Chapter 50: Chapter 49

...Rehabilitating...

"Two months? But that's way too long!"

"It's how long the Mistress wants to be there, so it's how long we all have to be there."

"Why can't she just forget you guys here? Or just forget you?"

You whacked his small shoulder. "I am not forgettable, Eren!"

"But why do you have to go? What even is in this Utopia District?" he asked distastefully.

"I don't know, but it'll be the first time I get to leave Shiganshina, so I'm actually pretty excited. And judging by your face, you're clearly not happy for me. Hater."

"I'm not a hater," he grumbled. "I just don't want you to go, okay?"

"Pfft, you'll be fine. You'd still have Armin and Mikasa."

"But that's not enough! I want you here too," he mumbled the last part.

You raised an eyebrow. Hm? You pinched his cheek and he leaned away. "What's this? You like me or something?"

"What?!" A deep red surged in his cheeks. "Hell no!"

"So let me go! It's only two months. It'll be over before you know it."

No matter how much you tried reasoning with him, his skull was too hard a rock to get the point across. You ended up leaving him and his stubborn ass under the grand tree on the hill, with only the patches of bluebells as company.

The next morning, you were waiting in line for the wagon. But when you finally got on, squeezed in between the other orphans, your stomach dropped. An uncomfortable feeling pooled in your stomach, perhaps similar to dread—no, guilt. This isn't right, your guts somehow were telling you, and you didn't know why.

The wagon had barely made it down the road when you jumped off the side, luckily going unnoticed. It disappeared down the valley without you.

Why'd I even do that? you wondered as you dragged your feet the way back to town. It was your one chance to see the big world, yet you let your impulsivity squander it.

When you entered the gates of Shiganshina, you spotted Eren, Mikasa, and Armin building something with a bedsheet and wooden poles by the wall.

Eren was the first to notice you, of course. He dropped a wooden pole, almost letting it land on Armin's feet if it weren't for Mikasa who pulled him away. "Y/n, you didn't leave yet? Did the trip get delayed? Did the Mistress manage to forget you?"

"We've been over this! Nobody can forget me!" you snapped back. "But ... yeah, I'm not going anymore."

"Why?" he asked, baffled. "You were so excited when you told me about it!"

"You think I know? I just did it—I just jumped off the wagon! Without even thinking about it. So believe me, I don't even know why either."

"Does that mean you're staying?!" Before you could reply yes, he squeezed you in a crushing hug so tight he could almost lift your taller self off the ground.

"You're acting like I was never coming back or something." When he finally let go, you addressed the mess on the grass. "What's this about?"

"We were trying to help build a tent for him," said Mikasa, looking exhausted and fed up. "He was planning to camp out for those two months until you got back."

"And it was either this or steal a horse," added Armin.

You turned back to Eren, unimpressed. "You do know that Carla would've dragged you by your ear back home before you even got to stay a night, right?"

He averted his eyes, scratching his still-flushed cheek.

You sighed. "Whatever. I came back, so what's done is done. So are we going to clean this up, or what?"

You gathered up the bundle of fabric, and the others wordlessly followed to help.

"Armin, do you think if I actually stole a horse, I can still catch up to them?"

"Um."

Eren snapped his head to you. "You said you were staying!"

"I'm just wondering!"

"Don't give yourself ideas, Y/n," said Mikasa.

*.

*.

When you awoke, you had an epiphany. Revisiting that moment from your childhood in a dream finally provided an answer for your young self. You hadn't left that wagon just for the kicks of it. It was, and always would be, because you could never bring yourself to just leave those you cared for.

Sunlight peeked through latticed fabric above you. You were in a tent. That's right. I'm not in Marley anymore. I'm in Paradis.

You sat up in the bed and rubbed your eyes. You did find it strange how you'd never really dreamt about memories before. But there was a first time for everything, and frankly, that was the best night's sleep you've ever had in your life.

A soft snore made you look down. At the edge of your bed was Eren's head lying on his arms, asleep. You stroked his cheek gingerly, half-testing if this was your reality. His face was warm, and that meant, yes, this was real. You had him again.

"Psst. Eren."

His head jerked up and bonked against yours.

"Ow!" Your hands flew to your forehead.

He looked aghast with his messy bed hair, stuttering out, "I—I'm so sorry—shit, I forgot that I was—are you okay?" As if he wasn't already dazed enough, you broke out laughing. Watching you smile, hearing you laugh after being deprived of it for so long, made him want to pause this moment in time and just forever live in it.

