I stare at my phone, thumb hovering over Lucyâs name. Three days since she left my bed, and I canât get her out of my head. The bruises from the fight have faded to ugly yellows and browns, but the memory of her touch, of the pleasure she brought, lingers stronger than the pain.
âFocus,â I mutter, tossing the phone aside. Iâm wasting an inordinate amount of time thinking about her. Wondering why she left in the middle of the night. Telling myself it was best that she had because this thing between us is going to blow up in my face anyway.
I give my head a shake in yet another attempt to rid her from it. I turn my attention to my job. The wall of evidence weâve gathered on the Keans stares back at me, photos, newspaper clippings, notes scrawled in my messy handwriting. Ten years of planning, of waiting, of carefully orchestrating our revenge.
My brothers and I swore weâd make the Keans pay for what they did to our parents. That fire took everything from usâour family, our home, our legacy. But when Lucy curls against me, laughing at my terrible jokes or furrowing her brow as she connects pieces of her investigation, the burning need for vengeance dims.
I catch myself smiling at random moments, remembering how she tastes, how she feels beneath my hands. The way she challenges me, refuses to back down even when I growl at her to stay safe. That fierce determination should annoy me. Instead, it draws me in deeper.
The mission demands cold calculation, not this warmth spreading through me. Iâve never let anyone close enough to matter. Caring about Lucy puts her at risk, puts everything weâve worked for at risk.
But I canât stop, donât want to stop.
And here I am again, thinking about her instead of plotting the Kean familyâs demise.
My phone buzzes, a text from Lucy about meeting tomorrow to compare notes. My heart jumps like a teenagerâs, and I curse under my breath. Iâm in too deep. I wonder if this is how Ash felt when he seemed head over heels over a girl. A girl who died in the fire and left him broken. If something happened to Lucy, would I be broken?
I shudder at the idea. I can now see why heâs adamant that I donât get attached. But clearly, itâs too late. It happened without my even noticing.
Lucy, on the other hand, seems to have put the brakes on. Oh, she still wants to work together for her story, but sheâs been keeping her distance. Once she figures out who I am, sheâll probably run for the hills. Worse, sheâll probably include it in her story. I can see the headline now. Ifrinn Sons Live! or Ifrinn Sons Return. Fuck. I canât fail my brothers by letting my feelings for Lucy get in the way.
I scan my notes again. Someone let the Keans past our defenses that night. Someone who knew the layout of our home, the guard rotations, my parentsâ schedule. Who would do such a thing? Yes, thereâs no honor among thieves, but still. My father had always been a pretty good judge of character, hiring only the best.
I close my eyes, trying to force the memories into focus. Was there anyone unhappy with the family at that time? I try to remember everyone who worked at the house. The guards. The house staff. But no one stands out.
But maybe it wasnât just one person. Yes, one person let them into the house, but maybe more were involved, especially considering how quickly Hampton Kean was able to seize our territory, absorb our allies, and consolidate power. They knew exactly where to strike, which suggests inside knowledge.
But who? Loyal soldiers, family friends, staff who were practically family themselves? We trusted them all. And at least one of them sold us out.
I drag myself away from the mass of documents and grab my keys. Time to face my brothers. The drive to Phoenixâs place gives me too much time to think about Lucy, about the investigation, about how everythingâs getting tangled together.
By the time I arrive, Iâve done what I can to push thoughts of her into the corner of my mind. I canât afford for them to see how fucked up I am over this woman.
âYou look like shit,â Blaise says, eyeing my healing bruises as I enter Phoenixâs apartment.
âBoxing will do that.â I go to my brotherâs fridge and grab a beer. âWe need to talk about what Lucy uncovered.â
Ashâs jaw tightens from where he stands, his arms crossed, but he doesnât say anything.
Blaise, on the other hand, canât help himself. âYou mean uncover more than your dick?â He smirks up at me from where he sits on the couch.
I roll my eyes and plop down in a stuffed chair. âFuck you.â
âAny updates on who might have let the Keans into the house?â Phoenix asks, ignoring us both. He stands opposite Ash. Theyâre both stoic and continue to take their roles as parental figures seriously even though Blaise and I are only a few years younger.
âYeah, did she get a name?â Blaise asks.
I shake my head. âJust rumors about someone who now works for the Keans. I also have been made aware of a cop in their pocket.â
âThatâs not a surprise,â Ash says. âDad had that.â
âYes, but apparently, thereâs someone who they call a pet. He could have been a part of it from the start as well, not just someone recruited to cover things up.â I take a long swig of beer.
âSeems like weâre better off focusing on the traitor. Cops are harder to infiltrate,â Ash says.
âIâve been racking my brain, but I canât think of anyone whoâd betray us like that,â I say.
