– Chapter 24

‘We can’t be hurt here,’ I tell him. ‘We’re just looking at my memories.’

‘I know,’ he says. ‘But it feels so real. Just like I’m there, all over again.’

‘You’re safe,’ I assure him.

‘Maybe. I’m still dreading what I’m about to see next, though.’

‘I think you’ll like it.’

‘I highly doubt that.’

The helicopter is coming down and my past-self screams out in a foreign tongue.

‘What were those words?’ Collins bellows over the noise. ‘What did you just say?’

‘I just called out to The Arcane Realm,’ I call back. ‘I spoke Arcanian.’

The helicopter crashes before he can ask anything more. Flames charge forwards like a tsunami. Even in my memory, I feel the heat of it. We both shield our eyes from the sheer intensity but then, in a flash, the heat disappears. We lower our arms. The past version of me is lying on the grass. She’s not moving. Her eyes are closed and a trickle of red travels down her nose. The bite on her neck is gushing blood, but we watch, in wonder, as it slowly seals closed.

‘Where are we?’ he asks. ‘Did you materialise somewhere else?’

‘I certainly did. Come on.’

We head towards her, watching as her magic puts her back together again. The sun is shining and there’s not a speck of rain. Perfectly white fluffy clouds glide slowly across the perfectly blue sky and birds tweet their wonderful song as they fly overhead. A few feet away from the past version of myself is Grayson, unconscious and bloody.

‘Where exactly are we?’ Collins asks me, taking in all the beauty that surrounds us. ‘The sun is out. How far away did you go?’

‘We’re exactly where we were,’ I tell him. ‘Only now, we’re in the Arcane Realm. Look. Don’t you recognise these old ruins?’

We are atop a hill in the middle of a valley. The woodland bellow is far denser than it was in the human world, and the stone ruins around us are a little more intact but by no means do they reflect what they once were. The large castle and keep that once housed a grand Coven over eight centuries ago has long been forgotten. Even when the Arcane world was created five hundred years ago, the location of the second Bloodstone was weathered and worn down. I point, past Lilly who still lies bleeding and unconscious, to the second Bloodstone, clear of colour.

‘This is where I went, Collins. My magic pulled me here to safety.’

‘You went to the Arcane Realm?’ he asks in disbelief, still looking at the beauty of the world he has not seen in five hundred years. ‘This is the world as it was five hundred years ago? God. It looks just as it did when I was a child. So much green.’ A herd of horses gallops away in the distance. ‘So much life. How the hell did you get yourself over here after the spell? You should have been utterly spent?’

‘My connection to the Arcane realm is primal. It reacts on its own, reading my mind and my needs and creating magic to fulfil them. When the museum in London was destroyed, when Gabriel’s arm was cut off and I was bleeding to death, I called for my magic to save us. I spoke Arcanian. It did, Collins. It healed Gabriel. It healed me and it sent us to safety. I spoke Arcanian that day, and I created a spell through nothing but pure need and instinct. I did it again, this day. Those words I spoke, they were Arcanian. I screamed for it to save my baby and send us to safety. I am so connected to this world, I can control powers I could never understand.’

‘How do you know this?’

‘Rebecca Hooper told me. She explained it all. That my words can manipulate magic to my will. The more the Descendants die, the stronger our connection to the Arcane Realm becomes. No Arcane Witch has ever had this much power because there has never been so few of our kind alive.’

‘You could do anything. Hell, that’s a lot of power for one person to have.’

‘It’s a type of power that has never been used before,’ I tell him with a shrug. ‘Rebecca said that simply telling it to obey isn’t enough.’ I rest my hand over my heart. ‘It’s a primal connection and it’s a dangerous connection. I can’t control what happens. It’s like the Arcane Realm is a living creature and it’s doing its best to interpret what I need. One day, it could interpret that I need to be removed from the human world for my own protection.’ I gesture to my still form, demonstrating that this is precisely what it did. ‘Or perhaps one day, it could interpret that the world needs to implode. Or that every person alive deserves to die. The Arcane Realm hears my heart. It sees my soul. And it wants to serve them both. I just hope that the next command it hears from deep inside me is from me, and not from my Broken-self.’ I shudder at the idea of such a dark creature holding so much power. If only we had not lost so many, I would not have this unstable and cosmic weapon at my fingertips. One I can’t control. One I can’t understand. One that has a mind of its own, it would seem.