"Hello to you too, I guess," you said.

He pulled you in for a soul-bearing hug, suddenly feeling like tearing up. He wanted to say something several times, but nothing came out as he held you. There was simply too much to be said that saying nothing seemed like the best choice—cherishing the moment.

You sniffed his hair. "Are you using a different soap?"

Eren blinked his eyes open. "Uh ... No?"

You sniffed again. "Then why do I smell bluebells?"

"Oh!" He shoved an arm under the bed and grabbed a small bouquet of bluebells. "I almost forgot, sorry."

You accepted the gift, bemused and in disbelief. "Where'd you even get this?"

"I bought it before I left. Just in case, you know." His smile faltered as he got a closer look at the flowers. "Yeah, but you see here, it's petals are already sort of crumbling. Which makes sense since it's just been sitting at camp for a few days. I know, it's not so pretty to look at anymore, but don't worry, I'll for sure get you new ones once we get back–"

Nothing quite needed to be said anymore, so you cut him off by connecting your lips to his, which was reciprocated with twice the fervor. You never knew how kiss-starved you were until you could only focus on the movement of his lips, his hands roaming your back, and overall him. Somehow, doing just anything with him, a passionate kiss or just a simple peck, felt equally significant. It felt like no amount of human-skin connection might ever satisfy the closeness you both desired with each other.

Eventually one of you parted in case the other might pass out from suffocation. There was just so much joy and relief in his and your eyes, communicating how much you missed each other, leaving words unsaid for the best.

But you did start up the conversation again. "You grew out your hair." You ran your fingers through his thick, brown locks. "I like it. You kind of look more like Carla now."

He immediately leaned into your touch. "I totally grew it out just so you could do this."

You snorted. "Don't tell me you spent the entire night sitting on the ground."

"What, did you think I was going to leave you? After so long?"

"No, but you could've at least pulled in a chair. Or told me to scoot over or something."

"Actually, I did want to get a chair, but you grabbed my arm so hard and wouldn't let go. Don't you remember?"

The events of last night flood back. The escape from the boat. The dive into the water. The run to the Scouts. Dodging a bullet and beating the two guys near death. Reuniting with your people. Everything after that was more of a blur. They brought you back to camp, shivering because you'd just taken a dip in the freezing seawater. Mikasa helped you into new clothes and trashed the Marleyan uniform. Sasha got food for you from the boys. And then you were fast asleep.

"So, uh," he started, reluctant to say what he would next, "what happened there? In Marley, I mean, for this past year. Was it okay? Were you okay?"

You, too, became reluctant about what to say. "I'm okay now." You slightly regretted your reply when it seemed to unnerve him more.

"What does that mean? Did they do anything to you? Did they hurt you? Mistreat you? Or worse?"

"Hey, hey, Eren," you rested a hand soothingly on his shoulder, "cool down a bit, my god. Look at me—I'm good. I came back in one shape. My brain's in tact. I'm very well."

"But you didn't answer my question," he pressed. "Did they or did they not do anything to you? You have to let me know because if they even tried, I swear I'll be over the ocean in a matter of days and I'll teach them a–"

You cut him off with a kiss, again, to shut him up. It worked like a charm, as he immediately cooled down and focused solely on you. "They've done nothing I can't handle, okay? What's important is that I'm here again, I'm back, and that's it. Everything in the past is unimportant. Happy, now?"

Before he could respond, the tent curtain opened.

"Rise and shine, my dar–oh?" Hange stood at the entrance. "Am I interrupting something here? Pretty sure this was a tent for one. Oh well, sorry for the intrusion! Carry on!"

A second after she left, the tent opened again. Levi entered with a tray of tea. "Tch. If you're going to cling onto her like a slug, might as well make yourself useful."

"Right. Yes, sir." Eren quickly got up to take and set the tray on the table, starting to pour.

You threw Levi an irritated look. Hange followed back in. "Is there any reason you came barging in—without knocking, by the way—and just start ordering my boyfriend around? Go order people around in your tent. Plus, it's the crack of morning."

"First," Levi touched his fist to the fabric, which made no sound, "you can't knock on a tent. Second," he lifted the curtain, "it's the afternoon."

Deciding that arguing against him was useless, you just took the tea Eren gave you.

"Oh, before I forget, think this belongs to you," said Hange, handing you the black leather gloves that miraculously weren't damaged by the seawater.

