep, which he hadn't been doing a lot. Or, at the right times.
Ben had fallen asleep in class twice, as far as Ewan knew, once during lunch, three times while they were talking, and he'd fallen asleep on his motorcycle before even beginning to drive home. Which was a good thing, of course. But it also a bad thing.
Mornings were like this now, though. They woke up together, shared an 'almost-kiss,' then Ben got depressed and it started to rain. He had no control over how his emotions affected the weather - not yet, at least. But thankfully there hadn't been any intense fires. Only a few trees bursting into flames from lightning.
"Will you-" Ben sighed, pinching the pillowcase absently. "Will you say it?"
"Ben," mumbled Ewan, sitting down beside the other, "love, I'm not sure it's..."
The two met eyes and Ewan witnessed the toll exhaustion had taken on him. The redness and blackness around his eyes were more vivid, making him not only look sad but also lost and confused. And Ewan was very quick to give in.
Taking in a shaky breath, he reached up and combed some of Ben's messy hair down. "Ezra's going to survive today." If it was a lie, this town was probably going to burn.
Ben listened intently. His body was tense and the wind whipped for a good second. Every muscle in Ewan's body tensed but then the other relaxed and as did the air.
Ezra was fine.
"I hope he's not in pain," whispered Ben.
He got out of bed, taking off his sweater and replacing it with one of the many t-shirts Ewan had bought him. Ben had refused to go shopping or even change his clothes if they were at his house, so Ewan took the liberty of shopping for him and had decided to enhance his wardrobe by buying clothes that fit the season.
Though, considering Ben's mood, he should have bought a rain jacket instead.
Today, Ben wore a green-grey button-up with what looked like white paint splatters. That, coupled with plain black jeans - as he refused to wear anything else - looked quite striking on the other and, despite how depressing the situation, Ewan was left admiring Ben and smothering a grin.
Ben's clenched jaw and sad eyes made Ewan sigh and rub the other's arm.
"Hey," Ewan said softly, "let's just get through today, right? He'll be fine today."
Ben was quiet for a second, looking the other over silently. He looked absolutely contemplative before he just sat down on the bed and smiled gently.
The mortal brought Ewan to the bed by the hands, and he set his chin against Ewan's stomach gently, letting out a sigh, looking up at Ewan with his beautiful blue eyes. "I'm so lucky to have you," he breathed. "What did I do to deserve you?"
Ewan forced a grin. "God and Satan took pity, I guess."
The other only snorted a flat chuckle. "Thank you," he mumbled. "I'm a mess. Thanks for..." He looked up at Ewan. "Thanks for staying."
Ewan opened his mouth to reply, but the door opened and both of them jolted away from each other.
Jamie stood in the doorway, looking at the two, unnerved.
It took some time, but Ewan had explained some of the situation to him. The parts that didn't include Heaven, Hell, angels, demons, possession, Enchantments, or... anything of the like. He'd taken it well, considering he thought Ewan was the only one truly built for helping Ben.
"Are you riding to school with Ben?" Jamie asked.
Ewan was silent for a second. He knew Jamie quite liked giving Stirling rides to school - a time that both of them had looked forward to as bonding. But Ben's mentality was more important than Jamie's feelings, so he nodded.
"I'd love it if you picked me up, th-"
"We'll see," Jamie cut him off, shrugging. His eyes landed on Ben. There seemed to be some sort of underlying pity masked by indifference. With a slow nod, he shut the door, leaving Ben and Ewan.
"We'd better go," Ben mumbled. He got up, gently pushing Ewan back.
Ewan slipped on a baby pink T-shirt with some weird band logo in the corner and sky blue Capri shorts. Something about the bright colors made him feel as though things were going to be alright, but that could just be him trying to make himself feel better. Either or, he put it on, putting his phone in his back pocket.
He wanted to say something to Ben, something to help relax him, but the weather was brewing and the sky was dark. Nothing could help. Nothing but Ezra coming back or even Charlie not having bruises on his body.
It was outrageous, thinking about how meaningless words could be at this point. No matter how thankful Ben seemed when Ewan said something, he knew they weren't helping. The only thing even minorly helping was Ewan saying Ezra was fine. And that was a matter of chance.
They passed Jamie and Stirling's father on the way out. The two were talking in the kitchen and went silent as the teens passed them. Ewan cleared his throat.
"See you this afternoon," he said.
"How did he get in?" asked Stirling's father. "We have... a-alarms."
"Sorry," mumbled Ben.
"No," Stirling's father said, "don't... don't worry about it."
To which Ben only smiled awkwardly and put his hands in his pockets, heading to his motorcycle. Ewan followed, grinning.
"I guess you've met my parents," he joked. "I think it... it went well."
