Within an hour, we were leaving the apartment for dinner. Harry had a mischievous sort of smile on his face whenever I'd sneak a look at him, and it was making my stomach flutter.
We'd both gotten changed, and I wasn't sure why I had such excitement in the pit of my stomach. In fairness, I always felt excited to be with him. We hadn't left the apartment in a little over a day, with everything that had happened in our attempt to go on a boat trip. It felt nice to be able to get out again, even if it was with his security sneaking us out of the back entrance of the apartment building and into a dark-tinted car.
It felt just like being back in the US, but I was too delighted to care. Today had been everything I could've ever wanted - I didn't mind having to hide a dinner together, as long as it meant that we got to have one. I felt so lucky, in that moment, to have him the way I did.
As the driver pulled away from the apartment building, I felt Harry's hand extend to land gently on my thigh, in the back of the car. My fingers began to gently toy with the cuff of his suit jacket, the luxurious white material feeling so thick and expensive in my hands. He had a pair of sunglasses tucked into his pocket, where the sun was still burning a vibrant orange as it lowered its position in the sky. He looked so beautiful that it felt impossible to tear my eyes from him.
"You look like you're up to something," I murmured, feeling him stroke his fingers over the fabric of my dress. I leaned in, noting how the playful glint in his eye had yet to waver since this morning, but especially since he'd announced we'd be going for dinner.
"Mm?" he hummed, with an innocent raise of his eyebrows. I could see it in his eyes, even if I didn't know what it was. He kissed the top of my head as I leaned in to rest my temple on his shoulder, his hand gently squeezing my thigh in acknowledgement.
"Thank you for today," I said, quietly, lifting my head after a moment so that I could look at him. His eyes were soft as they burned back into mine, listening diligently to my words. "I didn't... I didn't realise birthdays could be like this."
"All of our days can be like this," he whispered back, holding my gaze. I pressed my lips together, and I knew what he meant. He knew I struggled to believe I was deserving of anything as good as this; how I'd be battling with my own head to try and make sense of how I could feel so happy. Could all of our days really be like this? Was this really how life could be?
I leaned against his shoulder again, growing fixated on the narrow streets through the window, as we rolled through them in the car. I watched as we passed the market stalls, starting to be cleared away for the evening as the sun lowered its position more and more in the sky. I loved this place, just as he'd known I would. I wished we could've stayed here forever, in this little bubble. It was like nothing else mattered except him and me.
It felt so oddly freeing to have somebody know so much of you. I'd kept such a large part of myself locked up for so many years, and if somebody had told me even a matter of weeks ago that Harry would break through every barrier and wall I'd put up around myself; the idea would've been unfathomable. He'd rewritten every rule, just as he'd once told me that I had for him. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was all I'd ever wanted, or needed; all I'd ever need, for the rest of my days.
I'd left my cameras back in the apartment - I wouldn't have dreamed of bringing my special new one, for fear I'd break it somehow. Now, though, I was wishing I could've captured how perfect he looked beside me, in the back of the car. His shirt was half unbuttoned, with his cross pendant landing perfectly on his exposed skin, framed by the white material of his jacket and the pattern of his shirt, with his white wide-legged trousers to match. He was perfect, and he was mine.
The car finally pulled to a halt at a small restaurant. The wooden sign was engraved in Italian, and it had a string of warm fairy lights adorning the fixture. The streets were all cobblestone, here, still - and the road was particularly quiet to the point it felt like a side street. It didn't stop Harry's security from bundling around the car, and I sent him a glance, as if questioning if that brought even more attention to us than travelling alone on the little moped did. Nonetheless, I understood there was a process, and I followed it.
We got out of the car, and I reached immediately for Harry's hand, as if on instinct. He laced our fingers together, briefly bringing my knuckles to his lips to kiss them before we walked into the restaurant. A gentle shiver ran along the length of my spine as I squeezed his hand in response. I was endlessly besotted with him and how he made me feel; all his little touches and gestures. I'd never get enough of them.
We walked through the relaxed ambience of the entryway - the restaurant cast in a soft, warm light. A few people greeted us on our way in, and Harry sent one man in particular a small nod. He returned the gesture with a smile, and then I realised that we weren't being led to a table; but rather, Harry was leading us through the empty restaurant. I trusted him without hesitation, letting him guide us on through the room until we reached a set of double doors at the end of it.