Thereâs a long silence, and I imagine my brothers are trying to suss out who could have worked with the Keans to kill our parents.
âThey didnât just kill our parents, butâ¦â Blaise glances at Ash. âOthers in the house.â
Ash turns away. I wonder if heâll ever get over the loss of his first love.
âSo, who survived?â Phoenix asks.
âWho survived who knew the house and now works for Kean? Thatâs who we need to find,â I say.
âYour little journalist doesnât have any names?â Blaise asks.
I ignore his calling Lucy my little journalist. âNo. Not yet, anyway.â
âWell what is she doing? I thought she was diggingâ ââ
âShe is, but you know as well as I do that it could get her killed,â I snap at Blaise.
âThe girlâs getting under your skin.â Ash words are accusatory.
âI can handle it.â Although Iâm not sure I can. Can I really balance this growing thing with Lucy against the mission Iâve committed my life to?
My brothers exchange looks. They know me too well, know how single-minded Iâve been about destroying the Keans. Now Lucyâs shifted something fundamental inside me, and Iâm not sure if that makes me stronger or more vulnerable. It feels vulnerable.
âMaybe sheâs no longer useful,â Phoenix muses. âAnd as much as I want to make the Keans pay, I donât want a lot of collateral damage.â
Everything inside me goes cold thinking about Lucy as collateral damage. Phoenixâs comment highlights whatâs different between the Ifrinns and the Keans. The Keans wouldnât care who got caught up in their destruction. Collateral damage is a part of doing business in their minds.
âYouâve got that look again,â Blaise says, his lips curling into a knowing smirk. âThe one you get whenever you think about your little journalist being in trouble.â
âI donât have a look. And sheâs not mine.â God, I sound defensive.
âNo?â Blaise raises an eyebrow. âCouldâve fooled me with how you nearly broke that guyâs arm at the boxing match for touching her.â
It takes me a minute, but then I realize Blaise knows about the man I threatened for touching Lucy. âAre you following me?â
âJust for backup,â Phoenix says with a chastising glance at Blaise.
âYou should see him when sheâs around,â Blaise continues, clearly enjoying himself. âAll growly and possessive. âDonât touch her, donât look at her.â Itâs adorable, really.â
I stare at each of my brothers in turn, anger and pain growing in my gut. âYou donât trust meâ ââ
âItâs not that,â Phoenix says.
âWhat else could it be? You have Blaise following me as backup but donât bother to tell me?â Fucking hell. Does he know what I did with Lucy in the bathroom just before I threatened the man harassing her?
âWe just wanted extra protection for you at the fights,â Ash says in a tone my mother used to use when she was exasperated by us.
I stand up and thrust my beer at Phoenix. âFuck you. Fuck you all.â I start toward his door. I donât need to put up with this shit. I can do my job without them.
âFlint.â Phoenix isnât moved or bothered by my words. âAll we wanted was to protect you. Youâre the one putting his neck out there more than we are.â
I donât buy it. Not completely, anyway. âHow long? How long has Blaise been following me?â
âSince you decided to make mincemeat out of Keanâs men at the pub,â Blaise says, not at all concerned by how betrayed I feel. So much for twin connections.
âRight. That seems to shoot your reasoning out of the water,â I say to Phoenix. âBecause I was going to the fights long before that.â
âThat woman is making you vulnerable,â Ash says, sounding not at all apologetic for sending Blaise to spy on me.
I glare at him. âIâm protecting an asset.â
Blaise snorts. âIs that what weâre calling it now?â
âBlaise, shut the fuck up,â Phoenix snaps at him. Then he turns to me. âAsh is right. All this started when you decided to play hero by saving the womanâ ââ
âRight. I should have let Keanâs men rape and kill her. Iâll remember that next time. Except⦠wait⦠didnât you just say something about avoiding collateral damage?â
His jaw tightens. âWhat they wanted to do had nothing to do with us.â
I want to punch Phoenix. Did he just suggest I should have let OâBrian and his men attack Lucy?
âActually, it did. Sheâs poking around to find out how the Keans rose to power. And for your information, this didnât start with her. It started when someone let the Keans into the house and killed our parents.â
âWhenâs the wedding?â Blaise teases. âI call best man.â
âIâm done with this shit.â I make another attempt to leave.
âSeriously, bro,â Blaise says, his tone softening. âI havenât seen you like this since⦠well, ever.â
âItâs none of your fucking businessâ ââ
âIt is if it gets in the way of our goal here,â Phoenix says.