Ben didn't reply, simply getting on his motorcycle and putting in the key. The engine started and once Ewan got on, he began driving.
For the past three days, the days they'd driven together, Ben had been reckless. Part of Ewan thought it was because he actually just wanted to die.
That sounded more intense than seemed necessary, but... well, it was possible.
When they got to school, though, Ewan decided it was because Ben wanted to meet Ezra at the steps like they always did.
He hadn't been there so far, obviously, and Ben was always left standing on the stairs until the bell told him he was late.
Just as he was now. Ewan remained on the motorcycle, watching Ben glance around feverishly, waiting for Ezra. Hopelessly.
Ewan sighed, getting off the motorcycle and heading to class. Things felt dense, usually, and heavy, but at least he was getting enough sleep. Mainly because sleeping with the other made him sleep very well, but he did sometimes want to pass out. The heavy sound of the rain from the outside paired with the utter silence of the room as everyone read practically begged him to sleep.
But he didn't and rather thought about where Gregory would go.
Or rather, where Ezra would make Gregory go if he could.
Ewan hadn't been on the Surface long enough to know where things were, but he knew banks existed - of course, he didn't know if they'd been modified since he died, but he did know they were a place to get all your greedy longings out. However, money was useless to dead people. And Gregory, above all demons, knew that. He was greedy for the flesh, for souls, lives. Greedy for the number of deaths he could rack up.
Chances were, he'd be in a populated place.
The problem was not only that there were probably plenty of those around, but also that Ewan didn't know any of them.
He didn't want to ask Ben, as all the wounds were still fresh. Even if Ben would do anything to get Ezra back, Ewan knew the other wasn't in any condition to fight, let alone see his best friend bleeding all over the place. He didn't want to ask Charlie either since the boy was also in a bad spot. The memory of all the lives he could have taken along with the idea that his body had been a vessel for the near end of everyone at Grayville High... and he couldn't have stopped it.
Or maybe he was burdened with the fact that he full well could have. If Ezra, a blind boy with about as much aggression in him as a brainless jellyfish had been able to, why couldn't Charlie?
The answer was probably simply that Nathaniel had fueled Charlie's wrath, made him bloodthirsty for any bit of revenge he could have gotten against Ben. Because the Overseer was gifted, after all, with bringing out anyone's biggest wraths.
His thoughts were put on hold as Charlie walked in with Rain.
The girl was becoming anything but distant. All she knew was that Stirling witnessed Ben beat up Charlie and then got beat up himself. He hadn't clarified if it had been Charlie or Ben who had beat him up because, frankly, it was both of them, and he didn't want to explain just how complicated the situation was.
It always made Ewan wonder if he really needed to keep Stirling's memory going. Keep his life going. If this was the life Ewan was going to live, if Stirling was truly dead and never coming back, what was the point of acting like him? If only to keep Stirling's parents happy?
What if he lived the life he wanted to live at school?
He wanted to talk to Ben about it. Probably just sit under his ceiling fan, feet at different sides of the bed but their heads beside each other, listening to each other whisper-talk and plan about what Ewan wanted to do with his new life.
And maybe Ben would like the idea of Ewan existing the way he wanted until he went back to Hell. Just until he went back to Hell.
Charlie sat down beside Ewan, silent. The bruises on his neck were the only ones Ewan could see, but he knew they were all over his body.
"How are you feeling?" Ewan mumbled, glancing over at him nervously.
So far Charlie had just proven to be incredibly irritated, which was understandable considering he'd been possessed by the Overseer of Wrath. Ewan was trying his best to be sympathetic but it was difficult when the other had tried to kill everyone and had mortally wounded Ben and Ezra.
Indirectly, of course, but it was still his body.
"How do I look?" the other seethed. His voice was rough and sharp, probably because his throat had almost been crushed. They clashed eyes and Ewan clenched his jaw, blood chilling. He looked into the gaze of someone who truly had been to Hell and back. Of someone who was going back whether they liked it or not.
"Angry," Ewan offered after he'd gathered his breath. He shrugged tentitively. "Sort of sad, too. Very... very sad, or guilty?"
"Why would I be guilty?" Charlie asked. His words were slow, well articulated, no longer charismatic as they had been before he died. Hell had changed him, surely.
"Maybe because you almost let yourself kill everyone?" whispered Ewan, raising an eyebrow. He swallowed anxiously, tapping his pencil against the desk. The other wasn't looking away so he turned his gaze to the paper on his desk. "O-Or not, I don't know. M-Maybe because you know you're going to Hell and can't change that."
Charlie was quiet before he mumbled, "Ben said I could." He glanced to the side. "Change, I mean. Ben Sawyer, of all people."
"I'm surprised he told you that," Ewan whispered. "You hurt him."
"Nathaniel hurt him."
