Jisung and I made our way to the library.
He was pulling me by the hand. "Hey Hey," I repeated. His grip on my hand was tight I couldn't resist. "I thought you said we were going to eat," I whined.
Jisung led me to an aisle, he let go of my hand. "We will we will." Jisung nodded quickly. He started looking through the shelves. It looked like he was looking for a book in particular.
"What are you looking for?" I asked him. But, he kept being flustered.
I lowered my head. I felt the grumbling in my stomach. "Jisunggggg, I am hungry." I started to move around anxiously.
"Hold on Hold on." He repeated. Jisung's eyes widened as he set his eyes on a book in particular. He took it out of the shelf and into his arms. Then he started looking for a few more. "I am looking for the books that I have read before So I can look back at it again and show you." He muttered as he gathered a few more books. He then led me to the studying area. He placed a bunch of books on a table and released a big sigh. "I mean.." I scratched my head. Jisung started to look through the books, I saw his eyes scanning quickly down the pages.
"I wonder if this is what he was like when he was at school." I laughed to myself.
"You mean...?" Jisung looked over at me.
"Uh..Well," There was a little doubt in my voice. "Are you sure this is real..? I mean I could just be crazy or it's just a coincidence? Like it sounds superficial to me." I scratched my head. Deep down I had an odd feeling. Something like this I couldn't just believe.
"Ah Ah, It's okay if you don't believe but my genius mind, but I will show you." Jisung was quickly going through the pages. "Here." He pointed to a part on the page. I peeped over his shoulder. I focused on the word.
"Park Jinyoung discovered something that could create someone's time to slow down,
Some believe that it came from space, or underground. Or it was something supernatural bread and contained.
Park Jinyoung believed that his life was slowed while the world around him sped up. That lead to him barely aging as the days had passed by."
Jisung read off.
I then saw an image that was on the side of a page. It said: "Picture of Park Jinyoung in 1920." Compared to a picture "Picture of Park Jinyoung in 1965."
Side by side there was no difference. "See what I mean?" Jisung glanced over at me.
Then he picked up another book. "See, I started to do more research on Park Jinyoung and I spent countless hours on this." He flipped through another book. I started to feel my heart start to beat. "I mean, This sounds really odd. It isn't just a theory, right?" I took a deep breath.
"That's what I thought at first. I just happened to read up on it in that book but my curiosity got the better of me." Jisung made a small laugh. As I watched him read, I noticed a sparkle in his eyes. "Something changed when I was on my trip...what was it? He looks so much lighter and happier now. Or is he just putting up an act...?" These thoughts ran through my mind.
"ah, look here." He pointed again and read off: "Park Jinyoung is an author and producer. His life was affected when he "went on a trip deep in the woods." as he claims. Based on evidence. His claims appeared to be true and he happened to claimed the object that had caused this effect on him. The object is not specified."
Jisung went on and on about this man.
"But, what does it have to do with me? I am not Park Jinyoung nor have I had an encounter with him. So...how does this point to me?" I shrugged back. Jisung and I took a step back from the books. "That's true. I was on a hunt before for the object. I went to the woods but ended up failing...yeah and you pretty much know the rest since you came to rescue me basically." Jisung scratched his head.
Jisung had been through a lot, and I didn't blame him for his bravery and curiosity. It was to save mom anyway. "How about we finish talking about this over dinner because I am hungry." I had mentioned out of the blue. "Right." Jisung flustered and put the books up. We then suddenly rushed around people in the library.
"Sorry, I kinda forgot you slept all day." Jisung chuckled nervously.
"It's fine, bro. You are just really excited to show me that's all.." I started to mutter. I looked down at my feet as we walked and I felt my head spinning. "This is all so weird..but how does this have anything to do with me? What did I encounter?" Jisung then made sure I was right behind him. "Where do you want to go to eat?"
When he asked me that one place came to my mind. The place where Hyunjin had brought me, a cafe where his friend works.
"Well, I haven't been there much so I don't know what type of real food they have..but I know this cafe we can try," I mentioned. Jisung's eyes lit up. "Sure Sure." He nodded in agreement. This happy Jisung made my heart feel happy. I liked to see my brother up and going again. But I was still curious about what had caused him to suddenly spurt up like this. As we walked to the cafe I had a lot of thoughts running through me. I felt a nervous feeling like something was off, and somehow Jisung was right about the whole thing. As we walked in Jeongin had noticed us, I was afraid he was going to recognize me, so I lowered my head as we made our way to the counter. Jisung noticed how nervous I looked. "What may I get you?" Jeongin said with a shy, bright smile on his face. Jisung looked back at me then back up again. "Just two club sandwiches please." He said quickly. "And two cokes."
