Chapter 9: 08- Liam You Suck At Keeping Secrets

08

It was already nine in the evening and Liam was playing Wii, after he did his homework which was just writing his name. I was on my laptop, wasting my life ogling at hot men and watching Gossip Girl.

Opening my Facebook account to chat with my sister, I found a new friend request. It was from Blake Greene. Without any reluctance, I accepted his request right away and I completely ignore Gossip Girl as I stalk his profile.

There were pictures of him, most of them with Allie, and some while he was at work. Some were with his coworkers (I presume), and he looked good as always. He had pictures of both Allie and him together in the park, licking ice cream cones, both of them in the toy store, and the likes.

But what caught my eye was picture, a collage to be exact of a woman, a gravestone in one and both the same woman and Blake in another. Then I realized this was his wife.

I would’ve read the name engraved on the stone but I couldn’t make it out. It just looked like lines. I read the bottom of the picture where the caption was.

Allie’s growing quite a child here, and we both miss you. She looks like you too. I love you.

Retracting my eyes back to the woman’s picture, I apprehend the fact that Allie did look like her. They both shared almost the same everything, except where Blake’s gray eyes come in. The woman had brown eyes, and Allie has gray ones, like her dad’s.

Out of the blue, the Skype window appears and a dial tone blasts through my speakers, scaring me shitless. I gave s shriek but not loud enough to stop Liam from playing. I ran my eyes on the screen and saw that it was my sister calling. So much or just chatting with her.

“Where’s Liam?” were the first few words I heard when I accepted the call. I couldn’t see them yet.

“Hello too. I had a nice day, thank you for asking.” I rolled my eyes. What a greeting.

Carrying my laptop with me, I pushed myself off the kitchen bar stool. Liam was swishing the controller of his Wii when I went in.

“Liam your mother wants to talk to you.” I set the laptop down on the coffee table and immediately, Liam stopped playing. He placed the controller beside my laptop and completely ignored his already losing game.

“Mommy! Daddy!” he squealed as he saw his parents’ face on the screen.

“How are you my little prince?” Reese cooed, a smile forming on her lips seeing her child happy. “Has Aunt Beth been good to you?”

“I’m good.” Liam nodded. “Beth has been the best, mommy!”

“Really?” Dominic interjected, snorting at me. “Has she?”

“Of course I have.” I snorted. “Even your own child says so.”

“And how much sugar has he been eating?” Dominic glances at me, a smug smile playing on his lips.

Well that made me drop my smirk, and covered my face when Liam cried out, “A lot” for me.

“Bethany Hamilton I told you no sugar!” My sister shrieks, her voice booming out from the poor speakers. “Liam is going to get diabetes before he reaches puberty!”

I winced when she mentioned my full name. I didn’t like people calling me Bethany, what more with my entire name?

“Liam you suck at keeping secrets.” I whispered to him and stuck my tongue out.

His eyes widened at me and gasped, covering his mouth. He mouthed ‘I forgot’.

“It’s not that much Reese.” I rolled my eyes. “It’s not my fault he acquired your sweet tooth, or that his aunt is a baker. And he won’t get diabetes.”

“She’s right darling.” Dominic rested his palm on her arm. “You do have a sweet tooth.”

“I told you so.” I sang, a grin spread on my lips. “Not my fault.”

Reese sighed in defeat when she knew both of us were right. She had a sweet tooth and even she herself couldn’t deny that.

“Just don’t give him too much, okay?”

I grinned. “I won’t.”

Dominic stood up from his seat, leaving only Reese and I alone. Liam went back to playing Wii.

“Who is this Blake Greene I keep hearing about?” Reese asked.

My eyes widened, and if I was drinking something right now I would’ve spit it all out. My head snapped to the screen where a beaming Reese was seen.

“Where did you get that?” I tried to act cool, like that didn’t bother me, like I had no idea who this Blake was.

Reese shrugged. “Dani sent me a message in Facebook.”