âAnd how has that happened? Where have I failed this mission?â I feign thinking. âNope, canât think of anythingâ ââ
âYou nearly outed yourself by taking on Keanâs men.â
âI nearly out myself every time I walk into a fight. You know that. Itâs one of the issues we discussed when we started this whole thing. At any time, they could recognize me.â I shake my head. âNah, this is something else. Are you jealous?â I turn to Blaise. âThatâs it, isnât it? Iâm sure Blaise is still a virgin, so he must beâ ââ
âFuck you, Flint.â Blaiseâs usual annoying, jovial attitude darkens.
âAlright, thatâs enough. This has gottenâ ââ
âAnd you can stop acting like youâre our father,â I snap at Phoenix. âYouâre only three years older than me.â
âSheâs a distraction we canât afford right now. Ten years, Flint. Ten years weâve waited to make the Keans pay,â Ash says, not giving a fuck how I feel.
âYou think Iâve forgotten? I was there too. I remember the smoke, the screamingâ ââ
âThen act like it,â Phoenix cuts in. âThis journalist, sheâs making you sloppy. Breaking cover to protect her, bringing her into our investigationâ ââ
âNo, that was your idea to bring her in. Not mine.â
Blaise shifts uncomfortably as if he realizes just how off the rails this is getting.
I look at them all. âI think you all need to get laid. You spend way too much time thinking about my dick.â But I know a part of what theyâre saying, what theyâre worried about, is true. Our parentsâ killers are still out there, living their lives while we plot in the shadows. And here I am, dreaming about a future with a woman who doesnât even know my real name. Whoâll be repulsed by me when she learns the truth.
The guilt grows as I consider how much weâve all sacrificed for this mission of revenge. What right do I have to seek happiness while our parentsâ murderers walk free?
âI know what needs to be done,â I say, more to convince myself than my brothers.
âYou should cut her loose, not just for your sake but hers too,â Ash says.
I shake my head. âSheâs already neck-deep in this investigation. With or without me, sheâll keep digging until she finds answers.â
âOr until the Keans find her,â Phoenix points out.
âExactly.â I meet each of my brothersâ eyes in turn. âAt least with me watching her back, she has a chance.â I turn to Phoenix. âMitigate collateral damage.â
Blaise sighs. âYouâre not wrong. But mixing revenge withâ¦â He gestures vaguely. âWhatever is going on with you and herâ ââ
âI know what Iâm doing.â I have no fucking idea what Iâm doing. âWe find the traitor, we take down the Keans, we get justice for our parents. Thatâs my focus. Maybe you should focus on that too instead of worrying about my dick.â
Of course, this is partly a lie too. Because beyond the mission, I now have a new job. I have someone to protect. Someone who makes me want more than just revenge. The realization should terrify me, but instead it feels like Iâm moving toward solid ground after years of drifting.
âIâll keep her safe,â I promise my brothers. âAnd weâll use what she discovers. Two birds, one stone.â
âHeâs going to do whatever he wants,â Blaise says. Before I can tell him heâs an asshole, he continues. âSo far, heâs managed to get close to Keanâs men and learn useful information.â
I want to point out itâs more than any of them have done, but since Blaise seems to be on my side at the moment, I keep that quip to myself.
âJust be careful, Flint.â Phoenix puts his hand on my shoulder. âWeâre a team.â
For a moment, I wonder what will happen if we succeed in taking the Keans down and restoring the Ifrinn family to power. Aside from sweet revenge, what will we gain? Once the goal is achieved, what is left in life?
Lucy.
âIâve got to get back to it,â I say, finally opening the door to leave. My brothersâ concerns echo in my head as I return home. Theyâre right. Lucy complicates everything. But itâs crystal clear to me that walking away isnât an option anymore. At least not on my end. Lucy, on the other hand, seems to be able to keep her distance. As difficult as it is for me, I need to respect that. Let her go. It will get my brothers off my back and allow me to laser focus on my job. And Iâll avoid the inevitable heartbreak when she learns who I am and decides Iâm not good enough.
Even as I think about keeping my distance, I know it wonât work. Sheâs going to keep digging, too damn stubborn, fearless, and determined for her own good. Sheâs going to get herself killed if I donât protect her.
Unfortunately for her, Iâm stubborn too. I donât want distance. I want her. Instead of going the smart route of letting her go, I decide I can have it all. Iâll find the answers we need to exact our revenge, keep Lucy safe, and find a way to deserve her trust so that when she learns the truth, sheâll be as in deep with me as I am with her.
Iâm playing a dangerous game, trying to balance my familyâs vendetta with these growing feelings for Lucy. One wrong move and I could lose everythingâthe chance for revenge, my brothersâ trust, Lucyâs safety. Her life.
But I canât walk away from either path now. Two worlds, two missions, and Iâm caught between them. The wrong move will destroy everything.