Chapter 10: CH 10

An explanation of the title: think of ‘Bing’ as a pancake, if that’s what you’re familiar with. Can be thin like crepes and can be thiccccccccc and can be with stuffings and can be plain or sweet or savoury etc etc. Super versatile. Sesame is a very common stuffing, like red bean. Usually in paste form. IZ DELICIOUS. 饼 is the character - go ahead and google image it :)

I’ve taken a lot of liberties in the translation of this one I’m afraid. Accuracy has been sacrificed for meaning and flow to some extent, but I believe I’ve done good.

• • •

Xie Jianwei felt that something was off, having said the words, but he hadn’t thought that the consequences would come so quickly.

By the time he opened his eyes again, he had already been bounced out.

Xie Jianwei: “…”

Yan Ke cried out in alarm: “My Lord, you said what shouldn’t be said again!”

Xie Jianwei hadn’t recovered from it yet, and his gaze towards Yan Ke was considerably unhappy: “And how would you know what I said?”

“I don’t, of course I don’t know!” Yan Ke first expressed his stance, and only then explained: “I only had the best interests of Lord Supreme Commander at heart, and so set it so that as soon as you confessed, you would wake from the dream.”

Xie Jianwei understood: “And so speaking, it wasn’t Lu Li who kicked me out, but you who called me out?”

Yan Ke said: “Of course, I was just trying to promptly cut our losses!”

Xie Jianwei: “…” He really wanted to beat the person up.

Yan Ke caught on: “That…the exit’s timing wasn’t quite right?”

Xie Jianwei didn’t want to talk to him.

Yan Ke jeeringly laughed: “Cough cough…I only had good intentions though, I was mostly afraid that Lord Supreme Commander’s illness would worsen…”

Xie Jianwei looked at him: “Why didn’t you tell me this rule beforehand.”

Under his gaze, Yan Ke panicked, hurriedly saying: “I only just thought of it too, it counts as an insurance plan of sorts - because it wasn’t convenient to wake you up, I could only act first and report later.”

Because the two were really familiar, Xie Jianwei didn’t fuss with him, changing the topic and asking: “Now that I’ve come out, what will happen inside the dream?” He had woken up from the dream before, but those times he had been avoiding Lu Li, and yet this time they had indeed been together.

Yan Ke said: “If the duration is short then there won’t be any effect; if it’s too long, then Lord Supreme Commander will probably fill the segment himself.”

Xie Jianwei didn’t delay any more: “I’m going back.”

Yan Ke exhorted him: “You absolutely cannot confess again, if he by chance splits again…”

Xie Jianwei nodded solemnly: “En.”

Reality and the dreamscape were but a trance.

Xie Jianwei was still on Lu Li’s body, but apparently, the three words he said just then wouldn’t just disappear because he went out and then came back.

Lu Li heard them!

Xie Jianwei carefully observed him, and could only harden his heard and add two words: “Little Li (softly).” (T/N: the Li was in English) Xie Jianwei actually should have just called out “Little Li” (the other dude’s ‘Li’ character 立, with different intonations from Lu Li’s), but he was truly nauseous of Xu Li, and so made use of the coincidence, and called out the ambiguous name.

(T/N: brackets are notes lol)

Either way, in Lu ‘Big’ Li’s brain, even if it wasn’t ‘Xiao (little) Li (小离 - LL’s one)’, even if it was Xiao Li (小李) Xiao Li (小鲤) or Xiao Li (小梨 - all random characters that are read as ‘Li’, with or without different intonations) they would all be perceived as Xiao Li (小立 - Xu Li’s version).

Sure enough, the man who had just then still been in a daze, disbelief all over his face, thinking that he had hallucinated what he heard, instantly grew dark-faced.

He didn’t speak either, only fucking him harder, hating that he couldn’t tear apart this small stall.

Xie Jianwei felt very sorry for him, Lu Li had probably been driven mad with anger in hearing ‘Little Li’ (in English again), but was still unwilling to do anything too drastic.

It was only making love a little more intensely - Xie Jianwei felt so good that his head spun.

The two naturally had no way of going to dine again, having put themselves in such a state - Lu Li embraced the fainted Xie Jianwei, complicated emotions filling his heart.

He wanted to throw away this person, wanted to maltreat, to tyrannise him, wanted to make him have a taste of the acrid feeling at the tip of his heart, but he also couldn’t bear to.

Even if he was thinking of other people whilst underneath him, even if he used him as a substitute, even if he would throw him away anywhere and anytime - he couldn’t even bear to see him cry.

Should Xie Jianwei drop a single tear, his blood would feel as if it had been filled with lead, heavy to the point where he couldn’t step away.