"Have you been here before?" I asked him, glancing back to see the waiter he'd silently communicated with, before he shook his head. I could hear faint music from inside the room as we approached it.
"No," he said, stopping momentarily in front of the door. He let go of my hand, then, and it suddenly felt cold without the warmth of his palm, but his fingers soon found my waist. "He and I just talked a lot on the phone," he answered, clearly sensing how I'd noticed his subtle communications with the waiter - how they'd known to let him take us through, rather than them.
"On the phone?" I tilted my head, but all he did was smile, moving to take a step behind me and hold my waist, as if to position me to enter the room first. How much planning had he done?
I glanced back at him, feeling his hand coax over my waist for a moment, before he spoke again.
"So are we just gonna stand here all night?" he teased, playfully raising his eyebrows as I chuckled in response. I jokingly rolled my eyes, and I reached for the door handle, turning it with a mixture of excited and nervous anticipation.
I opened the door, and found the last thing I could've ever expected to be standing in front of me. My jaw dropped in an instant, my eyes widening as I froze to the spot.
No way.
The first person I saw was Elin, with a drink in her hand, before my eyes instantly flitted to Pauli beside her - and then Mitch, and then Sarah. Everybody was standing in front of a candlelit table - dressed up, holding drinks, and cheering excitedly the moment Harry and I stepped into the room. Everybody was here for my birthday.
"Oh my god," I laughed, breathless as I closed the gap between Elin and I and pulled her into a tight hug. I opened my arm the moment I'd reached her, and Pauli filled the space, stepping in to hug us both. Within a moment, Sarah and Mitch had joined us, and we were all hugging.
I hadn't expected this at all - it had only been a week since I'd seen them all, but having spent so many weeks without being apart from them for more than a couple of hours, it had felt like forever. I hadn't realised just how much I'd missed them until they were in front of me. These people had become so much more than just my friends in the couple of months we'd spent together - we experienced everything, morning to night, as a group; they'd all embraced me from the second they'd met me, and taken me in. This week off was for them to go home, and see their families and friends - yet they'd chosen to cut it short to come to Italy for my birthday. This was unfathomable.
"Happy birthday!" Elin grinned at me as Pauli squeezed my arm, echoing the same sentiment and I simply drew my eyes between them all, shaking my head, unable to stop smiling.
"This is crazy," I laughed, practically buzzing as I looked between them all, before glancing back at Harry. He was leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded, a soft smile on his lips as he simply watched me with our friends. There was a glint in his eye that made me feel so warm; I didn't even know where to look. I was so, so happy to be with all of them.
"So you're gonna leave me until last?"
I was watching Harry as I heard that unbelievably familiar voice ring from behind me, across the room. My lips immediately parted in shock, as Harry's smile only widened.
I would've known that voice anywhere.
I spun around, turning my head as my heart began to race. Behind them; all of them, beginning to walk towards me from the other side of the room, was my best friend in the entire world.
"Grace!"
I practically tackled her, closing the distance between us and racing towards her to envelop her in the tightest hug I was sure I'd ever given anybody. She laughed, immediately squeezing me back as I breathed in the comforting, familiar scent of her perfume and her clothes that I hadn't been able to smell in so long. It took everything I had inside not to burst into tears just at the warmth of her embrace.
It had been two months since I'd seen my best friend - the one person I'd been able to rely on for my entire life - and she was here, now, and she finally got to see me the way she'd spent so many years wanting to - happy.
We'd never been apart for so long - I was in complete shock to see her here. I felt her arms squeeze tighter around me, and I never wanted to let go - if it wasn't for her familiar presence keeping me so comforted and composed, I would've lost it. Though we'd talked every single day since I'd left, I'd missed her more than anything. Seeing Grace again was supposed to come with going back home - something I didn't dare to think of, much - but now, she was here, and everything was perfect. She was here with my other friends, with Harry, and with me. She was the real catalyst for me being here, after all - she'd wanted this for me long before I even did, and now, she got to be a part of it.
"I can't believe you're here," I finally murmured against her shoulder, holding onto her so tightly that had she not been reciprocating with an equally tight grip, I'd have feared that I was hurting her. I wasn't sure how long we stayed like that; or how many times I'd tightened and loosened my grip upon the repeated realisation that she was actually here, in front of me. I'd never felt anything like this before - ever. It was like everything I'd learned about myself over the past few weeks - and especially in the last few days - had come to a culmination, here and now; I was the happiest I'd ever been.
