Monday
To no surprise at all, the moment the clocks turned to midnight to signify the beginning of Saturday, rain had abruptly started pouring down. It continued on into Sunday too, and now that it was Monday, you could barely see 5 inches in from of you without a barrage of water crashing into your eyes.
Jisung tapped his foot on the floor of the classroom, distracted as he attempted to calm himself down. The blond had chosen to act on Heihyun's advice and talk to Felix in order to explain things, so that they could reunite as friends.
While it sounded simple on paper, Jisung's mind was picking it apart to find absolutely everything that could go wrong, even if there wasn't anything to look for.
What if he doesn't listen to me?
What if he wants to cut me out completely?
Was this all just a dream?
He wished it was, it would make everything a lot less complicated.
It didn't take long for the lesson to end, and the moment the bell went Jisung was up out of his chair and running down the corridors to get outside. The rain had grown heavier still, if that was even possible, and students were hurrying in and out of the building.
Jisung stood still among them, squinting as best he could for any sign of Felix. The snowy haired boy should be arriving any minute now, and Jisung needed to catch his friend at their schedule crossovers before he had to go to class. It didn't even matter if they couldn't talk right at this moment, as long as the blond was able to organise some kind of meet up so they could chat he didn't mind.
The people around started at Jisung weirdly as they swerved past him, wondering faintly why a random small boy with bleached hair was stood straight like a meerkat in the middle of a torrential downpour. As they moved into the building, or buses or headed down the streets, Jisung started to feel panicky. Less and less people were outside now, and the blond couldn't help feel like he'd missed Felix. But he couldn't! Even in rain, the Aussie's strikingly frosted locks stood out like a beacon of light, so Jisung had to have seen him.
Pushing his sopping fringe away from his face, Jisung took another frenzied look around. There was no one in sight, just the shield of water lashing down onto the pavement, overflowing puddles and dragging debris into sewer grates.
"Shit, did I miss him then?" Jisung chewed a little on his lower lip, then turned and dashed back into the building. Much like outside, students found their eyes on the small blond boy as he darted round them, splashing water everywhere while leaving wet and muddy footprints across the tiles.
Finally he reached the dance block, hearing the music from inside the studio blaring across the yard. Not thinking twice, Jisung grabbed ahold of the door and flung it open, stepping into the room.
There were abou 6 kids inside, all in sports gear and all staring at Jisung like he was some alien. Miss. Manoban swung on her heels to look at who'd entered, her eyes reduced to slits as she glared at Jisung. The blond boy was soaked to the skin with rain water, his uniform heavy with it as it hung off his small body. A puddle had collected at his feet, but Jisung wasn't at all concerned about it. He was busy searching for Felix, but none of the students in that room were him. No pearly white hair, no smiling face speckled with freckles, no warm sunny aura radiating off of him, and no Felix.
"Stop staring at nothing, kid," Miss. Manoban snapped as she stalked toward Jisung, "why are you here? Dripping water all over my damn studio!"
"I'm sorry Miss, but is Lee Felix here?"
"He damn isn't, why? Do you
know where he is?"
"No Miss that-"
"Stupid child honestly, he better
not think that he can get away with
skipping just because he is top of the class."
"Miss that's not it at all!" Jisung defended his friend, sure that if he was off it would have nothing to do with dance.
"Why is he then, since you are so sure."
"I don't know, but Miss Felix is very
passionate about his dance! He'd
never skip school to avoid it."
"Well you better damn find why he isn't here!" Miss. Manoban smacked her hand round Jisung's head in a temper, clearly very pissed off by the disappearance of her best (and favourite) student.
"Y-Yes Miss," Jisung bowed quickly, his action only sloshing more water onto the floor. Miss. Manoban wrinkled her nose at the blond before turning back around to her other students, giving Jisung permission to leave.
"Bitch," Jisung whispered to himself as he hurried away and back to the main building. He looked everywhere; bursting into lectures and demonstrations only to be screamed at by the teacher, checking every individual stall in the bathrooms, and even sneaking into teacher's offices just to make sure Felix was hiding in there. But it was no use, the boy wasn't anywhere to be found.
Jisung left the school premises, carrying on down the road towards Felix's house while trying to locate his phone. "Pick up pick up," the blond muttered repeatedly as he called Felix, begging and wishing on anything for his friend to pick up. After the first ring however, the line cut out.
