Chapter Two: University

Levon answered his cellphone after letting it ring for a few moments, staring at the caller ID with little interest. He brought it to his ear, staring blankly at the ceiling, knowing that the conversation would likely be unpleasant.

"Hello?"

"Levon, what the fuck?" Aisha asked and Levon rolled his eyes. He was sprawled on the bed of his single dorm room, wanting to sink into the mattress and stop existing.

"You'll have to be a bit more specific there, Aish," Levon sighed.

"What the hell happened between you and Todd?" She asked. Levon didn't respond. "Betto said that Todd came back in one of the worst moods he's ever seen. And when Betto asked what was up with him, Todd said that you had flipped out on him for no reason. What happened?"

"I'm pretty sure Betto's exaggerating," Levon told her. "Remember that time in high school when Todd got that shitty grade in English? I think that's still the worst we've seen him. That was crazy."

"Don't try to change the subject."

"What do you want me to say, Aisha?" Levon asked tiredly. "It's Todd and I. We fight. We shout. We bitch about each other for days, and then we move on."

"What was the fight about?" Aisha spoke and Levon couldn't say that he had randomly flipped out because Todd tried to sit with him. That was ridiculous. The whole situation was ridiculous.

"I was just having a bad day," Levon finally said. "I took it out on him. It escalated fast. That's it."

"Well," Aisha sighed. "You should probably call Todd and let him know. He really needs to chill out. He's been keeping Betto up the last two nights playing angry video games."

"That's because he's a child," Levon grunted.

"No, it's because you're being an asshole," Aisha snapped. "Now call him and apologize before I come up there and kick your ass. I'm sick and tired of this high school drama."

She hung up and Levon dropped the phone on his chest. Levon idly wondered if he should get more friends. Anger bubbled in him at Todd's words from their fight. Levon had friends at the University. He hung out often with the two girls that lived on his floor, they thought he was hilarious and did homework with him. He went drinking with a small group on the weekends, he talked to people in all of his classes, he had regular sex- either with Bradly, his bisexual fuck-buddy or with guys he met around. Levon made an effort to be social, outgoing and polite, and he found that people liked him. Todd didn't know a fucking thing.

Levon let out a long, pained sigh before snatching up his phone and going to his contacts. He tapped on Todd's contact Annoying Fucker and listened to the ringing. He was just about ready to accept that Todd wasn't going to answer but the man picked up on the fifth ring.

"Levon," Todd answered, voice hard.

"Todd," Levon responded just as coolly. There was a pause. "Are you busy?"

"I just got back from class," Todd said. "Waiting for Betto to get out of his lab so we can go for supper."

"Nice." Levon wanted to punch himself. Todd just hummed in affirmation. Another pause as Levon tried to find a way to dispel the tension in the call.

"Are you good?" Todd asked when Levon failed to form a sentence, and Levon realized how out of character it was for him to call Todd. There a was a layer of concern just under Todd's indifferent tone, and the protectiveness that seemed ever-present in Todd when they were younger, and Todd was always saving Levon from his problems. Levon's anger seemed to melt away at that familiar sense of security. This was Todd.

"I'm good," Levon spoke finally and a soft smile spread across his lips. "Are you good?"

"I'm good," Todd said gruffly.

"Are we good?" Levon asked and Todd scoffed.

"What we. There is no we. We're not friends."

"Wouldn't want you as a friend anyway," Levon snickered. "You're kind of an asshole."

"I thought you liked assholes." Todd's gay jab made Levon roll his eyes, but he grinned at the humour in Todd's tone. Their argument was settled now.

"In body, not in personality," Levon corrected him.

"Speaking of assholes," Todd mumbled, then louder. "Hey, Betto."

Levon laughed at that and listened to Todd telling Betto he was on the phone and would be done in a few. When Betto's voice was gone, Levon spoke.

"Why did you say I have no friends at my school?"

"Because you don't," Todd said flatly and Levon let his unimpressed silence hang. Todd sighed. "You haven't made any connections. Sure, you have friends there, people to chat with, but you haven't bonded with anyone like you did with Aisha, Cash, or Parker."

"I'm friends with Betto, too," Lev felt the need to grumble.

"No, Betto is my friend. Get your own," Todd snapped and Levon had to laugh but sobered up at what Todd had said.

"There's nothing wrong with not having deep connections. I'm not miserable," Levon told him.

"You're a person that needs those deep connections," Todd said. "You may be a shallow person, but you like to be around deep connections. People that you care about. I think it's because of how lonely you were as a child."

