Chapter 15: Chapter 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

For once Alex was glad of the stark emptiness and deafening silence of his flat. As they stepped through the front door he saw Kalila's shoulders visibly relax, the stress diminishing slightly. He led her to the small living room and they sat down on the black leather sofa, her face passive.

Although Alex didn't know what had just happened or who the guy was, he knew it was something that hurt her a lot. She had been putting on a mask for so long and now that it was stripped away from her, he could plainly see the vulnerability underneath. 'Good thing we didn't go back to the party,' he thought.

Party.

Shit. He pulled out his phone and quickly texted Tyler. 'heey ty, not coming back. emergency. will explain 2mrw. sorry!' His best friend would assume something had happened between the two of them thanks to Lacey's matchmaking scheme and Alex knew Tyler wouldn't mind.

"Do you want to stay?"

Kalila looked up. She hadn't been paying attention to her surroundings and was only just aware that she was sitting on Alex's sofa with her head in her hands. How could she go home like this? Her family would know something was up straight away and she didn't want to tell them of her little encounter with Eric, they'd freak out by just a mention of his name.

"If that's okay with you?" she asked, her eyes begging him to agree. She had already told her mum that she would stay over at a friend's house since she lived pretty far away and knew they wouldn't worry.

Alex nodded reassuringly and changed the subject subtly about their art project and Tyler's birthday party. They talked until it was late and they were both too tired to talk anymore. She was glad that out of all the people that were with her today, it had to be Alex. He understood that she didn't want to explain just yet and he had distracted her by talking about random things. For that, she was immensely grateful.

And with that thought in her mind – still wearing her dress lying on Alex's sofa, her legs entangled with his – she fell into a dreamless slumber.

Kalila's eyes squinted open slightly, the slowly appearing sunlight blinding her through the curtains covering the windowpane. 'I don't have curtains though,' she thought in alarm for a minute before the events of the previous evening came back to her suddenly. Sure enough there was Alex lying at the other end of the sofa, his feet intertwined with hers.

She took a moment to study him; the chocolate hair sticking up all over the place, the angles of his jaw cut to perfection and the slightly hallowed eye bags indicating that this was the first time in a while he had some proper sleep. She watched him for a while, still amazed that this boy who previously had been only an incredibly well-known face at school had managed to worm his way into her life. And it wasn't even done with intention, if anything she had been the one to start it. Their lives had been tangled together by fate and she found herself incredibly grateful that she had found him on the roof that day.

He had become a great friend.

Her body was aching under the navy blanket that had been carefully placed on her sleeping form and her face felt greasy with the remains of last night's makeup. She lifted herself up slowly, careful not to wake up the sleeping boy beside her, and crept to the bathroom.

It was only after she had finally washed all the mascara off – it normally never stayed on but obviously decided that today was a good day to sport panda eyes – that she remembered Tyler's birthday. 'Oh God, I made him miss his best friend's birthday party!' she cursed herself wondering how on earth she could have forgotten that last night.

As she opened the almost empty fridge, she decided she would make it up to him by giving him the chance to eat something other than the frozen pizza and pot noodles which he had obviously been living on. Now if only she could remember all those cooking lessons her mother had tried to give her, she could almost hear her mums words inside her head.

'They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach and honey, aint that the truth.'

Alex groaned as he awoke slowly, slightly disorientated and not understanding why he hadn't had a nightmare as usual. It was only when he realised he could smell food cooking – or was it burning? – that he remembered Kalila had ended up staying over. He stood up and rubbed his eyes, walking into the kitchen groggily, his maroon shirt from last night completely creased.

Kalila was standing in front of the stove, which he had never touched before, whispering profanities at it as she prodded the contents of a saucepan on it with a wooden spoon. She still had her dress on but her hair was now tied up and all traces of the makeup washed off. The slightly singed smell was stronger now and he couldn't help smirking at the scene in front of him.

"So what exactly did you burn?"

She yelped at the sudden noise, jumping up in surprise instinctively. Her cheeks flushed slightly as she took in his appearance. 'How can he look like he stepped straight of the covers of a magazine first thing in the morning when I look closer to death than Voldemort?' she thought before realising that he had asked a question.

"It's not burning! Don't insult my incredible cooking skills," she grumbled, swatting him with the pink oven gloves she had found. He seemed to have an awful lot of pink things around the flat for a straight teenage male living by himself.

She threw a glass of water into the pot to help with the burning as he looked around, just noticing that the usually empty surfaces were covered in food for a change. He felt a surge of affection rush through him, she actually had attempted cooking as saying thank you. Other than his dad – his mum hadn't been too good at cooking – and Alice, nobody had done that before.

"Did you try to make food... for me?" he asked in amazement and although the small smile on her face was confirmation, she snorted and turned around.

"Don't get too excited, the food is for me. You're just lucky enough to get some too."

He laughed and proceeded to roll his sleeves up as he washed the few dishes. Together they finished making the chicken pasta – 'breakfast for breakfast is overrated' Alex had claimed – and as they sat down to eat, Kalila decided it was time to talk about the previous night.

"So... I should probably explain about last night," she began, unsure about how to begin. Alex looked up, from the little sweetcorn that stubbornly refused to get on his fork, at her. Her hands wringing together was the only indication that she was nervous and he flashed her a shy smile.