I groaned and plopped down the couch. Really, Dani? Jesus that girl doesn’t know how to stop. She is pretty close with me, and sadly she is too with my sister. I wonder what else they talk about me behind my back.

“Tell me, who is he?”

Pushing myself up so that my webcam could capture me, I scowled at her. “He’s…. a friend.”

Reese raised a brow and it seemed like she didn’t believe me. I wouldn’t believe me too. “Only a friend?”

“Yes.” No.

“Dani told me he’s hot, like Calvin Klein- Abercrombie model hot.”

Well she’s not wrong.

“He’s some eye candy I guess.”

I guess? Pfft.

“And you like him, don’t you?”

“No.” Yes.

“Stop lying Beth.” She told me. “It’s okay to fall in love. You can’t keep your walls up forever. You’ll only hurt yourself in the end. I know that because of what had happened you’re scared to the bones, petrified, of opening your heart to someone. It’s okay to let you guards down once in a while.”

I didn’t say anything. An awkward silenced was in between us but I refused to break it. I didn’t want to answer to her when she fully knew my answer all too well. We’ve had these talks before, countless times in fact when she’d persuade to open up after my first break up that made me spiral downhill.

It just didn’t work.

And it never will.

“Please Beth. Just this one last time. You don’t know what you’re missing out. Follow your heart.” She used the overworked cliché line.

“It’s not that easy to do Reese.” I covered my face with my hands, trying to put words together in my head. “You didn’t see what I saw. You didn’t feel what I did. You weren’t there most of the time when it happened. You aren’t the one who’s terrified in loving.”

“I know, and there’s nothing more I regret that not being with my little sister during that time. It was hard, I understand. I wish I was there to be with you. I’m sorry, you know that.” I could see Reese’s eye twinkle.

“You didn’t get your heart broken into a million tiny pieces.” I whispered softly. “Which piece should I follow when every single bit just cocoons itself in fear of another heartbreak?”

“Just…when you want to love, don’t pull away. Let yourself be free for once.” I heard her sigh. “So, tell me more about this Blake guy.”

“There is nothing to tell.”

“When and how did you two meet?” Reese asked, ignoring completely my last statement.

“Saturday when I came to pick up Liam.” I answered, trying to keep a straight face but just couldn’t help a little smile escape.

“Why was he there?”

“His daughter was there as well-”

“Daughter?!” her jaw dropped as she stared at me horror. “Beth please tell me you won’t be one of…those women.”

She says the word ‘those’ like it burned her tongue, and hearing it made me flinch too.

“Oh, no.” I shook my head as if my life depended on my answer. “I will never do that. His wife died giving birth.”

She heaved a sigh of relief and so did I. “Thank God. For a second I thought were going to be.”

“I could never destroy a family, Reese.” I shook my head at her. “Never.”

“I know, I know.” She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. “I’m sorry I thought of that. It’s just that, you know…”

“Yeah, I do.” I whispered and look down at my fingers, playing with the hem of my shirt with it, wrapping and unwrapping the fabric over the tips of my fingers. “Too much actually.”

“I know.” She repeated. This guy seems nice. I’d like to meet him when we get back.”

My mom lived in the country with my grandmother, and with my dad being MIA, Reese was the one doing all the inspections and giving out all the warnings, especially after my first boyfriend which happened to be my last.

I never brought another guy to our annual family get together, or to meet with her because I had no one to bring because I was too much of a chicken to do so.

“I’ll see about that.” I utter to her, running my fingers through my hair.

“I think Liam likes Allie, Blake’s daughter.” I hyped up, deciding to change the subject. “They even hold hands and stuff like that.”

“Damn my kid got skills!” Dominic suddenly joins us, and dropped down on the couch beside his wife. “I told you he’d be a natural.”

“Dominic!” Reese smacked the arm of her child’s father and scowled at him. “You shouldn’t encourage that. He’s only four.”