"What?!" Jisung stared at the screen, wondering if it had been a weather interference. It happened the second time he called, and the third, forth, fifth. It was only when the blond called for the sixth time that he realised that a: Felix was declining his calls, and b: he'd been going the wrong way the whole time walking. Frustrated, Jisung kicked up water from a puddle as he headed the other way, bringing the rain into his face and soaking him more than he already was.
Now he was more worried than ever- it wasn't like Felix to decline calls, and it was confirming Jisung's worst belief that the snowy haired boy wasn't ready to talk to him. But it had been three days, and so Jisung felt it was time to make things right.
The wind began to pick up as the blond pushed forward, focusing on getting to Felix's house more than anything else. He still had about 40 minutes before he had to be at Minho's, so there was time.
Soon Jisung found the road, just a little way off from his as always, and ran to the front door while trying not to skid. Felix's car was there so he was sure to be in. The blond rammed his fist on the door, knocking as loudly as he could manage.
"Felix!! Lix it's me, Jisung. Come out please!" There was no answer and no movement from inside the house, but Jisung did notice that the upstairs lights were on.
"Come on Lix please, I wanna talk!" The boy banged on the door again, trying to make himself known without scaring Felix. But there was still no answer.
Jisung started to freak out a little, overwhelmed by the feeling of guilt and distress deep in his stomach. He gave in and started rattling the door handle, letting the idea that Felix was possibly in danger settle over him for no good reason.
"Lix please let me in, please I wanna talk to you and I'm really worried about you, please Felix please please let me in!"
Jisung suddenly fell forward as the door opened, but he managed to stop himself on the door frame. As he raised his head, the blond felt his heart shatter into a million tiny pieces. Felix was stood there, his pale face pearly with newly formed tear stains that shone down his cheeks all the way to his chin. His eyes looked sunken like he hadn't slept in days, and skin around them was a dark musty grey in comparison to the rest of his porcelain face. He looked so much smaller than usual despite his height being above Jisung, his body shrouded in a baggy oversized T-shirt and sweats. Felix looked thinner too, his wrists looked like they could snap off at the slightest touch while the skin around his collarbone had tightened so that the sharp form of the marrow could be seen underneath.
Felix looked as if he was going to burst into tears at any moment, but barely had time process anything when a soggy Jisung lept onto him, drenching him with water.
"No no no," Jisung murmured to himself, crushing Felix in a hug as his took in the younger's state, "Felix I'm sorry, I should have come sooner oh god Felix I'm so sorry."
"Jisung you're soaked, you're gonna get a fever, besides you making me cold!" The snowy haired boy cried out in alarm, attempting to prise the older off of him as he felt the water go to his skin, but Jisung only gripped him harder.
"Shit I'm such a dumbass, I should've followed you and sorted this out sooner and now I've, I've.. oh Felix." Although the blond was dripping with rain water and was shivering with a chill, Felix returned the hug with quivering arms, pressing his cheek against Jisung's damp shoulder.
They stayed there for a short while, Jisung ignoring how his body trembled and only thinking about holding Felix. While the younger did like being hugged by Jisung, he too was beginning to get cold, plus he hadn't washed since Friday. He probably looked a state, but the blond didn't appear to care.
"Ji.. you need to let go of me." Felix whispered warily, voice sounding tired. Jisung hated time let go but he also didn't want to get the younger ill, so he hesitantly loosened his grip. He cupped Felix's cheeks in his palms, studying the boy's ghostly face.
"Jesus Christ what did I do to you.."
"This isn't your fault Ji."
"Yes it is, I'm taking responsibility."
With this statement Jisung let go of Felix's face and took ahold of his hands, leading the younger towards the stairs. "You need to have a shower, I'll make some food and tidy up your bedroom if it needs it."
"But Ji," Felix began to protest, but the older cut him off.
"No buts, go shower." The snowy haired boy did as he was asked, going into the bathroom next to his room and shutting the door. Jisung waited to hear the sound of the shower running before setting to work. He first took off his blazer, since it was the most soaked and he didn't want to get any more water
around the house.
Next the blond checked Felix's room. It was a tip as he'd expected, with stuff littering the floor, clothes in random piles and the bed sheets scattered across the mattress. Focusing on one area at a time, Jisung first gathered up all the clothes off the floor. Most of them seemed dirty so he tossed them into Felix's laundry basket, and then the few that were clean he folded and organised them
in the draws.
Jisung gathered up the remaining items, slotting the back into shelves or arranging them on the desk so that they looked cohesive. After he'd made the bed the blond darted back down stairs to start searching for something for Felix to eat. He whipped up some ramen in no time at all as well as baking a microwave brownie, as he knew the younger had a weakness for his cakes and desserts. Along with this Jisung brewed a hefty pot of herbal tea in hopes to warm up Felix just a little bit, since he had drenched the boy in rain.