‘It could have sent you to the other side of the country,’ Collins ponders. ‘Or to Portugal! Why did it send you here?’

‘Because,’ I sigh, recalling how Rebecca explained it to me. ‘It knew it needed to protect me until the next stone. It knew that in the human world, I would not survive the year I needed to wait. It knew my baby would not make it. It knows, you see. That’s what Rebecca said. That it knows.’

‘Knows what?’ he asks.

‘Everything. It knows everything and it reacts accordingly. I don’t understand why it does what it does. But it does what it does to fulfil my needs. My commands. Save me. Save my baby. The only way to do that was to bring me here.’

‘If Rebecca told you this at the first Bloodstone, when you saw her after you performed the spell, why didn’t you say anything? Jesus, Lilly! When you were Broken, you could have-’

‘I didn’t know this when I was Broken.’ I wave my hand at my other-self. ‘I didn’t know it when I came here. She told me shortly after I arrived, after I had told her all that had happened.’

‘You weren’t here alone,’ he realises. ‘You and Grayson, you weren’t over here on your own, were you?’

I look at him and can’t help but grin. ‘No. I wasn’t here alone with him. I was here with family.’

‘Rebecca. She’s still here.’ He tilts his head to the rest of the world.

‘Yeah. Rebecca’s still here.’ I let go of his hand and step back, creating a space between us, and I watch him with utter joy as a blur of brunette hair rushes between us. ‘And someone else was here too.’

He watches her run towards me on the floor with an open mouth and huge eyes that immediately start to brim with tears. He covers his mouth in shock, watching as the girl, wearing a light pink dress that hangs to the floor, falls to her knees by my side. She taps my face over and over, calling my name again and again until I stir.

‘Hey, Honey,’ she says as my memory-self opens her eyes. ‘Are you alright? Talk to me. Are you okay? Hey!’

Past-Lilly reaches up and tucks her long hair behind her ear, revealing her wonderful, smiling face.

‘Amara?’ she whispers. Amara eases her up and both girls sit opposite each other. ‘Is that really you?’

‘Better believe it,’ Amara giggles as she starts sobbing with joy, pulling past-me into a huge hug. Their words are inaudible through sobs and laughter. But even better than watching them, is watching Collins.

‘Oh my god…’ he cries, grabbing at his hair. ‘Oh my god! Oh my god!’ He looks at me and points to Amara’s swollen belly. ‘OH MY GOD!’

‘Yeah,’ I chuckle, wiping away my own tears as I relive this moment and watch the two girls giggle and hug and cry and embrace.

‘She’s alive?’ he asks. ‘They’re both alive? Amara… the baby?’

‘Yep. Both of them are very much alive,’ I tell him.

‘How? I saw her… the explosion! She died in my arms. How-’

‘I’ll explain but first, let me show you something else.’

Before I take him away, Rebecca Hooper appears soon after and restrains the still motionless Grayson, giving him a firm kick as she does.

I show him another memory. Amara, Rebecca and I are living in a beautiful stone house. Both Amara’s belly and mine have gotten bigger, and we waddle around together, laughing and joking as we do. I remember worrying about the others in the human world. I remember thinking that I need to return. To help them. To save them. But I was stuck there until the Arcane Realm decided that it was safe for me to return. That it would not let me leave until it deemed its work done. Save me. Save my baby. Well first, Rebecca said, that baby needs to be born. She told me how it works. How the Arcane Realm serves me, but only in its own way. She would say “Humans would claim that God works in mysterious ways. Witches say the Arcane Realm taught God everything she knows”.

‘I know this place,’ Collins gasps, looking around. ‘This was Rebecca’s home in Cornwall, right?’

‘Yeah. She’s spent centuries rebuilding all the houses that were destroyed in the war. When Amara arrived here, Rebecca took her in. She was glad of the company. The entire Arcane Realm is a replica of your world five hundred years ago. A whole world untainted by the pollution of modern life and completely soaked in magic.’ Past Lilly and Amara sit on two soft chairs talking animatedly. I hold the journal in my hands and tell her what’s written in the pages.