“He’ll be quite the ladies’ man when he grows up.” I nodded. “I mean come on, have you seen him in action? He’s smooth, real smooth I must say.”

“Oh my God.” Reese sighed exasperated at both Dominic and I. “You two have been ganging up against me. Beth, you shouldn’t like Dominic because he’s my husband, or just fake like him. And you Dominic,” she turned to the man beside her. “Should get annoyed with Beth but still try for her to accept you as my husband. That’s like the balance of nature. Both of you shouldn’t be agreeing or even getting along!”

That was unexpected.

I burst out laughing, and seemingly so did Dominic.

“See?”

We kept on talking for a few more minutes. I asked how their trip was going, and they even got me postcards, and my much awaited puzzle. They had pictures together of the places they’ve been, the food they’ve eaten and the things they found on the streets of the downtown of South Africa.

“Oh and Beth?” My sister called my attention when we were both alone, just as I was about to exit the Skype window. “By the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about Blake, and how sweet he is to his daughter, I don’t think you have anything to worry about him. Even Dani says so.”

“What else did you guys talk about my love life?”

“I’m just saying here Bethany.” She rolled her eyes. “Open up for this man. Let yourself love him. I believe he won’t hurt you.”

“You haven’t even met him.”

It was true. I didn’t mean to sound rude to my sister or anything but how can she say she believes that Blake won’t hurt me if I do open up.

I wasn’t talking about fantasy here. I’m talking about reality and the cold harsh truth it takes along. This is not Cinderella where one shoe fixes things up, not like Snow White where a single kiss is the solution to the problems. This is reality where guys can be assholes; girls can be bitches and with a single snap of a finger, your world can come crashing down. And as much as I wanted to live in a fairy tale, I know it’ll never happen.

“Yes that’s true.” She nodded at me. “But I know.”

“And how’s that?” I narrowed my eyes at her, suspicious and intrigued of her answer.

She just shrugged. “I’m a mother, even though I’m not yours. It’s an instinct.”

“You only have one child, and he’s still four.” I deadpanned.

“Still a mother.”

We end our conversation, well our argument if you’d like to call it seeing that we debated on why she has this instinct when Liam can barely pronounce Allie’s name correctly. All she kept on countering me was that she’s a mother, which is true but I don’t think that instinct will come until you have like your second child and one of them is over seventeen and had or has a relationship. Or had a shitty relationship.

I stared at the white ceiling, thinking. Liam was beside me, fast asleep and so were Skittles and Bruce. Many thoughts crossed my mind, and just thinking of them gave me a headache.

It’s okay to let you guards down once in a while

Reese’s words rang in my head and I know my sister is right. Maybe I should open up one more time, one last time. It’s been years already, and I think I’m ready.

I don’t take Blake as that kind of man.

What if he is that kind? What if just like my ex, he break my heart? What if he will do the things I am afraid of?

What if I open my heart to him and he just crushes it?

I can’t keep relying on ice cream and cookies to numb the pain, and on masking tape to try to patch it up when I know it would take something much more than that. I don’t want to go to back to the road of fixing my heart with ice and push everything and everyone away.

Been there, felt that, don’t want any more of that crap.

But a part of me wants to at least try and the other part is scared to death. I’m torn.

Sighing, I gave up tired having an internal debate with myself. I closed my eyes, ready for sleep to take me in and when it did my mind went blank relieving my brain from over analyzing and complicating uncomplicated things.

Welcome to my life.

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A little bit more drama to Beth's life.

Song of the chapter is Torn- Cassadee Pope's cover because I love it and I feel like it goes well with the drama. I know she's from Hey Monday and won The Voice but don't hate me when I say that I found her because of The Voice. I've heard some of Hey Monday's songs and I like them too.

Vote to the right for the drama and for Dani spilling the beans to Reese. Comment below on what you think of the chapter. Fan me because well, I'm me and know of my updates. And last, share this story because just for the heck of it!