Chapter 39: CH 32.2

(t/n: Yep.Still on flashback)

Turning an ordinary bloodkin into a pureblood was a matter of going against nature. Even if Lu Li was a God-like existence, he’s still not a God, and now he did something what a deity cannot.

So he was punished.

The Blood King’s own body stability was broken— his body needed blood. (t/n: remember, it was mentioned that no one had seen the Blood King drink others’ blood until Xie Jianwei came. It seemed like he doesn’t necessarily needed blood and can survive on his own.)

This didn’t seem to be a problem. After all, Xie Jianwei was there. They incorporated cold blood to their meals in addition to exchanging hot blood in order to achieve a proper balance.

But unfortunately… the strength required by the Blood King’s body was too great, and no amount of cold blood could make up for it. Xie Jianwei’s blood couldn’t satisfy Lu Li itself, and not to mention that he had to feed Xie Jianwei too.

Xie Jianwei lived well, but Lu Li gradually became weak.

At this rate, Blood King Lu Li would eventually die. Lorren witnessed all of that with an anxious heart, but what could he do? He had no right to interfere with His Majesty’s decision, and he couldn’t even tell Xie Jianwei the truth.

But then, a vampire hunter suddenly broke this peaceful yet fragile illusion. The hunter was indeed exceptionally strong, a rarity amongst humans but he would never be able to defeat Lorren, let alone the Blood King.

But he did.

With his great hatred, the vampire hunter exhausted all his strength to take down the Bloodclan Leader. When Xie Jianwei and Lorren arrived, the Blood King had already entered his slumber.

Xie Jianwei found it unbelievable: “How is this possible? How did His Majesty become so weak like this?”

Lorren could only sigh as he explained the truth helplessly, and Xie Jianwei realized the price for his so many years of living a happy life.

Then memory came to an abrupt end.

(t/n: flashback ends here. We’re back to the present.)

Yan Ke snorted: “That was really …” ..a heart-wrenching stew of a cruel dogblood story that makes people cry. (t/n: I just fckng laughed my lungs out I’m sorry. I imagined it in Yan Ke’s view and it’s like watching a kdrama, but the thing is all of these are the fruit of your boss’s rich imagination and fondness in dogblood melodramatic stories. I kennat lmfao Yan Ke’s so shooktd by the Marshal’s big brain omg)

Xie Jianwei: “You should say something good.”

Yan Ke: “I can’t help but be moved and be touched by the unparalleled love of the Lord Marshal!”(t/n: my stomaaach huuurts hahahahaha)

Xie Jianwei: “…”

Why does this Heart of Ice Silk held these memories? Wasn’t it an accident that it broke like this? It’s important for XIe Jianwei to see it in order to know what really happened in the past, but the thing is, Lu Li also saw it.

And another problem is that Lu Li is more careful, serious and attentive to details than Xie Jianwei.

What would he think next?

Obviously, he would assume that he’s only being used as a substitute.

Xie Jianwei was bound to be separated from the Blood King Lu Li because of their difference in power. So in order to let the Blood King Lu Li live and make him forget his feelings for Xie Jianwei, the latter tried to “shift his affections to somebody else”.

But  still,  Xie Jianwei couldn’t accept other people. So during the hundred years of the Bloodclan Leader’s slumber, Xie Jianwei refused to exchange blood with anyone because he really couldn’t break past his own psychological defense line. It was enough proof of how deep his feelings are for Blood King Lu Li.

Unexpectedly, he met Lu Li. A person who looks exactly the same as the Blood King–  they even have a similar name.

He then “fell in love” without hesitation.

Lu Li stood froze at the entrance of the hall. And just when Xie Jianwei was about to say something, he turned his back and left. Xie Jianwei immediately wanted to chase him, but Blood King Luli grabbed his hand.

Xie Jianwei: “…”

“I’m sorry.” Blood King Lu Li said with a hoarse voice.

Xie Jianwei didn’t know what to say…

Blood King Lu Li has released his hand and whispered: “Go and explain to him, he’ll understand.”

Xie Jianwei took a deep breath and said, “Your Majesty, we can’t go back to how we were in the past anymore.” Xie Jianwei knew that he was being cruel, but he had to end it now.

Blood King Lu Li’s eyes flashed, and his voice trembled ever so softly: “I know.”

********

Xie Jianwei found Lu Li in his residence.

The sky was bright, but it was dark inside. If not for his familiarity with this place, Xie Jianwei might not have been able to walk within the house. His footsteps sounded on the smooth floor tiles, echoing throughout entire room.

“I already knew.” He heard Lu Li’s sullen voice.

Xie Jianwei paused.

The man who was standing at the far corner said: “I know that I was just his substitute for a long time now. I am aware that I looked like him…. And I know that you were looking at him through me.”

“But it doesn’t matter. If we weren’t similar in appearance, you wouldn’t have gotten close to me and I wouldn’t be able to have you, so…. I don’t mind.”