‘You had the journal,’ Collins says. ‘We wondered where it had gone.’

‘The journal was in Grayson’s coat pocket, so it came over with us. We spent so long going through it with Rebecca’s help. I learnt so much. It’s still over there, but I know most of what’s in there now. So does Amara, which will come in very handy for you guys when you get over there. But look!’ I elbow him to show Amara, and how she is using Telekinesis to move a pile of logs into a fireplace.

‘That is… she has magic!’ he admires, puffing out his chest with pride. ‘Look at my girl. Floating stuff all over the place.’

With a chuckle, I take him on to another memory. Amara’s belly is huge. She’s pacing up and down, groaning before doubling over and swearing like a sailor. Both Rebecca and my past self are there. My belly is not much smaller than hers. Rebecca and I are both holding Amara up and offering words of encouragement.

‘ARGH! SHUT UP!’ Amara snaps, sweat beading on her brow. ‘Just you wait, Lilly,’ she says, jabbing my past-self in the chest. ‘You have no idea how painful this is-arrrgggghhhHHHHHHH! Fuck! Shit! Bollocks and bloody twatting cock-block!’

‘Whoah…’ Collins sniggers, watching as the usually gentle and sweet Amara spits curse word after curse word as both Rebecca and past-me try not to let her see how we laugh.

‘THIS ISN’T FUNNY!’ Amara bellows, grabbing our hands and burying her face in my past-self’s chest. ‘What if something goes wrong?’

‘Amara,’ my memory self says gently. ‘You are with two Arcane witches. If something bad happens, we’ll heal you, okay?’

Amara takes my hand and lays it flat on her belly.

‘You can still sense the baby?’ she asks fretfully.

‘I can. The baby’s connection to the Arcane realm is still strong. Amara, we won’t let anything bad happen to you or your baby-ARRGGGGGHHH! Christ, woman! You’re gonna break my hand!’

I look at Collins who watches the scene before him as if it’s the best, most beautiful and wondrous thing he’s ever seen in his life.

‘Wanna see what happened next?’ I ask.

He doesn’t look away from Amara as he nods. ‘More than anything in the whole world.’

We’re in a large bedroom with stone floors and a four-poster bed in the centre. The sun has set. Candles flicker all around us and the fire in the hearth burns bright. Amara is lying on the bed on her back. Her hands grip my past self tightly as Rebecca guides her baby out. Collins and I get as close as possible and he sobs as he watches the small, bloody and wrinkly baby emerge and fall into Rebecca’s waiting hands. Amara’s cry of pain stops and almost instantly, a sweet, high pitched whine sounds out.

‘You have a son,’ Rebecca beams, placing the shrieking newborn straight onto Amara’s chest.

All three girls are crying. Joy, relief, pride and love cover each and every one of their faces. Collins is trembling, both inside my memories and out there in the real world. He’s been holding his breath and now as he looks at the woman he loves, holding their wailing son in her arms, he slowly and shakily lets it out.

‘I have a son…’ he whispers, rubbing his palm over his heart. He leans over, reaching out to touch them both. His hand goes straight through them as if they are nothing more than smoke and light. But that doesn’t stop his eyes from sparkling and his mouth from smiling. ‘He’s beautiful. He’s perfect. He’s-’

‘I wish Collins were here,’ Amara says, taking hold of the tiny clenched-up fist as it waves before her and giving it a tender kiss. ‘He is going to be so happy to see you,’ she tells her baby boy. ‘You just wait. You and your daddy are going to have so much fun together when he gets his backside over here!’

‘I’m coming, my loves,’ Collins tells them both. ‘I’m coming. Hold on just a little longer.’

There’s a splash as liquid hits the floor and all eyes in the room fall on my past-self.

‘Was that your waters breaking?’ Collins asks me.

‘Are you kidding?!’ Rebbeca says, her hands still between Amara’s legs as she completes the delivery. ‘You too?’

