At the dinner, Mehrunisa sat between her uncle Ghazanfar and Aunty Sharmeen who were the only step-elders who stayed after the reading of will. The rest of them were disappointed and had left as soon as Behzad had announced that he was staying, with or without her.
After his announcement, Mehreen Khala also told everyone that she too was staying. While everyone talked cheerfully about the rest of the distant family, Mehrunisa stared into space. The loss of Ahsan Mamo made her feel orphaned even though her father was alive and breathing.
Her father, who had never acted like a 'father'. She would never understand people's obsession with having a male heir. Prophet (S.A.W) had a daughter, so when we raise a daughter and treat her right, we are following a sunnat? But no. Typical desi stupid ass society! What's a male heir.
She didn't glance down the table where 'HE' was sitting. He had the audacity to sit in Mamo's place.Dil tu chah raha hai collar say pakr k issay chair say uthaon. How dare he. Samjhta kya hai khud ko. ( I want to drag him by his collar, out of that chair. Who does he think he is?
She hadn't said YES to the moving in part, he had no complete ownership over it! She eyed the chair for a minute too long. Funny, how easily the spaces get occupied, and people move on. Why was she feeling stuck? Why couldn't she make peace with the fact that Ahsan Mamo was gone for better. She missed him. Her eyes began getting teary as the visuals from the last dinner she had with Mamo danced in front of her eyes.
Mehrunisa looked down at the black cuffs of her sleeves, to avoid getting caught crying. It's felt like yesterday. Yesterday, when she had sat with Mamo and discussed the idea of getting a pet cat. And he had refused initially only to go , "Behzad say pochtay hain...Wese tu who na he karay ga par agr haan kaha usnay tu ...." (Lets ask Behzad. I know that he'd refuse but if he said yes)
"Kya matlab Behzad say pochtay hain. I am a grown up woman. I can get a cat and feed her... Ismain Behzad say kya pochna hai?" ( What do we need Behzad for?")
"Uska khayal?" (His opinion...)
"Mamo, yaar mood kharab naik arain. Usko video call karni hai tu karain main ja rahi hoon kamray main. (Don't spoil my mood. If you want to video call him, go ahead. I am going in my room...)
Funnily, Mamo had called him and he had said yes for the cat. But she still didn't get the cat because , why would she do something just because he approved.
She glanced at him despite telling herself that he wasn't worth it. But it was a lie. For he was worth all the glances.
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Gulzar-e-Hast-o-Bood Na Beganawar Dekh
Hai Dekhne Ki Cheez Isse Bar Bar Dekh
Do not look at the garden of existence like a stranger
It is a thing worth looking at, look at it repeatedly
She noticed his red creeping on his ears as he whispered something in Amina's ears. Mehr hated herself for paying that much attention to notice the red, or for remembering that his ears used to turn red when he was embarrassed. Why did she still remember every small detail about him as if it was Yesterday?
She hated how that sweater clung to him. Why was he wearing a sweater? He was the sweatshirt person; he had said so. Was he wearing it because she had told him once that she found the sweater guys cute? And now he wanted her to hate the sweater guys? Stop overthinking Mehr, he doesn't even remember your birthday. Him remembering your likeness of sweater guys, is far from reality.
Handsome? Not so much! Perfect jaw? Not nearly as sharp as Ibrahim's!
Is sab say kya hota ,hai . Insan ka dil aur kirdar acha hona chahiye.
She thought dismissing her alter ego that was finding his perfect nose and the stubble he had grown recently, insanely attractive! Good-looking.
Good looking? Mehh! Ibrahim is more pretty.
Yes, Mehr you are right. Ibrahim is pretty handsome. But you have hots for Behzad!
Stfu! Behzad isn't even well built like Faseeh.
Yes, Faseeh who makes you uncomfortable. Sure, he is nothing like that.
End of discussion, he is just about my height. Not tall at all! Rejected!
As if you wear heels, Mehr!
HE broke my heart! AND I AM NOT LETTING HIM WALK ALL OVER ME! AGAIN!!!!!
"Mehr", her Khala called pulling her out of her thoughts.
