"everytime i see you, i can't keep my flow of emotions in. the world suddenly is my pathway and you're my destination to be achieved - sulaymaan"
Hafsa was cuddled up on the couch , flipping through the channels on the television .
Everyone had gone to sleep and it was three fifty in the morning . Fajr was an hour away and she had no intention of missing it . Quite reluctantly , she slipped into her abaya and scarf and headed downstairs .
Her summer vacations never were eventful . Neither were her normal days but she had always been busy with her studies to even bother .
The last night , one of her college friend's had notified her about certain additions in their assignments . They already had a lot of projects that required skill and complete attention . And now the matters took a turn for the worse .
Often times she'd find herself drifted into the past - the events that had already been long gone - and dwelled upon it endlessly .
She would wish to fall peacefully into a deep slumber but the ongoing train of thoughts in her head would cause her to abandon her exhaustion and distract herself .
"Hafsa ? Is that you ?"
She immediately sat upright , feeling her body jerk as she focused on sitting properly .
"Gabriel ?"
She softly hummed in recognition . The familiar fog in her head had started to pave way clearing her doubt .
"What are you doing up so late ?"
His eyes drifted back and forth between the television and her .
"I just couldn't sleep ."
She confessed , finding him look down upon her with such an intense look in his eyes that Hafsa had to clear her throat loudly . Slowly he shifted his gaze but still stood right there .
Hafsa didn't have a clear look at him but she still could make him out in a pair of khaki trousers and a sweatshirt from her peripheral vision .
"Would you mind if I joined you ?"
No .
"Yes ."
There was a few moments of uncomfortable silence .
She had her head bent low when she told her answer meekly . It was pretty evident that she wanted him to stay . But it was haraam and that was it .
As his retracing footsteps pounded in her head , she found herself clutching her shawl and pursing her lips to keep her cries in .
It was one of those times in her life when she would recount their forgetten past . Their lives had always been as beautiful as the blossomed flowers that had been nurtured delicately but withered in the end .
But now those flowers had long been gone and in their place was a mess of everything . The reminiscents . The leftovers .
That she was never able to clean up .
The pain had subtly calmed down but the memories never hesitated in making her feel nauseous and aware of her life before .
At the sound of soft approaching steps, her body tensed . Had Gabriel come back again ?
She felt the familiar rush of emotions envelop her . It had been hard but she had managed to refuse him once . She knew she couldn't do it again .
"Hafsa ."
She blinked . That was Sarah .
She turned around , saw her standing there in her robe and turned back around to face the screen which hardly had her attention .
Sarah shuffled beside her on the couch and rested a hand on her knee .
"Gabriel told me you were awake and not looking too well ."
Hafsa remained quiet . The mere touch from Sarah's hand and her emphathic voice was enough to make tears roll down her eyes .
"Oh My God , Hafsa ! Why are you crying ? Are you alright ?"
Sarah engulfed her in a warm hug , patting Hafsa's back while hushing her down .
A few minutes passed as Hafsa continued on shedding tears silently . It was like she had won the long battle she had been fighting alone in the hidden corners of her chest . The war was so exhausting that Hafsa found herself being engulfed into the deep pits of depression and stress than trying to overcome it .
"Are you okay now ?"
Sarah's eyes crinkled in genuine concern .
Hafsa half heartedly nodded . She could see Sarah narrow her eyes .
"Why does it feel like you're lying though ?"
Hafsa smiled weakly . She was lying , but to an extent she felt very good to have finally been able to cry out her emotions .
"Nope , I feel okay . Promise ."
She spoke a little assuredly earning a sigh from Sarah .
A brief silence fell over them before Sarah cleared her throat, drawing attention back towards her .
"Do you , um , maybe wanna talk about it ?"
Hafsa gently smiled .
She was immensely obliged to Sarah's shoulder and help . Hafsa had always acted strong and mighty even though majority of the times she'd suffocate with the mental stress she was under . Her personality called for zero attention and full suspicion and ignorance from anyone around in her college , which meant no one had ever befriended her . Because she was too selfless to rant about it all to Inaya who already suffered from PTSD and Mariam who had recently found her smile . She kept her feelings hidden , hoping for peace soon .
Waiting for someone .
To see through her smiles .
