Chapter 40: CH 33.1

With such a scene, even jumping into the Yellow River can’t get you clean¹.

Xie Jianwei left Lu Li in the middle of the night, came to the palace, seduced the blood king, and exchanged blood with him.

It’s all true–  no further expalanation needed.

On the other hand, Blood King Lu Li, who suddenly tasted such delicacy after starving for a long time, surely wouldn’t let go of his long-awaited feast. The two maintained their intimate posture, and Xie Jianwei could only look sideways and stare at Lu Li who was standing by the door.

Lu Li watched the scene as despair, unwillingness, and a sense of powerlessness rushed over his mind a tide. His senses went numb and his insides felt like its being swallowed by fire.

But what can he do? He could only remain helpless.

They were supposed to only love each other and be together. He kept deceiving his self that all of what the blood king and Xie Jianwei had were only delusions but now— now he was seeing the cold and hard truth.

Lu Li knew that he wasn’t even qualified to get angry.

Why?

Because he doesn’t have any position in his heart at all.

Xie Jianwei slowly closed his eyes as Lu Li turned to his back and walked away.

After sometime, Blood King Lu Li finally became satisfied. The two were still clinging to each other, intimate even —but both of them were feeling an extreme sadness.

“Why?” The Blood King asked with a hoarse voice.

Xie Jianwei leaned back in his arms and also asked: “I could ask you the same. Why?”

Two similar questions, but they are talking about two completely different things.

Blood King Luli was asking Xie Jianwei: “Why did you exchanged blood with me?”

While for Xie Jianwei:  “You dying. Why aren’t you drinking other people’s blood to survive? Why is this even necessary?”

Xie Jianwei’s “why” was like a knife— an extremely sharp knife that could stab a heart to its death. He was asking this question to indirectly tell the Blood King Lu Li: “I only did this to save you. If it weren;t you being so willful, why should I need to do this?”

Blood King Lu Li remained silent for a long time before he slowly said: “You really like him.”

Yes.

Xie Jianwei suddenly asked him, “I have always liked him, haven’t I?”

When Xie Jianwei dropped that ambiguous sentence, Blood King Lu Li felt like he became trapped in an ice-cold cave.

Xie Jianwei stared at him and softly continued: “If it weren’t for Your Majesty, I would have lived a loving life with him— albeit ordinary, but it definitely would have been sweet. If I didn’t meet you, I wouldn’t have suffered the pain of betrayal; I didn’t need to become a blood family while in despair; I wouldn’t have fallen in love with an enemy, let alone suffer an endless torture these hundreds of years!”

Blood King Lu Li released Xie Jianwei as his eyes flickered. With his trembling voice, he asked: “What are you talking about?”

He still wouldn’t admit it, so Xie Jianwei decided to probe him with a cold face: “What am I talking about? You’re the one who knows about it the most, isn’t that right, Your Majesty?”

Xie Jianwei’s expression was just like what he saw during his nightmares. Although he had seen it countless times inside his dreams, but the moment his nightmare manifested into reality, his fear and anxiety magnified way more than what he expected.

“I …” He pressed his thin lips tightly as he struggled to utter some words “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry?” Xie Jian exclaimed lightly, “You ruined my life! You think I wouldn’t hate you when you did those things?!” His tears began to surge out like a flood. With his pair of black eyes filled with bitter hatred, he stubbornly stared at the Blood King,

Blood King Lu Li opened his mouth, but didn’t say anything even after a long while. Instead, he just lowered his misty eyes under his long eyelashes … He didn’t asked for forgiveness. In fact, he did not regret anything.

Those past memories were short, but it was beautiful. So many years have passed, but the scenes from those time were like frozen flowers— it was vivid and bright as ever.

How could he regret it? That was the only color in his long and boring life.

Even if he could turn back the time, he would still touch him once again.

Xie Jianwei said that as a human, he would have had an ordinary and happy life.  (t/n: below onwards is another flashback,)

And indeed, he and his partner at that time truly love each other. Although he fell in love with a man, the two people’s sincerity was enough to withstand the entire world’s criticisms. Ten years of being together have brewed their love into a mellow wine.

They were drunk with each other, but they didn’t know that there was a scarlet-eyed predator eyeing them in the distance.

Blood King Lu Li being born into the worlds was just an accident. He doesn’t need to eat, and doesn’t desire blood, so he paid no concern to the human beings. He doesn’t even care about power. Facing an endless life, his heart became like a still water—he is alive, but everything around him was just black and white.

Until he accidentally saw Xie Jianwei.(t/n: Our Marshal also likes shoujo tropes)

Just one glance. All it took was just one glance, and his eyes weres suddenly filled with bright colors.