“Ah-Li … “ Xie Jianwei felt like his throat had dried up.

Because it was dark and XIe Jianwei could barely see anything, it seemed like Lu Li’s voice came from a very distant place as he continued:

“I know that many of the things you do are not because of me– that you are expecting another person. I know that I am being treated like some temporary solace, but I am willing. I even felt that if that person managed to wake up and you don’t want me anymore, it doesn’t matter. Because I know what kind of existence I am from since the beginning.”

Xie Jianwei felt his heart aching as he whispered: “No …”

But before he was able to finish his words, Lu Li suddenly raised his voice and interrupted him: “But why did you give me hope!”

“That Silk Sunflower… Why did you use it to lift my curse? Why did you gave up the opportunity to awaken him just to give me a new life?”

Xie Jianwei couldn’t say anything.

Lu Li’s voice was hoarse as he continued: “You don’t know how happy I was at that time. You don’t know how the joy I felt when I thought that you chose me. You couldn’t imagine how elated I was when I thought I had a chance to obtain heart! I didn’t dare expect, I never dared! But you gave me a chance! You let me think that I could really replace him!”

“But the truth is, you do not need to wake him up because you can’t be with him, and you know that he will eventually wake up.”

“ You need me and you can’t let me die, because I have to continue to help you in order to stimulate you destined to wake up.”

“Xie Jianwei … “Lu Li asked Xie Jianwei painfully, “…what the hell am I to you?” (t/n: My eyes are sweating…T.T)

I love you. But Xie Jianwei didn’t dare to say it, because if Lu Li wouldn’t believe those words, he was afraid that things could get worse.

What should I do? How can I appease him? How can I convince him that I truly love him?

Xie Jianwei couldn’t find an answer, and Lu Li said something that made him even more distressed.

“No need to answer me.” Lu Li approached him slowly and said softly, “Am I still useful? You can’t be with him anymore. You have to let him forget you so he can live, and you need me to for that….  So … you’d still be with me, right?”

“Yes.” Xie Jianwei closed his eyes as he held back the tears welling up in his eyes.

Lu Li smiled in the dark and he hugged Xie Jianwei. His movements were very light, and his voice was very gentle: “That’s enough for me, I don’t care about the rest. It doesn’t matter if you can’t forget him– that you still love him. You can think of me as him, since we have the same name … Ah- Wei, I won’t ask where your heart is anymore, as long as you don’t leave me.” (t/n: I’m crying? no,u)

Xie Jianwei took a deep breath and said two words which was like a death sentence: “I’m sorry.”

Lu Li’s body suddenly stiffened, but soon, he relaxed and continued: “Don’t apologize, I know you are also uncomfortable. I know it’s painful not to be with the person I love, but it couldn’t compare to his life. It’s more important to live, right?”

Xie Jianwei followed his thoughts and nodded: “Yes, it’s most important to live.”

“Good.” Lu Li hugged him warmly, “As long as I have you …” …I can live.

Yan Ke who had been crying the entire time: “My Lord, woo woo!”

Xie Jianwei was also abused to his liver and was in utterly speechless for a long time.

Yan Ke continued to cry, “How can we treat him? Lord Marshal never believed you like him, this … this explanation is useless.”

If Lu Li flew into a rage the moment he knew he was just a substitute, some things might get torn apart, but it would be easier to talk about. Then, they can wait for time to slowly heal it…

But now, Lu Li said that he had known it for a long time, but he doesn’t care. He was particularly stubborn in showing he is all right, and he is useful. He gave up the hope of Xie Jianwei falling in love with him someday.

This is a complete death, because he’s too desperate and he directly refused any further expectations.

How to untie such a knot? Yan Ke couldn’t figure it out.

Xie Jianwei stabilized his emotions and said, “It’s not that simple.”

""

Yan Ke asked anxiously, “What do you mean?”

Although he suffered an immense emotional impact from what just happened, Xie Jianwei still keenly captured the key points during the whole ordeal. He suppressed the tingling in his heart, and tried to sort out each thread: “First of all, when I was still a human, there was a person whom I loved so much. Who is this person?” (t/n: I honestly didn’t gave it much thought. I thought he was just another fodder just for Lu li’s story ahahaha)

“It doesn’t matter … after all, that person betrayed you!” Yan Ke answered.

“Do you think that in Lu Li’s dream, he will let me be with other people?”

“Eh …” Yan Ke paused, but soon he said again, “But Lord Marshal absolutely woudn’t betray you.”

Xie Jian said in a deep voice: “What if it was a misunderstanding?”

Yan Ke: “…”

“ Lu Li won’t betray me, but what if it was another personality who created such misunderstanding?”

“That is ……” Yan Ke thought accordingly, “…very likely” After all, the Marshals dotes and loves Military Adviser Xie  to no end, but he shows no mercy to his oen self.

Xie Jianwei said: “If we assume that the person I loved when I was a human is also Lu Li, where did this personality go?”