"You don't have to - "
"My family was amazing ." Hafsa started off , facing the wall ahead of them ."They were all perfect and no matter what the case , they'd be always happy and content ."
Sarah watched her for a few seconds , then turned around to face the wall too .
"Did you know that I had another younger sister who was burried alive when she was only months old ?"
Sarah's gasped aloud , her head instantly snapped to meet Hafsa's eyes .
"W- what ?!"
Hafsa shook her head meekly and rested her back against the couch . She resumed staring , this time at the television .
"Our town headman wanted Inaya's hand for marriage . He was fifty two years old . Naturally Baba disagreed . But things hadn't stopped there ."
The bluntness of Hafsa's words had a deep effect on Sarah and it was a few seconds before she could even master the courage to blink .
When Sarah kept on staring at Hafsa with teary eyes , she continued .
"My youngest sister - Gazala was her name - was only two months when she was buried alive . Inaya had witnessed it . The gruesomely inhumane act and my father's violent cries . She'd heard and seen it all . No wonder she suffers from nightmares . Baba was....shot dead too ."
Sarah was dumbstruck . Her mind went blank . She could not believe her ears .
The shock was immense . It took Sarah a few seconds before she found her voice .
"I - I...a...am sorry ."
She spluttered uneasily , her hands shivering .
Hafsa didn't say anything but smiled softly .
"Inaya was always in danger after that. And while we had moved places , things were still not reassuring enough . We had to be on alert at all times . Then came the news that my brother Daanish - who was in the military - was shot dead in a mission of dealing with some terrorists or something ."
Sarah's mouth dropped open .
"I'm sorry should I - "
Hafsa questioned looking at Sarah's paled face .
"Oh no ! Please continue ."
Hafsa smiled thankfully and clasped her hands .
"When Faaris - Daanish's best friend - had come home to deliver my brother's belongings , our life took a weird turn . News had it that Faaris had been assigned along with Daanish on the mission . Which meant that he had returned alive but Daanish was shot dead ." Hafsa paused deeply looking into Sarah's eyes .
"Do you think you can say where I'm heading to ?"
Sarah looked blankly at Hafsa . The pieces of Hafsa's buried life were taking a toll on her and she could barely hear the new words that Hafsa was splurting .
"This has something to do with Inaya doesn't it ?"
Hafsa puckered her lips and nodded encouragingly .
"Yes , and you will be blown away again when I finish this . Faaris was Daanish's best friend and he often narrated our tales to him . I don't know if you know this , but Faaris is an orphan and unlike any other man out there , his only dream is to have a family ."
Sarah's face lightened up as she tilted her head with a hand at her heart .
"Awww ! He's such a great man ."
Hafsa nodded with a toothy smile .
"And he himself was greatly shaken up by Daanish's death . He already held himself accountable for it and Inaya reminding him with hateful remarks wasn't pleasant . He never spoke against her . He never did ."
Sarah smiled widely .
"He loves her truly doesn't he ?"
Hafsa returned the smile .
"He's the most patient person I've ever seen . I hated him to an extent too but my viewpoints changed unbelievably when I peeked into him shedding tears while praying for Inaya . I felt very guilty and that's when it all fell together in my head that mama had always known about his real colours . Probably why she loved Faaris dearly ."
"And while Faaris loved Inaya selflessly , he had never even looked properly at her . It was mama's decision to get him married to Inaya so she could have a solid support by her side . Infact , Faaris opposed this deal massively . He'd literally fallen to his knees begging for her to change her decision ."
Sarah's eyes shone with tears .
"Do we have people like him in this world ?"
Hafsa shook her head with a short laugh .
"He knew Inaya's hatred for him would only intensify with this Marriage . But he agreed in the end . He fought several of those men after that , and when it felt like the situation grew dangerous , he summoned us all to arrange to leave."
Sarah smiled and brushed away the tears from her undereyes .
"And then - "
"Oh wait , wait ! You didn't tell me how Faaris had managed to escape the terrorist attack ?"
Hafsa blinked rapidly while trying to go through whatever she had said . Sarah excitedly jumped in her seat with the point that Hafsa had forgotten to mention .