You wordlessly took it. Then you asked about the journal, which Hange informed you that it had some slightly smudged pages here and there, but it was salvageable. Then Levi mentioned how she stayed up til dawn to read the entire thing like a novel.

"That reminds me. I found this little thing stuck between pages." Hange reached into her coat and dangled out something gold and shimmering. Your eyes grew wide. "You hid it well—the chain didn't even peek out."

She gave it to you, and you just stared at its golden, luminous surface. This isn't supposed to be here. You had left it along with your bag in the ocean. You had not deemed it valuable enough to store it along with your prized journal. So why was it lying right in your palm, against your will, seemingly out of pure luck?

"We've stayed for too long," mumbled Levi to himself. "Eren, when you're done here, we need you for something."

"Huh? For what?"

"Yeah, for what?" you asked apprehensively, unwilling to let him leave yet.

"We're reaching some agreements with the Marleyans. We'd like his expertise, too," said Hange. "But no worries. Take your time. We'll be in the head tent." With that, she and Levi left.

"Expertise?" you asked Eren. "Since when did you become more important than just your titan powers?"

He gave you a flat look. "Rude, but I'll ignore it. I don't know what they need from me, but it's not like I can disobey superiors." He refilled your tea. "What's up with that pendant?"

"It's a time locket." You flipped open the lid, revealing the unmoving, dead arms of the tiny clock. "A gift."

"The Marleyans gave you gifts?"

"No, he wasn't Marleyan."

Eren stiffened. "He?"

"This guy named Willy Tybur. He was nice, I guess. A little bit overwhelming, but decent."

"And ... who is this 'Willy Tybur'?"

You finally glanced up from the locket to see his withering look of skepticism. The corner of your mouth quirked up. "Relax. That guy was near his fifties or something. He was some Eldian lord, and this little thing was a peace offering that belonged to my predecessor."

The threat of jealousy and envy decluttered in his chest. "Good. Think I almost got a heart attack," he said, making you laugh. "What's with those gloves, then? Another gift?"

Your gaze lingered on the gloves sitting atop your covers. "Just something I bought from the market. I thought they could be useful since, you know, I can't exactly interact with you when you're about to transform. This might help break the boundaries a little."

The gloves were a different case than the time locket. One was a gift, even if it was considered valueless to you. But the other, though given to you by somebody else, was a reminder of the worst time of your stay in Marley. In fact, the worst time in your life. If you were asked to speak nothing but the utter truth, you'd answer that you absolutely hated the gloves. You hated anything related to Zeke Jaeger. But what he'd thrust upon you might prove more useful than what was bestowed as a gift to you.

"Y/n, you know we don't need that," he said with a reassuring smile.

"Maybe not, but it can be helpful. You never know."

He caressed your cheek, looking at you so lovingly that you wanted to avert your eyes or hide under the covers or just something uncharacteristically shy. Then he got up. "It is getting a bit late, so I think it's about time we officially get up. The rest of us generally hang by the stables, so feel free to go meet them. It's just by the hill. I'll go see what Commander Hange and Captain Levi need. Would you be fine?"

You stood up and stretched. "I'm always fine."

He'd barely left the tent three steps when he froze in his tracks. Timing was never his best friend because somehow, right after he had left, he remembered something urgent. Words he'd been dying to say for as long as he'd realized it. Three words. And now he finally had the chance.

He swiveled around and reached for the curtains, but when he barely parted it open, he immediately closed it again and fast-walked away, blushing furiously. Although you had your back faced to him, you were in the middle of taking off your shirt.

We have time now, he assured himself as he circled around and went the long way. I'll get my chance.

* . * .

You wholeheartedly enjoyed the walk to the stables by yourself.

You'd gotten so accustomed to the industrialized environment in Liberio that you'd forgotten just how crisp the air you used to breathe was. How everywhere you looked, every step you took, you were surrounded by the beautiful Mother Nature.

Along the way, several Scouts greeted you, and you greeted them back. It genuinely surprised you how many new Scouts there were, considering the infamous reputation of how the majority of the Scout regiment ended.

At the stables, Connie was the first to notice you. Instead of immediately telling the others, he threw into the air a leaf rake. Only when he shouted, "Catch!" did the others turn their heads.

You caught the staff without a problem, twirling it in your hand like you used to do with your blades.

"Yep! She's still got it!"

Once you were in their vicinity, each of them gave you a proper hug, especially Jean since you didn't get the chance to do so last night. "Better not let Eren see that," he joked after.