‘And that’s something you don’t wanna see,’ I tell him, edging him closer to the bed. ‘Take another look, Collins. Because tomorrow night, these two will be there to welcome you home. Them and Callie. My little girl.’

As the girls in the room try to get my past self to sit down, despite her insistence that she is fine and hasn’t had a single contraction yet, Collins and I both look in wonder at Amara and the baby boy held close to her chest.

‘Your baby is in the Arcane realm too?’ he asks.

‘She is. She really did not want to come out,’ I add with a scoff and a roll of the eyes. ‘I was in labour for over fifty hours.’

‘Damn…’

‘Yep.’ I puff out my cheeks, recalling those three long days.

‘A little girl?’ he swoons. ‘Awwww…’

‘Yeah. A beautiful little girl. With ten perfect toes and ten perfect fingers. With Gabriel’s brilliant blue eyes and my temper and inability to sleep.’ I give a small and sad little laugh as I think of her here without me. ‘She’s with Rebecca and Amara. I… I couldn’t bring her back to the human world.’ I lift my eyes to Collins. ‘Even if I wanted to. It’s not safe for her here. It’s not safe for anyone with magic in their blood. I had no choice anyway. The Arcane Realm decided.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean, I put Callie to bed, went to make some tea, and got yanked away from them all.’ I hate that I remember that part now. As soon as I used Gabriel’s power to reclaim my memories, I saw it all. Amara and I having our children and exploring the most beautiful world. Listening to Rebecca’s teachings of magic and power. Living in safety. In freedom. In paradise.

And then being torn away from it all. The Arcane Realm had fulfilled its command. It had saved my baby, and now I had to return to save everyone else.

I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

My sweet Callie.

I never got to say goodbye.

‘What about Grayson?’ Collins asks, snapping me back to our reality. ‘What happened to him while you were over here?’

My memories shift to show Grayson locked in a cell and bound in chains.

‘Something happened when he came over with me,’ I tell him. ‘He got caught up in whatever surge of magic brought me here and it linked us. Rebecca said that because he had come over with me, he had to return with me too. If one tried to leave without the other, it wouldn’t work. I was all up for killing him, but Rebecca said that if I did, I might die too. It was just something we couldn’t risk, so she kept him locked up and held in a forced sleep. When we returned, he did not know where he had been the past year. Like me, he didn’t even know a year had passed.’

‘You couldn’t remember?’ he gasps. ‘Oh god. You must have been terrified!’

‘I woke up at the site of the second stone, naked, with Grayson, no idea where I was or where I’d been or where the baby had gone.’ I rest my hand over my belly, recalling the utter dread I felt when I realised I had no idea where she was. ‘My memories were just gone. Linked to my magic. I no longer had access to my connection to the Arcane Realm, so they were just gone.’ I think back, to the way Rebecca insisted on writing that message on Grayson’s forehead each day. “Run Lilly”. She didn’t know what I would or wouldn’t remember, nor how protected I would be when I returned to the human world. She hoped that message would help. ‘I thought it was the very same day, actually. I only know the truth about the year because I searched for them using Gabriel’s magic for my own.’

We leave Grayson’s dank prison and return to a sunny morning in the long grass. To two young mums cradling their babies in their arms as they rock side to side, talking in a hush so as to not wake them.

‘It’s always so sunny,’ Collins says, looking at the sky. ‘Every memory is drenched in perfect weather.’

‘Because the Arcane Realm is repeating the same day. The day it was created. It hasn’t rained or snowed here in five hundred years. Rebecca longs for a thunderstorm,’ I chuckle. ‘When the final spell is completed, then it will start moving forward. The seasons will change. The plants will wither and die, only to bloom again. Rebecca says that the only things that link this world to ours are the Bloodstones. Whatever happens to them in the human world, happens to them here too. When I completed them, they turned clear. Both here and there. If the third Bloodstone were somehow destroyed in the human world, it would also be destroyed here. But even though it was the same day over and over, it didn’t matter. We weren’t stuck. The children grew. We changed. We were happy.’

‘But how did Amara get over here in the first place?’ Collins asks, looking at her and their son lovingly.

‘The ring.’

‘Ring?’