"I know it's very difficult for you.Bhai jaan ko aesa nai karna chahiye tha."(Brother shouldn't have done that.)
"You don't have to stay anywhere. Or get married to him or anyone against your will.Hum sub jantay hain k bhai sahab kya chahtay thay.(We all know what he wanted to...) This old damn haveli could go to charity. Don't worry about it. You know he loved you."
Mehr couldn't help it. Her cheeks got red. It was really embarrassing how all of them knew that her Mamo wanted her to marry the HIM! It lowkey hurt too, that her Mamo thought, she'd not able to get a man unless she came with the $$$$$ ! She wasnt that bad? Or was she.
But Khala I do mind. Unlike you, I am a very sentimental person. I know you aren't attached to this and by saying you don't mind; you are giving me your consent that you wouldn't blame me.But I will. Because this is all I have. A place that always felt like home.
"Shukriya, Alaaa! It means a lot, but I think I'd like to stay. This home reminds me of him.", Mehrunisa whispered.
"I know you miss him a lot. We all do.", Mehreen Khala said as she gave her hand a tight squeeze of reassurance.
Mehr smiled the first genuine smile of the evening. She could feel everyone's eyes on her, and it made herself conscious. She looked at her plate that was still hosting the food that she hadn't touched. She had lost all her appetite. Truth be told there wasn't much to begin with.
She wasn't bothered by the fact that all her female cousins were eyeing him. He always had been quite an eye candy. Actually, he wasn't an eye candy. He was charismatic and flirtatious. The kind of the guy who makes every girl feel wanted. She, on the other hand, had now become the heir and a potential bride for every male in the room. For all Mehr cared, her cousins could have the guys and the wealth, she didn't care.
After dinner everyone waited for chai. Funny how they had gathered mourning for the loss, but it all seemed like someone's wedding party. Areeba and Fatima, her khalazad were busy bickering about something. Amna and Khadija were seated on couch sneaking looks at 'someone' through the glass window. All the men of her Khandan were seated in the drawing room. Just the thought of men, made her think about the will and the consequences of it.
He was wandering out on the terrace. She saw him run his hand through his hair in frustration. Why was he frustrated? He wasn't losing anything! Instead, he was gaining! He wanted her to move in too.SICKO!
She was glad that he hadn't joined them for chai. She was glad for the 'sakoon'' she was getting. But then why would he join them for chai? He wasn't a chai person. Or was he? She didn't know. He had changed!
Things aren't the same when you grow up. She used to enjoy herself immensely despite the 'step treatment' when they were all little. But now no one was behaving naturally. Every word said to her had a motive. Gone were the careless tittle tattles. Now every word she uttered resulted in a complain made against her by her cousins.
Ibrahim walked out of the drawing room. One lock of dark hair, down on his forehead made him look very model-ish. That wasn't even a word... But still. He looked as if he had just done a shot for a magazine. No wonder girls fell for his boyish charms. His dark eyes meet her and he winked at her, making blush crept at the cheeks.
Soon the rest of the male cousins joined the female lot and the elders retired to their room. The room was filled with all sorts of noises, and it reminded her of the days of her childhood. The drawing room, ever so lively on the occasions of Eid.
"Bahir chalain ," Ibrahim asked smiling lazily at her.
Mehr, who was feeling caged, jumped at the opportunity without any second thoughts. "Chalo chalain." She replied. Only after she had said that she realized that how stupid it was. She had accepted the invitation without thinking. She didn't want to go out with Ibrahim, alone! Momani was going to taunt, and Tabassum Khala was going to kill her with the shade.
"Haan chalo bahir chaltay hain Ibrahim! 2 haftay ho gae hain. Thora mauhol change ho ga, Mehr will feel better."(Yes, let's go out. It's been two weeks. Mehr will feel good is different environment.) Muaz bhai who was sitting in the corner commented.
Mehr looked at him incredulously. She hadn't expected this kindness from him. But truth be told, out of all her cousin she had a soft corner for Muaz bhai! He was an introvert, two-word answer kind of guy who spoke as if it costed him money! Nevertheless, she was thankful.
"Who is coming with me?" Behzad asked with his lopsided grin standing beside Ibrahim.