"I know," she murmured back against my ear, so that only I could hear her. "Imagine my face when I got a phone call from Harry Styles asking if I'd like to join you guys in fucking Italy."
I only laughed, squeezing her again as I realised the surreality of the situation. This was insane. I spent day after day wondering how this was my life, and now, it felt even more unbelievable.
"Oh my god, I've missed you so much," I mumbled, leaning back to look at her face. We held each other's faces in our hands, grinning like idiots for a moment whilst the others chatted.
I turned back to Harry, finally relinquishing my grip on Grace. He'd been watching me the entire time - for however long, I could feel it - with the softest of grins on his face.
"I can't believe you," I said to him.
"Who, me?" he only laughed, tilting his head teasingly to the side as I moved back over to him and took his face in my hands. His hands wrapped around my wrists where I held him, and he peered down at me with a loving smile as I only shook my head, reaching up to press our lips together. He leaned down to let me kiss him properly, my chest filled with so much warmth that I was sure it could just about explode.
I couldn't believe he'd done this for me - gotten everybody that I cared about into one space, for me. He'd made it happen - he'd gone out of his way to ensure I was happy.
I wound my arms fully around his neck, only peering up at him in enamoured disbelief. I was at a loss for words as his hands found my waist, his beautiful eyes peering back down at me before I buried my head into his shoulder, letting him embrace me.
"I love you," he murmured against my ear, making me squeeze him a little tighter. His arms wound fully around my body as we hugged, and I practically melted into his grip. "We all do."
I sunk into his touch as he said that, closing my eyes for a second to let his words wash over me. God, I felt it too. I felt for him so, so deeply, and he was so much better at verbalising it than I was.
I leaned back to gently stroke my thumb over his cheek, my eyes tracing from his, to his lips.
"So, you two have met?" I asked, with a soft smile, drawing back a little so I could look over at Grace, as he still held onto me. She'd moved a little closer.
"Not in person," Harry replied, finally drawing his eyes from me to look at Grace with a friendly expression. "It's good to meet you properly. I'm glad you could make it," he said, letting go of me to move towards Grace and pull her into a hug.
Watching them interact with one another felt sort of like a fever dream. My life at home had felt completely separate from the one I'd had here - with Grace being the absolute best part of that life, and Harry being the best part of this one. I still had to wrap my head around the fact that both of those lives were mine, and I had both of them - I had the most amazing best friend in the world, and the most incredible boyfriend. Somehow, this was real.
I watched with a smile as they hugged, and I caught Grace playfully widening her eyes at me over his shoulder. They exchanged a couple of words before Harry turned back to look at me.
"Do you want a drink?" he asked, and I nodded with a smile on my lips. He turned to Grace, then. "Can I get you one, too?"
"That would be great," she accepted, nodding her head. "Me and Izzy like all the same things," she told him, so that he wouldn't have to worry about picking something she liked. I watched him as he walked away from us, and I turned back to Grace.
"I have so much to tell you," I said, unable to stop smiling as I faced my best friend, and she reached for my hand. "And I want to know everything that's being going on with you. Every little thing - anything you might've missed on the phone." She shook her head for a moment, smiling back at me.
"We'll get there," she said, a warm glint in her eye as she looked at me. "I'm just," she paused, exhaling and leaning in to hug me again, "I'm so happy for you, Izzy. Look at you."
She leaned back from our hug for a second, her smile unbelievably genuine. "You look so happy."
"I am," I whispered back, as if I was apprehensive to admit it out loud. I grinned back at her, a little surer in my words. "I really am. You're the reason I'm here, Grace."
She shook her head again, "This is all you, Izzy. You just needed a push. I told you this was gonna be the start of something," she said, glancing over at Harry as he moved back over to us, somehow skilfully balancing three drinks between his fingers. "And I'm so glad it was this."
We finally all sat down to eat, with Harry on my left and Grace on my right. It felt so good to be back in a room with Elin, Pauli, Mitch, and Sarah - and having Grace with us made it even better.
I knew Elin and Grace would get along especially well, from the moment I'd met Elin - she had that same quick-wittedness that Grace did, and they both had a real genuineness to them in common. Immediately, the two of them were laughing, and Pauli easily joined in. I couldn't budge the fondness in my chest, just watching everybody interact.
"So," Sarah said to me and Harry, resting her chin in her hand as she sat across from us. Mitch was leaning back in his chair, with his arm extended across the back of Sarah's. "How has this week been? You've both been so quiet!"
