School on Thursday had been tense, as had Friday and then Monday. It was Tuesday now, the last week of school before winter break and Dylan was tired. He had been all week. Chris avoided his eyes, and that hurt, too.
Most things hurt.
He picked further at his food, knowing in full that Felicia was eyeing him with worry.
"Dylan, are you alright?" Landon asked from the opposite side of the table. Dylan hesitated, looked up to Landon, then smiled.
"Yeah, just didn't get that much sleep last night." He looked back down at his food, but not before shooting a glance in the direction of Chris. Their eyes met for just half a second, and what he found there was more heartbreaking than anything else.
Nothing. There was no emotion, and sure, maybe he didn't have any right to wish there was, it was, after all, he who made the decision, but still, when he looked into those dark eyes and found nothing but indifference, it cut deep.
"You gotta sleep, dude," Shawn lectured, "good thing that it's almost winter break. You have any plans?"
"Except for sleeping?" Dylan laughed. "No, I don't have any plans." Shawn huffed.
"Anyone else have plans?"
Cole shook his head. "Thought we might get together at new years?"
"Sounds like a good plan," Landon grinned, "how 'bout the football team? What do you guys say?"
Francis turned toward the soccer captain. "Sounds great!"
"I don't think I can," Chris spoke up, and Dylan couldn't resist raising his eyes toward the football player, but the latter wasn't looking at him, "I'm going to Europe."
A chorus of cheers erupted around the table.
"Damn, Mediterranian girls are fine, good going, dude," Jake smirked, to which Chris did the same.
"Yeah," he breathed. Dylan bit the inside of his cheek. Okay, he thought, shoveling in food into his mouth to get rid of the nausea that washed over him. At least he knew that Chris had moved on, and he didn't have to wonder about that. Already. But he had no right to feel the pain that that brought, did he? Because he was the one who had caused it, essentially, and Chris had all right to move on.
"I'm going to go, uh... Mr. Morgan wanted to ask me about some assignment," Dylan got out, standing from his seat.
Felicia eyed him cautiously and he already knew that she was going to question him about this, but he didn't care. He just had to get out, maybe get some air. Yeah, air was a good idea, he thought as he hurried away from the table. The doors closed with a thud behind him as he rushed through the school, finally getting to the exit and stopped.
"Geez," he breathed. In his pocket, his phone vibrated and he got it out. To no one's surprise, it was a text from Felicia.
'Dylan, are you alright?' It said, with a concerned-looking emoji next to the text.
He took yet another deep breath, the crisp air helping to clear his woozy mind. Before he could reply, though, he got another text.
'Do you want to talk about what happened between the two of you, it seems like you need it.'
He chuckled to himself. Of course, Felicia was right and he should have told her what happened right when it did. But he hadn't.
'Yeah, let's meet up. After school?'
'Nah, let's do it now. Skip class?' Dylan smiled down at his phone.
'Sure, I'm already outside so hurry,' he wrote back and pressed send. Barely two minutes later, Felicia emerged from the same doors that he'd just exited from with a tense smile on her lips. She took a few steps closer, looking quite worried.
"I'll drive," she then stated, making Dylan frown.
"I'm not dying, Felicia, I just needed some air."
"But you look like you're dying and therefore I will drive. Period," she finished, the two of them making their way toward the parking lot. "Mine or your car?"
"Your, I haven't sat in it in like a year," Dylan smiled, following Felicia over to her vehicle.
"Maybe that's been for the best, you know that this isn't exactly the best car in the world."
Dylan grinned, opening the passenger door and got in. "Well, it's hardly the worst."
Felicia did the same, giving Dylan a short shrug. "Maybe not. Anyway, we're going to Lava, right?"
He nodded. Felicia switched gears and backed out of the parking lot.
They drove in silence for the most part while the cool winter air rushed past and sang in the trees. It had started getting darker in the daytime, now that winter was officially here. Not so much so that it was noticeable unless you really thought about it, but still.
Dylan noticed. As he looked out the window, he found himself wishing for summer. This summer was supposed to have been the best one yet. He was going to take his SCUBA license, and hopefully travel some before college started in the fall.
He sighed. This summer was supposed to have been the one where he was in love. But that didn't exactly work out, and he shook his head to get rid of the images of Chris on the beach with him. Felicia glanced toward him, but he didn't meet her eyes.
At least he'd found a college that he was interested in. It wasn't one of the most known ones, certainly not an Ivy League school, but it was close to the east coast in Florida, which, yes, was pretty far away and his parents would probably get a little upset, but it had a great marine biology program and it was where he'd fit in the best. Hopefully. Still, he would apply to at least nine schools, which would mean that his winter break would to the most part be filled with writing essays.
Not many minutes passed before Felicia pulled into a public parking lot. It was about a ten-minute walk from the café and that was for the best, Dylan thought as he took a deep breath of the cool air, feeling it filling his lungs and calm his mind.