"You stabbed him," Ewan said. "You stabbed him and beat him to a pulp."
Charlie rubbed a hand over his face, setting his elbows on the desk. "I want to change." His voice was soft and full of pain. "I really... really want to change."
"Well, everyone says that," Ewan muttered, looking to the side.
The other leaned forward, grabbing Ewan's attention. "But I need to change, Ewan. I don't want to go to Hell again, get tortured again..." Charlie sniffed, his sullen eyes surveying the classroom. His gaze reminded Ewan of Ben. The sort of vulnerable moodiness that hid in both of their eyes. "You're the only one who knows what that's like. The seclusion, the isolation, the closed rooms that have no doors, no windows... feeling like bits of your soul are leaving every single time the demon sees you but at least there's someone there, right? Not just you and the screams of everyone else."
"No one wants to go to Hell," Ewan snapped, swallowing weakly.
The idea of helping the other change wasn't inviting, but he also felt like it was his duty to make sure Charlie didn't go to Hell again. Maybe it was because he sent him the first time, maybe it was because Charlie did seem genuine. Maybe it was because he felt all too responsible for Charlie going to Hell.
"But I've already been," Charlie continued. He shifted, facing Ewan now. "And now I have a chance to fix all the shit I've done - be someone better. Do some... some good or something."
Ewan's eyes skimmed the room as he simmered in thought. He wanted to help Charlie. In fact, he felt like he needed to.
But it wasn't his place and he didn't even know how to be good. He'd gone to Hell, after all.
He side-glanced at the other, thinking of any reason as to why he shouldn't. "You didn't do anything while Nathaniel attempted to kill everyone you ever loved. I don't-"
"He did," Charlie breathed. His fists were clenched, his gaze firm.
"What?"
"Nathaniel did kill everyone I loved." Charlie sighed through his nose. His gaze turned into a painful attempt to look like he didn't have emotions. "He killed my parents... Said it would be easier if they were 'out of the equation.' My little sister was at a friends house, thankfully, but... I don't know what to tell her. I don't know what to tell my grandparents, my aunts, my uncles. The freaking cops. And I don't know what to tell June - I don't know how to explain these stupid bruises on my neck to her, I can't even see through my left I, I-"
"Okay," snapped Ewan. He threw his hands into the air half-heartedly, shrugging in defeat. "Fine, you've sucessfully guilt-tripped me... Talk to Gabrielle, alright? She's the person for the job."
Charlie looked like he was recovering. "But she's... she's never been to Hell. And I doubt she's going-" Charlie went quiet, realization dawning on him. "Oh."
"Yeah," Ewan said. "And she's possessed by an angel. That's, like... double Heaven."
Charlie went quiet, gaze shifting to his desk. He rubbed his face until his hands shifted to just gently skimming the bruises on his neck. Then he looked over to Ewan with a bit of reluctance. "Any news on Ezra? Or is he still..."
Gone. The word was gone. Was Ezra still gone, missing, not quite dead but probably almost there. Was Ezra still about to die?
"Still," was all Ewan said.
So maybe Charlie did feel guilty for what he'd done. The way he looked down as he asked and even the way he held himself as the words passed his lips made it evident he felt bad for not taking control, for being the one to plant the bullet in Ezra's heart. Because Ewan was sure Charlie was asking himself the same question Ewan had asked himself.
If Ezra had managed to take control of an Overseer, why hadn't Charlie?
"I didn't want to hurt him," Charlie admitted. He looked over at Ewan with eyes that spoke a lack of pity and rather, a feeling of justice. But at least now they spoke the same person they belonged to.
"You still did," Ewan retorted. He sat back. "It still happened even though you 'didn't mean to' or whatever."
"I did mean to."
Ewan coughed out a breath of shock. But of course he meant to. He meant to hurt Ezra - he didn't want to, but he meant to. Because by hurting Ezra, by putting a bullet in his leg, he-
"I meant to hurt Ben, though," Charlie finished. "I wanted to hurt him just like he hurt me."
"Because he killed Stirling... and he almost killed you."
Charlie swallowed, looking down at his hands as he fidgeted with his pencil. "He may not have meant to kill Stirling, but he did. My best friend... he's possessed by a demon now because of Ben. And I'm not getting him back." He sighed through his nose, running a hand over his face. "He's lucky I left him with his face in tact."
"You broke his nose," Ewan offered. "And he's had his black eye for about a week now."
The other breathed out a chuckle. His eyes swam around the room before he looked back at Ewan. "So you're not mad that I did what I did."
"Oh, I am," Ewan said. He cleared his throat, memories flooding his head. "And if Ezra dies, you can forget everything that just happened. But... I understand what it's like to lose someone and... and to want revenge. You just better hope Ezra lives."