‘Rebecca Hopper’s wedding ring,’ I clarify, watching the wriggling bundle in my arms with desperate longing. ‘Last time I was in the Arcane Realm, back when I completed the first spell, she placed a spell on the ring. One that would transport the wearer here to safety.’ I turn from the sweet scene before us and look at Collins with tears in my eyes. ‘In death, the wearer of the ring would be transported here. You see, Rebecca wears the same ring. She died wearing it, and when she appeared in the Arcane Realm, it was still on her finger. The jewel in the ring is a Bloodstone. Two Bloodstone rings, linked through the two worlds. One here. One there.’

‘The same as the Bloodstones you use for the spells.’

‘Exactly. I gave the ring to Amara on the day I was supposed to marry Gabriel, thinking that I was simply passing on a family heirloom. Rebecca didn’t tell me what she had done to it or what it was to be used for. We were pretty short of time the first day we met after the first spell. So, when Amara passed away in the mortal realm, she appeared here. Both her and the baby and for that, I am so thankful-’

‘But…’ His brow knits together as he faces me completely. ‘How did she know? Did Rebecca know Amara was going to die? That you would give her the ring?’

A sad smile stretches across my face as I rest my hand on his arm.

‘Maybe. She is Rebecca Hooper, after all. She has the gift of sight.’

‘But… the spell transports the dead. That’s pretty specific. And Rebecca gave it to you. She must have had a reason.’

‘That’s the reason, Collins.’ I look at the two girls, holding their babies. ‘To save Amara. To look after Callie while I am here. It all happens for a reason. Everything does. Even if we don’t understand it at the time. Go on.’ I gently nudge him towards Amara. ‘Take a closer look. Tomorrow, you’ll be seeing them for real.’

Collins turns and goes to Amara and his son. I linger behind, watching but letting him have a moment. It’s as much privacy as I can give, considering this is my head after all.

A hand wraps around my elbow and spins me. I gasp in fright as that’s not even a possibility! These are my memories. No one else is here.

But of course, I’m wrong.

Someone else is here. It’s his connection to the Arcane Realm that I am using to show Collins my memories, so of course he’s here.

Gabriel stands beside me. His hand held fast on my arm and his eyes searching deep into my soul.

‘Gabriel, you’re here,’ I smile, my words barely a whisper. I reach out and take his face in my hands, pulling him down so his lips meet mine, desperate to hold him. To feel him. To have him back.

But he keeps me at arms length and shakes his head.

‘I need you to know.’

‘Know?’ I ask. ‘Know what?’ I don’t like his hardness. His coldness. He’s so matter of fact with barely an ounce of emotion.

‘He didn’t feel it.’

‘I… I don’t understand you. Gabriel-’

‘When I did what I did to Jensen, to your dad, he didn’t feel it.’

I instantly feel dirty as I touch him, the memories of what his hands did fill me with a loathing I wish to God I didn’t feel. I shake my head, not believing him.

‘I heard his screams-’

‘I compelled him to scream. I compelled his body to react to what I was doing.’

‘To thrash? To shake? For him to cry out in pain!’

He nods and steps closer, a hint of desperation in his eyes. ‘His body was under my control. But, so was his mind. I had no control over my actions. I tried to fight Theo’s hold over me. I swear it. But his words are to me as oxygen is to a suffocating man. When he speaks, I must obey. There is no trying to stop myself. There is only obedience and trying to find a loophole so I can limit the damage. He ordered me to kill your father. But he didn’t order me to let him feel it, so I sent his mind somewhere else.’

‘Somewhere else?’

‘Yes.’ He glances to Collins and watches his brother entranced by his waiting family. ‘To a small stream, when he was a younger man, to the afternoon he spent teaching his young daughter to fish.’ Gabriel looks back to me. ‘To him, he was already in heaven. He was with you, living out a life he wished he had lived. One with you in his arms and your childhood free from pain. He was with you, Lilly. He died happily and with no pain. I swear it.’

‘Y-you really did that?’

‘I did.’ He reaches out and caresses the side of my face. ‘There is nothing that I could ever do to fix what I have done, but I tried to limit the damage and I tried every day to protect you. I spent every possible second manipulating the Hunters. I had limited power but when I had the strength, I erased you from their minds. Your face. Your words. I made it so that even if they were looking straight at you, they would not know you or understand you.’ He steps even closer now, a sudden urgency in his features. ‘I have seen all that you have shown Collins.’

