âRaegan, just yesterday I was still wrestling with showing you that what you could offer me wasnât pity, but genuine love.
But after last night, after I burst through the door and saw you there, so vulnerable, Iâve been terrified.
Even now, with you here, Iâm still afraidâ¦â Mitchel paused, struggling to steady his voice.
âIâm afraid of what might have happened if I hadnât found you, or if I had been too late⦠I need to tell you I want to be with you, even if your feelings for me are out of pity.
Just stay with me.
Iâll do everything in my power to protect you and our children.
â
Mitchel realized his confession contradicted what he had declared the other day.
That day, he questioned whether her declaration was merely out of pity and made it a point he couldnât accept such sentiment.
Yet, here he was, pleading for her to consider them together, even out of pity.
His overwhelming affection made it possible for him to forsake all else, including his deeply cherished pride.
He exposed his deepest vulnerabilities, completely yielding to Raegan.
âRaegan, it might seem selfish, but Iâm asking you to start anew with me.
â Mitchelâs voice wavered slightly.
Silence filled the air.
Raegan could feel the slight tremble of his body.
She sensed his fear.
What was he afraid of? Was it because her love for him had not been expressed clearly enough, making such a self-assured man doubt himself?
Raeganâs arms encircled Mitchelâs waist, feeling his pronounced shoulder blades through his thin frame, a body marked with scars from his previous efforts to protect her.
The thought alone made her heart wrench painfully.
Mitchel, receiving no immediate reply, gradually loosened his embrace.
He took deep breaths, his exhales slow, striving to keep his voice steady.
âRaegan, donât feel compelled.
If you turn me down, thatâs alright.
Itâs your right, a sign of your autonomy, your freedom to make your own choices, free from anyoneâs influence.
Iâll manage.
â
God knew the agony it took for Mitchel to utter these words.
If he couldnât even glean pity from her, he knew heâd lose all his bravery, the bravery to confront lifeâ¦
As Mitchel was slowly letting go, Raegan, who had been quiet, suddenly lifted her head and held him tightly.
A passionate ki*s landed on his lips.
Her ki*s then trailed down to the distinct Adamâs apple at his throat.
Mitchel tensed, a wave of unrest sweeping through him, as he abruptly caught her hand that was unbuttoning his shirt, his voice rough, as though burnt.
âRaegan, you.
â
Raegan gazed up at him, tears brimming in her eyes.
âMitchel, Iâm even more selfish than you.
Since the beginning of our relationship, Iâve wanted you all to myself.
Iâve envied your past relationships and resented any attention you showed other women.
Back then, you were my entire world, yet I wasnât the only one beside you.
I felt helpless and envious, and divorcing you was how I coped with the broken fragments of my self-respect.
â
Mitchel wanted to explain something, but Raegan silenced him by placing a finger on his Lips.
Raegan shook her head and said, âHiding my feelings and pushing you away time and again was just my way of protecting myself.
Iâm not sure if sorting out our feelings sooner could have saved us some heartache, but itâs not too late now.
â
With sincerity in every word, Raegan confessed, âI want to be with you for the rest of our lives.
This has nothing to do with pity.
I love you.
My love for you simply because youâre the one I desire to spend with for the rest of my life.
â
Mitchel drew her close, wrapping his arms around her tightly as if trying to merge her being into himself.
Such an embrace was the only way he felt sure she was real and not a figment of his imagination.
Overwhelmed, Mitchel trembled and said solemnly, âRaegan, I wish there was a way for you to see into my heart.
Itâs completely filled with you, and youâre there to stay forever.
â
He ki*sed her again.
This ki*s was gentle, deep, filled with unspoken passion.
Their lips and tongues met, sharing warm, tender exchanges and their breaths mingled with soft moans.
Mitchelâs movement was restricted, so after they settled in bed, they lay on their sides, holding each other close and continuing to ki*s.
But as he began to loosen her hospital gown, Raegan suddenly stopped him.