Chapter 32: Chapter 32

32. Choices

She had finally been kissed. And not just any nervous kiss, like before, she had been thoroughly-swept of ones feet- kissed! She had thought it so childish to listen to the girls from her high school gush about kissing Dillon Holden but now that she had joined the club she didn't regret it! In fact Dillon had been right to brag about his very kissable lips, but she would never admit that to his face. She had seen the mix between relief and smugness when they'd pulled apart and to that she had only giggled – too entranced in what had just happened to her.

It had been 3 whole days since the kiss and Libra had been thinking about it constantly and inside she was starving for more. She had been surprised how natural it had felt to kiss him and how quickly she had adjusted to him and not at all been afraid to be forward. Finally she could relax internally when it came to her feelings for him; it was obvious there was something going on between them. It was a comfort to know that he was just as confused as she was but had still decided to act on his emotions; it allowed her to become even bolder in her approach toward him.

"Earth to Libra, earth to Libra – are you even listening to what I'm reading?" Sophia nudged her shoulder and Libra snapped back to reality again.

Completely entranced in her thoughts she had forgotten to listen to Sophia's presentation that she was rehearsing. She gave her a shy smile as if to say 'I'm sorry' and nodded for her to continue with her speech but Sophia put her paper down and slumped down on her bed next to Libra.

"I'm sorry Soph, my head is just somewhere else at the moment. I promise to listen better now." She put her arm around her defeated friend and tried to cheer her up.

Sophia had a big presentation coming up this morning and she was nervous as ever. All night Libra had heard her inside her room going over her speech, cursing when it didn't go her way and how she paced back and forth while speaking. Libra had come in about an hour ago to pose as an audience, but she clearly wasn't doing her job.

"It's fine Libra I guess my nerves are just getting the best of me right now. I've been practicing for this all night and all week – I should be fine." Sophia spoke out loud but didn't look at Libra.

"It's all in the attitude! If you remember that it doesn't matter what you say but how you say it, you'll be fine." Libra tried to comfort her again but to no good – Sophia got up and shook her head as she put down the paper inside her bag.

"I'm done rehearsing it now; if I do it anymore I'm afraid I'll forget what I've written down once I get up there." Then she turned to face her friend and crossed her arms over her chest.

Libra knew it was time to be interrogated about Dillon. She had expected it the night they kissed but instead Sophia was passed out on the sofa with her laptop close to sliding down on the floor. To that she had been thankful because her heart had been beating so hard that all she wanted was to have a shower and gush over what had just happened.

"Are you going to tell me why you've been acting so strange the past 3 days? Could this have anything to do with a certain Mr. Holden?" Her smirk was evident but Sophia was trying to conceal it slightly.

This made Libra smile widely and not only because Sophia clearly had figured out herself what was going on, but because this gave her an excuse to play back the kiss in her head. Was there anything left to say but confirm what Sophia had been figuring out? Libra didn't think it was necessary to drag this out any longer.

"He came by 3 days ago to talk about our friendship," she started slowly, "and then without warning he kissed me and I kissed him back. I could barely believe it but yes; I kissed Dillon Holden." She confirmed both happy and once again with surprise in her voice.

Sophia let out a loud squeal and threw herself over her best friend in happiness. Even though Sophia hadn't liked Dillon in the beginning she had also come around to his presence and since he offered Jack a room she'd been spending more time there, too. Libra couldn't help to feel like Sophia, Jack and Dillon had become her little friend-family away from home.

"I can't believe you finally did it! I am so happy for you guys, it took you a while to admit your feelings though. So what does this mean; are you dating him now?"

Dating? They hadn't discussed anything at all but Libra wasn't sure she was ready for that. Everything about her and Dillon was complicated and before that had been sorted out she couldn't commit to a relationship – she wasn't even sure how she'd be in a relationship. He had probably had plenty but this would be her first and it scared her to think about who she'd become – what if she wasn't girlfriend material?

"We haven't talked about anything yet; I think we're taking things slow. Please don't ask him about relationships and such—I'm not sure I could handle him questioning me on this." Libra instructed to her friend and all Sophia did was nod silently.

"What about Todd Smith? He said he had information on Dillon; are you dropping that now?" She asked cautiously.

Now she could no longer bask in the glory of being recently kissed, instead her thoughts recalled what Todd had said and felt heavy as she took in the information. She couldn't imagine that Dillon had anything to do with what happened to her and especially not now – he might have been cruel but not that cruel. But would she ever forgive herself if she didn't find out who it was? She still had some sense of being a caged bird and not being able to fly free unless the person had been revealed and punished and she didn't want to feel that way forever. Dillon could distract her and Dr. Fine could help her work on handling her trauma but the caged feeling wouldn't go away, she knew that with certainty.

I want to find out the truth.

"Do you think he did it? Dillon, I mean. If you could guess would you guess on him?" Libra asked.

Sophia bit her lip and looked up to her left like she did when she was thinking. She sat like that for quite some time before returning her look to Libra and then she shook her head.

"I didn't know him back in high school so I can't say, but the guy I know would never do anything like that. But Libra you know that it doesn't matter who I think did this to you, what matters is that the person who did is revealed – whoever it was."

