41. The Confession
It had been two days since Libra had seen Dillon and she had no clue where he was. Jack told her he'd left the apartment and only left a note saying 'I'll be back soon' and then shut off his phone. Libra hadn't attempted to call or text him, she wasn't sure she wanted to talk to him. Something was bubbling down blow and it was slowly reaching the surface. When Dillon came back she knew that the nature of their new formed relationship would be long gone. Maybe they would go back to being their old selves or perhaps not speak at all anymore.
The thought of him being worried that she will turn him in had crossed her mind. If Dillon was a part of what had happened to her the police should know about it but she wasn't sure she could do it. Turning Dillon in could mean suspension or him getting expelled â she just couldn't do that to him. Slowly she'd begun to understand Dillon's journey to the young man he was today. Perhaps the shock of seeing her here had caused his radical change and his want to prove himself to her. Another dark thought had also found its way to her mind; did he really like her or was it pure sympathy?
"Libra; I've asked you to pass the chips for three minutes, can you please focus?" Sophia asked annoyingly.
Libra shoved the bowl in her lap and took a sip of her drink. It wasn't easy not to think about Dillon and how much she wanted him and it confused her to not know if she should think about him like that. Her friends could see the sadness in her eyes but Sophia and Jack didn't talk much about it. She figured they wanted her to move on from Dillon now that she partially knew the truth â but Libra just couldn't forget these past few months she'd spent with him. Before she'd had so many pre conceived notions about him and he had actually proved her wrong!
"Okay fine," Sophia said and turned off the TV, "let's talk about Dillon since you're going to ruin the whole day because of it."
"I don't want to talk about him, Soph, let's just forgetâ"Libra tried but Sophia wasn't listening. She hated how well her friend knew her.
"âyou do want to talk about him and you know it. You're confused right now, I get that, but he'll be back and when he is you're going to have to talk to him. The truth is so close now Libra; you've worked so hard for this." She said softly.
"Confusion doesn't even begin to explain how I feel like now. Dillon has fucked with my head and I can'tâI don't know what I feel anymore."
"âI think I can help with that!" Suddenly Jack appeared in the hallway and tossed his spare key on the coffee table.
Libra quickly got up and drew her breath as she saw who was with him. Dillon was standing with his head down looking absolutely exhausted. The brief second he looked at her Libra could tell he'd been crying. Jack had a faint smile on his face when he nodded to Sophia to follow him and leave Libra and Dillon alone. Sophia gave her a comforting look before exiting the couch and heading for the front door with Jack.
"I'll be outside if you need me." She said before they closed the door.
Before her stood a young man disheveled and tired and before him stood a young woman feeling more confused than ever. His eyes couldn't bear to look at her and it was in this moment that she knew that Dillon was the true culprit. He had been the one who carried her to that shed, closed the door and left her there. Whatever his intentions were he had caused her a life -long trauma that she'd have to live with for the rest of her life. Slowly she breathed and took two steps toward him which caused him to jerk his head up.
The only thing she could hear now was his heavy defeated breaths as he watched him shake his head over and over again in slow motion. The words didn't seem to want to come out of him and Libra knew she could either help him or deny him any support â he didn't really deserve it. But Libra wasn't the type to turn someone away in time of need, at least not someone she cared about.
So she walked up to him and embraced him tightly, felt his body collapse in her arms and surrender to her touch. "It's okay Dillon, just tell me what happened."
Her soft touches on his back allowed him to finally release the tension in his shoulder and finally looked up at her. Libra thought it was best to sit down for this and led Dillon through the hallway and toward the sofa. She wondered where he ran off to and if he left to go back to North Haven. She told herself that wherever he'd gone it had brought him back here to confess, but it looked like he was going to need time to get there.
"I went back to North Haven yesterday after we talked," Dillon started with a low voice, "I needed to see my family."
"Did it help any?" Libra asked softly and he nodded slowly.
"I finally realized how little my father cares about me, perhaps even my mom, and that all he do is lie to people," Dillon looked straight at Libra now, "I don't want to be like my father, ever, and that's when I knew that no matter what happens between us after this I have to tell you the truth."
Her heart fluttered a little when his eyes briefly landed on her lips. Had they already shared their last kiss and would she never get to feel his arms around him again? The thought of that scared her slightly, but it didn't compare to the fear she felt about finally reaching the end of her journey â the truth was about to be revealed.
"I had been failing some classes in high school and my parents and some of the teachers where on my case. I reached my limit when our principal brought me in and yelled at me about my grades, then he brought up...you. He told me to take a tip or two from you seeing as you were graduating at the top of our year â and I lost it. You had put me in my place, deservingly so, in class that I just saw red when he brought you up." Dillon said.
Libra felt her hand shake but kept quiet to allow him to continue. For a few seconds she remembered all the times she'd corrected Dillon in class or given a silent remark when he tried to act like he knew what he was talking about in class â he usually didn't. Now she understood how provokingly it must've been for him to always be reminded that he was underperforming, that still didn't mean she deserved what she got.
"On prom night I was drunk and angry that I might not be able to graduate and some of my friends were teasing me about what had been said at the principal's office â so when I saw you I couldn't think of anything but punishing you. I didn't know what I was doing but I never intended to leave you there, I neverâ"he tried speaking but suddenly stopped.
Both of them looked at each other wide-eyed when they realized that Dillon truly had confessed. He had admitted to being the one who locked her in that shed and the reasons why. She never thought she'd find the guilty one or that she would end up having feelings for the culprit, but here they were. It felt like the air had been knocked out of her and in the pit of her stomach she felt a sharp pain.
"I-I was in there for five days," Libra finally uttered; still in shock. It was barely a whisper but Dillon heard it, she saw.
"âand I never meant for that to happen! It was supposed to be a prank; I was supposed to open as soon as you woke up, but I was too drunkâmy friends didn't know you were there so they couldn't remind me. I fucked up and by the time I realizedâ"
"âyou didn't want to come forward." Libra filled in.
Dillon sighed and nodded confirming it was true. The realization of this would take a while to take in but at least she knew what had happened. Libra felt herself get up and stand in front of him, only the coffee table separating the two. Right now she was an emotional roller coaster and she'd gone from sad to relief and finally anger. He had been with her when she had gotten her panic attack in the elevator and said nothing. He hadn't come clean then but waited until he'd won her over completely like he knew she wouldn't want to report him then.
"All this time we spent together; was that only toâ"Libra started but stopped when Dillon rushed over to her and cupped her face in her hands.
An electric shockwave was sent through her and it awoke the butterflies in her stomach â which she thought had died down since this confession. For a moment she pretended like Dillon was innocent of this and they were simply two people who liked each other. If only it was true.
"I never did this out of pity, okay? The moment I saw you I felt like I had been given a second chance to actually get to know you and prove that I wasn't a monster. Obviously I didn't expect to feel like this toward you and I think you can agree with me on that, if anything. But the way I feel about you is real." Dillon assured her with a stern voice.
Libra believed him and there was no denying it but the anger that had overtaken her wanted to punish Dillon. I need to tell Dr. Fine, she thought. She needed time to process this because today there was no way she could be any more lenient on him.
She gently wiggled out of his grip and backed away, "I want you to leave right now, please." She said.
"Libra I want you, I wish you couldâ"
"Leave now Dillon. Right now I can't even look at you, no matter what I feel." She said and turned her head to the side to avoid his eyes.
With slump shoulders she saw Dillon leave and as soon as he closed the door she burst into tears.
Had she just lost the one person that made her feel more alive than anything or anyone else?