"You should be resting," said Mikasa, trying to take the rake but you wouldn't let her.

"On the contrary, Levi thinks I rested too much. I'd like to join in on the fun now."

"If you think cleaning up after the horses is fun, be our guest."

"By the way, the entire regiment's been talking about you," said Armin, handing you a bucket. "How you dodged a bullet and beat two Marleyans to a pulp."

"In other words, they think you're badass," said Connie, looking proud. "Fought like your life depended on it. Wish I was there to see."

My life did depend on it. But you didn't tell him that. "You have no idea how good it feels to be back." You dropped a pile of hay into the bucket. "Got my cousins, my friends, and my friend's cousins." You nodded over to the horses.

The rest giggled, proving that the joke hadn't gotten old yet. Jean was halfway annoyed and halfway relieved that you still had your humor, which meant you were okay. "You really know how to make somebody miss you less, you know?"

"My bad, should've stayed in Marley an extra year."

"How was that place?" asked Jean. "Was it actually as advanced as Grisha Jaeger described it to be?"

"Yeah," you said. "Still wasn't as pretty as Paradis."

"Did you meet a lot of people?" asked Connie.

"Some. A lot of old people, actually."

"Did you try new food?" asked Sasha eagerly.

"That? Absolutely. But I'm sure you'll get to try some of the stuff I had. One of the Marleyan prisoners is a pretty damn good chef."

"Did you get to see the sea of fire?"

You froze. You lifted your head. "What did you just say, Armin?"

"You know, the sea of fire? From the book of the outside world? The places we want to venture? Eren and I have the ocean, Mikasa has the land of ice, and you've got the sea of fire? It's been a while—it's okay if you don't remember."

"Oh." You let out a relieved sigh. Then faked a chuckle. "No, no, Marley's just full of trees. Flowers. Plants. Land. No fire. But hey, I did learn they call it 'lava.' They only exist by these mountains called volcanoes."

"So how'd you get back?" he asked, changing the topic because he noticed your slight unease.

"Yeah, the engineer corps were helping build that pathetic boat over there to get you," said Sasha, harmlessly blunt, pointing to the jump of oddly stacked steel by the shore. "But you popped up by yourself. Was it that easy?"

Mikasa nudged her with a sharp glance, but Sasha remained clueless.

"I wouldn't say it was easy," you said. "I'd say I worked with what I had. And then I faked my death."

They all stopped their tasks. "What?!" "You did what?" "That's so cool!" "How the hell?"

You shrugged as if it was no such big thing. "I made a plan. Studied it, did some experiments, tested the waters—literally, and then I executed it. And clearly, it was a success."

"No way," said Connie in awe. "You outsmarted the Marleyans?"

"Oh, no." You chuckled, shaking your head. "God, no. Outsmart them? My plan couldn't have been more flawed—so many things could've gone wrong. But I guess I got lucky. So, no, I didn't outsmart them, but I did manage to play them for fools." At least for the moment.

"How'd you get them to believe it?" asked Armin. "How do you know they won't be after you?"

You dumped the hay in front of a horse. "By the time the people in charge probably found out, I was already on the ship coming here. It doesn't matter if they believe it or not because they have bigger things to worry about right now."

"Did you go missing?" asked Jean. "Did you fake a wound? Fake a funeral? Or what?"

"Nothing fancy. I burnt down the house I was staying in, leaving evidence that I must've died in it. Oh, and believe it or not, my hosts were the Jaegers. As in, Eren's grandparents. Crazy, huh?"

You thought they'd find it amusing as well, but then you scanned their faces. They didn't seem exactly judgmental, but they certainly seemed discomforted.

"You burnt down an old couple's home?" asked Connie aloud. Jean elbowed him hard.

"I don't regret it, if that's what you're all wondering," you said, looking them all in the faces, refusing to be affected. "I did what I had to do. I had one window of opportunity, and I took it. The house was just collateral damage, sadly. But it was also Zeke Jaeger's home." When you spoke his name, anyone with ears could hear the blatant disdain in your voice.

"I also faked my memories," you continued when nobody had the courage to speak up. "That was the only way I could protect my knowledge of Paradis."

"The Marleyans certainly sound gullible," commented Mikasa. "That's good."

"Yeah," agreed Connie. "And who gives a damn if Y/n burnt down a house or not, right?" he rhetorically asked the others. "Those old people probably sucked, too. And don't even get me started on that hairy bastard."

Except they didn't suck. They were really nice. But you didn't tell him that. That'd just further make this situation more awkward than it already was.