Setting all this down upon the coffee table, Jisung whipped round when he heard lights footsteps on the stairs. Felix appeared at the bottom, dressed in a new set of sweatpants and a hoodie. While his face seemed freshened up and had more colour to it, the life that was once in the younger's eyes was definitely faded. Grief shot through Jisung like a bullet, and all he wanted to do was to cry himself hoarse, but he had to stay strong in front of Felix.
The snowy haired boy sat down on the sofa next to Jisung, not meeting his eyes even though the older was gazing at him with awaiting hopefulness. "Thanks Ji," Felix said gratefully but falteringly, reaching for the bowl of noodles. Jisung watched as his friend slurped his food, eating it hastily as if he hadn't tasted a meal in days. The older wanted to hug Felix again so badly, feeling nothing but an overpowering impression of anger and heartbreak at how much he'd seemingly damaged the poor boy, but he was scared of Felix not even wanting to come near him.
"Felix.. can I, I hug you?" Felix glanced up from his food, not having a response prepared. Jisung's eyes were lowered in disappointment, and the younger didn't want his friend to pin the blame for this onto himself.
"Of course Ji." Jisung's orbs brightened as he scooted closer to Felix, wrapping his arms around the snowy haired boy's shoulders and tilting him till his head was back on the older's shoulder. Felix's slightly wet hair smelt like clean strawberries, and the reminder of how happy the younger usually was only made Jisung's heart ache further.
"I'm sorry Lix, I know I've said it already
but I am, I'm so fucking dumb I-"
"Ji stop it, I hate hearing
you put yourself down."
"Sorry.. but I hate seeing
you in this state."
Felix didn't reply, stuck forming a good response. He didn't want to hear Jisung apologises, because I'm truth there was nothing he needed to be sorry for. What Felix really wanted to understand was why.
Leaving the ramen bowl on the table the younger swivelled round in his spot, clinging to Jisung like a precious baby. "Why don't you like me, Ji," Felix asked, voice cracking ever so slightly, "what's wrong with me?"
Jisung sat up with a look of horror on his face, clearly mortified by the words that had just left his friend's lips. "Absolutely nothing is wrong with you, Felix," the older said, raising his voice, "it's got nothing to do with you as a person. I love you as a friend, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'm your friend because I like who you are as a person, so don't you thinking for one damn minute Lee Felix that there is anything remotely wrong
with who you are."
The blond's words stunned Felix, and his eyes expanded in astonishment as he listened to every word his friend had to say. His heart grew to twice the size it had been over the past few days, and suddenly Felix felt tears slipping down his cheeks. They weren't like the tears he'd shed over the weekend, that were laced with questioning and misery, but rather blissful ones, as he was reassured that everything between him and Jisung was maybe going to turn out okay.
"H-Hey Lix don't cry," Jisung stopped his rant and pulled the younger back to him, listening to him sniff as he wiped his crying away.
"So why didn't you return them?" Felix asked, though his voice was a lot less shattered and his face looked curious over anything else. Jisung sighed deeply and contemplated this, though he didn't need to think much. The answer was clear as day, imprinted across the blond's mind.
"It's complicated but, simple answer is that I, I already like, like someone else."
Felix bit his lip, a little hurt that someone else had beaten him to Jisung's heart. However he wouldn't have been able to do anything about it, and the younger knew as a friend he should allow Jisung to be free to like anyone he wants.
"I'm gonna make this better, okay?" Jisung reiterated, looking Felix straight in eyes with such a loving but serious regard for the snowy haired boy, "I'm going to help you heal and get over me, even if it means focusing
on myself less."
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Supp thots, I'm back at it again
My parents are rushing me to go to bed as I'm currently 2 hours ahead of my usual time zone, so I'll check and edit this in the morning since I don't wanna keep my little brother awake.
Also thanks for voting for the new book, and tbh.. wasn't surprised at all that the one that won, won. It was a prediction from the start. So yeah for that I'll be updating it every Tuesday and actually it'll be two chapters at a time, as they're a lot shorter to write.
I'm constantly trying to improve my writing so if you have any tips on where I could change things up, feel free to comment. I want to get into property proof reading my work from now on and making changes to it more often, so when I get more time and don't choose to writing them at like 5 seconds to midnight, I'll work on doing that. This way I'll bring you lot better content that I can be proud of~
See you bitches laterrrr