"Oh yeah , I forgot ! Daanish's gun had gotten stuck while firing . Faaris had tried coping up despite being shot himself . Alas , Daanish suffered severe wounds and passed away . Mama was the only one who knew the true reason behind Daanish's death . Both I and Inaya believed he had a role in his death . Mama never told us about this but I somehow overheard them one day . And ever since then , they've asked me to keep it as a secret ."
Sarah's brows frowned in confusion .
"But if Inaya knows about the truth , wouldn't that be beneficial to both her and Faaris ? I mean , the reason she hates him is because she's unaware of the truth ."
Hafsa nodded vigorously .
"Girl , I know ! I've tried a million times . And each of those times , I was turned down because mama has a very strong belief and....well she could get very scary when we break the rules ."
Sarah gave a short laugh .
"Anyhow , she had two points that worked in her favour . One was that at that time - when all this had happened - she kept everything from Inaya because she knew my sister wouldn't believe her . Mama always loved Faaris and she would naturally conclude that she was making up stories . Second was , we had transferred to this city here and mama thought it would be wise to let the past be buried forever . In her opinion , if Inaya was to be notified of the previous events now , after all these years , she would never be convinced of the facts . There's no solid evidence to support the theory either ."
Sarah took a moment to process all of the points . She shook her head and turned to face Hafsa a few seconds later .
"But still , Hafsa ! Faaris doesn't deserve this . We need to tell Inaya ."
Hafsa knew that .
She had always felt that way.
And she was not going to hold back at this point .
"You know what ? Let's do this ."
Derek had been strolling along the sidewalk adjoined to the house . It was a peaceful and quiet morning after a night of heavy sandstorms and dusty wind . Though he had not devoured much sleep the previous night , he still felt weirdly fresh and awake .
He had even jogged around with Gabriel and they had a much needed 'bro' time .
As they had rounded along the front door of their house , a car was standing at the entrance . A man leaning against the passenger seat with his feet crossed .
"Hello there . Would you like any help here ?"
Derek asked , watching as the man turned around to face them . He had a beard and was dressed in loose clothing that stuck to his muscles and biceps a little .
"I'm waiting for someone an - wait , do you guys live in this house ?"
Derek and Gabriel frowned at each other .
"Yeah we do . How do you know that ?"
The man smiled widely and outstretched his hand .
"I'm Faaris . I don't know if it was brought to your notice but - "
"You're Inaya's husband right ?"
Derek exclaimed quickly taking Faaris' hand and shaking it .
Faaris on the other hand looked quite in shock . He didn't expect Inaya to have told everyone about this . But then again , there was Hafsa there too who could have easily let the fact known .
"How.....did you guys know about that ?"
Derek stepped aside and Gabriel shook Faaris' hand next .
"The girls keep teasing Inaya . So obviously we overhead them ."
Derek said airily waving a hand around .
Faaris had a small laugh .
"I see ."
A brief silence fell over them and Derek cleared his throat .
"Are you here for Inaya ? Come in with us then ."
Derek offered , pointing a thumb at the door .
Faaris smiled wide , shaking his head .
"We're actually going on a date . So I was waiting to pick her up ."
Gabriel smiled .
"Oh that is cool . But do you think you'd be alright waiting here for hours together ?"
Derek and Faaris laughed heartily as Gabriel joined in soon . Faaris knew that he inclined towards the fact that girls or women in general took a long time to get ready . But he had never experienced that and the only lady of his life never made him go through that . Ever .
"Trust me , my wife doesn't take much time ."
Faaris proudly stated fake pulling his collars up .
Gabriel playfully hit Faaris' back .
"Dude , you're sure on that one ? Let's make a bet . If you win , you treat us to dinner or something and vice versa ."
Faaris lips twirled out as he nodded slowly and shrugged .
"Cool then ."
Derek leaned beside Faaris .
"Your gown looks cool btw ."
He pointed at Faaris' thoub . Faaris looked down upon his outfit . He threw his head back and laughed while Gabriel and Derek looked at him incredulously .
"I guess you could call it a gown in English but it's a traditional Saudi Arabian attire . Also called as THOUB ."
Derek rubbed the back of his neck and smiled sheepishly .
"Okay , but that is really cool ."
Gabriel laughed along with Faaris .
"What work do you do Faaris ?"
Gabriel asked , resting his elbow on the car's bonnet and standing on Faaris' other side .