In his world where there’s only black and white, he was shining so brightly: his beautiful eyes, nose, and ruddy lips— his entire being exuded an attractive fragrance.

The sudden heartbeat he felt from what he thought was just an empty space made him feel alive at that moment.

But just when he wanted to approach Xie Jianwei, Lu Li appeared. A human male, who unexpectedly looks exactly like him, even with the same name.

He kissed him, stroked him, and pressed him under his body which gave him great joy.

As he watched all of these, the Blood King Lul Li realized a strange pleasure— as if he was the one doing those things, as if Xie Jianwei was crying happily under himself…

As soon as that thought rose, a huge craving filled heart, making it difficult for him to even breathe. He wanted to get him, and he wanted to make those thoughts a reality.

Lu Li went away for some time, and the blood King took advantage of it. He appeared in front of Xie Jianwei.and the latter didn’t even realize the fact that he was not Lu Li. Although technically, he was also Lu Li as they bear the same name.

Blood King Lu Li became the Lu Li, and Xie Jianwei smiled and kissed him.

Blood King Lu Li had already tasted the sweet delicacy, so he thought it would be enough to quench his longing. But he was wrong. The taste was addictive, and after savoring it once, the endless longing that followed after was like a fire poured with oil, burning all his limbs in an instant.

He kissed him indiscriminately, and greedily wrapped his delicate lips.

“It’s broad daylight, and you’re hard again?” Xie Jian looked at him with a smile.

That smile could hook dozens of people, and the only thing the Blood King wanted to do was to possess him.

—And his obedience made his heart  tremble.

Blood King Lu Li held the sleeping Xie Jianwei in his arms and kissed him again and again, but he still felt dissatisfied. The desire that has been dormant for thousands of years awakened, but be restrained himself because he was pretending to be Lu Li.

Pretending.

That word was like an awakening to him, and waking up means it’s the end of his sweet dreams. Xie Jianwei wouldn’t smile, nor would he kiss him anymore. Xie Jianwei’s unreserved actions on opening his body was not even because of him.

Dirty jealousy then began to corrode his insides.

For an entire year, Blood King Lu Li pretended to be Lu Li whenever the latter went away. He continued to possess Xie Jianwei, and enjoyed the stolen happiness.

But such a way of being with someone is like the difference between ‘drinking a little ‘ and ‘quenching your thirst’. Drinking a tiny amount wouldn’t solve the fundamental problem. On the contrary, it would make someone’s heart become more and more greedy, and intensify their desire for true happiness. (t/n: I’m using them/their as a gender-neutral term)

The situation escalated when the human Lu Li got seriously injured. He thought he was going to die and didn’t want Xie Jian to feel sad, so he hid himself away to recuperate.

This undoubtedly gave Blood King Lu Li a wonderful opportunity. He was able to stay together Xie Jianwei for a full three months. They hugged each other and slept. The first thing they saw after waking up was each other. This kind of life was as sweet as a cotton candy, and it filled his chest with a good and light feeling.

And without comparison, one wouldn’t know what the previous days were like. His life in the past thousand of years couldn’t compare to these few months. Even though this short period of time was a lie and short, it was dazzling and full of memories.

Three months later, the human Lu Li came back, and the Blood king Lu Li who had to leave found this unbearable. He wanted to get Xie Jianwei, to monopolize him, and to “pretend” no longer. He wanted to face Lu Li and say that he is the only one who should be on Xie Jianwei’s side!

After the Blood King Lu Li arranged everything, he manipulated the human Lu Li to betray Xie Jianwei, and also manipulated Xie Jianwei’s family and friend to give up on him.

The betrayal of a lover and the abandonment of relatives and friends is an unimaginable tragedy for a human being.

Xie Jianwei’s entire world collapsed.

Blood King Lu Li was very distressed seeing him like that, but when he thought of their better future together, he did not look back.

After that, Xie Jianwei became a blood clan. The Blood king got what he wanted— he ultimately got Xie Jianwei, he finally belonged to him. (t/n: end of flashback)

All those moments, did he regret it?

How can I regret it? He didn’t— and even if he could never bring back those years that Xie Jianwei stayed with him, it was enough for him to face his ending calmly.

He didn’t know why Xie Jianwei remembered it. He also didn’t know why Lu Li, who was obviously a human being, reincarnated again and again and remember Xie Jianwei just the same.

The current Blood King Lu Li didn’t mind Xie Jianwei knowing that past— in fact, he was even a little happy.

Xie Jianwei couldn’t let go of him because he was dying. Xie Jianwei remembered it all now, so he would become someone he hated, but at the same time, he  would remember that the one he truly loved since the beginning was Lu Li.

So in this case … after he dies, Xie Jianwei would still be happy— although in the other person’s side, another person’s arms, and with another person’s love.

