ONE DAY LATER - Philippa's house
They were sitting in the dining room and waiting while Triss, Yennefer and Vesemir will prepare everything. Jahve was sleeping upstairs and Jaskier was looking after him. Geralt was sitting next to Lambert who was drinking from the bottle of Vodka. Opposite to them were sitting Ciri and Gabriel. Nobody said a single word. It passed just one day from Eskel's death, but everybody was still so heartbroken. Everybody refused to accept this horrible truth.
Ciri raised her eyes on Geralt. No matter how painful it was to go back in this memory, she needed to know the truth.
"Why you didn't tell me what were you planning?" In her voice was pain. "Why you took me out of it?"
Lambert stopped drinking in that moment. Gabriel didn't even blink.
Geralt just gave her a sad look. "My plan was totally different. Everything should have happen differently.. but then Gabriel came to me with this idea." He was honest.
Ciri gave him surprised look, but she didn't take a courage to look at the young witcher who clearly started feeling uneasy next to her.
Geralt continued. "Gabriel knew that if he will bring you there as his captive, he will give me a chance to enter there stealthily. Because then all their attention will be on you and they won't pay any attention for people moving in their fortress."
"So, that's all? Just this reckless plan which could go to waste in any moment?" Ciri said a bit with the frustration.
"No, there is much more.." Geralt admitted.
"Then I'm listening." She said without emotions.
Geralt took a deep breath. "I knew that there was no way we could enter into Rience's fortress as the last time. I was aware that Rience won't make the same mistake and they will be prepared on us. But Gabriel got the ultimatum to kill Eskel and Lambert and this meant they were ready to attack us sooner than we expected. So, we needed to be quicker than them. We needed to confront them as first and we did." Geralt explained.
"But why you didn't tell me all of this this? Why you let me to feel the worst pain in my life by seeing you die in front of me by his hand?!" She was hurt. "You let them to touch me the way as.." she paused.
Geralt started feeling ashamed. He opened his mouth, but Gabriel overtook him. "We needed your pure emotion if we wanted to fool everyone. We knew that Rience may figure it out.."
She interrupted him. "Splendid. So, he could reveal you in any moment and then your amazing plan would go to waste."
"But Rience didn't reveal us." Gabriel made it clear.
"But he could." Ciri stated.
"But he didn't."
She didn't want to give. "But he could."
"I don't wanna argue with you Cirilla." Gabriel raised his voice.
Ciri gave him surprised look.
Gabriel frowned and then started speaking more quietly. "Maybe we couldn't fool Rience, but we needed to fool the guards and especially Bonhart. He would quickly recognized if you were just acting.. we.." He paused and he lowered his eyes. "Unfortunately we needed to kill Geralt, so then he could be alone with Rience and have at least some chance to kill him." He then looked at her sadly. He knew how hurt she was. He saw everything, how she was feeling, how they were touching her body.. and it was killing him that he couldn't do anything about it.
Ciri was trying to hold her tears. She knew why they did everything the way they did, but still their plan hurt her and will hurt her for a long time.
Geralt continued a bit sadly. "Yennefer figured out the spell which she put on Gabriel's fake sword and with the first hit it created a fake blood. Then I pretended death and I waited on the best opportunity to activate Yen's star to gave her a signal, so they could teleport there."
"But still, this whole plan was so reckless Geralt. Just one small mistake and everything could screw up." Ciri told him honestly.
Geralt lowered his head. "I know."
"Then why you needed to risk like that?" She still couldn't understand. "Why you needed to go this far with everything? Rience could kill you immediately, he didn't have to play that game with you. He could smash with one exact spell." She said with irritation. "Did at least Yennefer know about what were you planning?"
Geralt sighed. "Well, she didn't know everything.."
"Because if she would know she would never let you go alone to confront Rience like that.." Ciri shake her head. "Oh God, how could you be so stupid?" She got upset.
Now Gabriel answered without emotions. "There was no other choice. We needed to use this opportunity till it was still possible."
She turned to him. "There is always a choice." She protested.
"Not then Cirilla." the young witcher was serious.
"There is always a choice and you know that better than anyone Gabriel!" She raised her voice. "If you all would chose differently Eskel could be still alive!" She paused because she realized what she said loud. Her painful emotions which she was holding inside her since he died just got out.
