ALESSA POV
Ginger and I have been very intimate with each other, everything feels perfect except for the fact that I am still engaged to Emman.
We're like a newlywed couple, some people in our school and even our friends are starting to notice that we became extremely close, even my parents. I didn't deny it when they asked me if the rumor that they're hearing is true. I also told them that I will back out from my wedding and be with Ginger no matter what.
I will not let them tear us apart again, I will stand for her this time because my love for her is stronger now. Even though I still don't know if I can bring myself to tell Emman everything.
I sighed heavily at the thought. I'm sitting on the bench while waiting for Maya to come when I saw Janine walking, she didn't see me so I called her because I want to say something.
"Janine" she looked at me with a blank expression on her face. I'm sure she already knows about me and Ginger.
"What?" she asked me flatly while her arms crossed.
"I know you already know that Gin and I got back together" I started.
"Yes, so what's with it?" she's obviously not happy about it.
"Ginger doesn't want to stop seeing you though I told her to" I replied sighing which made her smirk.
"Really? It doesn't feel like it, she's not seeing me and I don't care if she won't" I frowned upon hearing her reply.
Is this for real? I asked mentally.
"So you already moved on from her?" I asked curiously.
"We've talked about it already, you're funny, you're acting like a child who's afraid to lose her favorite toy" she said smirking.
"Ginger is not a toy, I love her" I corrected her.
I don't want to start a fight with her, I just want to stop her from seeing my girlfriend.
"Really? Then prove it" she challenged me.
I raised my brow at her and released a soft laugh afterwards.
"I don't have to prove anything to you" I replied pointing at her.
"Precisely, don't prove it to me, prove it to her. Prove to her that I'm wrong when I said that you are just using her, prove to her that you're worth it and prove to her that she's right when she betrayed her father for you"
I'm lost for words because I don't know what to say to her. I know to myself that I'm not sure if I can really do it, I'm a hypocrite.
She shook her head afterwards before turning around.
"By the way tell Ginger that my father died last night, the last wake will be on the day after tomorrow" She didn't wait for my respond and continued walking away from me.
"Her father died?" I muttered in disbelief. How can I talk to her about leaving my girlfriend when she just lost her father
"I'm really the worst"
â¤ï¸
I don't know if I'm sick but I don't feel good today, I feel like something will happen that I won't like. I decided to skip my class today and so is Ginger because she wants to take care of me.
I'm in the living room, reading something while standing when someone hugged me from my back and started kissing my nape.
I thought it's Ginger because we're the only person inside the house. I turned around to kiss her back but I'm startled to see Emman smiling at me.
"Emman? I thought you will come back after a week?" I asked in disbelief.
"Yeah but I finished everything yesterday so I booked a flight back here immediately, back to you" he replied sweetly before giving me a kiss.
I'm really tensed right now, it's like I am caught while doing a crime.
"Aren't you happy?" He asked frowning. I shook my head immediately and gave him a peck on his lips again to remove his suspicion.
"Of course I'm happy! I've missed you a lot!" I said before hugging him again, I flinched when he carried me.
I know what it means, we will have sex and I'm not yet ready for it, but I can't complain because we're still a couple. I'm hoping that Ginger won't come out of her room because I don't know what she'll do if she sees us like this.
"Dad!" My body tensed up upon hearing her voice. I want to jump off from Emman but he's holding me tight. I know that she's looking at me but I avoided her gaze.
"GG I'll talk to you later, I need to finish an unfinished business" Emman replied before we entered his room.
I didn't feel anything the whole time we're having sex because all I think about is Ginger. I even faked my orgasm just to end what we're doing.
I glanced at the clock, it's already eleven in the evening and Emman is already asleep. I stood up and put on my clothes gently to avoid waking him up.
I headed to Ginger's room and knocked twice but she didn't open the door. I know that she's awake because I can hear the television. I decided to open the door when I noticed that it's not locked.
She's sitting while leaning her back on the headboard, I hate it when she's ignoring me.
"Gin"
"Get out of here, dad might see you" she said flatly while browsing the channels. I sighed and walked closer to her.
"He's asleep and I'm sure he will not be awake until tomorrow" I said before sitting on the side of her bed.
"Of course he won't because you both had a great night" she replied sarcastically.
"I'm surprised too that he came back this early. We both know that he's supposed to come back next week" I said before lying down beside her.
"Tell him the truth about us tomorrow" she replied after a moment of silence.
"No! I can't tell him tomorrow, he just came back and I'm not yet ready" I replied hastily.
"But you promised me that you will tell him when he comes back" she said angrily.
"Yes I said that but he's not supposed to be here until next week, so that means I still have one more week left. Please understand my situation because what you want me to do isn't easy" I pleaded.
She gazed at me intently, she's analyzing if I'm telling the truth or not.
"Okay" I sighed in relief after hearing what she said.
"Be sure to tell him the truth, or I will" she threatened me before turning off the television.
She then lied down and turned her back on me. I smiled before I moved closer to her and hugged her back.
"Thank you" She didn't respond so I positioned on top of her.
"What are you doing? I need to sleep because I have class tomorrow" she said frowning.