"You don't have to tell me anything if you're not comfortable, it's okay I understand," he commented truthfully.

She blinked. He was right, he did understand. In fact he was probably the only person she knew who would understand. "You're right, you do understand and that's why I'm gonna tell you."

She walked over to the sink to wash her hands, glad of an excuse to be able to compose the emotions showing on her face before she began her story. Other than last night, she hadn't allowed the memories to come back to her in a long time and Alex didn't say a word, waiting until she was ready.

"When I was a kid, before my siblings were born, I was pretty shy and quiet all the time. I was scared to talk to people in school and because of that I had no friends. But it's okay because I had my cousin Natalie."

Alex shivered remembering the words of the guy last night. 'You don't want to end up dead like your whore of a cousin'. Surely this was the cousin mentioned? Kalila turned around and gave him a sad smile before continuing, her voice a little louder with nostalgia.

"Even though she was five years older than me, she never treated me like a kid. I always felt the same age as her and we were pretty much inseparable. She helped me with my confidence and my clothes and with boys and when I had fights with my parents and just everything. She was just always there for me," she paused a little at this, the sadness evident in her eyes although she tried to smile.

"Natalie wanted to be a professional ice-skater, god she was just so good at it. I'd go to the rink with my sketchpad and draw her as she skated, one leg in the air and a huge smile on her face but I could never quite capture the happiness on her face. Nothing ever made her that happy other than Eric. He was the guy from last night. He was her boyfriend, they were so in love and they wanted to get married as soon as they finished university. It would have been amazing. But he... He was so paranoid, always blaming her for stuff she didn't do, I guess he never really trusted her enough? I don't know. And then two years ago, one day..." her voice broke at this point, unable to go on.

Alex smiled softly at her in reassurance. She knew he wouldn't mind if she didn't continue and although she didn't want to relive the memories, he deserved to know. He would understand.

"He called off the engagement, said she was cheating on him. I don't know what really happened, nobody does but I know she wouldn't have cheated on him. One of the first things she taught me as a kid was the importance of loyalty. She was so sad all the time and we tried cheering her up, we really did but... I dunno, nothing seemed to work. And then she took me to that park like she used to when I was little."

Alex's eyes widened, she was talking about the park she took him to when it was snowing and he was having a crap day. He knew there was something odd about her that day, she looked both so happy and so sad to be there. "You don't have to continue if you don't want to," he murmured quietly, as though not to disturb the memories of her past.

Kalila shook her head, her dark hair coming free of the ponytail although she didn't seem to notice that. "It was a nice day and everything seemed normal, I was fifteen and just relieved that Nat seemed normal again that I didn't notice anything weird about her. She was happy, asking about school and how my painting was going and how proud she was of me. And then, when the sun was started to set she told me to go home which I shouldn't have but I did. I should have known something was up, I mean she never would have let me walk home alone. She always had been protective over me and I live quite far from the park. And she... She..."

She felt the space on the sofa dip down slightly as Alex sat next to her, squeezing her hand in comfort. She tried to block out the memories like she had successfully been doing for the past two years but it was no use anymore.

She couldn't keep running.

I'm walking out of the little park so happy; my cousin Natalie seems back to normal ever since things had ended badly with her fiancé. I'm so mad at him, Nat loves Eric so much and she's falling apart without him. But its okay, she'll be okay again, I'm positive she will. Today she was being her usual self again so that has to mean something right? I'm at the gate of the park entrance about to head home so I can finish that Chemistry essay when I hear it. It's not as loud as I would have anticipated and although I've never heard it before – not even in movies – I know with a shiver down my spine exactly what it is.

A gunshot.

Fear spirals onto me, almost drowning me in the panic and my feet don't seem to want to move. I want to tell myself that it's something else – a car engine or something or a sound from someone's TV – but it's no use. I know what it is and I know it came from behind me.

Oh Natalie.

I manage to lift my suddenly heavy legs up and turn around, my hair smacking me in the face as my heart clenches so tightly I feel like I'm about to throw up. But I ignore it and I run, I run back to where I left her.

She's sitting on the swing with her eyes closed, her hair spread out like a halo above her head, a huge smile on her face. If it wasn't for the darkening crimson smears of blood on her chest – directly above her heart – running down her peach t-shirt, I would have thought she was sleeping.

Oh God, no, please no.

I try calling her name, my voice getting louder and louder before I start screaming. I try shaking her awake, begging and pleading. I try praying although I've never been religious but it's no use. Just as her right arm hangs limply to her side still loosely clutching the handgun, my words are useless. I can't do anything.

With a trembling blood stained hand, I pick up my phone and call my mum. She answers and I burst into tears, I cry like I've never cried before as I explain and in that moment I feel my heart break.

And I know nothing will ever fix it because Natalie has always been my world and now, now she's gone and I'm alone.

Alex opened his mouth instinctively, the words 'I'm sorry' sitting on his lips but he closed it again. What use were apologies? He knew better than anyone else that no words could ever bring back the dead. So instead of talking and trying to make her feel better which wouldn't work anyway, he wrapped an arm around her shoulder loosely and didn't say a word.

And just like the previous night when he had stepped in front of her to warn off Eric, she felt safe in his arms. Safe but most of all, she felt understood.