Chapter 11: Leave Your Lover

SLOAN

Kade walks me to the dance floor with his hand pressed lightly on my back; it sends shivers up my spine, even though he’s being so respectful.

~The slight touch is enough.~ I like Kade, or at least, my body does.

He stands in front of me, and we dance in a friendly manner until they slow the tempo. “Leave Your Lover” by Sam Smith starts to play, and I immediately realize that this song is going to be a thing.

The bar is quiet, without a lot of people, and there are only a few other people on the dance floor.

Kade looks at me, and his eyes ask if I’ll dance with him. Instead of making him say it, I take a step toward him.

“Are you sure?” he whispers.

I smile. “Kade, we’re just dancing.”

He laughs nervously, then wraps his arms around my waist. I get butterflies and realize this might be harder than I thought.

This is more than a hug; I haven’t been this close to him for an extended period of time, and my heart is thumping so loudly that I think he can hear it.

He smells so good, and I can’t help myself—I lay my head on his chest, and electricity surges through me.

He starts to sing along with the song.

~Holy shit. What is happening to me? Archie, Archie, Archie. Nope, not working.~

Kade continues to sing in my ear, and I am totally wrapped up in the moment and just let it happen.

When the song ends, I almost don’t want to pull away but I do, and Kade walks me back to the table. The air between us is thick with tension, and it seems like everyone has noticed.

“So, we should get backstage, make sure we’re all set up…,” Sean finally says.

“Yeah, right. Sloan, you’ll be okay?” Kade smiles.

“Sure thing. I’ll see you up there in a while.”

They leave me alone at the table, and I start to feel really guilty about things with Kade. I feel like I’m hurting Kade and not being fair to Archie.

I don’t know what to do but decide to start by trying to at least get on talking terms with Archie again, so I send him a text.

Sloan

Hey, are you ready to talk?

Archie

Not tonight, I’m working late.

Sloan

Okay, well, let me know.

That didn’t go as planned, but at least I tried.

I really need to get my head straight. Can I really throw away the last five years with Archie for a chance with Kade? Would Archie even care? What about the plan?

~Throw the plan out, live for yourself…~

The worst part of all of this is that I don’t know who to talk to.

KADE

After the dance we shared, it was hard to walk away from Sloan, but I knew that I needed to.

When I picked her up tonight, she looked so beautiful that I almost couldn’t believe it. She smells like honey and flowers.

And either someone is looking out for me or playing a cruel joke; that song was heartbreaking, but it made me realize how big my feelings are.

When we get backstage, Sean pulls me aside. “That seemed tense.”

“It was.”

“Good tense?”

“Is anything good anymore? I think we’re both just really confused and don’t know what to do,” I admit.

“Do you still want to do your plan?”

“Yes. One hundred percent.”

“Okay, man. I just hope you’re not setting yourself up to get hurt.”

“She’s worth it.” I walk away and start to work on warming up my voice.

~This is fine, all the best musicians are tormented, right?~

SLOAN

After working it out in my head for a while, I decide to call my mom.

“Hi, honey,” she answers.

“Hi, Mom.”

“I hear music; where are you?”

“I’m at a club, waiting for a band to go on.”

“Sounds fun. Why are you calling me now then?”

“Because I really need to talk to someone who knows me and won’t judge me.”

“Of course, sweetie, what’s wrong?”

“It’s Archie.”

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry for? I didn’t even tell you yet.”

“Okay, tell me…”

“I’m not sure that it’s going to work out. I met someone, and my whole life has flipped. I can’t think straight,” I admit.

“Sloan, it’s not going to work out with Archie, it never was; he doesn’t look at you the right way. We’ve just been waiting for you to figure it out on your own.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Your father and I have seen him change. We rarely see you two together anymore, but when we do, he’s distracted, not present.”

“He has a lot going on.”

“And he always will. Are you happy with the way things are?”

“No.”

“Then, don’t end things with Archie because you met someone, end things with Archie on your own terms because you deserve better.”

“That makes sense. I’m just not sure how to do it. My whole life has been structured around his schedule. Like, what do I even say?”

“That’s up to you, but what I want to know is who you met?”

“Kade Lawson. He’s a musician; I met him at work.”

“Tell me about him.”

“At first, I thought he was insufferable, but it really was just because he knew me so well. He’s helped me see that Archie isn’t treating me right, and we’ve been spending a lot of time together.”

“And you like him?”

“I haven’t admitted it yet, but yes, I think I do. He’s so good looking—like can’t-stop-staring-at-him good looking—and he’s fun and he feeds me and hangs out with me.

“He sees the real me and he likes it. He doesn’t try to cover anything about me up.”

“Has anything happened between you two?”

“No, there have been a lot of really close and confusing moments, but he is being so respectful and said he’s not coming near me until I decide what I want to do about Archie.

“But I just danced with him and, like…~ugh~.”

“Honey, you know what to do; you don’t need me to tell you. I know you have your plan but I think the end goal of your plan is for you to be happy, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then stop planning and do what makes you happy.”

“Thanks, Mom. I should probably go.”

“Okay, well, I love you lots, and it’s going to be okay.”

“I love you too.”

I hang up, down the rest of my drink, and think about what my mom said: ~‘Do what makes you happy.’~

Right now, Kade makes me happy.