In the room was suddenly a huge quiet. Nobody dared to say a word.
Ciri lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry.. I.. I didn't want to.."
Lambert interrupted her and for the first time since this debate started, he spoke. "Don't apologize for being hurt Ciri. For this feeling we should never apologize to anyone. But Eskel's death wasn't anyone fault, only Rience's." He admitted sadly. "Listen to me. You're gonna wanna play every possible scenario in the next couple of days or maybe years. If only you'd been there. If only you would come there on time to save him. If only you would jumped on him sooner.. And I'm telling you it's not your fault. The one to blame is that monster who killed Eskel."
Ciri was trying to hold her tears.
Lambert almost swallowed. "I knew Eskel almost my whole life. He was my best friend and my brother. But what I always knew about him, that he had too much good heart for this world. He cared about goodness for people, but more he cared about this family. Then believe me Ciri when I say, that he wouldn't chose to die differently as he died, because he died for his family."
Ciri sobbed and swiped away the tears from her eyes with her hand. She couldn't hold it anymore.
Lambert continued with softer voice. "Being the witcher is a duty. We somehow try to bring lesser evil into this crazy world and this means we risk our lives every time we raise our swords. We all knew the risk and so did Eskel. He knew what can happen if he will jump into that teleport. He knew there was a small chance he won't return back alive. But he jumped into that teleport anyway. He jumped into that teleport because he wanted to protect this family no matter the cost. As much as it hurt me to say it, I know in my heart that Eskel would do it again. He would choose to die if his death would help to save his family." Lambert told her with tears in his eyes. "I know it and I will never forget on it. That my brother sacrificed his life, so this family could be safe. This is Eskel who we all should remember, as a man, a friend and the witcher with the heart of gold." He swiped away the tears from his eyes. "This is Eskel who I will always remember. Always.." his voice failed.
Geralt put his hand on Lambert's shoulder and squeezed. "We will never forget our brother. I promise."
Lambert nodded sadly.
Ciri was speechless, all she could do in that moment was crying.
Gabriel took her hand under the table and squeezed it.
After a while she caught his hand too.
In that moment in the room entered Vesemir. "Everything is ready. The time has come.." He told them sadly.
They were standing on the meadow near to Oxenfurt. The sun was almost down. The clouds were covering a rays of the sun and it filled sky with beautiful orange colour.
They didn't invite anyone else expect for this family. They wanted to be intimate. They wanted to say goodbye without any people looking over their shoulders. They wanted to be just him and them.
His body was laying on the woods which they put there from the nearest forest. He has dressed his favorite armor and around his neck he had tied his Wolf-medallion. They cleaned his wounds from the blood and fixed his hair. He was looking like he just fell asleep and the sun was shining over his body.
Eskel looked beautiful even at his end and they all wanted to remember him like that.. at least this worked out.
They were staring at him without the words couple of minutes. Nobody wanted to do a last goodbye even though they knew that this was the reason why they all came here.
They all wanted some time with him, even if just a little before they will say goodbye to him forever.
After a while Yennefer cleared her throat. "I think we should say something before we.." she paused. She realized it was too emotional for her to continue.
Geralt then caught her hand. "I'll do it." He took a deep breath and then he started speaking. "I still can't believe you're gone brother. I still can't imagine that I won't be able to hear your laugh or see your smile which filled every room you entered." He looked at the sky. "You left us too soon brother.. You left us all too soon and we weren't ready to let you go.." He looked back at his family which faces were now covering tears.
Geralt continued. "You have no idea how we all miss you. You have no idea what you're putting us through now.. but that shows how much we all loved you and what you meant for us. And we will never stopped loving you. We will never forget on your legacy. You will live in our hearts forever." Geralt swiped away the tears from his eyes. "Today we give tribute to the love and light you brought into our lives. Your memory lives on and we are forever grateful for the time we had with you Eskel." His voice failed. He then looked at Triss. "It's the time." He admitted with the sadness in his eyes.
Triss nodded sadly, then she fire up the torch. She slowly started walking towards him.
She looked at him with love in her eyes for the last time. "Sleep well my love.." Then she fired up the woods.
After a while the witcher's body engulfed the flames.