"I don't drink soda." I glared over at him. "Oh. Water then." Jisung made a nervous laugh. Jeongin had noticed my face. "Hey, I have seen you before." He looked nervous. Jeongin fixed his hair that was trapped by his hat.
"Oh, you're the girl with Hyunjin right..?" Jeongin tried to look at me, but then Jisung covered me with his arm. "Yeah, what about her and Hyunjin? did you two come here?" He glared down at me. "Yeah,"
"You should've told me you went on dates with him." Jisung let out a small laugh but I couldn't help but feel my heart race. I covered my face because I was so embarrassed. "Shut up," I muttered while nudging his shoulder.
"Oh, that's why he talked so much about you," Jeongin mentioned while looking down shyly.
"He talked about me?" I was surprised by what he said.
"Yeah, even just last night. I asked if you two were together but he ignored me. He still talked about you..I don't know how much I can say." Jeongin started to panic then put our order in. Then my heart started pounding even heavier. "If Hyunjin is talking or thinking about me...why isn't he talking to me..?" I had the thought in my mind, and I couldn't let it go.
Jisung and I sat down and I started to eat really fast because I was so hungry. "Does that mean I hurt him somehow?.." That was my biggest worry of all.
Jisung waved his hand in front of my eyes to get my attention. I shook my head to fully focus on him again. "ah, yeah."
"But, we aren't together." I laughed nervously. "Okay, so," Jisung took a big sip of his coke.
I looked outside and it was already dark. I felt a wave come over my heart. I took a big sigh.
"When did it start happening?" he asked me.
"Uhh." I started to think and started to rummage through my thoughts to try to pinpoint when exactly it started. A memory popped up in my head:
My head was lying on Hyunjin's, I felt my heart beating in my chest, my temperature rising, I was sitting under the moon with him, while on our cold, winter trip.
"I think it's when I was on my trip..I remember it speeding up then, it may have started before then but it got worse on the trip." I scratched my head.
"Did you encounter anything that could have caused that? anything out of the normal?" Jisung took a big sip, making the straw sound like it was almost empty.
"Ah..I mean I didn't find any new objects or anything...I, I just felt new things but like," As I was saying that I had heard the bell to the door ring, someone had walked in. I looked to the right beside me to see someone walk right past me and up to the counter.
It was him, even if I didn't want it to be and wanted it to be at the same time. Hyunjin was there. He didn't seem to notice me, so I tried hiding my face. Hyunjin and Jeongin were talking, I couldn't hear what they were saying but Jeongin had a shy smile on his face. Jisung noticed how flustered I was. He looked at me, then back at Hyunjin, then back at me again.
"What...? Something did happen, right? Why are you trying to hide?" Jisung whispered to me. I still haven't mentioned to anyone what I heard, nor did Hyunjin say anything about it either. He didn't explain anything to me, and that is why I felt so embarrassed around him.
I kept taking peeks up at him. I had noticed that Jeongin kept looking over at me, then suddenly Hyunjin turned his head back at me. I immediately looked down, I felt my heart racing, my head spinning, my body heating up. "He saw me, is he just going to ignore me? is he actually going to talk to me? Laugh? Brush me off?" My head raced. I couldn't stop the worries.
"Hey." Jisung stood up and got Hyunjin's attention. He faced him. "What happened between you two? Annie has been so stressed out and I can tell." Jisung shrugged.
"Oh," Hyunjin moved his hair back with his hands. He looked down, and it looked like he had a shy, nervous smile on his face. "Nothing." He muttered.
"Nothing?"
"Nothing?" Jisung spoke my mind. "Then why is she so scared to be around you?" he pointed to me. All I could do was look down. I felt my heart start to pound, start to feel guilty.
"I-" I stood up. "I heard what you said," I spoke directly to Hyunjin. Hyunjin's face looked concerned, worried.
I almost let out frustration at him but then I realized, I couldn't be mad at him. As I looked into his eyes I felt this spark of relief. I made a big sigh. "It's fine, I do understand." I made a gentle smile. I leaned over to grab Jisung's hand, and I led him out of the cafe. I felt the cold wind hit my face as I got outside, I heard the cars and the town noise. I took a deep, cold breath and started to pace around with my hands shoved in my coat pockets.
"Are you okay? You didn't even explain." Jisung shrugged.
"I am fine. I felt like I understood him somehow." I looked up at the night sky. I saw my breath in the air.
