Chapter 32: Chapter 32

ODETTE

“How do you feel about going back to work?” Reece asked.

“Honestly? I’d rather be a stay-at-home mom, but I also want to pull my weight with the bills.”

“I think it would be more budget-friendly if you stayed home. Daycare is expensive, and I make enough and then some to take care of everything,” Reece added. He was confirming that he was fine with me staying home.

“I have to leave for my appointment. Can we talk about this later?” I asked.

I didn’t want Reece to think I was taking advantage of him if I decided to stay home with Caroline.

“Of course. Be safe and good luck.”

I kissed Reece and Caroline goodbye before heading out. Today was my first therapy session, and I was nervous. I had no idea what to expect or where to start.

***

“What made you make this appointment?” Dr. Lawrence asked. I had sought out a male therapist because I thought he would be less judgmental.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I told my fiancé I would talk to someone.”

“And why did he want you to talk to someone?”

I let out a sigh. “I let everything build up, and I took it out on him,” I admitted.

“You signed a medical waiver, so I was able to pull your medical file, and I see you just became a first-time parent.”

“Yes, her name is Caroline,” I said with a smile.

“And she was born under duress; your ex-boyfriend attacked you?” he asked.

“He did. He’s also her father,” I admitted angrily.

“Tell me a bit about your relationship with him.”

“What do you want to know?” I asked back.

“How about you start at the beginning. Tell me how you met him.”

“We met in college; we had several freshman year classes together. I thought he was a great guy, and our friendship continued until junior year when he asked me out, and I decided that it wouldn’t hurt.”

“Was he abusive during this time?” Dr. Lawrence asked.

“I didn’t see it then, but he was manipulative. If I did something he didn’t like, he would belittle me. The physical abuse didn’t start until after college when it was easier to keep me from people.”

“Why did you stay with him?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t know.”

“I think you do know,” he accused.

“At first, it was about not being good enough, that he was the only one who would accept me for who I am. Then it turned into fear. I tried to leave him, but he always pulled me back, and people didn’t believe me when I asked for help.”

I went on to tell him everything that he did to me and what happened during the attack. We ended the appointment talking about Reece and my life now.

“Next week, I want you to be prepared to talk about your current relationship. I also want you to take this notebook and write your feelings down throughout the week by answering the questions on each page when you are feeling overwhelmed with sadness, anger, or any emotion that you need to get out.”

I nodded at him, took the notebook, and thanked him for seeing me today. I felt like today was pointless; I felt like we didn’t accomplish anything. Maybe I should have told him that.

***

When I got home, I found Reece sleeping on the couch with Caroline. It was the most precious thing I’d seen in a while, so I quickly took out my phone and snapped a picture. The sound of the shutter woke Reece up.

“Hey.” His voice was low and scratchy, and I loved the way sleepy Reece looked and sounded.

“How was everything?” Reece asked.

“It was okay. I will go back next week, but I don’t feel like it accomplished anything,” I admitted.

“It was only one appointment. Give it some time and see where it goes.”

“I know, that’s why I’m going back next week,” I replied.

“When is your next doctor’s appointment?”

“Next week, Caroline and I have a follow-up appointment to make sure everything is healing.”

“Do you need or want me to go?” Reece asked.

“No, you’ve already taken a lot of time off work.”

“Are you sure? Because I can take more time off?” Reece asked again.

“I’m sure. You do a lot for us, and I don’t want your work to suffer; you’ve worked hard to get where you are.”

“If you change your mind, let me know.”

“I love you,” I said, before kissing him and heading upstairs to change. I still found jeans bothersome to wear, and I despised wearing a dress in public. All I really wanted were my comfortable leggings.

To my surprise, when I entered our bedroom, I found a dozen yellow roses lying on the bed and a dozen red roses on the nightstand.

I walked over to the roses on the bed and picked up the letter that lay next to them.

~Etta,~

~You may think this is cheesy, but I wanted to remind you how much you are loved. I know it hasn’t been easy, but always remember you have me. I am here to support you, love you, and take care of you.~

~Thank you for choosing to share your life with me, and thank you for letting me be a father figure to Caroline. I look forward to being your forever.~

~Enjoy the roses, and when you are ready for some alone time, use the spa vouchers and take a friend.~

~Love you forever, Reece.~

I went downstairs to where Reece was. He had put Caroline in her playpen. I walked up to him and kissed him.

“Who would have thought you would be the romantic type?” I joked.

“I try because I know you like it,” he replied.

It was moments like this that reminded me to always be thankful for having a guy like Reece in my life.