What to do?

He hugged him so tightly, and yet he still couldn’t have him.

What should he do?

Lu Li took Xie Jianwei to a hotel, and after helping him clean, he planned to leave.

Coincidentally, just as he was about to leave, Xie Jianwei woke up.

“Little…” His husky voice, was just about to call out that name, when Lu Li dipped his head and kissed him, making the word disappear between lips and teeth.

Xie Jianwei softly ‘hnn’ed, circling his neck.

But Lu Li shoved him away.

Xie Jianwei was stunned for a moment, and at long last came back to his senses.

Lu Li didn’t look at him: “I’m going.”

Xie Jianwei reached out and pulled on his clothes.

Lu Li twisted his brows at the sight, asking: ‘What, haven’t had enough?”

Xie Jianwei: “…” Couldn’t they just talk! But then again, thinking of Lu Li’s pitiable little heard, he instantly grew soft-hearted, and in a small voice said, “Can you stay?”

Lu Li finally moved his gaze towards him: “Stay for what?”

Xie Jianwei really didn’t want him to go, and frankly said willfully: “…Keep me company.”

These words were slightly crossing the boundary, but Xie Jianwei was confident, in full belief that his family’s pervert could definitely overthink it all the way to the fairy galaxy.

As expected, Lu Li self mockingly raised the corner o his lips, straightforwardly asking: “You want Xu Li to keep you company even more, right?”

Xie Jianwei: “…”

His silence equalled affirmation; Lu Li felt that his words really were inviting misery upon himself.

Lu Li was getting up again - still not giving up, Xie Jianwei tugged on his clothes.

Lu Li was straight-faced, revealing no expression as he said: “You’re not hungry?”

Xie Jianwei blinked.

Lu Li didn’t want to look at him, only getting up and saying: “Wait here, I’ll go get you some food.”

Xie Jianwei got it; he lied in the soft bed, watching the back of the leaving man, and the corners of his lips couldn’t help but raise.

How was he so cute, his Lu Li.

Even if he was scum to that sort of level, still, he took him back to a hotel, was worried that he would be uncomfortable, and so patiently helped him clean up; was worried again that he would be hungry, and so endured his anger to find him food.

Sweetness filed the cavity of Xie Jianwei’s chest, but as his thoughts turned, it became a dense, piercing, pain.

If it was in reality, and he did this sort of thing to Lu Li, would Lu Li still be like this?

Allowing himself to be corroded by the poison of his heart, and yet endlessly forgiving of him.

Xie Jianwei had never questioned Lu Li’s feelings towards himself, but truthfully, he hadn’t thought that they would be so deep.

—-deep to the extent of making a proud man place down his dignity.

But in reality, he would never betray Lu Li, would never let down a person who treated him so extremely well.

It wasn’t long before Lu Li pushed the food cart in himself.

He didn’t let a service personnel follow, mostly because he didn’t want to let Xie Jianwei risk exposure.

After all, President Xie’s name was very famous; these hotels, at the peak of the hospitality industry, would have long familiarised themselves with the visages of a few special groups of people.

All they needed was a glance, and they would be able to recognise Xie Jianwei - in matters concerning Xie Jianwei’s reputation, Lu Li would tend to them personally.

The two basically hadn’t had lunch, and then afterwards they had then exerted themselves in a place as special as that - to say they weren’t hungry would be lying.

Xie Jianwei smelled the fragrance of the prawn and crab congee [2], and felt his stomach growl in hunger even more.

Lu Li threw him a pair of pyjamas: “Get up.”

Xie Jianwei didn’t really want to leave the soft bed; his legs hurt; he had been propped up on Lu Li’s waist for the entire time before - even the roots of his thighs were sore.

But dining in bed was too unmannered - Military Strategist Xie could never do such a thing.

And so he forcibly endured and got off of the bed - after putting on the pyjamas, he landed on the ground with bare feet.

Turned out that he had still overestimated himself - after walking a few steps, his legs were quivering nonstop, and he was just about to fall…

Lu Li agilely reached out and supported him, and as a result, because his pyjamas were too loose, with this movement, a big half of his chest was revealed.

A field of sensual marks, like cherry blossom petals, dotted the porcelain skin, so eye-catching that they made one’s throat itch.

Lu Li stared unblinkingly, completely unable to tear his gaze away.

Xie Jianwei felt the ‘Big Li’ behind him, and thinking that he really couldn’t take anymore, hurriedly pulled his clothes back together.

Lu Li moved his gaze away, and coldly spoke: “Eat.”