"You guys should talk it out or it'll be tense all the time..don't you want to be close to him, still?" Jisung had a soft tone in his voice. I know he was just saying this because he was caring for me as my brother, "and I want that. But, I have to respect him if he doesn't want that." I made a quick smile and started hopping down the street. Jisung followed right behind me. "But, what if he does?"
"I don't think so." I doubted. Even though I didn't want it to be true I somehow felt this feeling of peace. I kept remembering the soft look in his eyes. "This is way different than how we were before at school. I can't pinpoint it. But, when I started to like him is when things started to change." The night soon came to an end. The night flew by without me even blinking, but the whole time Jisung was there.
The thought of Hyunjin was there.
It was hard to sleep, I tossed and turned, for some reason, I couldn't fall asleep. I took out my phone and the light, blinding my eyes. I squinted as I scrolled through my messages. I saw the old messages I had to Hyunjin. I felt tempted to text him. I felt drawn towards him: "Is this why I can't sleep." I muttered to myself. I shook my head then turned my phone back off again. "There's no way." I looked up at the ceiling. It was already almost morning, and yet it still feels like I just laid in bed.
Suddenly my phone lit up.
I quickly looked at it hoping it was Hyunjin. It was Changbin.
I took a big sigh as I read: "How is your Winter Break going? I was wondering if you'd like to hang out with our group tomorrow?"
I was nervous about what he said. "Our group? does he mean Him, Minho, Felix, and...Hyunjin..?" I thought as I held my phone close to my face. I smiled at the thought of being next to Him.
"but." I shook my head out of my fantasy. "He doesn't want to see me." I tried to tell myself.
But, I couldn't say no. I wanted to spend time with them. I tried to focus on the others in my mind, and I wanted to think about other things other than Hyunjin. But, it was hard for me to keep pushing it off.
"Sure." I quickly set a reminder on my phone so I didn't forget the time, I couldn't keep track of time. "Maybe all that Jisung is saying is true.
Maybe I am like Park Jinyoung.
Or whatever his name was."
I sighed to myself as my eyes got droopy. I could barely even focus on what I was thinking about.
"This is not like what I wanted this school year to be at all, why couldn't it just have been like last year?" I asked myself.
I dragged myself out of bed, and it was already mid-day. I felt my winter vacation flying by.
"Christmas is coming soon." I yawned to myself. But, It honestly slipped my mind until I heard Jisung playing Christmas music in the living room.
"This year is way different." I started to get dressed in a comfy, warm outfit to wear to the get-together. I looked in the mirror and my eyes looked heavy, and my skin looked worn. I took a big sigh, and rubbed my face slowly while muttering: "When did I start looking so drained?" I yawned to myself as I tried to make myself look more woken up. I tied up my hair, The morning was already over, and I felt exhausted and tired of it.
When I walked out of my room I saw Jisung reading a book. He noticed me as I made my way to the door. "Oh, I will just be doing more research on Park Jinyoung today, and his family and stuff like that. When You get back I will talk to you more about him." He told me.
I made a nod to him. I didn't know what he was going to do, but I decided to trust him since I was still confused about the whole thing. As I was opening the door I heard him say: "Also, don't overwork yourself, your body is really weak because of everything going on so, please just look after yourself and give me a call if you need me." Jisung told me. I looked back at him. "Of course, dad. Thank you." I made a soft smile at him. He chuckled nervously. "Yeah, yeah." He teased. I left and started to go to the park where we all were meeting. I had my head pointed straight but my mind felt a little foggy. I wasn't sure why, but some moments I felt a bit lightheaded. I shook my head to shake out of it. I looked ahead as I walked down the sidewalk. I kept checking the time to make sure it didn't get ahead of me.
"Time really is a game, huh?" I laughed at myself. I shoved my hands in my coat pockets because it was really cold. My nose started to go numb.
I walked in the park entrance and looked around at the bare trees, and the icy gloss on top of the grass. I walked along the sidewalk and looked around to see if I could see them anywhere. "Who hangs out at a park in the Winter?" I heard a voice behind me say. I quickly looked back and say, Felix, scratching his head, looking around.
"ah, yeah." I jumped back with a nervous laugh. "It's nice to see you," I added. He made a quick smile back. "You too." Minho then quickly popped up behind him. "I am here too." His smile showed. "Changbin is the one who set this up and he's late." Minho shrugged. "Right." We were all looking around at the bare park, but even if it was bare, I still found it quite beautiful, and the cold breeze on my face. The wonder still went through my mind if Hyunjin was going to be here or not.