"I work in the national security agency."
Derek's mouth dropped open .
"Is that for serious ?"
Faaris nodded with a small smile .
"Yup that's for sure ."
"Wow , that's awesome !"
Derek cooed , while Gabriel rolled his eyes at him .
"Excuse my brother . He's a little too excited all the time ."
Faaris chuckled and Derek frowned hard at Gabriel .
"Are you working or studying Derek ?"
Faaris asked , his eyes flickering briefly at the door before looking back at Derek .
"I'm in my third year of medicine . Aiming to be a neurologist ."
Faaris let out an impressed whistle , slapping Derek's back .
"Mahn , that's awesome , Ma Shaa Allah ."
Derek smiled widely , dropping his gaze and shifting on a foot .
"Geez , thanks ."
Gabriel and Faaris laughed at how cute Derek was and had started to tease him when the door jerked open with people arguing .
They all diverted their gazes to the door and watched someone being pushed out . And before the lady in abaya could restort back , the door was banged shut .
"You girls are not going to like my revenge . Wait till I come home and douse you all in henna ."
She shouted at the top of her voice and turned abruptly around . When her gaze fell upon the men glancing at her in a rather amused manner , she almost missed the last step and could have fallen face down on the floor .
As she walked with staggering steps towards the men who had large grins on their faces , they all stepped aside so as to give her some space .
"So , quite an argument there , wasn't it ?"
Faaris snorted a remark seeing Inaya play with the sling of the bag on her shoulders .
When she didn't answer and kept her head low , the boys secretly laughed .
After a moment she snapped her head up at Gabriel and glared hard at him .
"I hate your sisters !"
She seethed and looked away with a 'hmph' .
Derek , Gabriel and Faaris exchanged large grins .
"I tried warning you and everyone else at home about them . Don't worry , we're on the same team ."
Gabriel winked and Inaya shook her head .
"So , you guys should get going on !"
Derek intercepted , smiling warmly at Inaya .
"Sure , in Shaa Allah , I'll see you all soon ."
Inaya's eyes crinkled and Faaris offered to open the passenger car door . He helped her get seated and shut the door .
"When am I having my treat then ?"
Faaris excitedly asked watching Gabriel burst into loud laughter with Derek shaking his head .
"Mahn , you've got an amazing wife there ."
« Assalaamualaikum Princesses .
I missed you ALLLLLLLLLLL ! â¤â¤â¤ . Love ya guys so so much .
Now because I consider you all as a part of my family , I wanted to share something that happened with me yesterday .
For starters , I hate my father and there's a good reason behind it . He hardly acknowledges me and we are almost dead to each other .
Please don't judge me . I assure you I'm not evil . I still love him but he keeps hurting me so I end up having double thoughts .
He needed some help and I volunteered though I knew we'd be both alone and it'd be awkward .
I kept praying for his work and Alhumdulillah it went well . When he were returning back home , he turned to face me and said ,"Thank you very much " with a soft smile that actually reached his eyes .
When I tell you I've never been looked upon like that , I swear I've never been . All he ever did was glare .
I was too taken aback and a few tears gathered in my eyes .
I am very weird when people thank me . I LOVE , ABSOLUTELY LOVE , helping out anyone but when the thank you part comes up , I feel like dying . I don't know how to reply back .
Often times I brush off the topic but I couldn't when pa was right beside me .
And I know it was rude but all I answered back with was a "it's no problem at all" .
I still wanted it to be more fancier but I couldn't find any proper word .
1. Hmm....- would be too rude.
2 . Your welcome - again TOO RUDE .
3. My pleasure - too informal
4 . It's no problem - not my sort of reply . But I said it . *Rolls eyes*
5. I'm glad to be of help - I'm too shaken up to say that .
I wanted to share this moment with you all . It felt nice to be smiled upon for the FIRST ever time and I know I will cherish this moment for life . I've always helped him out but never been even looked at afterwards .
Thank you all so much for being a part of my life . â¤â¤â¤ . I truly do love you all with all my being and if at all I could be of any help to any of you , do not hesitate to seek my attention . â¤â¤â¤ .
Jazak'ALLAH for sticking to me . â¤â¤â¤ .
Love ,
Me ;) »