‘You saw Callie?’ I can’t help but smile as I say her name, but Gabriel does not smile. He steps closer and narrows his eyes.

‘Yes. I have seen everything. And I have seen you. And there is a lie in your eyes, my beautiful girl.’ His nose rests on mine. God, I long to kiss him. ‘I see the most painful lie in your eyes.’ His eyes blacken and words tumble from his mouth. ‘The ring you gave to Amara, was that ring meant for you? This final spell, is it going to kill you?’

‘No,’ I reply, compelled to by his magic. ‘The spell will not kill me.’ I try to get free but his grip only increases and the sudden anger on his face frightens me to the core. ‘Let go of me, Gabriel.’

‘At the second stone, you said that I had sentenced you to death.’

‘I don’t remember saying that. Please, you’re hurting me.’

‘A ring, close to her heart. An heirloom handed down from mother to child. And finally, the heart of all power.’

He grabs me with both hands and gives me a shake. My yell has Collins on his feet. ‘What is ? What is demanded for the next spell?’

‘HEY!’ Collins calls over. ‘Gabriel, get off-’

As if grabbed by the back of his neck, Collins disappears from this memory. And then the whole memory fades, swirling in a mass of colours and lights, making me dizzy. When it all stops, I know I am no longer in my memory, but Gabriel’s. He’s looking at me. The Broken version of me. I’m resting against the Bloodstone and I see her tell him, Gabriel looks at me. ‘What did you mean?’

‘I. Don’t. Know. I didn’t say it. She did! Ask her!’ I snipe. My attempts to get free become desperate as I feel him dig deeper into my head. He’s looking for answers.

‘STOP LYING!’ he bellows, releasing my arms and instead, slamming his palms on each side of my head. I scream out in agony as he forces his power into my brain, but he doesn’t stop. He doesn’t let me go and the pain is unbearable. My pleas go ignored.

‘COLLINS!’ I scream. ‘GET HIM OFF ME!’

In the real world, Collins pulls me away. I leave Gabriel in that memory of chaos and war as I crash to the floor of his bedroom.

Scrambling away, I never look away from Gabriel who still seems to be out cold.

‘What the fuck was that?’ Collins pants, helping me to my feet. ‘Are you alright?’

I nod, not looking away or even blinking, in case Gabriel decides to attack. His hands and feet are still cuffed to the bed, so even if he did awaken, he wouldn’t be able to get free.

But his mouth. That’s his real weapon. A simple sentence directed to any of us and he will be free.

‘I think we need to gag him,’ I tell Collins with a tremble in my voice. ‘I’m not sure who exactly is in there at the moment. I really think Gabriel needs to be gagged until we can be certain he’s not a threat.’

‘I thought you said he was safe as long as he doesn’t hear Theo?’

‘I think I was wrong. Whoever that was in there with us, it didn’t feel like him. He wasn’t Broken either but he was… shit, he was really fucking angry.’

Collins reaches out and I sink into his chest as he wraps his arms around me. I take the comfort. I sure as hell need it.

‘I’ll gag him. Just to be safe and when he does wake up and if he is back to himself, he’ll understand why we have. And if he wakes up a raging lunatic, then we made the right call.’

As he holds me and as I watch Gabriel sleep, I can’t help but wonder. Will Gabriel ever be his old self? Will I ever get him back? Or is he forever Theo’s puppet? If I kill Theo, will he be okay? Can he ever overcome what was done to him?

There’s a crash as someone drops a plate downstairs.

‘That will be Connor,’ Collins sighs with a roll of his eyes as he lets me go. ‘Honestly. I have never known such a clumsy man in all my life. Go and get something to eat. See what Connor’s broken. I’ll be down after I’ve sorted Gabriel out and we’ll figure out our next steps.’

I head to the door and watch Collins pull out a tie from one of the drawers, ready to muzzle his sleeping brother. I look at Gabriel, unsure as to who or what really lies beneath those sleeping eyes, before leaving the room.