Triss was staring at his burning body while the tears were falling down her cheeks. Yennefer then came to her and hugged her tightly. She felt her pain and she would do anything in that moment to take it from hers friend. She would do anything to bring Eskel back.. but she knew it wasn't possible.
Everybody was quiet and grieving. Everybody was trying to figure out their own way how to deal with this pain of loss of loved one.
It was clear this gonna take so much time..
It passed not even a fifteen minutes since the fire absorbed everything, but she couldn't stay quiet anymore. She needed to tell them this.
"So, this is how it's gonna end?"
They all turned to her a bit surprised.
"We will all just move on and live like nothing happened?" Ciri said with tears in her eyes." she couldn't hold her emotions anymore. "How can you stay there like that? How can you accept this end for him?!" She started to be frustrated.
Vesemir came closer to her. "Cirilla, I know you're hurt. We all are hurt. Eskel was our family, he was one of us. But you can't blame us for wanting to say goodbye to him or showing less emotions. Everybody is grieving differently, everybody needs different lack of time for it." he told her with caring voice.
She was fighting with her tears. "But he wouldn't wanted to see us like a totally broken souls. He.. he just didn't deserve this.." she swiped away her tears from her eyes because she was barely seeing. "He deserved much more!" She said with frustration and she started crying even more.
They were all speechless.
After a while Vesemir came to her and he spreads his arms around her. "It's okay, child. Let your pain out. Let it out.." he caressed her back.
"Eskel was much more."
They all looked at Triss who was looking at them trough tears.
"You said he deserved much more.. and that's true." Triss admitted sadly. "Oh, God, he deserved the world, the love, everything.. and I miss him every minute since he left to the other world." Then she looked at her through tears. "But the people who we love are much more Ciri. This awesome family which we all created together is much more what we and Eskel could ever ask for. Not any castles or money, but this family. This Wolfie family which bounded many fates together. This is much more and this is enough for life." She smiled through tears. "And Eskel knew it. He knew what he had even if not for so long as he wished. But he had much more and at the end he became it." she smiled again, then she started crying completely. She couldn't hold it anymore.
Ciri didn't wait any longer and almost ran towards her to hug her. Triss immediately hugged her tightly. Then did the same Yennefer and Geralt with Jahve in his arms. After a while spread his arms around them Lambert and Vesemir. Jaskier who was already sobbing loudly almost jumped on them.
Only one witcher had left, the young witcher who was still hesitating. He looked at them longingly. He was always looking for much more, but he couldn't figure it out what it was. Now he was staring at them how they were all hugging. Nothing else mattered for this people, just their own family. They didn't need anything else just themselves.
Then he knew. He understood what it means with this family.
This family was the much more.
"So, that means we will drunk ourselves after this goodbye?" Jaskier asked them through tears while they were all hugging.
"Jaskier." They all said at the same time with warning in their voices.
"Fine.. I was just asking." The bard said a bit with disappointment.
They were all standing there in the hug without a word for a while when Yennefer interrupted the quiet.
"I will allow it only this evening, and we will do it for Eskel. I command you all to drunk yourself as hell. We will drink on his tribute."
They all pulled away from each other and nodded with caring smiles on their faces.
Jaskier was so emotional from it that he in that moment hugged Yennefer. "Thank you!"
"Only this time bard." She told him strictly, but her eyes were warm while she was looking at him.
Geralt laughed a bit, then he thoughtfully looked at the sky.
"He is on the good place now." Gabriel said honestly when he appeared next to him.
"I know." Geralt admitted sadly.
"And I'm sure he will look after us from there." Ciri added while she was swiping away her tears. Gabriel smiled at her and she smiled at him back. They both remembered on the moment between them when they were talking about it.
Geralt felt how his wife took his hand into hers and squeezed it. He kissed her forehead from the side. Then he looked at the sky again. This time his mouth shivered in small smile. "Goodbye brother."
Ciri noticed Gabriel started walking away from them. She went after him.
She appeared next to him. "Where are you going? You won't stay with us?"
He turned to her. "No, I won't." he answered her calmly.
She got confused. "But why?"
"I think this is the end."
She didn't understand even though she was precisely realizing what was happening. "The end?"
"I'm leaving."
She looked at him with disappointment. "Without saying a single word?" She wasn't even surprised.
He lowered his eyes. "I'm not good in saying goodbye.."