"It's been amazing," I replied, glancing at Harry as he sipped his drink, trying not to grow lost in the attractive flex of his jaw. I brought my eyes back to Sarah. I supposed the pair of us had been quiet - I'd avoided my phone like the plague, but I knew that Harry had made a point of staying off his phone, too. Aside from anything else, it didn't feel like we needed our phones when we had each other.
"I was saying to Mitch that we should come here on the next break from tour," she said, looking between me and Harry. "I've only ever come when we're touring, so I've never really looked around."
"It's definitely worth it," I said, honestly, feeling Harry's hand squeeze gently at my knee. I meant it - even with everything that had happened this week, I loved this place. It would always be special to me, now, I could feel it. "I wish we could stay for longer."
"Well, we'll come back," Harry said, as I looped both of my arms with one of his. His eyes were full of sincerity as he pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Whenever we get the chance."
Dinner was the most fun I'd had since I could remember - each night I'd spent with this group always felt like it somehow topped the last, but this was a new peak. I had my best friend here, with my boyfriend, and with my friends who I'd met on this tour - and it felt like this was it. It couldn't get better than this. This was everything I'd ever wanted, without even realising it; this was perfect.
I'd had a couple of drinks, but I certainly wasn't drunk, and I was sure everybody was pretty much on the same level. We ate and drank some more, and it felt like I didn't stop smiling or laughing the whole evening. Grace and Harry got along perfectly, and so did everybody else.
Everybody started to peel away from the table to fill various seats throughout the room, after we'd eaten. There were a couple of armchairs, and a couch, and so conversations began to spill into those areas, instead. We'd been sitting with Elin and Sarah, before Grace and I had decided to go and head outside onto the terrace to catch up a bit. I'd stopped to glance at Harry to see what he was doing before I went anywhere.
"You okay?" he murmured as I approached him in his conversation with Mitch and Pauli. I nodded, a smile on my lips as I leaned in to give him a short kiss. "Need anything?"
"I'm great," I replied, stroking my thumb briefly over his cheek as his hand found my waist. I leaned into his side for a moment, noticing the drink in his hand. "What are you drinking?" I asked, curiously.
He tilted his chin at me, playfully holding the glass up to offer it to me. I let him bring it to my mouth, and the moment the bitter liquor touched my lips, I grimaced and pushed it away, causing him to laugh.
"That was mean," I huffed jokingly at him, feeling him gently pinch my hip.
"I'm sorry. Too easy," he murmured back, leaning down to kiss me again. I leaned back after a moment, struggling not to grow lost in thought about how deeply enamoured I was with him. I couldn't resist kissing the corner of his mouth another time, before I glanced back over to Grace.
"I'm gonna go outside for a minute," I told him, and he nodded, winding his arm properly around my lower back for a moment, as he sipped his drink casually with his free hand. I leaned in to drape my arms over his shoulders, relishing in the warmth of his body like we were the only two people in the room.
"You don't have a jacket, do you?" he asked, never failing to be diligent and thoughtful about things I wouldn't even consider. "Take mine with you."
"I'm sure it's not too cold," I returned, glancing out of the window where it was already very dark outside, but he was already setting his drink down on the nearby table to slide his blazer from his shoulders. I couldn't help but smile fondly as he pulled off the jacket, tilting his head to prompt me to put my own wine glass down. I put it down, spinning around to let him drape his jacket over my shoulders, and I was immediately enveloped in the warmth and familiarity of Harry. I wore his clothes a lot, but the feeling of his clothes straight from his body was like nothing else.
I could smell the richness of his cologne as he playfully pulled the edges of the blazer together, around my body, further surrounding me with his warmth. I leaned in again, unable to resist pecking his lips again. I'd only meant to go over to him for a moment, but now I was in his presence - as ever - it felt impossible to leave; like I couldn't ever get enough of him, even though I knew he wasn't going anywhere.
He dipped his head to offer another kiss, as if sensing my feeling, and granting me more of him. I kissed him one more time, the bitter liquor he'd been drinking somehow tasting far better when it came from his lips, before I finally picked up my own drink and drew myself away, sending him a final glance. Even with his jacket around me, I missed his hands on my body the second I created some distance between us, but I wanted to go and see Grace just as much.