"Alright," Felicia said as she passed him, stepping onto the sidewalk, "let's go."
"Let's," Dylan agreed and he, too, hopped onto the sidewalk. Then, as if she'd read his mind earlier in the car, she asked:
"So, how's the college picking going?"
He shrugged, a small smile decorating his lips. "I don't- I think it's going well, I have my eye on some out of state ones but I'm still deciding which ones I like best. What about you, have you decided your major?"
Felicia grinned. "Yeah, I think so."
"Really?" Dylan's face split into a wide grin. "That's amazing!"
"Yeah, I know," she agreed. Then, silence.
"What, are you not going to tell me what it is?" Dylan laughed, to which Felicia only winked. Dylan's jaw dropped.
"I'm just kidding, Dyl... I think it's going to be Criminal Justice."
Now, Dylan's jaw dropped even farther than the first time. He blinked, a smile slowly creeping upon his face. "That's so cool! That's perfect for you. I mean, I'd never thought about it, but that's going to be perfect for you!"
Felicia dropped her head, looking at the ground, but Dylan could tell she was grinning wide, her cheeks tinted a slight red.
"Yeah, yeah, I think it'll fit me good, too. Though I still don't know where."
"Details, details," Dylan made a waving motion in the air, making Felicia laugh.
"That's a pretty important detail, but yeah, sure. I'll figure it out. Now, you have to tell me where your top ones are. And which ones they are, of course."
They had arrived at the café by now, and Felicia pulled the door open and gestured for Dylan to go ahead. As usual, the shop wasn't too busy; there were about a handful of people sitting around the room. Luckily, their usual place wasn't taken and Felicia shrugged off her jacket and hung it over her seat. Dylan then followed suit, taking a seat.
"Yeah, sure, um, I'm applying here in Greenhill. Just in case," he added when Felicia gave him a look, "and then there's one other in state one, but I don't really want to go there either. I was thinking of applying to Brown, and while it's a great school, I have no desire to move to Rhode Island. The top one right now is this smaller college in Florida-"
"Oh! Florida, that's really nice. Nice weather," Felicia cut in, and Dylan nodded.
"Yeah, and it's close to the ocean, so that's a big plus."
"Yeah." Felicia quieted. "Do you want to go order?"
This was a good idea, Dylan thought as he nodded and rose from his seat again, following Felicia over to the counter. It was a good distraction from Chris and everything that had happened. Though, he knew that Felicia interrogating him about that was nothing short of inevitable. At least it was a distraction thus far.
"- and you're having?" Felicia turned to look at him, snapping him back into reality.
"Oh! Uh, I'll just have a... a caramel macchiato, thanks," he smiled sweetly at the barista taking their order, who gave him a smile and a short nod.
"I'll have that right up," he said, still tapping at the register, "that'll be 12,56."
Before Dylan could even open his bag to get his card out, Felicia had handed the barista a ten and a five-dollar bill. "Keep the change," she smiled. The boy, Nicolas, according to his name tag, looked surprised for a split-second, but then he smiled and took the bills.
The two returned to their seats in a corner by the window and Dylan sat down first, sighing in relief.
"Oka-"
"No, Felicia, when we get our coffee," he interrupted, already knowing what she was going to ask just by her serious tone. She nodded and took a seat at the small table.
"How do you think you're going to live, when in college, I mean," Felicia said, her voice now a little distant. "I mean, I would like to know what dorm life is like, but I also do not have the money for it."
"I think I'm going to look for an apartment," Dylan replied, barely even having to think about it, "with a roommate or something to split the cost. I know that mom and dad have some money saved up, but I'm getting a job, too."
"Yeah, yeah of course," Felicia agreed, and just then, Nicolas came by with their coffee. "Thanks."
"No problem," the barista answered with a smile directed a Dylan, before turning on his heel and returned to the back of the café.
"Now, Dylan." He met her eyes and sighed.
"Okay, what do you want to know?"
"I want to know what happened on Saturday," she all but exclaimed. Dylan laughed humorlessly.
"Okay, well, we had a fight on Thursday while out 'tutor session', which hasn't been a tutor session in a while but that's not the point. It was something stupid, just something about college decisions that I had no say in, but I felt the need to comment and get upset and that was dumb," he sighed and took a sip of his drink.
"Anyway, I got to the party and I was planning to apologize but he got there later, as you probably know, and," he swallowed or tried at least, but a lump had formed in the back of his throat making it harder, "when I found him he was already... preoccupied with some cheerleader."
He paused, looking up at his friend who sat quietly and listened, her brows furrowed tight.
"So I left because I didn't want to see that. And then, a few days later, he had the nerve to come to my house and lie straight in my face." He felt that ache that had haunted him for so many days and he sighed again, trying to ignore it.
Felicia didn't say anything for about a minute, but when she did, Dylan was surprised. The only thing she said was:
"And you're sure that he was lying, you didn't see wrong?"
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