"You really suck at not being a prick," Levon told him and Todd snorted a short laugh.

"Think about what I'm saying, but it's all up to you. No one's allowed to tell you how to live your life. Even if you make shitty life choices, it's up to you," Todd said, smothering any of his sensitivity to insults. "I'm going to go get wings, so bye."

"Tell Betto I said 'hi'."

"Fuck off." And Todd hung up.

Levon stayed silent in his room for several minutes after the call. He wasn't sure if he was happier being pissed off and hating Todd, or being in good terms and longing for him. Both were rather unpleasant feelings.

Levon rang Aisha up then, deciding to let her know he'd done what she asked so she would stop being up his ass and mad about it. Levon was tired of her short answering his texts.

"Did you two make up?" Aisha said rather than greeting him and Levon sighed.

"We're still not friends."

"I asked you to make up with him, not perform miracles," Aisha snorted. Levon let a short silence settle between them, but it was comfortable, not tense as with Todd.

"Hey, Aisha," Levon asked and she gave a hum to let him know she was listening. "Have you ever been in love?"

"What the fuck?" Aisha burst out laughing and Levon threw an arm over his eyes, knowing that had been a dumb question but not being able to stop it. Of all his friends, Levon was closest with Aisha, then Cash and then probably Parker. "Why would you ask me that? Do you know who I am?"

"Sorry, it was a stupid thought," Levon said. Aisha liked to have fun, date around and experience everything the world of sex had to offer to her. She hated the thought of being tied down with commitment as much as Levon hated bugs.

"Even if I ever did fall in love, you know you'd be the first to know," she said then, a teasing smile in her voice.

"Yeah, whatever," Levon sighed.

"You'd tell me if you ever fell in love, too, won't you?" Aisha asked, a slip of suspicion in her voice, noting how weird his question was. Levon was having a weird day.

"Of course."

"Okay," Aisha seemed content. "That's a requirement to being best friends. We have to share all the juicy details of our miserable lives."

"Hey, Aisha?"

"Yes, Levon."

"I'm pretty sure I'm in love."

Dead silence on the other line. Levon smirked in amusement and rolled over to bury his face in his pillow. Bet Aisha wasn't expecting that, Levon thought. He kind of felt like puking again, now that the words were swimming around him.

"You're pretty sure?" Aisha finally said.

"I'm like ninety-five percent sure."

"Who the fuck!" Aisha exploded and Levon let out a loud laugh. "Who are you in love with? This is crazy!"

There were some loud exclamations in the background and I figured it was the people Aisha was sharing her apartment with, but Aisha shushed them all and presumably sprinted into another room.

"Is it that Bradly guy you've been fucking? Or is it some other guy? Do I know him?"

"It's not Bradly," Levon told her. "You know Bradly is as obsessed with being a free spirit as you are." Bradly was a really nice guy. He and Levon partook in casual sex when one of them needed to let off steam. Brad liked to call it scratching an itch.

"Two weeks ago and you were right on board with us," Aisha told him. "So don't even pull that card Mr. Grindr account."

"I barely ever used that," Levon mumbled defensively.

"Not the point! Who?"

"Todd."

Another stunned silence. It hurt to say out loud. It felt much more real than his talk with Cash. There was a knock on the room door and Levon lifted his head to look at it.

"Hey, there's someone at the door, so I'm going to let you go now," Levon said to Aisha.

"What the fuck, Levon?" Aisha whispered. "You're in love with Todd?"

"Keep it to yourself for now," Levon warned her and got up and opened the door. "Bye."

"I fucking knew it."

"Hey," Bradly smiled once Levon hung up. He was an attractive guy. Warm brown skin, dark buzz, and defined body. Dimpled cheeks, white teeth, and a startlingly high GPA.

"Hey yourself." Bradly came into the room and dropped into the desk chair while Levon fell back onto his bed. Bradly arched a thick brow at him.

"You good? You're kinda mopey today."

"I'm thinking that next year I'm going to rent an apartment. Don't want to stay in dorms anymore."

"Well, I'm not moving in with you," Bradly grinned. "I like my RA job too much."

"That's fair," Levon nodded. Then he peered over at Bradly. "Did you need something or were you just here to chat?"

"I'm going bar hopping with a couple friends of mine later tonight. Wanted to know if you wanted to join me," Bradly met his gaze with a sultry look that was quite ridiculously attractive. "If we can't land someone attractive we can be each other's plan B."