"Right," said Jean, nodding. "She got back on her own, and that's all that matters."

"Are you sure they won't be coming after you anytime soon?" asked Armin, adamant about finding out.

"They've got their own wars with outside powers. If they're smart, they won't afford to worry about me." You mindlessly muttered, "They've taken enough of me anyway."

"What was that? I couldn't hear," said Connie, raking some leaves.

"Nothing. Just talking to myself." It wasn't meant to be heard anyway.

Only Sasha, with the best hearing out of anybody, had heard. She couldn't question you in front of the others, as clearly there was something you didn't want to talk about, and she would not put you on the spot. So she moved on to say something she'd been burning to. "I'm sorry."

You turned to her, but before you could ask what she was on about, Connie and Jean joined in with their own apologies.

"It's because of us that you had been captured in the first place," said Connie.

"If we had been more careful, then maybe we could've prevented it," said Jean. "Maybe we could've taken him down, and you wouldn't have had to sacrifice your freedom."

You continued working without giving a response. They glanced at each other, wondering if you even heard. "What does that change?" you asked. "You want my forgiveness or something?"

"Uh ..." Connie threw Sasha and Jean a glance. None of them knew what to say.

"I was still taken. I still stayed in Marley. And guess what—that was my choice. So there's nothing to forgive about because I don't regret it any bit. I appreciate you guys for trying, but please, I don't need it. So stop blaming yourselves. Let's just move on, okay? Leave the past behind."

Eventually, they complied and returned to work. Maybe you were too direct, but you had to get the point across. There was nothing to dwell on anymore. Shit happened, and nothing could change it. What was best was to move on and never talk about those moments of your life again.

. * . *

13th day. 1st month. Y. 850

The blood drawing was not that bad. So far. Think it gave me tiny red scars, but it's needle-sized, so I'm not worried. Grandma Jaeger makes great chicken.

Eren kept flipping to the next pages.

40th day. 2nd month. Y. 850

My arm sort of hurts. That's off topic.

Zeke showed me their progress, so at least they weren't wasting anything. There's bullets and cannons so far. I think it's cool 'cause it can light on fire, but they're also taking blood twice a week now, so it's already annoying me. I'm not so far, so that's good.

When his gaze grazed to the bottom of the page, he found a whole paragraph crossed out of nothing but the repeating words,

...̶E̶r̶e̶n̶ ̶I̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶E̶r̶e̶n̶,̶ ̶I̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶E̶r̶e̶n̶ ̶I̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶E̶r̶e̶n̶ ̶I̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶.̶..

He quickly flipped to the next page, continuing to skim the text one entry after the other.

121st day. 4th month. Y. 850

So, for the first time in my life, I fainted. I would say I'm embarrassed, because someone had to carry me to the hospital, but I'm more annoyed at the Doc. She said it was just some side-effects catching up, but I'm starting to think something's wrong.

I get dizzy when I stand up after sitting down too long, my aim's slightly off. I also threw up the other day. But I'm "special" so I'll be fine.

Grandpa Jaeger just taught me this game called Poker.

182nd day. 6th month. Y.851

Tomorrow I leave for their war with the Mid-East. Finally I'll actually be in some action. But they said I won't be on the field, so at least I know I'll not be dying anytime soon.

I'll be back to write about how their wars work. I'm sure Hange's going to have a blast learning about it.

I'm craving candy right now but the store is pretty far.

When Eren flipped to the very next page, he was slightly confused to see that the date had suddenly skipped forward by months. Below wasn't an entry, just a short list of four things crossed out.

275th day. 9th month. Y. 851

1̶. G̶e̶t̶ o̶u̶t̶ o̶f̶ b̶a̶t̶t̶l̶e̶

2̶. G̶e̶t̶ o̶u̶t̶ o̶f̶ h̶o̶u̶s̶e̶

3̶. G̶e̶t̶ o̶u̶t̶ o̶f̶ L̶i̶b̶e̶r̶i̶o

4̶. G̶e̶t̶ o̶u̶t̶ o̶f̶ M̶a̶r̶l̶e̶y̶

"She told me they didn't do anything to her."

"Are you really surprised she would lie?" asked Levi, sitting from across with Hange. "We all know how she is. She hates when we worry about her."

"How could we not?" He flipped through the pages again. "I mean, look at this shit—her blood? From her veins? They were literally draining the life out of her! And then infusing them to advance their weapons—how could somebody think like that? They're monsters!"