It’s okay.

Xie Jianwei asked him: “You’re going to die, right?”

Blood king Lu Li remained silent.

Xie Jianwei held his face and said in a word: “Not allowed.”

“Jianwei …” Blood King Lu Li whispered as he stared at him.

Xie Jianwei burst into tears and his shoulders kept trembling. This appearance melted the Blood King’s heart: “Don’t cry … Don’t cry. You remembered it all now right? Lu Li is the one you truly love. That Lu Li  is back, and you can be together again. I will not disturb you two anymore, I …”

He was about to finish what he was trying to say, but Xie Jianwei suddenly kissed him.

It was a kiss filled with bitter tears and a strong love. He kissed him fiercely, and it seemed that he exhausted all his strength. Xie jianwei rested his forehead on the other’s chest while sobbing: “Don’t die, don’t leave me.”

The Blood King didn’t move and he didn’t dare hug him nor speak. He felt like everything that was happening in front of him was like a dream— full of beautiful bubbles that would all disappear when touched.

“I can’t forgive you, but … I love you too.” The last few words were squeezed out of his throat.

Blood King Lu Li was wrapped in countless strong emotions, so strong that it made his heart tremble.

Hundreds of years of enjoyment, love, and living. He knew that this person was the one who ruined his first life, but love has long taken its roots deep inside.  How can this feeling, which had grown bigger as years passed-by until it reach the sky, be uprooted?

Blood King Lu Li gently touched Xie Jianwei and he slowly said: “Your Lu Li has come back.”

Xie Jianwei stubbornly looked at him:. “You’re not allowed to die.”

Blood King Lu Li: “……”

“If you die, I will leave you and every Lu Li forever!”

“Why… why?” Blood King Lu Li looked at him.

“I think of you when I look at him. I look at him …”

Blood King Lu Li kissed him and invaded his mouth madly.

********

Xie Jianwei slept in the palace for three days and three nights, and when he woke up again, the Blood King was no longer there.

He sat up and massaged his head.

Yan Ke whispered: “My Lord… Are you alright?”

Xie Jianwei: “I’m okay.” Although he said that, in fact, his emotional ups and downs had been extreme. Although most of them were intentional, they were his real feelings too. After all, this is Lu Li, his Lu Li — he would offer him everything just to remove Lu Li’s sadness.

Yan Ke asked him: “What should we do now?”

The dream had been completely unraveled, but it’s in an endless loop.

Human Lu Li and Xie Jianwei fell in love, and Blood King couldn’t get  Xie Jianwei’s love. Then human Lu Li exacted his revenge after being reincarnated. Heheavily injured the Blood King but in the end, he’s now the one suffering from being robbed of someone he cherished.

In general, heavenly law is prone to such loops —an eye for an eye,  a tooth for a tooth— such is the hard truth.

Yan Ke couldn’t see any solution to this situation at all. The two Marshals simply hated each other and he feared that once the Marshal who used to be a human  became aware of the truth,  he would just directly bombard the whole blood race.

Xie Jianwei said: “There is a way. It should work, but it will take some time.”

Yan Ke listened to Xie Jianwei’s plan: “This …”

“… Maybe it really can…” Yan ke couldn’t help but groan.

Xie Jian took a deep breath and got up from the bed to get dressed. He returned to his residence, and as expected, Lu Li was standing at the door.

He spent three days and three nights in the palace, and Lu Li stood there for three days and three nights.

It rained a little last night, and his clothes were all wet, but he still stood there, motionless, like a statue.

Xie Jianwei felt distressed again. He looked at him and said, “Come in.” Lu Li said nothing. When Xie Jianwei was about to enter the house, Lu Li grabbed his hand and then kissed roughly.

Xie Jianwei didn’t resist. He  let Lu Li vent the pain, despair and discomfort that had suppressed these past few days.

Xie Jianwei couldn’t enjoy the kiss because he knew it has no other meaning other than venting, but he wansn’t angry— not even a little. As they entered the room, he allowed Lu Li to do whatever he wanted in a state where he was somewhat out of control.

After the end, Xie Jianwei gasped, and Lu Li hugged him from behind, with a hoarse voice: “Ah-Wei …”

Xie Jianwei sighed lightly, “I’m here.”

“Are you going to leave me?” Asked Lu Li.

Xie Jianwei turned around and hugged him: “If I wanted to leave you, why would I come back?”

But … Lu Li didn’t dare to ask. He didn’t have the courage to do so, because he knew too well what the answer was.

Translator’s note(s):

Please click the purple ⇑ to return to where you left off

1.        ⇑         Even jumping into the Yellow River can’t get you clean– a Chinese idiom, meaning to become inexorably mixed up; mired in controversy; (be) in deep trouble.