"And who is? But I guess it's better just disappear.. Right?" She smirked.
He looked at her. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." He sighed. "Look, them, that feeling of home, safety, unbreakable love and bind.. that's your life, not mine. I'm not ready for this. I belong somewhere else. My life is out there.." He was honest. "That's why I'm leaving. I want to travel the Continent." He paused. "Unless you want to come with me.."
Her face changed. "I can't go with you."
He nodded. "I understand. You're going with him."
She gave him sad look. It was so hard to tell him this. "Not just him, I have a family here and.." She was searching for words.
He smiled a bit. "No, it's okay, you gotta to make a choice and I've got to hear a goodbye."
She was trying to hold her tears. "I love him Gabriel.. He came into my life at time when I needed someone and I fell for him instantly.. No matter what I feel for you.. I never unfallen for him." she was trying to make him understand.
He was staring at her couple of seconds without a word. Then he softly put hers hair behind her ear. "You're a wonder for me Cirilla."
"Why?" she didn't know what else to say.
"I don't know. I've never met someone like you."
"And I've never met someone like you."
"What we're gonna do about it?"
She smiled and caressed his face with her hand. "Nothing. We can't do nothing about it." she paused. "Maybe if you and I had met first.." she admitted.
"Yeah, maybe.. and would it made a difference?" He smiled at her.
She was silent.
His eyes flashed. "Well, I guess it wouldn't. But I must admit I'm still dying to go for a walk with you and debrief each other."
"Why Gabriel? So, I can be another one of your conquests?" She told him with a teasing tone.
He laughed a bit. "Or I could be one of yours."
She was silent longer than the witcher expected.
"It was nice to meet you Gabriel." She was honest. She couldn't believe that she really managed to say this loud to him..
The small light from his eyes disappeared. "It's too bad. We would have been great.."
Ciri leaned her face towards his and whispered. "You have no idea.." She then found his eyes for the last time, then she turned around and started leaving from him.
Gabriel was just staring at her back with the small smirk on his face, which then became smile. Then he turned around and started walking away.
To follow his own destiny.
Geralt found her sitting alone on the meadow and looking at the sky. He sat down next to her.
They were sitting next to each other silent for couple of minutes.
Then Ciri broke the quiet.
"Why is it? Why the bad people lives so long and the good ones must go from this world so soon? I don't understand it.. why would the universe or Gods tolerate this unfairness?" she was thinking about Eskel.
"If I would know the answer I would tell you Ciri, but some things I guess we will never understand even if we want to so much." Geralt was honest. "But that's life." He added a bit sadly.
"Life is not fair.." She said thoughtfully.
He sighed. "No, it's not." He looked at her. "Gabriel?"
"He left." She answered a bit with sadness. She really gonna miss that crazy witcher.
Geralt stayed silent for a while, then he just ask her. "Where?"
She turned to him. "To find his own much more."
"Come here." He hugged her from the side. "Some things are not meant to be."
She knew her father meant her and him.
"Well, really are not." Ciri answered honestly. Then the tear rolled down her cheek. "But I think that's okay." Her mouth shivered into small smile.
Geralt smiled and then kissed her forehead.
THE END
AN:
So, after almost four years of writing this story, it finally comes to the end. Four years is a long time, many things has changed, I've changed and so did also my writing. To be honest there was a time I thought I will never finish this story or I didn't know how to continue anymore, but I'm glad I didn't give up and somehow managed to finish it. I certainly know that if I would start writing this story now, I think it would be a completely different. But unfortunately I don't have time to rewrite what I don't like, so not perfect things have stay as they are. But no matter that not every chapter what I have written is good, no matter that I don't like some things how I wrote them, I do not regret so many hours of writing it.
This story was my escape. It helped me through different periods of my life. It was some kind of healing for my broken heart. I do think that every chapter was also trying to solve my own issues or help me to find the answers for the things I was facing.
I know my writing is not perfect and I think it never will be, but I was never writing this story to please everyone. I was doing it because I like it and if I've made someone happy while reading it, it's more than I could wish for.
So, if you came to this point, I must thank you for reading my whole story and also for being patient.
Thank you again my readers. I hope you all getting well. And I want to say to you that never stop reading or should I say dreaming? I think we bookworms need both, don't we?