"Dear, quiet down," said Hange. "The walls are thin here. And by walls, it's paper-thin fabric. Calm down a little."

"Calm down?" he hissed, but indeed lowered his volume. "If you wanted me to calm down, you should not have let me fucking read all of that." He got up from his seat. "I need to find her right now–"

"Sit your short-tempered ass down in that chair," ordered Levi. "Or you'll end up on the ground." Eren slumped back down frustratingly. "We didn't call you in here to learn all the details just so that you could go comfort her like a hero as if she's some damsel in distress. No, the Marleyans want to strike a deal."

"What–"

"Which we'll explain in some other time," said Hange, throwing Levi a side glance. "They gave us this, too." She set on the table a wooden box. "The 'Devil's Bullets.' And yes, Y/n's."

Eren scoffed incredulously, glaring at the bland, miniscule thing. "They did all those things to her just for this?" When he reached for it, Levi took it back.

"Didn't you hear Hange? It's infused with the Fritz-Ackerman's blood. Have you forgotten what effect it has on the Founder Titan? On you? Imagine how much worse it could be when mixed with gun powder."

"Then why the hell would they bring it?"

"It's a peace offering," said Hange. "It's the only thing that stands a chance against you. It's the only box they have, that's what they said."

"Commander Hange, you can't possibly be considering taking this deal. Did we not just read the same journal? You can't do that—not after learning what they were doing with her!"

Hange sighed and turned to Levi, unamused. "Why did you have to bring the deal up? Just stick with the journal, goddamn it. Now we have him riled up."

Levi grunted under his breath. "Eren, flip back to the last page she wrote. What's there?"

So he did. "It's just a list. There's nothing here." He flipped to the previous page. "There's a jump in the dates, too. She stopped writing for four months."

"That's the thing. There's nothing about those last four months," said Hange. "The last time she officially wrote was before she went to the war. We think something must've happened there."

Suddenly, his vivid dream of your bloody corpse flashed in his mind. Dread boiled in him. "What do you mean?"

"Look. After she went to that battle, she just stopped writing completely. Perhaps there's nothing left for her to document, but if you notice her previous entries, we know she at least likes to write some nonsense about her days. Then, the next time she writes, it's four months later, and it's just one single list, most likely an escape plan. With no details, so we don't know what happened. We still don't even know how she managed to get back."

"I'll find out. I'll go and ask her–"

"No, you won't," said Levi, holding up a hand. "Do not bring this up to her. Don't even mention that you've read this journal."

"But Captain Levi–"

"What do you think's going to happen when you go tell her that you found out she lied to you? You think she'd just give in and tell you the truth? No—she'd get even more defensive, and then you'd start yelling because that's all you do, and then you both end up fighting." Eren was about to protest, but Levi cut him off. "Don't even dare deny it. I know you just as well as I know her. You both are stubborn as shit."

"All we want is just for you to keep an eye out for her, okay? Like you always do," said Hange. "We are entrusting this information to you so that you can be careful not to trigger anything from her accidentally. Can you do that, please?"

Eren was given no choice but to clamp his mouth shut and nod in silence. Soon after, he was dismissed from the tent.

When he got to the stables, Sasha was chasing you in circles as you waved her sack of potatoes in the air.

He could watch forever how you laugh, have fun, and just overall be yourself, but now he knew things the others didn't. And he couldn't help but wonder, How is she still able to act so freely after everything? Nobody ever gave you enough credit for how strong you were to be able to bottle up all this pain inside and act like nothing was wrong. He felt a new respect for your unshakable spirit, from soldier to soldier.

When you spotted him, you called his name and threw over the sack of potatoes.

Eren caught it and immediately spun on his heel as Sasha savagely chased after him. He passed it to Jean, who passed it to Mikasa, then to Armin, and then it continued landing into the hands of anybody who wasn't poor Sasha, who was sobbing her eyes out, crying, "Just me have them, please! I'll never slack off ever again!"

Eren did feel slightly bad for her, knowing how she physically could not exist being separated from her potatoes, but at least you were happy with the rest of your friends. He couldn't directly comfort you for what he knew, but he could at least preserve this much for you. Happiness. It was what you deserved, and he'd give you as much as he could.

*

I just read my earlier chaps first time in a while. ive forgotten how innocent things used to be back in the chap 20's.

Im gonna try hurrying up editing the next chap so that i can upload on valentines day the 14th, but if im late, happy early valentines!