"We will sleep after this" I said smiling before I closed the distance between us and gave her a passionate kiss.
â¤ï¸
I'm glad that Ginger trusts me and agreed to give me a week to build my courage to tell Emman about us. I'm praying and hoping that he will understand me, though I know that he will be surely hurt.
I sneak into Ginger's room whenever Emman is already asleep and return to my room before dawn. He's oblivious of what's happening when he's not around and it makes me feel miserable. The days are getting closer but I still don't have the courage to tell him the everything.
"How many promises that I already broke?" I asked myself before releasing a heavy sigh.
The extension that I begged Ginger to give me passed by so fast and it's been two weeks now. She already stopped talking to me and started ignoring me. I can't blame her because it's my fault again for the nth time.
Emman has become a bit different than usual, his full attention is on planning our upcoming wedding. I remember he told me before he went to London that our wedding will happen after I finished my Masteral, and it's getting near.
Our parents are both excited except me and Ginger, I know that she's still hoping that I will tell Emman everything and will cancel my wedding. My heart tells me to do so, but my mind keeps on insisting that it is the right thing to do.
I'm sitting on the couch and drowning myself with lots of thoughts that I didn't notice Emman approaching.
"Earth to AA" he said after snapping his fingers in front of me, he then sat beside me and kissed my left cheek.
"What's eating you?"
Ginger my mind replied.
"Uh...the motif" I lied hastily. His face brightened upon hearing what I said.
"So what color do you like?"
"Violet and Black" I said flatly.
"Wow, I never thought you liked violet?"
I don't like it... it's Ginger's favorite. My mind replied again.
"Oh I thought I told you that before? It's my favorite" I said faking a smile.
It's Ginger's dream motif. Back when we were together, we always talk about our wedding in the future.
"Violet and Black it is" he beamed.
He's very handsome, any woman would kill just to be with him, I once felt proud to myself because he chose me of all the other girls thats been wanting to get his attention.
"Thank you" he said before reaching for my both hands.
"Thank you for what?" I asked her frowning.
"For loving me and accepting my wedding proposal. You don't know how happy I am when you said yes" I just gave him a small smile. I was happy too, way back when I said yes, but now I don't know.
"You don't have to thank me" was all I said. He shook his head before pressing my hands gently.
"I love you so much to the point that I will accept you no matter what you did in the past" I frowned upon hearing his response.
Is he implying something? Does he already know my past? I asked mentally.
"What? You already know my past" I asked casually, trying my best not to show the nervousness that's starting to grow.
"Yes I know..."
"I just want you to know that I love you and nothing you can do to make me love you less" he added before leaning closer to kiss me on my lips.
He's really sweet, I'm so lucky to be loved by him. All he does is to love and protect me.
Can I really hurt him by telling the truth?
"He's willing to love me after all the mistakes that I've done in the past, I can't hurt him because of my selfishness" I mumbled to myself.
"Let's go?" he said pulling me away of my thoughts again. We are schedules today to check the reception area that he chose for our wedding.
"Yeah let's go" I replied after a while before standing up.
I made up my mind. I will marry him, I will marry the person that loves me for what I am and will give me a happy family.
Alessa, this is the right thing to do.
â¥
"Well, well. What is the girl with a father slash daughter affair doing today?" Maya teased me. I glared at her before motioning her to sit down.
"Stop pissing me off"
"Correction! you pissed off yourself. I'm just checking if you're still alive" she said before finally sitting on the chair in front of me.
"I am not dead so don't worry" I replied after rolling my eyes. She turned to me and smirked afterwards.
"Oh you will be soon! If Ginger tells her father what's going on with you two"
"She won't do that" I replied hastily.
I'm very sure of that. Even if she's mad and cursed me to death, she will not dare tell Emman about us because she doesn't want to hurt him.
"Okay, if you both won't tell then I guess it's my duty to do that" she said before standing up. I grabbed her arm immediately and pulled her back to her seat.
"You're out of your mind! Maya stop making me feel so miserable!" I said annoyed.
She shook her head in surrender before releasing a heavy sigh.
"Look at you, last week you're so confident to say that you will tell Emman everything when he comes back because you chose Ginger, but now that he's here, you can't utter a single word. You call that love huh?"
"I know, I'm a coward, but I can't bring myself to hurt him. I'm afraid that if I choose Ginger he will be mad to both of us" I paused to massage my temple.
"It's okay if it's just me because I know that it's completely my fault. I don't want them to fight because of me" I continued. She didn't respond, she's just gazing at me while frowning.
"Is that really the reason? Of course he will be mad, what do you expect? That he'll just smile and say congratulations because you fucked them both?" my eyes widen upon hearing what she said.
"Every sin has its consequences. Alessa you're choosing the easiest way again" she added while shaking her head.
I sighed heavily again before resting my head on the table. She's right, I always escape or choose the easiest way and I don't deserve to be loved by both of them.
I wish I can just disappear from the world so that I don't have to experience this kind of problem.
"I don't know what to do anymore, choosing Ginger is wrong in every aspect but when I'm with her, everything feels right. Choosing Emman is the right thing to do but when I'm with him everything feels wrong" I said as my tears started to form.