Yan Ke’s head became muddled: “There are three personalities?” (t/n: The more the merrier)

Xie Jianwei shook his head and said: “If it’s a third personality, he should have appeared long ago– he definitely wouldn’t exist only in memory.” After all, theoretically, Xie Jianwei did not enter a dream. This dream does not exist. It is because of his entry that these are formed. The so-called ‘memories’ are ‘generated’ –if they are irrelevant, there is no need for them to exist.

""

Therefore, if there were three personalities in this dream, he should have appeared long ago, it wouldn’t take it this long.

Yan Ke felt that his head was going to explode from too much thinking: “What the hell is going on?”

Xie Jianwei said: “Perhaps Lu Li is the personality I loved when I was still a human.”

Yan Ke struggled to keep up with his brain circuit: “You mean it was the Marshal whom you transformed into vampire who first met you?” He finally figured it out and applauded. “So that’s how it is! Just let him know that he met and loved you first, not the Blood King Marshal. If you do that he’ll surely believe your feelings for him!”

But Xie Jianwei poured cold water on Yan Ke’s enthusiasm: “Oh, it’s not that simple. If you really take this matter seriously and thought about it, it’s possible that Lu Li won’t hesitate to kill the Blood King Lu Li.”

There was some truth to this thinking about how miserable Lu Li is now. In order to stay by Xie Jianwei’s side, he humbled himself and accepted his status as a ‘substitute’. If he suddenly became aware of the “truth”, that he and Xie Jianwei were truly in love with each other but somebody broke them apart, won’t he become crazy?

He could bear it now because he thinks that he is the third party. But once he finds out that the third party is the Blood King Lu Li– that he’s the one who destroyed his and XIe Jianwei’s relationship– there is no doubt that he will explode within minutes.

Yan Ke: “…” His brain truly isn’t capable of thinking so many of such things.

Xie Jianwei thought about it a bit more and added: “There’s still that vampire hunter. Was it really just a simple NPC?” Would a human who can face the Blood King Lu Li head-on, be an ordinary human?

Even if the Bloodclan Leader was in a very poor state at the time, he was still one of Lu Li’s personalities. In such a dream, except for the dream master, who can let him suffer such a grave injury?

Xie Jianwei suddenly thought of something: “Oh, no!”

Yan Ke was still confused: “What’s wrong?”

“The Blood King Lu Li will really die!” Xie Jianwei replied.

If that vampire hunter was the reincarnation of human Lu Li– the lover who ‘betrayed’ Xie Jianwei before he became a vampire– then he is one of Lu Li’s personality, and even the dream master! What’s more terrifying was that he came back a hundred years ago in order to get his revenge and unleash his hatred, and actually wounded Blood King Lu Li in the end!

Although the current Blood King Lu Li wasn’t dead yet, he certainly wouldn’t consume blood other than Xie Jianwei’s. If he continued like that, he would certainly die. If that happens, would that personality disappear? After all, he didn’t die naturally– he was indirectly killed by the other personality!

Xie Jianwei dare not take the risk. His priority now was not to appease the Lu Li, but to not let the Blood King Lu Li die. And the most direct way to keep him alive was to give him blood!

Xie Jianwei calmed himself down and waited for Lu Li to fall asleep. He then e got up quietly and walked out of the house.

What he didn’t know was that the moment he left, Lu Li, who was asleep, suddenly opened his eyes. His dark eyes looked at the dark room, as if his soul had been swallowed by the darkness.

********

Xie Jianwei went to the palace, and came to the bedroom of the Blood King without a hitch. Just as he thought, the sleeping Blood King Lu Li was very weak. He reached out to touch him, and he felt the biting cold.

Under the moonlight, Xie Jianwei even saw the visible knife marks on Blood King Lu Li’s arm. Each wound hadn’t healed properly because it kept getting cut open.

Xie Jianwei thought of the cold blood he had been drinking these days. In fact, he should have known from the very start. Who would have such hiqh quality cold blood, except for the Bloodclan Leader?

He was obviously dying himself, but he was afraid of making Xie Jianwei hungry.

What the hell is he thinking about?

Xie Jian sighed lightly and leaned over to kiss him.

He used some medicine so that Blood King Lu Li wouldn’t be able to distinguish his dreams from reality, because if his consciousness was clear, he would most likely push him away.

Xie Jianwei took off his clothes, sat on top him and whispered his name softly. He tempted him with sensual gestures. After Xie Jianwei vented, Blood King Lu Li pierced his neck and tasted the sweet, hot, intoxicating yet deeply unsettling blood.

“Bang” the hall door suddenly opened. (t/n: Hory shet dayum)

The man, bathe in moonlight, stood by the door was like an ice sculpture. His facial features were indistinguishable, and his black eyes are full of emptiness and stillness.

“So I’m not enough?” Lu Li’s cold voice sounded. “Sure enough … a counterfeit product can’t surpass the authentic, right?”