Then I heard talking coming down the street, heading into the park. I looked back and saw, and my heart started to flutter. Changbin and Hyunjin were walking together. Changbin's face lit up as he saw us. "You're already here." He laughed, embarrassed. But, me and Hyunjin's eyes met from afar. I couldn't stop looking at him, and I felt like he was talking to me. A soft smile appeared on his face. I didn't know what he was thinking but all I knew is that I felt my heart beating. I couldn't deny that fact.
"Okay, so, what are we going to do?" Minho scratched his head confused. "I am hungry."
"Uh, do you guys want to go out of town, or stay in town?" They all discussed. We all gathered together in a circle. But, I kept wanting to look up at Hyunjin. I felt my face get warm, I started to feel again. This vibe from him was different from the other times we met, it was different from yesterday, I wasn't sure why, or how. But, it gave me a light in my chest.
The others started to walk away and I decided to follow behind, I could barely say anything. Hyunjin followed right beside me. I felt my face was red. I was way too nervous to say anything. I didn't want to mess up. "He's close to me now.." I thought as we walked. I felt my head start to get foggy over and over, but I shook it off. I looked in the corner of my eye and I saw him looking at me gently.
"Why is this all so confusing...?" I muttered as they stopped ahead of us, I almost ran my face into Felix's back. "Sorry, mate." Felix turned back at me. I laughed nervously as we all walked inside this restaurant. "I feel like we are always eating." Felix made a small laugh.
"It's because eating is essential." Minho stretched his arms as we made our way to the table. "It's a good way to come together, you know?" Changbin shrugged.
"You're quiet today, Annie," Minho mentioned and they all looked at me. I blushed and flustered my hands. "Just a bit tired that's all." I chuckled nervously, then looked at the food at the table. I felt really zoned out and it felt like all I could really focus on was my heart pounding, the feelings in my chest. "This is too weird." I thought. I looked up and saw Hyunjin making a small smile, looking down at himself. "What's going through his head?" I thought.
The others were talking but I could barely focus on it. "I want to." I thought as I looked around at them. But, it was hard.
"So, what are you all doing for Christmas?" was something I could hear. "Uh, just with my family, and hanging out and stuff, baking, singing, presents, stuff like that," Felix said.
"Ah, same. I am probably going to be going Christmas shopping, and tree hunting too." Minho shrugged.
"Ah, basically my mom is going to take me a bunch of places and we are going abroad for Christmas, so I won't be here." Changbin made a sigh.
"How about you guys?" Changbin looked at both Hyunjin and me.
"Well," Hyunjin scratched his head. "Probably just the normal, nothing different really. How about you?" Hyunjin looked up at me. I was surprised that he said something to me. I coughed out of embarrassment. "Uh, nothing I guess. " I shrugged.
"Nothing special or...?" Minho raised his eyebrow at me.
"Uh, nothing at all." I scratched my head. "I mean, it'll just be my brother and me so we might have hot cocoa like usual in front of the fireplace, but, there won't be much." I made a small nod.
"Oh.." Felix muttered and it went silent for a bit. I looked at their faces and they seemed kind of upset. "Did I say too much...?" I muttered and I looked down. Then I heard a sigh.
"You and your brother are free to come over for Christmas at my place, but, it's up to you." I heard Hyunjin say. I looked up at him and felt a sparkle. "Ah, you don't have to, but thank you.." I felt this shy feeling. "He is making an effort now...? Why are things changing so dramatically again..?" I felt my chest get heavier, and my head gets lighter. I felt weak and drained, but I shook it off again as we finished up eating. We all stood up, But I think I stood up too fast. I started to get really dizzy and felt my head falling down. I tried to catch myself on the table, but my vision was so blurry that I missed it and ended up falling to the ground. Everything went black. My heart was pumping, but my energy was low. My head was spinning, all I could hear was muffling. I didn't know what had happened and I didn't know how to comprehend it all. Suddenly there was this warm feeling, I felt like I was in a blanket, I felt safe, then I felt my eyes start to open slowly. As I opened them I saw Hyunjin's face close to me. I glimpsed around at the little I could see, and realized he was holding me in his arms. The others were gathered around me. I was laying upon Hyunjin's lap, and my head close to his chest. He was holding me, supporting my head. I felt my heart pounding, but I also felt safe. My head started to clear up as I focused on his face. He realized that I had woken up, and he had the most concerned look on his face. I felt his heart beating fast, and his breathing starting to worry.
I started to blink slowly as things started to come back to feeling. "Why is he holding me like this...?" I thought to myself as I took a deep breath, I could barely feel myself move.
Then I saw Hyunjin's face, his eyes locked with mine and his eyes started to tremble, wouldn't stay still with mine.
"I am sorry." He muttered to me. "This is all my fault."