The pair of us sat down outside on the terrace, on two chairs overlooking the street. This side street was quiet, and there had been no more signs of paparazzi since the events of the other day. It was tranquil, and quiet, as the light and chatter from inside was muffled from our distance. Harry was right - it was a little colder, now, in the night air, and his comforting jacket around my shoulders stopped the wind from whipping at my bare arms.
"Johnny wanted to be here, by the way," Grace said, as we sat down, and I turned in my chair to face her. "He misses you."
"I miss him too. I'm glad his leg is a little better," I said, recalling how Johnny had recently sent me an email to say he was taking his medication again, and that it was helping. If I'd known about everybody's plans to come and visit us for my birthday, I'd still not have expected Johnny to make an appearance - he'd not been on a plane likely since before I was alive; it just wasn't his thing. I didn't mind it - I also knew he didn't trust his pub in the hands of anybody else, and if he was happy to stay in London, then I was happy for it, too.
"So," Grace said, after a moment, changing the subject. "Why didn't you tell me that Pauli guy is kind of cute?"
I burst out laughing, having not expected her to lead with that. "I'm sorry. I was a bit preoccupied with someone else."
"He is cute, though, you have to admit it," she said, with an equally playful smile, glancing back over her shoulder to look at him, inside.
"Pauli's amazing," I told her, sincerely, taking a sip of my drink. He was an incredible person, just as Grace was. I laughed softly, again, knowing Harry would grow very invested in this potential pairing as soon as I mentioned it to him. "You should go for it."
"I'm just feeling inspired by you, I think," she said, exhaling contentedly and glancing out at the deserted street over the railing, below us, before she tilted her head back towards the gathering inside. "I've never seen you with somebody like this, Izzy. I love it. Plus, I'm glad you picked the band member who was always my favourite."
I laughed at her joke before I followed her movement, my eyes landing on Harry, where he was positioned a little further inside - his ear against Mitch's mouth as they spoke, before Harry threw his head back to burst out in laughter. I smiled, fondly.
"I haven't told him about how you had a poster of him on your wall. I don't think he'd ever let us live it down," I teased, meeting her eyes.
"Oh my god, I forgot about that," she laughed, covering her mouth as the situation began to sink in. "I had a poster of your boyfriend..."
"He'd find it funny, I promise," I returned, bringing my knees up to my chest as I sat comfortably in my chair. I pondered her words a little more. She'd never seen me like this, because I'd never been like this. She'd witnessed me with Calvin; with how much my heart wasn't in it - and now she got to see me in a polar opposite situation.
I grew a little more solemn as I spoke, looking at her affectionately. "You've always been so patient with me," I whispered, watching her smile softly.
"You needed it. I just want you to be happy," she returned easily. I was so lucky to have her.
"I've never felt like this before, Grace," I said, a soft smile on my lips. "He is just... everything," I stopped for a moment, noticing how she was diligently listening to me. "It's like he knows what I'm thinking before I even say it... he knows what I need, and what I want... he understands me so well. He's so patient, and he listens to everything I say; every detail. He remembers and notices the tiniest little things about me, and I just... I never need a break from being around him. It's like a relief, every time he walks into the room. He doesn't push, or wear me out, and I don't..." I trailed off, realising how easy it had been to ramble so freely about him. Grace was smiling, invested, nodding gently. "I don't have to pretend."
I watched her eyebrows softly furrow, as she took in my last sentence. She'd always told me it would be okay. That one day, this all wouldn't feel so heavy; but she knew that my biggest obstacle was my past. She knew I'd never wanted to come clean about anything that had happened, even though it wasn't my doing.
"You told him?" she asked, softly, her eyes full of emotion as she looked at me. She knew this was a huge deal. I'd never met somebody and told them the details of my past; she knew that, as much as she'd encouraged me to be a little more open - she'd always understood.
I nodded, watching her gasp softly. "Everything... I told him everything, last night. I-I wasn't being fair," I said, watching her eyes hold onto mine, as if taking it all in. "It's not fair to keep so much a secret, if I-" I paused, swallowing at how easily a certain set of words had almost just slipped out of my mouth. I corrected myself quickly, "If I want to be with him."
Oh my god.
She didn't appear to notice, completely lost in my revelation. "What did he say?"
"He told me that he loved me," I said, softly, watching as her hand rose to cover her mouth. I wasn't sure why I felt close to tears again, all of a sudden, but when I saw her look like she was about to cry as well, it took everything in me not to lose it, there and then.