Compared to Ibrahim's nearly 6 frame, Behzad was a tad bit shorter. The realization that he wasn't the best, brought peace to her. It was his eyes. She concluded that held all the charm. Nah, it's the smile and the stubble. Whatever!
"Behzad,yaar front seat is mine!" Amna declared.Yaar??? How? What? When?
"Main bhi..." ( me 2)
"Main bhi...." the voices echoed.
"Itni tu jagah he nai hai gari main..." Fatima Appa declared. Clearly everyone wanted to go with him. But why?Uski gari main koi heeray nai lagaeee ! Mehr wanted to shout. Instead, she followed Ibrahim.
"Ibrahim...Apke gari main tu bohat jagah hai na..." She asked.
"Apke liye tu dil main bhi hai...." He replied and she blushed. For the corner of the eyes, she watched Behzad's indifference. Why was she paying so much attention to him? She wondered. Why was his indifference hurting?I hate him.
She could hear Behzad talking to Amna just behind them. Amna was giggling at Behzad's mimicry of the 'Ghazanfar Uncle'. Mehr wanted to turn and school him on.... on.... anything! Tell him, he is heartless and douche! That, he is a crappy person! That everything she did was justified because he was a crappy friend! And she hated him!
But he was being indifferent! Making it clear to everybody that he didn't have anything to do with her. Or was it all in her head because she still wasn't over the fact that he once was her best friend until he went to away. Seeing him talk to Amna, who made it clear that they talked alot made her heart ache! They never had the closure they deserved.
Baat guzar chuki hai Mehr! You don't need him! He is toxic! Concentrate on others! Itni bhi buri nai hoon tum! There are people who want you. Hold you head up high! Yes ! She had told herself.
Mehr enjoyed the ride. It wasn't silent. Instead, she and Ibrahim had carpooled, singing Taylor Swift's wildest dream. Who would have pegged Ibrahim as Swiftie. Faseeh in the back seat was too busy talking to his girlfriend to join their concert.
By end of night Mehr knew she was going to stay. For two reasons mostly:
1) Ghar say mohabaat bohat the....(She loved that place, she called home)
2) Behzad say nafrat behad the...(She hated Behzad a lot)
Mehr couldn't allow for him to stay, take her room like he had claimed! Maybe he had just said it to rile her up. Maybe he had said it 'ase he'. But it made her decide. She wasn't going to watch him destroy the only thing that was constant in her life. She was going to stay and make those 5 months hell for him! Maybe even make him fall in love with her and then break his heart, like he had broken her's! Yes! Yes!
Lying in her bed later that night she asked herself questions. Questions that she didn't have answers too.
WHY DO I CARE THAT HE ACCEPTED THE FALSA JUICE FROM AMNA?
WHY DO I CARE THAT HE ASKED EVERYBODY BUT HER FOR GOL GAPPY?
WHY DO I CARE IF HE IS SEEING ANYBODY OR NOT?
WHY DO I CARE ABOUT HIM AT ALL?
WHY ARE 10 YEARS NOT ENOUGH TO HATE HIM AND GET OVER THE FRIEND SHIP!
"Main ghar main ek kamra rakhunga, dunga naam tera.....
..........aur usay tanha rakhunga ga..........."
I'll try to upload the whole story jaldi jaldi!!!!!
I'd like to thank for Mehr's aesthetics !!! They are perfeccccccttttttt!!!!
Behzad is a jerk !! I hate you Behzad ! You are inconsistent as a friend ! But still I cant let you go because I've got attachment issues.... (Yeh Mehr nay nai bola yeh mainay bola hai....Mainay bhi bola hai to the Behzad I know)
Khair , isn't Behzad a really good name...heheh I likes it ! The song "We dont talk anymore" , seemed perfect ! There are friends I dont talk to... I miss them alot ! Yesterday it was Champions League Final and we won !!! HALA MADRID !!!! And I missed her, my friend ! She used to think Real Madrid is over rated.
Khair, Jahan raho kush raho ! I still love you and I wish you'd come back and we be friends... (OKAY BOHAT EMO HO GAYA)
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