Levon gave him a long look that moved into the uncomfortable zone, and Brad sat back in the chair, unsure of what to make of Levon's attitude. Concern swept onto his features.

"You okay, man?" He asked. "If you're not in the mood we can hang out some other time."

"I'd like to hang out," Levon said, eyes sliding closed and thinking off Todd's words. "I think we could be pretty good friends if I put in a bit more effort."

Bradly laughed, slightly awkward. "Okay? I'm down to be besties."

"I'm probably going to stop having sex with you though," Levon sighed, then his eyes slid open to look at Bradly apologetically. "It was great, but I don't think I can do it anymore."

"It's fine, Lev," Bradly leaned forward so his elbows rested on his knees and he frowned. "Do you want me to stay in with you tonight? We could watch a movie?"

"No need," Levon waved him off with a thankful smile. "And don't worry about me. I've just come to a troubling realization."

"That sounds ominous."

"I'm in love with Todd." Levon found it easier to say the third time, his stomach twisted uncomfortably, but maybe in a good way. His heart felt too tight in his chest.

"That's what's got you so butthurt?" Bradly busted out laughing and Levon frowned at him. Bradly knew about Levon's relationship with Todd. They had been friends for over a year and Levon spent quite a bit of time bitching about the newfound object of his affections.

"Why do you say it like that?"

"Levon, I can tell you right now that you've been in love with that guy for as long as I've known you."

"I have not," Levon argued. If that had been the case he would have known. Probably. "I've literally been struggling not to hate his dumbass since seventh grade."

"I assumed you knew you were in love with him but just never brought it up because he was straight," Bradly chuckled seeming all too amused by the situation. "Is he straight?"

"No clue," Levon rolled onto his stomach, holding his upper body up on his forearms to talk to Bradly face to face. "He's never told me."

"Well, find that out and we can see if you have a chance with him," Bradly smiled and Levon tilted his head.

"You think I have a chance with him?"

"Why the hell not?" Bradly said, his eyes twinkled. "You're not friends. What have you got to lose?"

Bradly ended up staying right up until he had to leave with his other friends. They talked the entire time, moving from the Todd problem onto hilarious stories of childhood that had them crying with laughter, and even a shocking story about Bradly once being in love with a Korean exchange student when he was in high school. But she had moved back to her home country and he had never seen her again. Levon felt like he had actually bonded with Brad in ways they never had through sex.

It was close to one in the morning and Levon had finished all the work he could for the day. He laid on his bed once more with his thoughts on Todd.

Todd was an angry child, but he had every right to be. Levon remembered, a night so long ago, the two of them seated in Todd's room on his bed. Todd's mother had left on another trip with her new husband. A habit she took up when Todd was thirteen- leaving for weeks at a time. When she was home, she and Todd would have fights so bad that Todd would walk all the way to Levon's house in the small hours of the morning. Todd came to Levon's house a lot, always trying to be away from his mother.

That night, his mother was gone, and they were on the bed. Todd had spoken of his father for the first time that night. His father was a pedophile. Todd was quick to tell Levon that his father never touched him. But with sad eyes, he told Levon that his father had hurt several other kids. He didn't give Levon the details, but he told Levon he had caught his father in the act and later had to go to his uncle for help because his mother didn't believe him and his father had tried to force him into silence.

He told Levon he hated his father. He hated his mother. He hated all the children at his old school that bullied him because his father touched him no matter how many time he told them that his father never did. He hated the people that gave his mother so much grief at work that they had to move. He hated his stepfather because he was a genuinely nice man who loved Todd's mother and was always mad at Todd for fighting with her.

Levon laid his head on Todd's shoulder, trying to comfort him but trying not to cross Todd when Todd was opening up.

"I hate you too, you know," Todd had whispered, but after his long-winded rant, there was no force in his words.

"Me too," Levon had whispered back, voice warm and thick with affection. He had wanted to help Todd, to take the pain out of Todd's face. But he didn't know how. He wasn't able to help the boy who had protected him for so long. He simply sat, pressed against Todd's side, his head resting on the other boy's shoulder.

Levon suddenly found himself quite certain that that was the day he had fallen in love with Todd Jameson, but he hadn't known what the moment was yet. After a few more days of thinking, Levon also found himself quite certain, that if there was even a small chance that Todd wasn't straight, he could make Todd fall in love with him too. Bradly was right. They weren't friends. He had nothing to lose.

***

Chapter two! Thanks for checking it out if you do! Let me know what you think? :)