â¥
I went straight home after school to cook lunch for Emman, but to my dismay, he already left and the maid told me that he will be back in the afternoon to look for a church together with Ginger.
I made myself a cup of coffee and headed straight to the terrace to breathe some fresh air and to think. I feel like Emman knows something because of the way he acts and sometimes talk. I don't know what I will do if ever he finds out my past.
"Fudge!" I exclaimed in shock when Ginger suddenly appeared.
I didn't see her come home last night. I frowned when I noticed that her eyes are a bit red and she looks sleepy. It's like she just finished drinking.
How can she look for a church with Emman if she's drunk?
She didn't speak and just ignored my presence. She then took my cup of coffee on the table and emptied it in an instant. We're silent for a couple of minutes until I can't take it anymore.
"Emman told me that you will accompany him to look for a suitable church. Thanks for that" I started a conversation but she didn't respond.
"Hey um..."
"Are you doing this on purpose?" she interrupting me from what I'm about to say.
"Doing what?" I asked confused.
"You used my ideal motif for your wedding. Are you still not contented on hurting me? Tell me what else are you planning to do to hurt me more?" I opened my mouth to respond but I can't bring myself to utter a single word.
"Why don't you just push me down here!" she yelled while pointing down the ground.
"I don't know! That's just the first thing that came in my mind when your dad asked me" I replied nervously.
Her eyes are piercing me, it feels like she's going to hurt me any moment in so much anger. I gasped in shock when she suddenly walked closer to grab my face and kissed me hard afterwards.
"I know you like it" she said as her both hand started caressing my breasts. I let out a small moan, my body is starting to betray me again.
"We don't need them, let's get out of here and disappear. Tell dad---" I pushed her away to stop her from what she's doing. She's drunk and I don't like what she's suggesting.
"Tell him what?" I asked while wiping my sore lips.
"Tell him that you're still touching me?" I added as my tears started to fall.
"Yes! because that's what you promised me! You told me that you will tell him about us when he comes back!" I know I promised her that but I didn't expect it to be this hard.
The moment he returned, all the courage that I build up disappeared in an instant. I can't hurt him because all he ever did is to love me. I massaged my temple in so much frustration and confusion that I'm feeling right now.
"I...I thought I can tell him but I can't. Believe me I wanted too, but I can't, I just can't. He didn't do anything wrong to me, I can't just bring myself hurt---" I'm interrupted by a hard slap on my face. She then pushed me hard to the wall which caused me to gasp in pain.
"What about me huh? Did I do anything wrong to you? All I did is to love and understand you but still you left me!" She said with a broken voice.
"And when I finally chose to move on you came after me, telling me all your brilliant lies!" she added as her tears started to pour.
I don't want to see her cry, I love her I swear but I'm too coward to fight for her. I am hurting the two people that I love and I need to stop before it gets worse.
I need to do what's right, and that is marrying Emman.
"What I feel about you is true Gin---" I said before walking closer to her but she pushed me away.
"Enough! I don't want to hear any of your lies! Fuck you for fucking me and fuck myself for begging you to fuck me!" she yelled in anger while pointing her finger on my face.
My face flushed and I froze in my place when I saw the person behind Ginger.
"Emman!" I managed to say after a moment of shock. He's glaring at us and I know that he heard everything. I immediately ran to his direction to calm him.
"Emman let me---" He shoved me out of the way and went straight to Ginger.
He grasped Ginger's shirt and was about to slap her when I grabbed his right arm to stop him. This is the first time that I saw Emman become mad, his face is so red.
"Emman don't! Please, she's your daughter don't hurt her!" I pleaded when he pulled his arm away from my grasp.
"Why did you do this to me? I trusted you! Both of you!" he yelled in anger.
"You said you already moved on from her! Goddamn you! " I covered my mouth in shock upon hearing what he said.
So he already knew?! I don't know what to do right now because it never came to my mind that this moment will happen.
Ginger didn't even look bothered by Emman's anger, she's just staring at him with a blank expression.
"You should thank me dad because now you know her true color, fucking me when you're gone. How convenient" She said smirking.
"Oh my God!" I exclaimed in shock when he slapped her face.
"Emman stop it! It's my fault because I seduced her!" I said before pushing him away from Ginger.
"If there's someone that should be slapped here it's me, I lied to you. Who would have thought that Ginger is your daughter, it's all my fault so please stop. I don't deserve your love for me" I added as my tears started to fall again.
Maybe it's best if I leave them both, I don't have the rights to marry Emman because of what I've done. He released a heavy sigh upon hearing my explanation.
"I will marry you no matter what" Ginger and I frowned at him in confusion.
"No one can make me cancel our wedding, not even you!" he said pointing to Ginger before leaving the terrace.
I wiped my tears and immediately leaned closer to Ginger to check her face.
"Ginger---" I almost lose my balance when she pushed me away.
"Don't touch me" She said coldly before leaving me as well.
â¢Mâ¢Eâ¢Gâ¢Iâ¢Mâ¢Nâ¢Mâ¢