Grace and I had been through so much together, and she'd always been anything but selfish. She was so patient, even when I wasn't helping myself; she had always, always had my back - without fail. Not a single bone in her body harboured anything but happiness for me, now, I could see it - all she'd ever done was support me, even when I wasn't always emotionally capable of being a great friend back to her. She'd pushed me to make every right decision for myself, and though she was too humble to admit it, she was the sole reason that I was here. She was the one who had pushed me to take this opportunity, and the constant voice of reason in my ear every time I'd pushed Harry and I's connection away. She was the reason I'd found him again.
"Did you...?" she whispered, trailing off. I shook my head.
"Not yet," I whispered back, even though I knew he couldn't hear us, nor would he be upset by my words. I stopped, closing my eyes for a second, a shaky exhale leaving my lips as I found the strength for my next sentence. "But I do."
"Don't be so scared of it," she said, reaching across from her chair to grab my hand. That was the first time I'd ever even admitted it - to anybody else, but even to myself. I'd thought I didn't even know what the word meant, but this had to be it. It had to be.
"Grace, you know that I've never-" I paused, my voice pleading and quiet. "How am I supposed to know? W-When he says it, I can feel it... it's like I know exactly what it means, and what that feeling is. But it's like... I never thought that I'd have it. I've never had it."
"There's no rulebook," she replied, squeezing my hand. "He doesn't have to tick certain boxes, and neither do you. It's okay to question it when you've been through everything that you have, Izzy. They never taught you what it was," she said, then, growing a little firmer, "but it doesn't mean that he can't."
I let her words sink in for a second, glancing down at the floor. She was right. I didn't have to know the experience and the feeling before him, in some sort of attempt to rationalise it - there wasn't a right answer. It wasn't a matter of whether I felt for him with such intensity; it was that word, that stupid, wretched word. I lingered on it and its meaning far too much, when in reality, if I simply removed the confinements of some sort of definition I'd been searching for; suddenly, I wasn't so uncertain.
If it was a question of whether I wanted absolutely every part of him, then it was an easy 'yes'. If it came down to if I could see myself with him - experiencing and navigating things together - then I was equally just as in favour. If it came down to whether I wanted to know him, and have him know me in return - now, more than ever, it was an instant 'yes'. I wanted to be there for him; I wanted to be what he wanted, and I wanted him to be the same thing for me.
There was a reason why those words had almost fallen from my mouth a few moments prior, without me even meaning for it to happen. It was practically instinctual, even when in my head, it went against everything I'd ever known. I was capable, no matter what they'd told me. I could feel this, and I did. It didn't have to be such a complex, conscious action - it could just be this.
I knew, undoubtedly, that I didn't want to go back to a time when I didn't wake up to his messy curls and his soft eyes. I didn't ever want a time when he wasn't the only person I wanted, or the one I got to kiss and hold, whenever I wanted. He pushed me out of my comfort zone, every day, and he never hesitated to make me feel heard, simultaneously. He made me feel valued. There was a warmth and comfort in being with him, even if we were doing something trivial, or mundane - it didn't matter. I wanted all of him. I wanted to be better for him, but at the same time, he made it abundantly clear that he didn't want me to change a single thing. There wasn't anything about him that I didn't love, and I'd known that - I'd known that even when I was battling with myself over whether I should tell him the truth about myself. I'd known, that if he were to come to me with anything; it couldn't have changed how I looked at him - I'd have done anything if it meant keeping him. That was when I'd known this was more than I'd ever intended it to be, and I was so head over heels, now, that I wasn't sure I cared.
I couldn't even hear that relentless nagging that permanently occupied the back of my mind, now; it was mere background. At the forefront, was this; was Harry. If I stopped all the noise, just for a moment, and it came down to just him and me - then the answer was simple. My father had been wrong.
I looked back through the balcony doors, watching Harry as he chatted away to the others. He was so good at capturing everybody's attention, including mine. Even with the people in the room being his closest friends, they still hung onto his every word - each joke that he'd so skilfully build up to, and masterfully deliver; each story he'd tell. Even if I somehow disregarded every feeling I had for him; he was still completely and utterly magic.
I heard his beautiful laughter carry across the room, and even in the midst of his conversation, I caught his eyes drift briefly to land on me, in a silent check-in. The moment his eyes met mine, my stomach fluttered in those never-ceasing butterflies that he absolutely never failed to provide me with.
Grace was right. They hadn't taught me anything about this - nothing that could've ever resembled this kind of warmth, but Harry had. And I was in love with him.