Xie Jianwei said after some thought: “I’m really very tired.” He explained that his actions just then weren’t because he refused deliberately, but because he truly couldn’t take anymore.

Lu Li side-eyed him, lightly laughing: “If you weren’t tired, then would you agree…”

He hadn’t finished speaking, before frowning and stopping.

Xie Jianwei tested the meaning behind this half sentence, momentarily silent.

Lu Li was obviously somewhat irritated, and after setting him down at the table he wordlessly sat opposite of him.

The dishes on the table were all dishes that Xie Jiawnei liked; prawn and crab congee, crystal buns, and a few small appetiser dishes - appearing plain but greatly burgeoning one’s appetite. [1]

Xie Jianwei ate quite happily, but Lu Li didn’t even touch a chopstick.

After seeing that Xie Jianwei had finished eating, Lu Li finally spoke: “Why like Xu Li?”

Xie Jianwei wanted to say: like him my ass.

What a pity that he had to pretend to like him.

Xie Jianwei spoke after a moment: “I can’t remember clearly anymore.”

These words didn’t exactly lay it all out there, but even so he still completely admitted to it, and the implications were deep.

There were two possibilities when it came to liking a person - one type was when there was a reason, and one type was when there was no reason.

Feelings with reasons were like a big tree that had taken root - although it would be an arduous task pulling it out, and it would also pull up dirt and mud along with it, in the end, uprooting it was still possible.

But feelings without reasons were different - they were like rainwater drifting down from the horizon, appearing illusory and insignificant, but in the moment that it landed on the ground it would have forever been absorbed within, and completely separating them would be unthinkable.

Xie Jianwei’s feelings for Xue Li were without reason.

Lu Li’s feelings for Xie Jianwei were also without reason.

So this was a problem without a solution.

Lu Li was also unsure as to why he had asked these questions because even if he asked, he still wouldn’t five up, and the answer was something he knew already long ago - but still he stubbornly asked, probably because he had still embraced a sliver of self-deceptive hope, wanting to hear him say a different answer.

A pity then, that it wasn’t different.

Lu Li asked: “Since you like Xu Li, then why did you reject him?”

Xie Jianwei paused for a moment, then said: “We are no longer compatible.”

Lu Li: “Why?”

Xie Jianwei said: “I am not the ‘Xie Jianwei’ from three years ago.”

Lu Li wasn’t able to hear the insinuation behind his words of course, thinking only in another direction.

Xie Jianwei didn’t really want to continue the topic; he raised his head looking in Lu Li’s direction, soft speaking: “Lu Li…”

Yet Lu Li opened his mouth before him and spoke: “We shouldn’t see each other anymore, hereafter.”

Xie Jianwei’s eyes violently widened.

Lu Li used the heated towel to wipe his hands, slowly saying: “I don’t mind being a bed partner, but I’m not interested in being anybody’s substitute.”

Xie Jianwei was speechless.

Lu Li didn’t want to say anymore either; he got up, saying: “Take care.”

Was this him wanting to ‘meet and part without hard feelings’? [2]

“Lu Li!” Xie Jianwei called out to stop him, a little shaken as he immediately opened his mouth: “I know that saying this is very irresponsible of me, but…”

Lu Li didn’t leave in the end, only expressionlessly watching him.

Xie Jianwei raised his head, looking him in the eye: “Can we try?”

Lu Li’s pupils shrunk violently: “What did you say?”

Xie Jianwei didn’t know whether his words would make his illness worsen, but he also wouldn’t be able to find the unresolved worries by simply going along with Lu Li the entire time, so he had to try something else.

“I said…could we try being in a relationship and just see?” Xie Jianwei worked hard to make these words sound less urgent and truthful, he tried his best to imitate the tone and thoughts processes of the scummy character, “Not as a bed partner, not as a substitute, but as lovers.”

Lu Li’s chest visibly rose and fell once, his black eyes a mass of deep melancholy, and his voice heavy and rasping: “Do you know what you’re saying?”

• • •

• • •

The author is saying that her readers have given Lu Li an affectionate pet name lol

[1] Crab and prawn congee is 虾蟹粥 in Chinese if y’all wanna google image it. Also, crystal buns: 水晶包 I googled it and apparently the technical term is ‘leaf-lard bun’ (wtf??) which does not sound good at all! So I took some liberties with translating this (and the rest of the chapter lol). Copy and paste the Chinese words onto google images for what they look like <3 they’re really yummy.

[2] 好聚好散 - good meeting and good parting. Implies that he’s going to part without hard feelings, but also implies that their relationship was a little trivial. Does not mean that Lu Li wanted to have a peaceful parting lol. Correct me if I’m wrong tho please.