Libra knew that as much as she cared for Dillon and how badly she wanted to kiss him again didn't matter; she had to find out the truth. If Todd truly had information that could help the police or information that would be important to her she wanted to hear it and then she could decide for herself what she thought. Much of the information was public knowledge since a police report had been filed, so she would have to double check after talking to Todd – but none the less; nothing was getting dropped until the truth had been found out.

"You're right of course. I have to call mom and get her to send me some of the paperwork we got from the police," she hopped of Sophia's bed and headed for the door, "we can bring Jack in on it and play detective tonight."

"That sounds amazing! I'll pick up some donuts on the way back from class today – that's what detectives eat, right?" Sophia said and they shared a quick laugh before Libra closed the door behind her.

Having decided on trusting Todd for now didn't stop her from seeing Dillon of course. He had texted her minutes before she was heading down to the lobby and she had made a quick detour to his floor. Before she knocked on his door she opened her phone and pressed on the text message icon to pull up her conversation with Todd.

"Here goes nothing," she said out loud to herself and then she typed a quick message.

Do you have time to meet? I want to find out more about what you've found.

/Libra

She shivered when the 'delivered' confirmation confirmed that her message had been successfully sent. If Dillon found out that she was meeting up with Todd to talk about him she know he would flip out, but she felt justified because this had happened to her and not him. During this whole time he hadn't spoken once about what he knew about prom night, most likely it was someone from the school and Dillon knew everyone there. When she had settled with herself that she was indeed right she knocked on the door and within seconds Dillon had ripped it open and pulled her inside.

Almost instantly his mouth descended down on hers and she welcomed it gladly. Libra had only kissed him once but it felt like home to kiss him again, just the mere thought of it caused her to smile against his lips. They hadn't even spoken yet but it felt like they'd been saying so much. Dillon walked backwards until he hit the wall behind him and quickly turned Libra around which caused her back to hit the wall quickly. The thud drew a short gasp from Libra's throat before Dillon kissed her again, his hands moving between her face and her waist.

"I've missed you like crazy," he said in between kisses, "Jack isn't home so we can chill on the couch." He said and pulled her toward the living room with a playful tone in his voice.

Libra chuckled as she followed an eager Dillon, "We chill on the couch when Jack is home too, you know."

With one look their mouths were back on each other's as Dillon gently pushed her down on the sofa and climbed on top. She liked this a little bit too much. Her whole body responded so willingly to everything he did that her brain was starting to worry about not catching up to what the rest of her wanted. Libra battled with herself internally and questioned if she was truly ready for what was about to happen.

She wasn't.

Dillon pulled back the second he felt her tense up and propped himself up on his elbow, leaning toward the side, to give her some space. She could tell that he was excited, she could see it too, and if he only knew how excited she was he probably wouldn't have stopped. But she needed to be a hundred percent sure that Dillon wasn't involved before she made a decision she could never take back. Losing her virginity had never been anything too important but she had never met anyone she wanted to lose it to, until now, funny how things turn out.

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to pressure you into anything—"

"You're not pressuring me, it's not about that. I just—I'm not sure I'm ready today and especially not right before class!" She laughed and blushed while thinking of walking into Fiction class with messy hair and swollen lips.

Dillon sat up straight and brought her up with her, still smiling, "You're right of course," he said, "it's not easy to think while I'm around you – so ultimately I'm blaming you." He winked, clearly joking.

But Libra liked that she had an effect on him and she liked how he couldn't truly control himself around her. Never before had she met a guy who looked at her like he did and she could see how that could easily become an addiction. For so long she'd been jealous of the women she read about in some of her books; how they were so wanted by someone or anyone – now it was her turn to be adored.

"Can you swing by after your shift tonight? I thought maybe we could watch a movie tonight – just the two of us." He asked without looking at her.

"That sounds like a—"before she had the chance to confirm his suggestion her phone alerted her that she had a message.

Carefully she fished her phone out of her leather back pack and read the display in private – it was from Todd.

Meet me tonight at Joey's Diner. I'll send directions.

/Todd

Her heart skipped a beat for a second and she drew in too much air, causing her to cough discreetly. Dillon gave her a frowning look before returning to adjusting his trousers. She had a choice to make and she needed to make it now: movie night with Dillon or listen to what Todd had to say.

She cursed inwardly and gave Dillon a guilty look: "I'm sorry but I can't make it tonight, I have to finish my story before tomorrow so I'll be studying my butt off tonight. Maybe we can do it tomorrow night; celebrate my potential good grade." She got up and motioned for him to follow her to his door.

He looked reluctant and she knew he wanted more time with her but she couldn't stay. She needed to get to class and she felt too uncomfortable answering Todd, or even thinking about it, in Dillon's apartment. Libra felt the butterflies inside her taking a rest and being replaced by paranoia. She just had to make sure that Dillon didn't find out about her meeting – then everything would be fine.

She sealed her goodbye to Dillon with a wet kiss before running down the steps to the lobby while texting back to Todd:

Fine. I'll see you there./Libra